AzPistonsGirl
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any update? I can't find anything new... Amanda, we're still here for you...
Found Deceased MI - James Hepworth, 38, Oceana County, 1 August 2016
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Blondie in Spokane
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So glad you're back with us Amanda. We're all here for you and ready to help however we can
I do not believe his disappearance is in any way connected physically to his family, even extended ones. He did not have contact with any family, at all, for a few years leading up to his disappearance. He did not have any close relationships with any cousins, Aunts/Uncles either. The only one he was close to was his Grandfather who passed away last summer.
As for divorce, I did not file until a month ago. Now, this is where it gets a little complicated because James told a lot of people at his work that I was divorcing him and was going to leave him. We would actually fight about THAT because I didnt understand why he kept telling people I was leaving him when I wasnt giving him that indication. I dont know if he was having some mental delusions going on or if he wanted to leave the marriage but wanted to place the burden on me in the eyes of the community. He sent me about 5 songs in facebook messenger on Sunday afternoon of July 31st. The song meanings give the idea that he was suffering from guilt from a possible affair... Now I know that he had a relationship with someone in the past but it wasnt a current ongoing one. So either he had a new one i wasnt aware of or he was still consumed with guilt from the prior. He didnt know I knew about the last one so it was never discussed. Because of his family estrangement he did have a lot of anxiety over whether or not I would abandon him too. Now we did have some marriage issues prior to his leaving and he did mention divorce a little. But my attitude was always "we will figure this out... " One night in early June I remember him coming to the edge of the sidewalk to talk to me. He told me he was done. that our marriage was done. He felt I was done with him. I said i was not done with him. He told me I was... and I said we couldnt afford two house holds and I didnt want to have to go through custody/visitation etc... that I wanted to work through our issues because it would just be easier. I didnt see any issue so great as to have to end 16 years. We were having communication problems. But he said he would be leaving in a way that didnt require custody/visitation and he was only going to leave me "one way" when he said this, his eyes were very spooky... He had them open extra and he wasnt blinking very much. I took it to mean he was going to take his life. I reminded him of my Grandfather who took his life in 1983. That I was certain my Grandfather would have taken a different route if he had a chance.. That suicide removes the options to make life better. He felt that we would be happier and better off without him. I still consoled him best i could.. to get him through this low spot. For 2-3 days after his eyes were still scary but he spent most of his time alone. This must have been in June. June 18th he was threatening to kill himself which i have records of on my phone. He stayed outside all night overnight telling me he was going to kill himself and that I better not go into the woods to look for him and to make sure the kids didnt either. We engaged though through texting and he never shut his phone off. By noon next day we went out to the woods and he came home with us after a little talking. By July he was constantly accusing me of affairs... accusing me of lying and that I did not need him anymore and i was moving on without him. My children were gearing up for not one but TWO COunty Fairs for August. We had 4H meetings, animal trainings etc left and right. Yes we were very busy but I constantly assured him that it wasnt any indication about him- we are just busy and by september life would slow down again.
I re-read the messages the week before he left. THere was I love Yous... just little things about life. He did take out $300 on Tuesday and Wednesday that week from the bank (so total of $600) he didnt conceal the fact he had removed money. He has done that in the past so it wasnt a red flag. He usually put it into savings. This money was still on him at the time of his disappearance. He may have removed some from our safe prior to leaving too but I do not have a money amount to that one except it was less than $1000. It was likely less than $500 and possibly even less than $200. We really did not have much available but I dont know what was in there more specifically.
Saturday before he left (two days) we had a little bit of a spat. He was not happy with me. I was running errands when he got out of work. I was on my period so cramping real bad so I cancelled our family picnic at the state park. I wasnt communicating with him very well and just told him to go home, i would be there soon. It would end up being about 4 hours before I got home. He ended up only getting home about 10 minutes before me but I did not know that at the time. We suspect he actually drove out to the place where he abandoned his van and had visited it that afternoon. He has a fitbit and you could see where he was driving, walked a little bit, then drove home. NEighbors at the place where the van was abandoned did tell police they had saw his van there. I do not know if he had considered making THAT his time to leave and then chickened out or what... BUT he WAS THERE prior to his disappearance... and I dont know if he was there prior to that. THere is a lodge in vicinity but its a time share kind of thing so not the same people there each week. Otherwise there is just some older people who visit their cabins on weekends.
