ACTIVE SEARCH SD - Serenity Dennard, 9, Children’s Home Society, Pennington County, 3 Feb 2019 #3

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human said:
What kids would these be that have the ability and resources to hide a child?

Stress with child issues can lead to divorce.

Think of parents who have kidnapped children that divorce.
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They divorced a few months after the adoption. Stress does not build up in a few months time and finalize in a completed divorce in only a few months. Years sure. But you aren't flipping trying if you last only months after an adoption. I mean give me a break. You are actively planning for a divorce if it happens a few months after the adoption.

Parents and children should be in therapy together. Working together. I would even imagine normal functioning parents having one adult move out months after an adoption. Gee, if you need sleep in another bedroom. But let's face there are a lot of people who aren't trying to keep a marriage together. It's a choice to stay together. They could even have planned to divorce and stayed together for a couple of years hiding their difficulties for Serenity's sake. Normal adults can find ways to get along for children even if they are struggling to make their marriage work. But I mean unless someone is beating you you don't have to take off in just a few months. And if that person is a threat to you then you wouldn't leave your newly adopted child behind.

Sorry. I guess this is a trigger for me. But I know it's not that hard to not divorce in a few months time if you are putting any effort into it and the other parent isn't abusive and even then you don't just leave your kids with the abuser.
 
beatrixpotter said:
They divorced a few months after the adoption. Stress does not build up in a few months time and finalize in a completed divorce in only a few months. Years sure. But you aren't flipping trying if you last only months after an adoption. I mean give me a break. You are actively planning for a divorce if it happens a few months after the adoption.

Parents and children should be in therapy together. Working together. I would even imagine normal functioning parents having one adult move out months after an adoption. Gee, if you need sleep in another bedroom. But let's face there are a lot of people who aren't trying to keep a marriage together. It's a choice to stay together. They could even have planned to divorce and stayed together for a couple of years hiding their difficulties for Serenity's sake. Normal adults can find ways to get along for children even if they are struggling to make their marriage work. But I mean unless someone is beating you you don't have to take off in just a few months. And if that person is a threat to you then you wouldn't leave your newly adopted child behind.

Sorry. I guess this is a trigger for me. But I know it's not that hard to not divorce in a few months time if you are putting any effort into it and the other parent isn't abusive and even then you don't just leave your kids with the abuser.
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I sometimes wonder if just like others do with bio children if children were adopted to (ridiculously) help "save" a crumbling marriage, in which case it is even worse to have done this to these children. She talked in her video interview like she was online shopping and picked a girl for her and a boy for him (this was my impression, not what she said word for word). She seemed very superficial about most things including not knowing her history and denying reading it all, etc. I am basing this on her interview. He and his wife talk as if they have been the only parents ever and as if his new wife was the only mother she ever had which is not the case either.

I have my educated guess as to what happened at least in part but I don't need to go there.

jmo.
 
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ilovechili said:
So she could have already been in trouble for refusing to take off the boots? I had wondered that.

Students will still run without a coat as you said and I have felt that as well, if she was known to run, she was 9, it was winter and in the middle of nowhere with vast stretches of woods and hills, etc., one would think she would have had a coat, and they walked, as you said, quite a distance between buildings.

If there is one thing I have realized though, different people who work at different facilities have had different rules that are followed so they may not be the same, correct?

This place should either have children that have access to their coats or door alarms just due to its location, terrain, weather and the fact there are outbuildings and distance between them. In my opinion anyway.

Thank you for the information. I wish we had more details, it would help to understand the things that make no sense.
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Not any major trouble, imo. It would be treated more as a natural consequence where I worked if it. Where I worked, had a child change into the correct shoes, they could join in the activity then. I am not sure if it was considered an issue at BHCH because it is hearsay but it makes sense if they expected them to wear gym shoes after walking outside like I was told.

I know for our gym due to the floors, we had a rule about no wet shoes, etc. Flip flops weren't permitted because of the risk of injury. Same with heels. They could wear them but on the floor but not run around or play. The level thing at the center I worked with depended on a resident's behaviors, how well they were working on their treatment plan or moving forward with it, complied with center rules, participation in certain groups - like anger mgtm, Physical activity type groups, Love and Logic, etc.

Yes, rules vary depending on facilities. It depends on state rules, how the facility is licensed - group home, residential treatment, intensive, etc. I didn't mean to imply there rules were the same. I was just trying to explain my thought process and give examples of how we did things. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. There are a lot of common things that don't vary in places licensed the same though too.

I am not sure on the coat thing but I do feel it is likely she just didn't grab it for some reason. The doors alarms aren't common on all exits because they constantly would go off whenever someone exits - that is why we didn't have them anywhere but on the unit doors. We did have a FOB pad on the school door that lead outside though - so any residents running had to go to the main exit or use the fire exit - but that was really out of the way. Plus door alarms would just tell them which door someone opened, not stop exits and the alarms were just really loud beeps but it may deter children.

