OneLostGrl
I'm going against the grain- I'm going sane
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2004
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southcitymom said:I don't have super strong feelings about this if it works for some parents, but it's not my style. Of course, I'm also a parent that doesn't really care what grades my kids get. I want my kids to focus on and discover what their purpose is. The journey to that knowledge is peppered, I suspect, with all types of grades - good and bad.
I'd rather them be the best behaved kids in their class or the kindest kids in their class or the most resourceful kids in their class than the kids who get straight As. Grades in and of themselves don't mean too much to me, so I would have a hard time rewarding for them.
I also don't attach allowance to chores. I want my kids to help out around the household because that's what families do and because there is intrinsic value in that. I give allowance to teach money management, a separate issue to me.
That said, I am not above bribery as a tool of parenting...I just don't use it in this area.
I agree with a lot of what you said. Although my (bio) son is basically an A-B student he does not get in trouble for bringing home a C or even a D or F as long as he honestly *tried*... give it your all is all we ask of them!
AJ (foster child) is another story and because of the life he lived before he came to us, we deal with school differently with him. We were so very proud that he PASSED this year!
My kids school recognizes and rewards good behavior. They have "Behavior honor roll" and get to be the first in the lunch line... are given "excuses" from homework and are allowed to "skip" a class and replace it with another one of your classes you'd rather attend. (My son LOVES this one - he always chooses Orchestra).
I think it's important to reward kids for good behavior!