If James hadnt left, I wouldnt have likely filed for divorce. Most of the reasons for filing was because of everything i learned AFTER he left... and quite honestly, how HAPPY I have felt in some areas of life BECAUSE he left.. It was an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage. But it ws easier to see that looking back than I was seeing while still in the midst of it.
Now one of those "i learned this after" things is his cell phone records. We have straight talk so they do not give us much details. But it appears he was regularly texting someone. The report just says n/a instead of giving me a number. He was messaging this person while he sat on the toilet that morning and I was a few feet away brushing my hair. I dont know who they are... I dont know if it was a woman or not.. I want to know if there is some sort of App that you can use to text that would show up as n/a in a phone record. He had other texts to other people where it showed me their cell phone numbers. So I dont think it is just straight talks way of handling texts. There was something about how he was texting or to what kind of number he was texting that was causing that information to be not available. WHOEVER this person is, they likely had the last contact with him and they would know where he went that day or even where he is now.
There were a couple times when i went to his work in June/July and he would tell me he almost walked out of work that day and he was going to go take his life. He said if I hadnt shown up, he was clocked out and he wasnt coming back. I did kind of blow these comments off because I just felt it was about manipulation/attention. I did not understand why WORK would have a trigger like that. There was nothing going on in texts with me... there was nothing going on at home those days so why was work pushing him over the edge? I considered the idea that he had a woman at work but so far all my questioning of coworkers nothing has surfaced to indicate there was a woman there that was of his interests.
So August 1st... overall a normal day... but I had certainly become accustomed to driving past his work just to make sure his vehicle was there because of the threats he had made. So when we were heading to a fair to set up for the upcoming week I went past his work 5 minutes before clock out and his vehicle wasnt there. I started calling his phone which was off. This isnt the first time he shut his phone off for a couple hours and would later come home telling me he went to the state park and slept in his hammock in the woods. Now some might think "oh this is where he went to see a woman" well on one occasion I did go out to the state park and indeed, he was there... and alone.. I was thinking he just felt he needed some alone time.
Anyways, about a hour later I messaged his coworker and asked if James had gone home with an injury or something but I noticed he wasnt at work at end of the day. She said that she had heard he had walked out of work midshift. That is when I got very nervous. He actually left! This is a man who would go to work with high fevers. He hated letting down work but he left midshift??
I kept checking his phone but he never turned it back on. By morning when he missed clocking into work for his shift is when I went to police and filed an endangered person/missing person report. He did have a 9mm with him. He had threatened suicide so many times that it was the logical explanation.
So, zoom ahead.. his van was found a few days later about 50 miles from work off the end of a seasonal road. Not a familiar area to us. No significance other than being a few miles off a road we traveled when going on our yearly camping trips. He had flattened all 4 of his tires, drained the battery, took his keys off his carbiner and tossed them into the woods about 10 feet from van. 50 feet in same direction he had taken his ammo out of both of his clips. There should have been a total of 31 bullets but we only found 16. They were not fired, they were just scattered. Both clips were empty and tossed a little further in. Tossed because there was some debrie inside the clip corner on one of them. A month later Mike Neiger found two pieces of his sunglasses 1000 feet in another direction but just off a two track. Nothing else of his was ever discovered. Missing is a tray from the console, the USB insert for phone charger, tire gauge, maybe a chisel, his cell phone, his wallet and his body.. Still in the van was his water bottle, his water packback for hiking, his walking stick, his hammock, extra clothes he always kept in his van, extra shoes, his FAVORITE hat, and his lunch box which still had food in it. I also suspect he had on him a smaller lunch box that was not returned to me from his work so I have to assume it is on him.. Oh and he left the gun holster in the van but the gun itself is still unaccounted for.
