Ron's Incident With The Gun Spark Investigation was opened by DCF.

[Flossie JMO]

the emotions heard during a 911 call regarding a child who is missing tends to be that of fear and a deep sense of pain not that of anger that involves verbal abuse toward the person reporting the call nor threats of dealing with this on his own. That's the difference

Novice Seeker

We can agree to disagree. I think his reaction was completely normal

 

[kiki the parrot]

The standard, oft used "Judge not," has frequently been misconstrued as sort of a blanket statement in order to squelch any kind of moral standard or wisdom we might glean in life lol and misused to imply we should make no moral judgments. This was never it's intent. We can "love our enemies" while still judging their actions as wrong, recognizing abusive patterns, learning to protect ourselves, and holding them accountable in society--which is in fact the most loving thing to do.

While no two people will share every exact trait in the same proportions, there are easily recognizable, readily observable, and well researched and documented behavioral patterns and characteristics of abusive people:

• Does your partner often seem irritated or angry with you, although you never meant to upset them? You feel confused each time.

• Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by their responses because you can't get them to understand your intentions?

• Does your partner act jealous or possessive of you? Do they accuse you of having affairs or paying too much attention to others?

• Does your partner make you feel like you are mostly wrong and they are always right?

• Does your partner seem angry and has "no idea of what you are talking about" when you try to discuss an issue?

• Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells? Do you feel like you have to be especially careful to avoid conflicts?

• Does your partner call you bad names and put you down?

• Does your partner look at you or act in a way that scares you?

• Does your partner control what you do, who you see or talk to, where you go?

• Does your partner deter you from relationships with your friends or family?

• Does your partner control the money, withhold financial information, take your money, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?

• Does your partner define your feelings, opinions, needs, or wants?

• Has your partner attempted or forced you to have sex against your will?

• Has your partner used religion to persuade you to do what they want? Have they used scripture to condemn or control you?

• Does your partner tell you you're a bad parent and/or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

• Does your partner act like the abuse is no big deal, or it's all your fault, or even deny doing it?

• Has your partner followed you, shown up uninvited or wouldn't leave when asked? Have they gone through your things, mail, or checked voice or e-mail messages?

• Has your partner destroyed property? (hit, kicked doors, walls, furniture, thrown items, destroyed the phone or pulled the phone cord from the wall etc)

• Has your partner threatened to harm, harmed or killed family pets or other animals to frighten or intimidate?

• Does you partner intimidate or threaten to harm with guns, knives, or other weapons?

• Does your partner shove, slap, pinch, kick, and/or hit you?

• Has your partner convinced or manipulated you to drop a restraining order and/or charges?

• Has your partner threatened to commit suicide?

• Has your partner threatened to kill you?

Those who wish to may feel free to discard. These principles and warning signs are strictly for those who wanna be able to see crazy comin, and cross the street.

http://www.armsonline.org/test.htm

arrot:

 

[KOOL LOOK]

the emotions heard during a 911 call regarding a child who is missing tends to be that of fear and a deep sense of pain not that of anger that involves verbal abuse toward the person reporting the call nor threats of dealing with this on his own. That's the difference

Novice Seeker

you weren't talking to me. I have to interject something. Things are different when child custody issues have been disputed, and effects the home. To my understanding, Crystal's Father, Marty Johnny Sheffield claimed Ron stole Haleigh from him and his wife Connie sheffield. So evidentally these families had controversy between them concerning these children.

We see very often, almost everytime when very young children are involved. Knowing the family before the disappearnce, things said by the main immediately family members, then now one can understand Ron's statements. He's had to defend his right in a court of law to have custody of his children, and apparently fought a non biological parent to retain custody and a relationship with his very own children. So this changes my outlook as to what ron said, and how he acted in the first moments of learning Haleigh was gone.

 

[TxLady2]

I don't think we can dictate what emotions one might feel when their child is abducted unless we has been in their shoes. Thank God I have not but I can see myself reacting w/ anger, even rage towards the person that "let my daughter get stoled."

I might react with anger towards that person, too... but I sure wouldn't turn around and marry them a month later.
Ron's anger at Misty might have been justified... but not at the 911 operator, or the LE for not showing up immediately. That was over the top, IMO. He was 25 years old at the time, he certainly knew and understood it would take them a few minutes to get there.

 

[curvecuti]

The standard, oft used "Judge not," has frequently been misconstrued as sort of a blanket statement in order to squelch any kind of moral standard or wisdom we might glean in life lol and misused to imply we should make no moral judgments. This was never it's intent. We can "love our enemies" while still judging their actions as wrong, recognizing abusive patterns, learning to protect ourselves, and holding them accountable in society--which is in fact the most loving thing to do.

