MO MO - Betty Alexander, 69, Sullivan, 11 April 2019

RSBM for focus.

Great post, Midmissourimom. You make many good points.

I was barely online over the weekend (my son had a soccer tournament four hours away) and haven’t looked at the FB page yet either, so if the following doesn’t make much sense, my apologies in advance.

I have wondered for some time, who all knew that Betty was going to be home alone this particular weekend.

I also find it rather unusual that they discontinued the ground search barely 24 hours after Betty was reported reported missing:

Apr 15
“Missing person update..according to Sullivan Fire and Sullivan Police the ground search for missing Sullivan resident Betty Alexander is being wrapped up at this time. Sullivan Fire is turning the search over to Sullivan Police. Sullivan Police will continue to work the investigation as a missing person. According to Sullivan Police Lt. Patrick Johnson they appreciate all the volunteers and other agencies who have assisted Sunday and Monday including search K-9’s. Authorities have not located any signs of Alexander at this time and asked Sullivan Independent News to provide this update. The public is still encouraged to forward any information regarding Alexander to them at 573-468-8001.”
Sullivan Independent News

 

Thank you

I am local and just feel that there are so many people that want to get more involved but are afraid to ask questions. Part of solving any case us brainstorming and people seem to be supportive but walking on eggshells with the conversation part online.

Betty did not just vanish into thin air. Her neighborhood is near a school and is not unsafe.

If she was abducted I find it unusual that not one person in the area seen her get in a car, walk down the street, get robbed, carried out, ect.

There are too many eyes watching. There is always one "Gladys Kravitz" in the neighborhood. (From the old bewitched show). Someone that sees and knows everything about every neighbor. I would definitely notice something unusual if she was my neighbor. The fire station is not even visable from her apartment area. I read that there was a witness that said she was looking at it. Its quite a walk from the apartments.

If that is true and she was seen by it, then she must be a walker and get out more than most think. To be more exact is is a full block away and over 800 feet. It is a small apartment complex that is income based and houses Senior Citizens and disabled citizens.

Meals on wheels is Monday through Friday, when her daughter arrived Sunday she let herself in and touched her milk to see if it was cold. Since Betty had never been home on a weekend alone since December it is hard to predict why a 2 day old meals on wheels meal would still be there. In my opinion that shows that it was still there since Friday.

Was any of it touched or eaten? If not then Betty must have been missing before the meal was left, as the Meals on wheels worker said the door was ajar and they entered and left the meal. The apartments have screen doors. It is not unusual to have the main door open and just the screen door closed to look out.

Only a familar worker would be comfortable enough to enter and leave the meal. In my opinion.

The golf course lake area has been searched. In order for Betty to get from her apartment to that area she would have had to walk past more than 100 homes for almost a mile down multiple streets.

If she took her meds Wednesday night at 7pm and had a confirmed med delivery that day then the disappearance timeline is estimated after 7pm and and before early friday morning. That is listed in every press release I have read.

So it was dark and overnight. The door was open for meals on wheels Friday. Her glasses were there, so assuming she left at night and cannot see without glasses that would almost be impossible, let alone walking half a mile to woods or almost a mile to a golf course.

I cannot go to my mailbox without my glasses and am a few years younger than Betty. I wear them morning to night.

So, just assuming there was a break in, which no evidence of a broken door has been reported then it had to be a time of day she would have had her door unlocked, felt the need not to wear her glasses (typically bedtime) and was still dressed enough to leave with someone without a neighbor hearing or seeing anything.

I may be too old to physically search but am doing my best to put the pieces together that may help.

I would really like to know why noone checked on her after not answering the phone for 2 days knowing she was alone with no meals for a weekend.

Sorry for the long post. I am just hoping and praying it helps in some way to keep her case active and for law enforcement to stay actively involved.

 

Correction: in my previous post I said Wednesday and meant Thursday for the 7pm meds. Also I forgot to include that she may be wearing black slipon closed toe shoes and a black fleece jacket. Is that press statement confirming those items were missing from the home? After the police investigation there were no other reports of any missing items that I could find.

