"It could be about this 'case' specifically or the broader issue of teenage struggles and the pressures felt. What do we as parents need to hear from them (I've asked myself this question a lot lately — what was he trying to say that I didn't hear)?"
From the
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My son is 15 and I ask myself something similar all the time: what is he trying to tell me?
For my family, it's more of a challenge because my son is high functioning autistic, where communication is already strained because of his diagnosis. Couple this with being a teen, and I struggle with this. Since he's our one and only, we don't have any experience with raising teens, we have a difficult time figuring out if it is his age or diagnosis talking/not talking. I can usually tell when he's struggling to communicate, he either gets frustrated and won't talk, and lately, he quacks. That doesn't help me understand what he is trying to say, only clues me in that he's having difficulty saying it.
I know where the break down is between him and his father when I'm a fly on the wall, listening. My husband talks over him so he drowns out my son's response and at time it appears he's talking to hear himself talk. So, when my son answers, my husband just keeps flapping his gums as if he didn't. I've pointed it out to him several times - Dude, you can't hear with your mouth open. Shut up once in a while. This isn't solely with arguments, either. It's any discussion they have, even about girls and joking around. My husband doesn't listen, even though he thinks he is.
When my son and I talk, I listen but don't understand. I think I'm just plain old dense. I don't get what he's trying to tell me, like the time he was 4 and said he liked a girl with antennas. I thought he was referring to a cartoon character in a show he liked, but no, my friend told me the girl had pigtails. She was right. I was like, how come that didn't click in my head?
So, I want to assure TK's father they are not alone when it comes to communicating with a teen. Though not the same, I imagine having a precocious, clever teen has it's own challenges, too.