While no two people will share every exact trait in the same proportions, there are easily recognizable, readily observable, and well researched and documented behavioral patterns and characteristics of abusive people:

• Does your partner often seem irritated or angry with you, although you never meant to upset them? You feel confused each time.

• Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by their responses because you can't get them to understand your intentions?

• Does your partner act jealous or possessive of you? Do they accuse you of having affairs or paying too much attention to others?

• Does your partner make you feel like you are mostly wrong and they are always right?

• Does your partner seem angry and has "no idea of what you are talking about" when you try to discuss an issue?

• Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells? Do you feel like you have to be especially careful to avoid conflicts?

• Does your partner call you bad names and put you down?

• Does your partner look at you or act in a way that scares you?

• Does your partner control what you do, who you see or talk to, where you go?

• Does your partner deter you from relationships with your friends or family?

• Does your partner control the money, withhold financial information, take your money, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?

• Does your partner define your feelings, opinions, needs, or wants?

• Has your partner attempted or forced you to have sex against your will?

• Has your partner used religion to persuade you to do what they want? Have they used scripture to condemn or control you?

• Does your partner tell you you're a bad parent and/or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

• Does your partner act like the abuse is no big deal, or it's all your fault, or even deny doing it?

• Has your partner followed you, shown up uninvited or wouldn't leave when asked? Have they gone through your things, mail, or checked voice or e-mail messages?

• Has your partner destroyed property? (hit, kicked doors, walls, furniture, thrown items, destroyed the phone or pulled the phone cord from the wall etc)

• Has your partner threatened to harm, harmed or killed family pets or other animals to frighten or intimidate?

• Does you partner intimidate or threaten to harm with guns, knives, or other weapons?

• Does your partner shove, slap, pinch, kick, and/or hit you?

• Has your partner convinced or manipulated you to drop a restraining order and/or charges?

• Has your partner threatened to commit suicide?

• Has your partner threatened to kill you?

Those who wish to may feel free to discard. These principles and warning signs are strictly for those who wanna be able to see crazy comin, and cross the street.

http://www.armsonline.org/test.htm

arrot:

Thanks Kiki, I have been in abusive relationship, those who haven't can sit back spew statistics all day, I've lived it. I don't need help to recognize it, nor do I need to be right so badly that I judge another person, that I don't know, by things listed on an internet site. But by all means if that helps the justification of how Ron is crucified daily, it will be cited, over and over and over. :banghead:

 

[curvecuti]

I might react with anger towards that person, too... but I sure wouldn't turn around and marry them a month later.
Ron's anger at Misty might have been justified... but not at the 911 operator, or the LE for not showing up immediately. That was over the top, IMO. He was 25 years old at the time, he certainly knew and understood it would take them a few minutes to get there.

I'm glad you know how you would react in that situation, I don't and hope I never have to find out. There's probably no end to the crazy things I'd be capable of if my daughter was abducted. And when you are waiting for someone, to arrive in an emergency, albeit LE or EMS, it seems to take an eternity. In fact it is part of EMD and EOC training to deal w/ people who feel it's taking too long to get there. Trust me, Ron Cummings is not the first nor will he be the last to cuss out a dispatcher, it happens hourly.

 

[kamky]

I might react with anger towards that person, too... but I sure wouldn't turn around and marry them a month later.
Ron's anger at Misty might have been justified... but not at the 911 operator, or the LE for not showing up immediately. That was over the top, IMO. He was 25 years old at the time, he certainly knew and understood it would take them a few minutes to get there.

But, people don't act rationally when they are in a panic, Txlady2. Nor is everyone's acting in panic the same. Some cry and wail, some cuss, some make threats, some don't listen to anything anyone is saying, and some go into a catonic state and act calm as could be. It is not unusual for people to freak out and be unable to grasp the fact that help will not be instantaneous.

 

[kiki the parrot]

I'm glad you know how you would react in that situation, I don't and hope I never have to find out. There's probably no end to the crazy things I'd be capable of if my daughter was abducted. And when you are waiting for someone, to arrive in an emergency, albeit LE or EMS, it seems to take an eternity. In fact it is part of EMD and EOC training to deal w/ people who feel it's taking too long to get there. Trust me, Ron Cummings is not the first nor will he be the last to cuss out a dispatcher, it happens hourly.

