WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - #13

Status
Not open for further replies.
If you don`t mind, I`d like to add that M is still in foster care and he`s only allowed supervised visitation resulting from a restraining order by CPS.

If this guy was cleared and there was nothing to suggest he had anything to do with this case and he was totally innocent from harming his children, I would think he would have custody by now.

Like I said, when LE says he`s ruled out, I`ll feel more comfortable but right now, I`m left with this suspicion about him. Whether it has anything to do with Sky, I do not know but there is something bothering me.


You can have your suspicion, that's fine. I just don't share it. LE can't rule anyone out right now when they don't know what happened, when Sky disappeared, or where he is. They can't even rule me out! You can't give a rock-solid alibi for what may be 2+ months' time. They can't rule him out, but they're not really looking at him either.

He doesn't have full custody right now because it would be completely ridiculous to return ANY child to ANY parent who hasn't seen her in almost a year, especially when her sibling is missing and goodness only knows what the perpetrator might do if they know where she is. They're trying to reunite SM with M. in a way that is the least traumatic for her. Other sleuthers -- wasn't that restraining order tossed out? Or was that a different one?
 
Happy Birthday bendrn!! And thanks for all the information you've shared with us all today!! Enjoy your birthday!!
 
This really is a morbidly fascinating case, and IMO, made all the more interesting by the mental health issues Julia brings to the table.

I do NOT feel sorry for her. I believe that she is an unbelievably cruel and calculating person, and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

That said, please have a look at a book I found today. If you follow this link, you can choose to read exerpts of the first few chapters of the book. (Link pasted below.)

The title of the book is "When Mothers Kill: Interviews From Prison". From what I can tell from the pages I have read through, almost all, if not absolutely all, of the mothers interviewed in this book were severely abused as children. And given what we have read about and from Julia's mother, I for one can believe that Julia did not have a peaceful, nurturing childhood.

Amazon.com: When Mothers Kill: Interviews from Prison (Ancient Cities of the New Worl) (9780814757024): Michelle Oberman, Cheryl Meyer: Books
:rocker:
Now I am off to my own birthday party.:seeya: Thank you all for the very interesting and thought-provoking conversation today!!!

Happy Birthday:rocker:

While I do agree with anecdotal evidence that many violent perps have been abused~~there are many victims of child abuse that stop the cycle and go on to become...social workers, psychiatrists, metal health techs, counselors, mothers, fathers and contributing members of society that do not hurt children or others. I sometimes wonder if there is not another factor that causes those abused to go on to act violently towards others. In my very own family, there are three sisters...all abuse by the same monster. One got a rocky start, though graduating college at the Masters level and became a Christian Counselor, Mother of five (four Foster children~~adopted), One became addicted to heroin at 13 and eventually kicked it...married and had a hysterectomy at 20 because she was afraid she might hurt children and the other went on to let the monster who abused her violate against her own children and she ripped her own sons arm out of his socket in anger. I am not so sure we really know the clinical reasons why abuse victims go on to offend against others.
 
<modsnip> there is this little tidbit:

http://www.king5.com/news/cities/be...r-had-dreams-about-killing-him-134294183.html
In the court documents, records show Julia was involuntary committed to a West Seattle mental health center, where doctors claimed she had a low - GAF- or global assessment of functioning scale - just 15 on a scale of 1 to 100.

A University of Washington explanation says that number means a person is danger of hurting themselves or others.

Global Assessment of Functioning - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
91 - 100 Superior functioning in a wide range of activities, life's problems never seem to get out of hand, is sought out by others because of his or her many positive qualities. No symptoms.

81 - 90 Absent or minimal symptoms (e.g., mild anxiety before an exam), good functioning in all areas, interested and involved in a wide range of activities, socially effective, generally satisfied with life, no more than everyday problems or concerns (e.g., an occasional argument with family members).

71 - 80 If symptoms are present, they are transient and expectable reactions to psychosocial stressors (e.g., difficulty concentrating after family argument); no more than slight impairment in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., temporarily falling behind in schoolwork).

61 - 70 Some mild symptoms (e.g., depressed mood and mild insomnia) OR some difficulty in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., occasional truancy, or theft within the household), but generally functioning pretty well, has some meaningful interpersonal relationships.

51 - 60 Moderate symptoms (e.g., flat affect and circumstantial speech, occasional panic attacks) OR moderate difficulty in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., few friends, conflicts with peers or co-workers).