So it does give the appearance he may have fled after abandoning his vehicle. What he left behind would certainly give me the impression he had taken his life. Because to hike/leave he would have taken certain items. That state/federal forest is big! many places to hide. It has bears. It has a swift winding river (Pine River) lots of places where one could take their life and not easily be found. We spent a LOT of time searching those woods. Several Search and Rescue groups came out... Lots of police hours with their dogs.
That is why I changed my attitude to that he must have left the woods... and to have left the woods it would mean he was running from his life. If he was just depressed from family abandonment etc he could have taken his life in the woods. But to leave the woods, that said to me I was wrong on his motives... thats when I started viewing him more as a coward who abandoned his family.
As for divorce, I did not file until a month ago. Now, this is where it gets a little complicated because James told a lot of people at his work that I was divorcing him and was going to leave him. We would actually fight about THAT because I didnt understand why he kept telling people I was leaving him when I wasnt giving him that indication. I dont know if he was having some mental delusions going on or if he wanted to leave the marriage but wanted to place the burden on me in the eyes of the community. He sent me about 5 songs in facebook messenger on Sunday afternoon of July 31st. The song meanings give the idea that he was suffering from guilt from a possible affair... Now I know that he had a relationship with someone in the past but it wasnt a current ongoing one. So either he had a new one i wasnt aware of or he was still consumed with guilt from the prior. He didnt know I knew about the last one so it was never discussed. Because of his family estrangement he did have a lot of anxiety over whether or not I would abandon him too. Now we did have some marriage issues prior to his leaving and he did mention divorce a little. But my attitude was always "we will figure this out... " One night in early June I remember him coming to the edge of the sidewalk to talk to me. He told me he was done. that our marriage was done. He felt I was done with him. I said i was not done with him. He told me I was... and I said we couldnt afford two house holds and I didnt want to have to go through custody/visitation etc... that I wanted to work through our issues because it would just be easier. I didnt see any issue so great as to have to end 16 years. We were having communication problems. But he said he would be leaving in a way that didnt require custody/visitation and he was only going to leave me "one way" when he said this, his eyes were very spooky... He had them open extra and he wasnt blinking very much. I took it to mean he was going to take his life. I reminded him of my Grandfather who took his life in 1983. That I was certain my Grandfather would have taken a different route if he had a chance.. That suicide removes the options to make life better. He felt that we would be happier and better off without him. I still consoled him best i could.. to get him through this low spot. For 2-3 days after his eyes were still scary but he spent most of his time alone. This must have been in June. June 18th he was threatening to kill himself which i have records of on my phone. He stayed outside all night overnight telling me he was going to kill himself and that I better not go into the woods to look for him and to make sure the kids didnt either. We engaged though through texting and he never shut his phone off. By noon next day we went out to the woods and he came home with us after a little talking. By July he was constantly accusing me of affairs... accusing me of lying and that I did not need him anymore and i was moving on without him. My children were gearing up for not one but TWO COunty Fairs for August. We had 4H meetings, animal trainings etc left and right. Yes we were very busy but I constantly assured him that it wasnt any indication about him- we are just busy and by september life would slow down again.
I re-read the messages the week before he left. THere was I love Yous... just little things about life. He did take out $300 on Tuesday and Wednesday that week from the bank (so total of $600) he didnt conceal the fact he had removed money. He has done that in the past so it wasnt a red flag. He usually put it into savings. This money was still on him at the time of his disappearance. He may have removed some from our safe prior to leaving too but I do not have a money amount to that one except it was less than $1000. It was likely less than $500 and possibly even less than $200. We really did not have much available but I dont know what was in there more specifically.
Saturday before he left (two days) we had a little bit of a spat. He was not happy with me. I was running errands when he got out of work. I was on my period so cramping real bad so I cancelled our family picnic at the state park. I wasnt communicating with him very well and just told him to go home, i would be there soon. It would end up being about 4 hours before I got home. He ended up only getting home about 10 minutes before me but I did not know that at the time. We suspect he actually drove out to the place where he abandoned his van and had visited it that afternoon. He has a fitbit and you could see where he was driving, walked a little bit, then drove home. NEighbors at the place where the van was abandoned did tell police they had saw his van there. I do not know if he had considered making THAT his time to leave and then chickened out or what... BUT he WAS THERE prior to his disappearance... and I dont know if he was there prior to that. THere is a lodge in vicinity but its a time share kind of thing so not the same people there each week. Otherwise there is just some older people who visit their cabins on weekends.