I am really surprised they don't have cameras due to the setting and location (if in fact they don't have them already.)

I really wish I had been in BHCH's building sincewould help me know if Serenity could have grabbed her coat and such. Our coat room wasn't locked. Granted our kids didn't use it, it was for the day students but it was close to the gym. So I wonder if they had a similar room. I was told about them having cubbies but wasn't told where the cubbies were. So not sure if they were kept in a locked location. I do know that if our kids ran from the school part of the building they wouldn't have had their coats because they didn't need coats to go to the school section since it was in the same building. It is so hard because they didn't wear coats around inside the building either. So I am not sure how BHCH would enforce making sure kids always had access to their coats in colder weather.

I think your suggestions have merits of course and maybe it is something that can be put in place there that can help. I don't know since I don't their set up. I know multiple buildings add to the complexity too. That is the main reason my organization wanted 1 big building.

I do hope BHCH make whatever improvements they can to keep kids as safe as possible. I know nothing is perfect but the searching inside when a witness said they saw her at the cattle guard, not calling 911 for almost 2 hours all are big issues to me.

MOO
 
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ilovechili said:
This is the one interview I have not watched and will be doing so shortly. The one question it results in is if her parents were not approved to have Serenity because of felonies, then why did they have her or why were they allowed to up to the point of her being with the other grandma for a visit (which sounds like after that she would be going back with them?)...
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That isn't explained clearly. I think the catch was that RR and Devin G (bio dad) placed Serenity with RR's parents after they both got locked up and that the state wasn't aware of that since they were not involved with Serenity yet. Once DSS /CPS were called for the welfare check and took her into their custody from Devin's mom and found that RR was in prison and Devin was in jail, the state got to approve where Serenity was placed and they didn't approve of RR's parent's felonies.

MOO
 
human said:
What kids would these be that have the ability and resources to hide a child?

Stress with child issues can lead to divorce.

Think of parents who have kidnapped children that divorce.
Click to expand...

I think Bio mom is reaching and hoping. I don't think it is common or even likely in this case, especially with how long Serenity has been missing.

I will say though that where I worked, we had day student's mom help hide a runaway in her home. It didn't last long but she lied to the police about our resident being there. We had some give our residents that ran food, shelter, money, rides, etc. Or they get the day students to reach out to the residents own friends and those friends help them. Some of the parents of other residents or of the day students aren't the most upstanding citizens and had plenty of their own issues so they make not make the same decisions others do.
 
If Serenity was picked up off the side of the road, it could be another Jayme Closs situation. Rural, remote cabin, with a less than upstanding citizen. However, with Serenity’s inclination to run, she would have to be restrained, if she is still alive.
 
misgrn said:
Not any major trouble, imo. It would be treated more as a natural consequence where I worked if it. Where I worked, had a child change into the correct shoes, they could join in the activity then. I am not sure if it was considered an issue at BHCH because it is hearsay but it makes sense if they expected them to wear gym shoes after walking outside like I was told.

I know for our gym due to the floors, we had a rule about no wet shoes, etc. Flip flops weren't permitted because of the risk of injury. Same with heels. They could wear them but on the floor but not run around or play. The level thing at the center I worked with depended on a resident's behaviors, how well they were working on their treatment plan or moving forward with it, complied with center rules, participation in certain groups - like anger mgtm, Physical activity type groups, Love and Logic, etc.

Yes, rules vary depending on facilities. It depends on state rules, how the facility is licensed - group home, residential treatment, intensive, etc. I didn't mean to imply there rules were the same. I was just trying to explain my thought process and give examples of how we did things. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. There are a lot of common things that don't vary in places licensed the same though too.

I am not sure on the coat thing but I do feel it is likely she just didn't grab it for some reason. The doors alarms aren't common on all exits because they constantly would go off whenever someone exits - that is why we didn't have them anywhere but on the unit doors. We did have a FOB pad on the school door that lead outside though - so any residents running had to go to the main exit or use the fire exit - but that was really out of the way. Plus door alarms would just tell them which door someone opened, not stop exits and the alarms were just really loud beeps but it may deter children.

I am really surprised they don't have cameras due to the setting and location (if in fact they don't have them already.)

I really wish I had been in BHCH's building sincewould help me know if Serenity could have grabbed her coat and such. Our coat room wasn't locked. Granted our kids didn't use it, it was for the day students but it was close to the gym. So I wonder if they had a similar room. I was told about them having cubbies but wasn't told where the cubbies were. So not sure if they were kept in a locked location. I do know that if our kids ran from the school part of the building they wouldn't have had their coats because they didn't need coats to go to the school section since it was in the same building. It is so hard because they didn't wear coats around inside the building either. So I am not sure how BHCH would enforce making sure kids always had access to their coats in colder weather.

I think your suggestions have merits of course and maybe it is something that can be put in place there that can help. I don't know since I don't their set up. I know multiple buildings add to the complexity too. That is the main reason my organization wanted 1 big building.