41 - 50 Serious symptoms (e.g., suicidal ideation, severe obsessional rituals, frequent shoplifting) OR any serious impairment in social, occupational, or school functioning (e.g., no friends, unable to keep a job).

31 - 40 Some impairment in reality testing or communication (e.g., speech is at times illogical, obscure, or irrelevant) OR major impairment in several areas, such as work or school, family relations, judgment, thinking, or mood (e.g., depressed man avoids friends, neglects family, and is unable to work; child frequently beats up younger children, is defiant at home, and is failing at school).

21 - 30 Behavior is considerably influenced by delusions or hallucinations OR serious impairment, in communication or judgment (e.g., sometimes incoherent, acts grossly inappropriately, suicidal preoccupation) OR inability to function in almost all areas (e.g., stays in bed all day, no job, home, or friends)

11 - 20 Some danger of hurting self or others (e.g., suicide attempts without clear expectation of death; frequently violent; manic excitement) OR occasionally fails to maintain minimal personal hygiene (e.g., smears feces) OR gross impairment in communication (e.g., largely incoherent or mute).

1 - 10 Persistent danger of severely hurting self or others (e.g., recurrent violence) OR persistent inability to maintain minimal personal hygiene OR serious suicidal act with clear expectation of death.

People with OCD are not typically committed involuntarily and a score of 15 on the GAF scale would IMO indicate that she has had something more severe going on, at least at that time. Severe obsessive rituals are given as an example of a score in the 41-50 range.
 
Yes, Rouge you're absolutely correct in that they are slow re-establishing the relationship between father and daughter.. This sadly is the only healthy way to go from the severe abuses that Julia has inflicted in her repeated FALSE ABUSE ALLEGATIONS(all of them proven 100% unfounded, baseless, and false) that caused this father to be with held from having a relationship with his children.. Even more sadly this severely disturbed woman has likely harmed even worse this baby boy, Sky and punished Solomon in the most extreme ways imaginable..

I absolutely agree with bendrn and I have no pity or empathy for this individual.. I think woman is not only seriously ill, but is a serious liar!! She cannot even keep straight what type of an abusive monster her husband supposedly is.. Just as it states in court docs repeatedly that Solomon's Christianity is what caused so much of their problems according to this woman. Yet she now states he's a sadistic Muslim.. As well as she originally in court docs states that it was in their million dollar beautiful home, against a decorative column that he beat her in front of the kids on Christmas day.. Yet recently she has now stated that occurred in the condo!! It is these type very simple details that scream the obvious blatant liar this woman is!! I doNt doubt she was abused.. Electro shock therapy, yes quite possibly?!? Who knows?? <modsnip> The only people you need to be talking to is LE telling where you've put that beautiful baby boy, Sky Elijah Metalwala!!!

:rant over:.. I'm disgusted by this woman and the pain she continues to inflict.. It's a heartless, soulless individual that could only be capbable of such..
 
I did a bit of looking and found that there are people accusing the commissioner who has handled this family's case, of being anti-male, pro woman:

If you stab, hit, attack your man or trash his house, Jeske doesn't care either. She'll grant a restraining order against HIM as long as he put his hands up to block you from stabbing him. Jeske has thrown out cases when dads have asked for more time. But, when moms have asked for more time, based upon the EXACT SAME FACTS, she grants the modification (or adequate cause) and takes the kids from the dad and puts them with mom. What she does is ask a series of questions to trap a dad, to get him to say something she is looking for...or she'll just take one sentence out of the mom's pleadings and ignore the REAMS of evidence that dad presents
.
http://www.market4free.com/classifieds/ads/services/limo-cars/37012600
 
I just looked at the age of consent in WA. Its 16 with a 60month +/-. Not that it matters and I regret mentioning it. I was just throwing out an idea. I didnt think people would run with it. Whoops.
 
Borderline.

Got it. I've been chewing on that one since most of her mental health issues came to light. It's complicated for me. As a clinician, I view BPD as a trauma disorder, not a personality disorder (for anyone further interested in this, google "Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder"; it's being billed as a replacement diagnosis for BPD -- with the implication being that the condition is treatable and not a fundamental part of one's personality and that it is trauma-based, not personality-based).