If James hadnt left, I wouldnt have likely filed for divorce. Most of the reasons for filing was because of everything i learned AFTER he left... and quite honestly, how HAPPY I have felt in some areas of life BECAUSE he left.. It was an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage. But it ws easier to see that looking back than I was seeing while still in the midst of it.
Now one of those "i learned this after" things is his cell phone records. We have straight talk so they do not give us much details. But it appears he was regularly texting someone. The report just says n/a instead of giving me a number. He was messaging this person while he sat on the toilet that morning and I was a few feet away brushing my hair. I dont know who they are... I dont know if it was a woman or not.. I want to know if there is some sort of App that you can use to text that would show up as n/a in a phone record. He had other texts to other people where it showed me their cell phone numbers. So I dont think it is just straight talks way of handling texts. There was something about how he was texting or to what kind of number he was texting that was causing that information to be not available. WHOEVER this person is, they likely had the last contact with him and they would know where he went that day or even where he is now.
There were a couple times when i went to his work in June/July and he would tell me he almost walked out of work that day and he was going to go take his life. He said if I hadnt shown up, he was clocked out and he wasnt coming back. I did kind of blow these comments off because I just felt it was about manipulation/attention. I did not understand why WORK would have a trigger like that. There was nothing going on in texts with me... there was nothing going on at home those days so why was work pushing him over the edge? I considered the idea that he had a woman at work but so far all my questioning of coworkers nothing has surfaced to indicate there was a woman there that was of his interests.
So August 1st... overall a normal day... but I had certainly become accustomed to driving past his work just to make sure his vehicle was there because of the threats he had made. So when we were heading to a fair to set up for the upcoming week I went past his work 5 minutes before clock out and his vehicle wasnt there. I started calling his phone which was off. This isnt the first time he shut his phone off for a couple hours and would later come home telling me he went to the state park and slept in his hammock in the woods. Now some might think "oh this is where he went to see a woman" well on one occasion I did go out to the state park and indeed, he was there... and alone.. I was thinking he just felt he needed some alone time.
Anyways, about a hour later I messaged his coworker and asked if James had gone home with an injury or something but I noticed he wasnt at work at end of the day. She said that she had heard he had walked out of work midshift. That is when I got very nervous. He actually left! This is a man who would go to work with high fevers. He hated letting down work but he left midshift??
I kept checking his phone but he never turned it back on. By morning when he missed clocking into work for his shift is when I went to police and filed an endangered person/missing person report. He did have a 9mm with him. He had threatened suicide so many times that it was the logical explanation.
So, zoom ahead.. his van was found a few days later about 50 miles from work off the end of a seasonal road. Not a familiar area to us. No significance other than being a few miles off a road we traveled when going on our yearly camping trips. He had flattened all 4 of his tires, drained the battery, took his keys off his carbiner and tossed them into the woods about 10 feet from van. 50 feet in same direction he had taken his ammo out of both of his clips. There should have been a total of 31 bullets but we only found 16. They were not fired, they were just scattered. Both clips were empty and tossed a little further in. Tossed because there was some debrie inside the clip corner on one of them. A month later Mike Neiger found two pieces of his sunglasses 1000 feet in another direction but just off a two track. Nothing else of his was ever discovered. Missing is a tray from the console, the USB insert for phone charger, tire gauge, maybe a chisel, his cell phone, his wallet and his body.. Still in the van was his water bottle, his water packback for hiking, his walking stick, his hammock, extra clothes he always kept in his van, extra shoes, his FAVORITE hat, and his lunch box which still had food in it. I also suspect he had on him a smaller lunch box that was not returned to me from his work so I have to assume it is on him.. Oh and he left the gun holster in the van but the gun itself is still unaccounted for.