Thank you

 

Just curious, among the streets and businesses there was no camera or video shots that tracked movement. Maybe from fire dept. , walgreens, etc.

 

To my knowledge there has been no video footage found showing her out of her apartment anywhere.

In my opinion due to the recent discussion about the apartment locks being changed and Bettys things taken, I think law enforcement should ping every family members phone the 14 hour window that is open when she went missing.

Just for the record, I have posted prayers on the FB page and they remain. Any post I have made with any questions are deleted within an hour.

The most recent being:
Daighter- The son's took personal belongings and had tbe locks changed.

Commenter: Maybe they are involved and moved her to a nursing home

Me: I do not believe they would move her and leave her glasses behind, she cannot see without them.

One hour later deleted and only prayers and well wishes remain.

The community needs to keep praying but start having real conversations about this. I have never seen that happen on a missing persons page.

I am not throwing accusations but I have worked enough cases to know its all a little unusual, again in my opion.

 

I have read the threads, and assorted information. I do agree with the above statement, for the case is strange. In my opinion three things have happened..
1. person wandered off and is no longer with us/ surviving by chance.
2. the person was abducted by unknown predator. (local or distant)
3. the person was abducted by family and keeping it quite.
For an elder with a mental illness to roam long distance, the facts seems odd, not impossible but odd. Possible predator that hijacked a 60 year old... for what purpose?? robbery, pure malicious intent, revenge or perhaps entitlement. Do let me know if I step over bounds, I'm not pointing fingers, just thing the first two options seem off, could be not enough info. Anyways thanks for listening .

 

Beamissouri I agree.

It's all a little off. You are right, those 3 options are all there are really.

I am not really believing she was moved by part of the family without half of them not knowing. I worked in nursing for 20+ years with all stages of dementia patients and would have leaned towards that until the confirmation was made that it was early and that she mostly just forgot names.

She was able to live alone without a caregiver. Her meds were not a make or break situation with her diagnosis or she would have not been left alone for 2+ days with no visits from any family member. It did not even raise a huge red flag when she didn't answer phone calls. So I believe that is all very odd. Again, just my opinion.

 

So I'm laying here thinking, is the missing person still in control of the finances or someone else.

 

I have not seen a post or news story that has information about the finances. Has anyone else here seen a post about Betty's finances?

Did she pay her own bills?
Have her own bank account?

 

I hate to say this but has anyone thought of self harm?
She lost her husband in Dec and is experiencing a decline in her health....
I would think if that was the case, she would have turned up by now though...

 

Betty is 69, diagnosed with dementia and takes medications. She does not drive, qualified for meals on wheels, husband recently passed in the last 6 months and she has lost weight. Her shoes, glasses and such were found at home with the door open.Her family had not been in contact with her for a few? days.

When was she last seen? When was the last time family spoke with her?

I think this is likely a situation where Betty wandered off. Whether it was her dementia or a possibly acquired urinary tract infection which caused delirium, which is common in the older age groups, I think she had increased confusion and walked off.

I think she got lost and eventually got weak. She could have walked miles even without her shoes or her glasses, IMO.

Are there forests, fields, or bodies of water nearby?

* I think her age, diagnosis, lack of hydration and nutrition, someone not there to key in on what could've started as subtle changes put her at increased risk.

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-things-you-should-know-about-utis-in-older-adults/

MOO

 

Family dynamics are tough and are only exasperated in times like these. There are always a few different sides to the story and the truth lies some where in between. I think it is likely the family had been fractured. Dad had recently passed, Mom has dementia....it can be tough navigating all that even with family that are considered close and connected.

I don't think the brothers actions were for material things. I wonder what each sibling's role has been over the decades and then more recently with their father passing.... POA, lawyers, estate settlement, planning, and taxes, bank accounts, funeral arrangements, moving Mom...etc.

MOO and speculation.

 

There is a state park with a river nearby. Probably 3 to 5 miles to the river. I still think it's odd that even with a delirium state of mind, betty could have made it with out help. Not impossible though. Even though the glasses were left and shoes, etc. Doesn't mean she didn't have anything on. The open door suggests nothing really, to many variables. But there is a train track near by, so make a person wonder about suicide and dragged by train? In my line of work, families know more than they tell wether good or bad.