That said, I've been thinking for a while that JB does exhibit some of the criteria for BPD but, since my speciality is working with persons diagnosed with BPD (or C-PTSD, however you want to look at), I'm just not seeing what I typically see in most of my clients. Rather, I'm seeing more of a personality disorder going on here, and I've been saying that consistently for the past several threads. I don't view BPD as a personality disorder, so thinking JB is wouldn't fit with what I think is going on here. Hope that answers your question!
 
While it might be used in Russia, I don't believe it could be used to punish a child.

Right. The court document states that Julia referred to the shock treatments as punishment - that is her perception - not the actual reason for the treatments.
 
This really is a morbidly fascinating case, and IMO, made all the more interesting by the mental health issues Julia brings to the table.

I do NOT feel sorry for her. I believe that she is an unbelievably cruel and calculating person, and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

That said, please have a look at a book I found today. If you follow this link, you can choose to read exerpts of the first few chapters of the book. (Link pasted below.)

The title of the book is "When Mothers Kill: Interviews From Prison". From what I can tell from the pages I have read through, almost all, if not absolutely all, of the mothers interviewed in this book were severely abused as children. And given what we have read about and from Julia's mother, I for one can believe that Julia did not have a peaceful, nurturing childhood.

Amazon.com: When Mothers Kill: Interviews from Prison (Ancient Cities of the New Worl) (9780814757024): Michelle Oberman, Cheryl Meyer: Books

Mental Illness and Child Abuse are both known to be handed down from generation to generation. Again, I do not forgive Julia. But my hope is that as a society, we will educate ourselves about people like her, recognize the warning signs and dangers of hand-me-down abuse, and do our best through education to put a stop to it BEFORE a mother or father abuses their innocent children! Enough, already!

Now I am off to my own birthday party.:seeya: Thank you all for the very interesting and thought-provoking conversation today!!!


Happy Birthday to You! :woohoo::great::rocker:
 
I've wondered about the get-married-or-get-deported story, because his whole family is here and it seems like he would have immigrated with them and would have had a path to citizenship through whatever visa he arrived on. It's possible someone lied about that--either the family lied to JB to pressure her, or JB is lying now.

In my opinion, SM is innocent of wrong-doing in relation to his son's disappearance, but that doesn't have to mean he's a perfect, blameless person in all respects. I don't think he should have been dating a 15-year-old when he was 21, I think it's wrong. I also don't think JB was ever normal and SM dated and pursued her and married her probably knowing she had big problems but overlooked them because she was pretty and he wanted her. That's just my opinion, looking at them.

I imagine their relationship started with him in the dominant role. He was older, had more money than she did. He started his business in 2000 with a loan from his mother. Don't know when he bought the condo, but I believe he bought it before the marriage in 2003 and they were living together. I think she married him b/c she wanted to be co-owner in the business and condo. At that point it probably looked like he was on his way up, she had been dating him for some time, and she wanted a piece of the action. If she married him hastily as he was facing deportation (whether the threat of deportation was real or whether it was cooked up to pressure her) that tells me she felt resistant to marrying him and only did it reluctantly. Maybe she felt unsure/conflicted about marrying him, but didn't want to lose her investment in him, in the business, etc.

The balance of power can change in a relationship. He had money (not much, but to her it probably looked like something) and she had beauty. He was 21 and handed his card to a cute teenager he saw at a gas station, the guy is no angel. He's a typical man and people change over time, so by now he may be a very different person: intensely religious, a dad, and BROKE.

He probably understood at some level that his appeal to her was his money and business, a certain lifestyle she desired and that's why he bought that ridiculous car and house he couldn't afford.

I do not think he is a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but still I think he showed good judgment in trying to overcome her illness and protect his children, and even if he's not perfect I don't think he's the bad guy in Sky's disappearance.
 
Isnt it more reasonable to assume that Solomon changed his name from the Sulaiman original to the current spelling when he became an American citizen? Its less far fetched than the weird conspiracy theories.

I dont think he had anything to do with Sky's disappearance. The article posted just says to me that JBs mental health issues predate SM. He didnt make her that way, he just got sucked into the JB vortex.
 
Got it. I've been chewing on that one since most of her mental health issues came to light. It's complicated for me. As a clinician, I view BPD as a trauma disorder, not a personality disorder (for anyone further interested in this, google "Complex Post-Traumatic Disorder"; it's being billed as a replacement diagnosis for BPD -- with the implication being that the condition is treatable and not a fundamental part of one's personality and that it is trauma-based, not personality-based).