So it does give the appearance he may have fled after abandoning his vehicle. What he left behind would certainly give me the impression he had taken his life. Because to hike/leave he would have taken certain items. That state/federal forest is big! many places to hide. It has bears. It has a swift winding river (Pine River) lots of places where one could take their life and not easily be found. We spent a LOT of time searching those woods. Several Search and Rescue groups came out... Lots of police hours with their dogs.
That is why I changed my attitude to that he must have left the woods... and to have left the woods it would mean he was running from his life. If he was just depressed from family abandonment etc he could have taken his life in the woods. But to leave the woods, that said to me I was wrong on his motives... thats when I started viewing him more as a coward who abandoned his family.
Sorry for the mini novel there. I just get carried away sometimes (okay often) but it gives you a good idea of the situation i think... There was some mental instability going on. There is some potential even for a psychotic break even. (because of delusions, funny eyes etc)
Here we are, just shy of 3 months, and he still has not used any electronic devices. He has not made any contact with anyone to my knowledge. His family still do not act like they care very much. Again, i dont think they are involved, its just that, he was the black sheep in a family of religious people who otherwise do their best to maintain the highest image possible.
He did follow Sovereignty stuff for awhile.. Where he believed in someones right/freedom to obtain employment without a SS card/number, Birth certificate and right to travel without a drivers license etc. So I know he has a mindset where he could and would go work for people for cash. He has the skills and ability to disappear. BUT I am just not sure how he would have been able to do so given he didnt have any known help to leave the area where his van was abandoned. Hitchhiking maybe but that isnt the same as getting to a predetermined destination. He had some money but if he couldnt find a job it wouldnt last. He left his van so where was his means of transportation or means of shelter if he didnt have help leaving the woods. It is all very frustrating to me. I dont know what i think about in terms of where he went. I just feel, at this time, he left as to avoid problems. But then again he still could have left to take his life. Maybe just farther away than the woods. I.... just... don't .... know...... I feel lead in so many different directions and i have zero answers
Here we are, just shy of 3 months, and he still has not used any electronic devices. He has not made any contact with anyone to my knowledge. His family still do not act like they care very much. Again, i dont think they are involved, its just that, he was the black sheep in a family of religious people who otherwise do their best to maintain the highest image possible.
He did follow Sovereignty stuff for awhile.. Where he believed in someones right/freedom to obtain employment without a SS card/number, Birth certificate and right to travel without a drivers license etc. So I know he has a mindset where he could and would go work for people for cash. He has the skills and ability to disappear. BUT I am just not sure how he would have been able to do so given he didnt have any known help to leave the area where his van was abandoned. Hitchhiking maybe but that isnt the same as getting to a predetermined destination. He had some money but if he couldnt find a job it wouldnt last. He left his van so where was his means of transportation or means of shelter if he didnt have help leaving the woods. It is all very frustrating to me. I dont know what i think about in terms of where he went. I just feel, at this time, he left as to avoid problems. But then again he still could have left to take his life. Maybe just farther away than the woods. I.... just... don't .... know...... I feel lead in so many different directions and i have zero answers
oh I should also add, he had talked to a neighbor ... At first he talked to the neighbor about taking his life. Neighbor told him he was talking stupid. But neighbor told him that after his divorce he left the area for awhile and went to Texas and Arizona for awhile. But that he did so with people knowing where he was and he wasnt under the radar or anything. He said James would then ask him questions like "Where would you go if you were me??" meaning to start over. So he did verbalize that to one person... and best that i know, only one person. I am taking his word on this because James never verbalized to me that he would try starting over. His conversations to me was always about taking his life. Same neighbor claimed that James messaged him asking him for advice. I dont see evidence of that in his phone logs. So I dont know... I dont know if this is true or not because i cannot verify the story. But I share it because it is a possible alternative to suicide
This is the last page of his phone logs. YOu can see where he contacted someone that morning. This is what you all might be able to help me with. What would make the number come across as N/A?? He was communicating with SOMEONE... He was in his bed alone the night before. He had pretended he was sleeping. I was at the campfire with my kids including my oldest with her boyfriend. He didnt join because he didnt like the boyfriend. I must have came in around midnight and I remember him "sleeping" when I got in..