Yes I know I worked a crisis hotline for which EMT's had to be dispatched. And that is hardly the only red flag lol, if you don't want to read the countless posts in which the other various reasons are cited over and over for the concern people share then you could begin by taking note of the classic telltale signs bolded in my own post which you quoted. :waitasec: JMO

arrot:

 

[curvecuti]

Yes I know I worked a crisis hotline for which EMT's had to be dispatched. And that is hardly the only red flag lol, if you don't want to read the countless posts in which the other various reasons are cited over and over for the concern people share then you could begin by taking note of the classic telltale signs bolded in my own post which you quoted. :waitasec: JMO

arrot:

Um, ok, I guess I'm gonna pass 'cause I can't make heads nor tails of that post after the first sentence, nor do I know why you bolded that part of your previous post.

But working a crisis hotline and working at a 911 call center are worlds apart. :waitasec:

 

[debs]

We sure know that the officer who went back to pick Ronald up was aware of Ronald's history with guns. Says it all for me the caution that was taken there. Oh yes. I'm sure that caution is applied to everyone with guns. It's probably especially noted in those who threaten to kill people, even as they (might) sit in a squad car.

 

[kiki the parrot]

Thanks Kiki, I have been in abusive relationship, those who haven't can sit back spew statistics all day, I've lived it. I don't need help to recognize it, nor do I need to be right so badly that I judge another person, that I don't know, by things listed on an internet site. But by all means if that helps the justification of how Ron is crucified daily, it will be cited, over and over and over. :banghead:

(bbm) I don't doubt for a minute you endured abuse. And if we come out of it w any the wiser for it, w better skills and tools for living, then we can speak w authority on the subject and possibly even help prevent abuse in someone else's life. I haven't "spewn stats," I'm simply sharing what are known to be common traits of abusers (as this was being discussed) or if it may otherwise be of benefit--the hard-earned wisdom and principles that can't be bought for anything but tears. You know nothing re my life nor of the reasons I had for becoming involved in this cause nor have you inquired.

Suffice to say I devoted a good deal of my energies since then not only to rebuilding my own life, understanding and breaking the cycle, but to assisting others by helping them to recognize the patterns and risk factors to avoid the tragedy I was fortunate to have survived. Trust me, those who do, are willing to grow, and go on to dedicate themselves to this heartfelt cause have lived thru a little sumthin too. It's clear you're not ready to hear or understand though as you're obviously convinced you know more than me and all the other formerly battered women from whom I've learned--not to mention the endless abuse victims interviewed in research, many former victims of abuse who overcame their pasts to become founders of DV organizations also entirely supported, staffed and volunteered by formerly abused women and the collective body of knowledge representing 20 years of study on the abuse of women and children--combined.

We have arrests, witness accounts and police reports to substantiate the concerns re Haleigh's father, not merely "things listed on an internet site." We have far more indicators that Haleigh's father is prone to violence than that Misty has an LD yet we have a threadful of armchair diagnoses shared, running the whole spectrum, which may have no bearing on this case. But if I wasn't already, let me be perfectly clear here. My cause is not defending Ronald. Besides advocating for women, I advocate for children. And my cause is unashamedly and unapologetically examining and identifying w/e risk factors existed in the life of another precious little girl who vanished w/out a trace and, Lord willing, sparing her little brother a similar fate..

Praying for Haleigh to be found, Junior to be safe and sound.
:rose:​

raying:
arrot:

 

[kiki the parrot]

Um, ok, I guess I'm gonna pass 'cause I can't make heads nor tails of that post after the first sentence, nor do I know why you bolded that part of your previous post.

But working a crisis hotline and working at a 911 call center are worlds apart. :waitasec:

You know. The bolded parts where it refers to threatening to harm w guns or other weapons eg, harming animals etc, those bolded parts. And I do of course realize the crisis hotline I worked, and 911 I had to call, are different my point was I'm aware of how people behave under duress. And as you further know, that concerns were not limited to this as these threads are chockful of other warning signs and reasons that form the basis for concern re Ron's violence. If you don't share or choose to ignore those, that's your right but your argument isn't with me. The overwhelming and legitimate concerns voiced by many here are (IMO and the opinon of experts) well-founded. And they are raised in hopes Haleigh's fate may one day be learned, and Junior have a happier outcome than his sissy.

arrot:

 

[PorcineGranny]

I'm going to throw a ball in here, most will not understand. If a person has ADHD/ADD, you might be surprised to find out that they are academy award winning actors. Sounds strange and unbeliveable, but its true. Course no one has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Just a thought to share.

And remember , there is none so blind as he who will not see.

 

[kiki the parrot]

We sure know that the officer who went back to pick Ronald up was aware of Ronald's history with guns. Says it all for me the caution that was taken there. Oh yes. I'm sure that caution is applied to everyone with guns. It's probably especially noted in those who threaten to kill people, even as they (might) sit in a squad car.