I do hope BHCH make whatever improvements they can to keep kids as safe as possible. I know nothing is perfect but the searching inside when a witness said they saw her at the cattle guard, not calling 911 for almost 2 hours all are big issues to me.

MOO
Click to expand...

I totally agree.

You were clear, you never said all places have the same rules, my post prior to this one here, was just me confirming for my own knowledge that I hard correctly and that not all places have the same rules. I was just double checking that they vary.

I guess I was just thinking if she got in even a bit of minor trouble if she was a bit upset about it is all.

I agree on the 911 thing and their location and improvements and all entirely. I wish we could get a straight answer to cameras.
 
misgrn said:
That isn't explained clearly. I think the catch was that RR and Devin G (bio dad) placed Serenity with RR's parents after they both got locked up and that the state wasn't aware of that since they were not involved with Serenity yet. Once DSS /CPS were called for the welfare check and took her into their custody from Devin's mom and found that RR was in prison and Devin was in jail, the state got to approve where Serenity was placed and they didn't approve of RR's parent's felonies.

MOO
Click to expand...

I thought of that too as the most likely possibility, that she may have been able to stay but for the call...
 
This poor child could have been thrown in the trash and burned at the landfill. I never heard of such neglect. Just pray for her, if she is alive and can be found safe.
 
Search Efforts For Serenity Dennard Continue

"The snow is melting sufficiently. We had to listen to our K9 handlers. They said until they have enough snow melt, and the terrain is clear and the temps are higher, the dogs aren't effective, so we were really driven by the K9 handlers," Thom said.

Now that the weather is cooperating, you can expect to hear about more searches in the near future.
 
Rocco said:
Search Efforts For Serenity Dennard Continue

"The snow is melting sufficiently. We had to listen to our K9 handlers. They said until they have enough snow melt, and the terrain is clear and the temps are higher, the dogs aren't effective, so we were really driven by the K9 handlers," Thom said.

Now that the weather is cooperating, you can expect to hear about more searches in the near future.
Click to expand...
Thanks, Rocco. I am glad to see them reiterate this (BBM) once again. MOO
 
misgrn said:
The details of Serenity being removed on Christmas Day are in RR, bio mom's, interview with Lynne DiSanto. She discusses that bio dad was in jail, she was in prison and her parents were caring for Serenity. She says that her parents dropped Serenity off for a Christmas Eve visit with the other grandma, bio dad's mom who has schizophrenia. Grandma went into a "schizophrenic state" and called the police saying the neighbors were coming in and rubbing lotion on them to sedate and sexually assaulting them. The next day the responding officer's supervisor called DSS/CPS for a welfare check on Serenity and found her in a diaper with marker all over her so DSS/CPS took Serenity into custody. RR says her parents were not approved to keep Serenity because they had felonies. Then RR's time got extended. She goes on with more info after that but that is the main part of how Serenity ended up in state custody. More at:

Click to expand...
One of the saddest stories I’ve heard. We have to do better than this!
 
beatrixpotter said:
They divorced a few months after the adoption. Stress does not build up in a few months time and finalize in a completed divorce in only a few months. Years sure. But you aren't flipping trying if you last only months after an adoption. I mean give me a break. You are actively planning for a divorce if it happens a few months after the adoption.

Parents and children should be in therapy together. Working together. I would even imagine normal functioning parents having one adult move out months after an adoption. Gee, if you need sleep in another bedroom. But let's face there are a lot of people who aren't trying to keep a marriage together. It's a choice to stay together. They could even have planned to divorce and stayed together for a couple of years hiding their difficulties for Serenity's sake. Normal adults can find ways to get along for children even if they are struggling to make their marriage work. But I mean unless someone is beating you you don't have to take off in just a few months. And if that person is a threat to you then you wouldn't leave your newly adopted child behind.

Sorry. I guess this is a trigger for me. But I know it's not that hard to not divorce in a few months time if you are putting any effort into it and the other parent isn't abusive and even then you don't just leave your kids with the abuser.
Click to expand...

People that do not get along are not doing kids a favor by staying together.
 
Yeah, but you can think you have a solid marriage but be mistaken. Like the neighbor who found out her husband, who worked out of town during the week, had a live-in girlfriend in the other work location. I'm not saying the father was cheating, just that there can be things you don't anticipate.
 
human said:
That would be a cold day you know where if I allowed my child to be in a situation with people with felonies and schizophrenic grandmother having hallucinations.
Click to expand...
I'm wondering if she ever made a good decision in her whole life. She kept getting out of jail/prison on probation or parole and kept violating the conditions and getting thrown right back in again. Her claims in her interview that she was doing really good raising her baby if only they had stopped throwing her back in jail, was laughable. And the part about getting thrown back in jail because she was caught shoplifting because she had to steal things to sell so she could buy formula and diapers? Priceless. This child never had a chance in life from the day she was born.
 
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