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Blondie in Spokane
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Amanda - thanks for all the info. I need to re-read your posts to get a better idea of the situation but my first couple thoughts were:
What has local LE said recently?
Have you considered hiring a PI to help track James down?
What has local LE said recently?
Have you considered hiring a PI to help track James down?
AzPistonsGirl
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wow, thank you for sharing - I hope it brings YOU some comfort to be able to pour out your thoughts like that too. Based on everything you have said, it still seems like there are several scenarios that may have played out. I can not imagine how you go on without knowing, but that is what we have to do in life. I hope that you have taken time for yourself in all of this and imagine you feel a lot of different things from compassion to anger. I echo Blondie in curiosity about what LE might be saying at this point and if you are in a position to hire a PI.
The rationale side of me wants to offer the suggestion to really consider what life would look like if you just wrote him off at this point vs. continuing to search and find out what happened. If you feel like you can not live your life not knowing what happened, then you have to do everything you can for your own sanity to keep up the "search." If you know deep in your heart that you would eventually be able to accept that you may never know, then it might be time to start rebuilding and living your life for you.
This is all just my opinion, of course. But perhaps it is good to hear from others like this... There are myriad of resources available here when someone goes missing. Does another poster know where exactly that post is so we can direct Amanda to it? It has phone numbers and a list of organizations to reach out to, and things that someone might want to do in this situation.
Sounds like yes, he has either taken his own life (many people are never found), or is living off the grid (in which case he may someday decide to return). If he has taken up with someone else (whomever he was allegedly texting) and is living blissfully elsewhere, then someone can find him.
The rationale side of me wants to offer the suggestion to really consider what life would look like if you just wrote him off at this point vs. continuing to search and find out what happened. If you feel like you can not live your life not knowing what happened, then you have to do everything you can for your own sanity to keep up the "search." If you know deep in your heart that you would eventually be able to accept that you may never know, then it might be time to start rebuilding and living your life for you.
This is all just my opinion, of course. But perhaps it is good to hear from others like this... There are myriad of resources available here when someone goes missing. Does another poster know where exactly that post is so we can direct Amanda to it? It has phone numbers and a list of organizations to reach out to, and things that someone might want to do in this situation.
Sounds like yes, he has either taken his own life (many people are never found), or is living off the grid (in which case he may someday decide to return). If he has taken up with someone else (whomever he was allegedly texting) and is living blissfully elsewhere, then someone can find him.
Blondie in Spokane
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Amanda.....here is the link to Websleuths Mising Persons Resources Azpistonsgirl mentioned above which was a good thought....there's a lot of good info there.
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?550-Missing-Persons-Resources
http://www.websleuths.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?550-Missing-Persons-Resources
The detective on the case has told me that he will not be doing anything further until he has a lead... He has done all he could and came up completely empty handed. I have no money for a PI or else I would.
I have been asking me this question. Of course I wouldnt have to ask myself if it wasnt for the fact he was our sole income winner. My oldest child has since moved out but I am still left caring for 7 minors. On the personal level, as a friend, I wish I knew he was okay. If he took his life I wish I could bring him "home" to the local cemetery so the children could visit him. If he is alive, Oh i dont know what I really want there. I mean I do not want custody/visitation and I like having the kids have a stable home. But at the same time I believe they deserve to know what happened to their Dad and why. So THEY need to know... If i knew he was okay, i would be fine never seeing him again in this life. But, my kids.. I hope they have that option
Moxie Vi
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I feel for you and don't envy the position that you are in. It must be heartbreaking to see your children go through this. I don't often comment but wanted you to know that there are those of us that read and offer our silent support.
I'll read the details in the next few days and see if any ideas come to mind.
I hope for the best for you and yours.
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LisaWL7TR
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I read earlier where you said he had talked about suicide up until the last 2 or 3 weeks.
From my training when someone stops talking about suicide it usually means they have a plan. The plan usually involves suicide but I am not sure if this was his plan. Apart from being alive somewhere I do wonder if he had a suicide pact with someone.