Yep and his attorney sure didn't deny the account but rather defended it. It seems Ronald's reputation or fondness for guns both precedes, and follows him.

arrot:

 

[TxLady2]

I'm glad you know how you would react in that situation, I don't and hope I never have to find out. There's probably no end to the crazy things I'd be capable of if my daughter was abducted. And when you are waiting for someone, to arrive in an emergency, albeit LE or EMS, it seems to take an eternity. In fact it is part of EMD and EOC training to deal w/ people who feel it's taking too long to get there. Trust me, Ron Cummings is not the first nor will he be the last to cuss out a dispatcher, it happens hourly.

Maybe you misunderstood what I said. I said I might react with anger at the person who lost my child.
I know that some people do react strange on 911 calls, but not many of them threaten to shoot someone through the back of the police cruiser, and hang up 3 times, and threaten people. My opinion is that his anger and his reaction was over the top. We don't have to agree, I'm just stating what I think. Feel free to think otherwise.
I know some dispatchers here and they don't get cussed out hourly... they say it is not that common, at least where I live.

 

[curvecuti]

Maybe you misunderstood what I said. I said I might react with anger at the person who lost my child.
I know that some people do react strange on 911 calls, but not many of them threaten to shoot someone through the back of the police cruiser, and hang up 3 times, and threaten people. My opinion is that his anger and his reaction was over the top. We don't have to agree, I'm just stating what I think. Feel free to think otherwise.
I know some dispatchers here and they don't get cussed out hourly... they say it is not that common, at least where I live.

I didn't mean a certain set of 911 ops get cussed hourly, out of all the 911 call centers in the USA, someone is getting cussed hourly. It is rare to work an entire 12 hr. shift and have no one rant and rave and cuss at you. That is why these people are taught a class in dealing w/ these things. Well the 911 ops here are, I would hope they were at all centers. It takes a special person to be a 911 op. I admire them!

 

[KOOL LOOK]

I didn't mean a certain set of 911 ops get cussed hourly, out of all the 911 call centers in the USA, someone is getting cussed hourly. It is rare to work an entire 12 hr. shift and have no one rant and rave and cuss at you. That is why these people are taught a class in dealing w/ these things. Well the 911 ops here are, I would hope they were at all centers. It takes a special person to be a 911 op. I admire them!

My cousin Pamela is a 911 manager for our county next door. It's changed her so much. She was telling me about her job during Granny's passing, and I came to realize the hard job she labors in. I commend the 911 operator who took misty and ron's call, she was tops. ooh, shoot, Maury's comin on. hehehe who's your baby's daddy? stay tuned.

 

[TxLady2]

I didn't mean a certain set of 911 ops get cussed hourly, out of all the 911 call centers in the USA, someone is getting cussed hourly. It is rare to work an entire 12 hr. shift and have no one rant and rave and cuss at you. That is why these people are taught a class in dealing w/ these things. Well the 911 ops here are, I would hope they were at all centers. It takes a special person to be a 911 op. I admire them!

Unfortunately, in some places they aren't trained that well. JVM covered a case not long ago where the victim might have been saved if the 911 operator had done her job instead of thinking it was a hoax. And the same thing has happened several other times across the country. One in particular, a little boy called for help because his mom was having trouble breathing. The op thought he was playing, and told him he was in trouble. I think the mom died, because they didn't send help. Poor kid.
I've read of several cases where the 911 op was at fault, and given a few days suspension, then allowed back to work. This is deplorable!
I agree with your last statement, and I realize that most operators do a great job but this is not the case everywhere, unfortunately.

 

[amorfati]

you weren't talking to me. I have to interject something. Things are different when child custody issues have been disputed, and effects the home. To my understanding, Crystal's Father, Marty Johnny Sheffield claimed Ron stole Haleigh from him and his wife Connie sheffield. So evidentally these families had controversy between them concerning these children.

We see very often, almost everytime when very young children are involved. Knowing the family before the disappearnce, things said by the main immediately family members, then now one can understand Ron's statements. He's had to defend his right in a court of law to have custody of his children, and apparently fought a non biological parent to retain custody and a relationship with his very own children. So this changes my outlook as to what ron said, and how he acted in the first moments of learning Haleigh was gone.

I am not sure where you are getting your information. If you refer to the transcripts of the custody hearing, Marty Sheffield and his wife Connie had nothing to do with the custody of HaLeigh at any time.

 

[curvecuti]

I am not sure where you are getting your information. If you refer to the transcripts of the custody hearing, Marty Sheffield and his wife Connie had nothing to do with the custody of HaLeigh at any time.

Marty Sheffield, himself, stated that he and Connie raised Haleigh and that Ron "stole" her from them. He also stated or signed a statement for the custody hearing about what an awful person RC was and that the kids should be w/ Crystal.