 

Respectfully snipped for brevity

Just thinking... who closed her door, has anyone come forward?

Would the door automatically lock when closed or would someone manually have to do that?

Could the weather have potentially blew it shut such as wind/rain?

I checked out the weather almanac. I'm posting high and low temp for the day and rain amount:

April 12 ( door ajar)

62°
/ 39°
Fair
0 in of rain

April 13

57°
/ 41°
Mostly Cloudy
0.62 in of rain

April 14 ( door found closed and locked)

48°
/ 34°
Mostly Cloudy
0.41 in of rain

Sullivan, MO Monthly Weather Forecast - weather.com

MOO

 

Wasn't it the other siblings that came and changed the locks that would be the explanation for the door found closed and locked on the 14th?

 

Thanks for the landmarks, Bea.

I wonder what Betty's habits were over the years, did she like to walk that state park? Did she feed the ducks there or like to go watch the water? Any other landmarks she liked to visit or previously worked at that were close by?
Where was the home that her and her late husband shared?

I don't think 3-5 miles is that far. I had a loved one with early onset of dementia (60's and staying with family permanently at that point) that walked out of the house at 0330 and walked 5 miles across town to a gas station... to buy cigarettes. She had quit smoking a decade prior. It was cold weather, she was without a wallet, and coat. A concerned trucker that was at the gas station and had a brief but effective conversation with her was able to get some key details and called our family member to notify them by googling their name to get the phone number (WOW, what a sleuth!) And when family went to pick her up, she was w i r e d. All new behaviors, up to that point anyway.

The Mysteries of Dementia-Driven Wandering

I included a link below that share three brief stories of wanderers in Maine: all elderly, all in advanced stages of dementia. One lives, one dies, one mysteriously disappears. The article is from 2009 and those stats have increased since but still felt it was interesting and telling.

From the article:

"Dementia-driven wandering can seem random to others, but according to the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, it can be the result of boredom, curiosity or just a general desire to get up and go.

"Wandering is a behavior that happens mainly as a result of declining cognitive skills," says Beth Kallmyer, director of family and information services at the Alzheimer's Association in Chicago. "The loss of memory impacts their ability to discern where they are."

Today, more than 5 million Americans suffer from Alzheimer's disease. That number is expected to grow to 20 million in the coming years, according to researchers at George Mason University. Though there is no way to be certain, the Alzheimer's Association estimates that some 60 percent of those with the disease will wander at some point.

Scientists are also not sure why dementia often leads to roaming. But there is this sobering statistic from the Alzheimer's Association: About 50 percent of people who wander will suffer serious injury or death if they are not found within 24 hours."

Understanding Dementia And 'Wandering'

MOO

 

Per @inmyhumbleopinion 's post April 12th - door found ajar, April 14th was when the door was discovered to be closed.

May 17 post on Bring Betty Home details the siblings going in and moving Betty's items and changing the locks.

MOO

 

I have not dealt with dementia issues much (counting my blessings)... but would someone with dementia have to be reminded to put on their glasses? As a person who wore glasses most of my life... it was the first thing I did, once my eyes were open in the morning. The only time they were off was when I went to sleep. I cannot imagine her going anywhere without them. Or, was her sight not so bad and she mainly used them for reading? Would she answer the door without them on? Sorry the glasses and shoes thing has me fixated.

I know taking care of a sick loved one really takes its toll on that person and their family. Not that I can imagine it, but I am sure some have gotten so overwhelmed and greedy they may speed up the process of some diseases and such??? As we have seen here on WS.

 

Dementia and Alzheimer's are complex diseases. There are progression stages where some behaviors can be expected and some are solely unique to the individual.

The Seven Stages Of Dementia

Working in the medical field, I have seen anything and everything. What one is adamant on one day, can be the complete opposite the next. It is an absolutely heartbreaking disease. I have deep compassion and empathy for ones that are going through it and for the family members as well.

MOO

 

It would be so amazingly wonderful to hear of a good outcome for Betty.

Although the chances of Betty being located and safe may be lessened by each day, there is still a bit of hope. There is always hope.