I'm sorry you don't have the support of his family. I do understand. You are in my thoughts...and yall's children do need answers!
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From my training when someone stops talking about suicide it usually means they have a plan. The plan usually involves suicide but I am not sure if this was his plan. Apart from being alive somewhere I do wonder if he had a suicide pact with someone.
I'm sorry you don't have the support of his family. I do understand. You are in my thoughts...and yall's children do need answers!
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Elainera
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Hi Amanda! I'm sorry you and your children find yourself in such a confusing and difficult situation! I'm not sure if I can be of any help, but I want to share that while reading your posts I find myself leaning more towards the run away scenario. He seems extremely torn as you describe him - he clearly wanted to leave but felt very guilty about it - hence all the talk about suicide (better dead than living with the overwhelming guilt of having left his family). But from the suicide cases I followed here on WS I got the impression that people who want to end it all don't talk about it much, if at all, and not in this way as James did, like a threat. Rather, family members are often completely taken by surprise when a suicide happened - they had no clue that person was suffering so much. With James it seems to have been different, he doesn't feel suicidal to me, more like a desperate, caged tiger who wanted to break free.
He probably secretly hoped that you would in fact leave him, that way he wouldn't have to make this hard decision. So he probed you and suggested it over and over, and hoped you would agree. That way he could blame you instead of himself to break up the family.
All this might not have been very clear to him, more like his half-conscious wish to leave was steering him.
Plus, I think he was texting with someone who encouraged him to go through with leaving you all, and that person probably also helped him after he abandoned his van (and might still help him). Have other tire tracks been observed in the vicinity of his van? The scene at the van and surrounding area seems staged to me. Scattered bullets, some things taken with him, others not, I don't know ... it sounds to me like someone thought this would be how a suicidal person would leave things behind. I think he wants you to think he killed himself, but I don't believe this is what happened. If you believe he's dead you won't look for him, is his hope.
I might be completely wrong with all this, but anyway, those were my thoughts when I read your story. If he makes contact one day it'll probably be with one of the children rather than with you imo.
Have you gone through his computer, did the detective? Is his SSN being monitored?
He probably secretly hoped that you would in fact leave him, that way he wouldn't have to make this hard decision. So he probed you and suggested it over and over, and hoped you would agree. That way he could blame you instead of himself to break up the family.
All this might not have been very clear to him, more like his half-conscious wish to leave was steering him.
Plus, I think he was texting with someone who encouraged him to go through with leaving you all, and that person probably also helped him after he abandoned his van (and might still help him). Have other tire tracks been observed in the vicinity of his van? The scene at the van and surrounding area seems staged to me. Scattered bullets, some things taken with him, others not, I don't know ... it sounds to me like someone thought this would be how a suicidal person would leave things behind. I think he wants you to think he killed himself, but I don't believe this is what happened. If you believe he's dead you won't look for him, is his hope.
I might be completely wrong with all this, but anyway, those were my thoughts when I read your story. If he makes contact one day it'll probably be with one of the children rather than with you imo.
Have you gone through his computer, did the detective? Is his SSN being monitored?
True North
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I too was wondering about computer records. Emails. Types of sites he visited. If you found screen names and could do searches on those.
Also you mentioned you felt he may be running away from legal issues. Would any of those issues involve people he could turn to or that may hide him or have means of assisting him with a new identity?
Also you mentioned you felt he may be running away from legal issues. Would any of those issues involve people he could turn to or that may hide him or have means of assisting him with a new identity?
Gardener1850
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[h=1]Family of missing man in Oceana County hope for Christmas cards[/h]
Read more here: http://fox17online.com/2016/11/20/family-of-missing-man-in-oceana-county-hope-for-christmas-cards/
jellybean96
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I am curious about what legal issues he was having.
Was what he was facing something that a local warrant would be issued for or something that would flag any LE across the country if they stopped him. Was he looking at jail time or just a fine?
Was what he was facing something that a local warrant would be issued for or something that would flag any LE across the country if they stopped him. Was he looking at jail time or just a fine?
