summermood32
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2008
- Messages
- 846
- Reaction score
- 0
When you bring a child in this world you don't get a manual when they are born! You could be the best parent in the world and your child go the other direction!
I'm not sure that I really should make any in depth comments on their "parenting style"...Suffice it to say that I would not pick any of the above choices and that the description would include incompetent and stupid...
I'm in this catagory as well. The listed choices make no reference to the authorative lack of morality in the Anthony's especially Cindy.
She is more of a tyrant than an authority figure. She sets no limits or boundaries. She uses force only when in a rage and when it affects her personally such as when she picked up Casey from Tony's and made her come home. Or when she almost strangled Casey when she found out she had drained her grandparents retirement account. Yet she had no influence in getting Casey to graduate High School., or to use protection when having sex, or to find help for her sociopathic ways.
George is authoritarian...a bit scary I think..an uptight personality.
It's sort of like screaming and yelling when you dog poops on your rug and then handing the dog a biscuit and cuddling it on your lap. The dog gets confused and keeps on doing it.
Well, when JG told Ca that KC stole money from him, she said it was just one time. That makes it ok? This girl was never taught to be responsible for her actions. They Indulged her.
The A's remind me of my parents. Let me explain...
I couldn't get away with *anything* If I screwed up it was my responsibility. I started working when I was 16. I'm married (have been over 10 yrs, have a son, but I'm not being a "proper" parent!)
HOWEVER, my brother, the *crown prince* (yes, that's their name for him) could do no wrong. 5 DUI's, no problem. My parents tried to cover for him as best as they and money could. Couldn't finish school? They petitioned the University to extend his time. He adopted two dogs? Well, they're living at my parents house. He's an addict and an alcoholic (been in rehab 4 times) no, he just couldn't handle his break-ups with his girlfriends. He's 31 years old, they pay his rent, utilities, medical, life ins. auto insurance (yes he still has a car) Oh, and did I mention that he was busted with cocaine in his wallet? Nope, according to them, his "friend" must have put it there. Oh, and he's still never worked a day in his life!
Sorry, but that's one of the reasons I haven't followed the A family antics... It hits a little close to home!
Wow, we could be sisters. I have a younger brother (baby of the family) who did very similar things, and it was always someone else's fault in my parents eyes. Never did he face ANY consequences. Well, this year (he's 35 now) he managed to somehow get my parents retirement home put in his name, take most of the rest of their valuables, and then promptly kicked them (a couple in their 70's) out on the street with nothing. So he and his barfly girlfriend could then live their trashy life off my parents hard work for the last 50 years. The rest of us "not so wonderful" kids had to come up with the money to help them relocate and find a place to live. They literally were left with NOTHING. Now my parents live in an old run-down rented duplex and my dad is a stocker at a gas station/mini-mart earning minimum wage. This was a man who earned 6 figures most of his life. He will now have to work until he dies just to survive.
That's what that type of "parenting style" gets you in the end.
wow had that been my son his butt wouldve been put in a treatment center and it wouldve been billed to him .. i have always told my son you get yourself in trouble you pay the price not me .. so he minds his business .. but i have taught him that from the get go . and my daughter will be taught the same .. you just have to do it in a loving but firm way .. never let your kids get the upper hand on you either . it takes alot of consistancy but it pays off in the end .you listen you talk to them guide them and dont always make decisions for them . let them use thier own judgement to a point but make them realize they are the ones who will have to pay for what they do wrong in life and mommy/daddy are not and sometimes cant bail you out ..i always tell my son you want to make adult decisions than you have to deal with what happens to an adult when its the wrong one ..of course if its anything dangerous or where he could get hurt i lock him in a guilded cage and tell him no LOL j/k im very proud of my son .. he is a good person but he likes that death metal crap and some of the words i dont like at all! doesnt seem to change his dimeanor though so that tells me he isnt easily swayed like some kids are with music and friends . if his friends try to talk him into doing something he shouldnt.. he comes and talks to me (im his shrink ) rofl .we are close and i love itThe A's remind me of my parents. Let me explain...
I couldn't get away with *anything* If I screwed up it was my responsibility. I started working when I was 16. I'm married (have been over 10 yrs, have a son, but I'm not being a "proper" parent!)
HOWEVER, my brother, the *crown prince* (yes, that's their name for him) could do no wrong. 5 DUI's, no problem. My parents tried to cover for him as best as they and money could. Couldn't finish school? They petitioned the University to extend his time. He adopted two dogs? Well, they're living at my parents house. He's an addict and an alcoholic (been in rehab 4 times) no, he just couldn't handle his break-ups with his girlfriends. He's 31 years old, they pay his rent, utilities, medical, life ins. auto insurance (yes he still has a car) Oh, and did I mention that he was busted with cocaine in his wallet? Nope, according to them, his "friend" must have put it there. Oh, and he's still never worked a day in his life!
Sorry, but that's one of the reasons I haven't followed the A family antics... It hits a little close to home!
I was thinking about the case on the way home and it seemed to come to me that maybe Casey never grew up. She seems to make up stories and avoid responsibilities in the same way a little child would. It's a stretch but maybe she wasn't mature enough to realize the serious consequences of certain actions, like a small child who lies and goes their merry way, then puts on a show of sadness when caught.
Also called learned helplessness. With her family as the enablers. But I do believe its more than this.
My sister is just like KC. NOt as young and 'pretty', but the lack of emotion, and maternal instinct is just the same.
The way they say the words they think we want to hear, but with zero emotion or passion behind it. They just dont feel it.
In the beginning, I gently tried to help my sister.The whole family did. I booked a psych appt for her and went along for support and she sat there and lied through her teeth.
I had custody of her 3 children for several months, at the age of 21 when she was 27. She got them back after doing a parenting course.
Then we tried tough love. that didnt work either.
Nothing worked because its not something they can learn. The only thing that could possibly make a difference is medication, to get their brain chemistry where it needs to be.
My sister has now not seen any of her older kids in years, and doesnt even rememeber their birthdates.And the last baby she had 3 yrs ago was taken away before she even left the hospital. She is not a drug addict, or alcoholic.She never beat them.she was just completely absent and self focused. She has borderline personality disorder and wont do what she needs to do to get better.
My point is, that it cannot be blamed entirely on her upbringing, lack of boundaries and the enabling her family did.(thats not what you said, but what many posters do)
My sister and I grew up under the same roof in the same dysfunctional circumstances, and we are two completely different people.I have a mental illness too, not the same one, but i take my meds, talk with my psychologist honestly, and I try my hardest not to let it affect my children.
I know people dont like to go down the mental illness route, but by exploring it and understanding it, it may just prevent the same thing happening in the future....jmo
I'm having trouble choosing one. The choices seem to suggest consistency. I think there are psychological and emotional issues in this family that would defy simple categorization. I think how things went in that family would depend on what mood Cindy was in that day and everyone would adjust accordingly. I guess I would call that "The Crazymaking Style" of parenting or the "Matriarchal Controller" style!