That said, I've been thinking for a while that JB does exhibit some of the criteria for BPD but, since my speciality is working with persons diagnosed with BPD (or C-PTSD, however you want to look at), I'm just not seeing what I typically see in most of my clients. Rather, I'm seeing more of a personality disorder going on here, and I've been saying that consistently for the past several threads. I don't view BPD as a personality disorder, so thinking JB is wouldn't fit with what I think is going on here. Hope that answers your question!


Thank you. I have some familiarity with BPD as I have a family member that was diagnosed with it, after an initial diagnosis of Schizophrenia. The psychiatrist stated it was a personality disorder. The diagnosis was 25 years ago and she has not injured herself or others in 5 years. I plan to research your info well. :seeya: Thank you for answering. I thought that I noticed similar behaviors in Julia. Perhaps it was misdiagnosed and is another personality disorder. Knowledge is power...I thank you for adding to mine. :)
 
Someone please provide me with an article from MSM which states anyone raped anyone.

If there is no link I think we should move on from this discussion.
 
At this point Sky's father is a victim. We are a victim friendly site. Sleuthing is not allowed at this point. He can be discussed as he is in the media. Thank you.

Ima
 
Thank you. I have some familiarity with BPD as I have a family member that was diagnosed with it, after an initial diagnosis of Schizophrenia. The psychiatrist stated it was a personality disorder. The diagnosis was 25 years ago and she has not injured herself or others in 5 years. I plan to research your info well. :seeya: Thank you for answering. I thought that I noticed similar behaviors in Julia. Perhaps it was misdiagnosed and is another personality disorder. Knowledge is power...I thank you for adding to mine. :)

Cool! <modsnip>. I'm happy to help.

FYI for all, persons diagnosed with BPD tend to harm themselves, not others. Note that part of the diagnostic criteria for BPD is self-harm/suicidal behaviors, thoughts, or urges. Also note that thoughts or actions that physically harm others is NOT part of the diagnostic criteria (I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just pointing out that it's not a feature of the disorder nor is it required as part of diagnosis). JB had suicidal ideation, according to her, but whether or not that was true or for what reason is unclear, as her statements about it are contradictory and one of her statements is more consistent with a personality disorder: I did it for sympathy/attention.

ETA: Typo when I wrote C-PTSD. It stands for "Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." I should also mention that some in the field are advocating for BPD to remain as a personality disorder diagnosis that, likely, has a biological component and is not trauma-based and that C-PTSD should be added for those with similar features but who do not have a personality disorder but do have a repetitive trauma history. I could see value in that, but I think there need to be more research and studies.
 
At this point Sky's father is a victim. We are a victim friendly site. Sleuthing is not allowed at this point. He can be discussed as he is in the media. Thank you.

Ima

Thank you so much for stepping in. This discussion was breaking my heart. Thank you.
 
I have a brother-in-law that had severe depression. He tried EST here in the good ole USA about 13 years ago. He volunteered because they had tried every known depression medication, and none were working for him. The EST gave him short-term memory loss, and he eventually gave up trying that form of therapy. He finally found a medication that worked for him; and we were all thrilled. However, 8 years ago, we found out the hard way that the medication was no longer working.
 
What matters to me with this case is that Sky is missing and may have been missing since October 1, 2011. Although I don't want to think it could be that long, but it seems there is a larger time-frame that this precious child has been gone. I want to shorten it perhaps to mid October, but even that is a long time because it would then reflect a MONTH.

What Solomon did when he met Julia, is not going to solve this case and will only point fingers when it is now, IMO, "water under the bridge."

In so many cases of divorce and child custody, the ugly of the ugliest comes out and the only way anyone is going to know the truth, is if at the mediation, everyone was set up with a polygraph or perhaps injected with truth serum to get the true facts.

Clearly Julia has problems, to whatever degree she has them, and Solomon has his own issues by putting up with Julia until he could no longer put up with them.

All their problems is not bringing Sky home. This child is out there somewhere and it is going to take an army plus to walk the land across this community and outskirts to find this child.

Although Miss M maybe able to help at some point, but I feel this child has been emotionally abused and it just may take a lot of time to see what she may say.

It is very clear Miss M, was a big caregiver for Sky, and perhaps had no choice but to help him along the way when they were alone. Miss M must be feeling the loss of her little brother and so very confused.

Sometimes I could hear her saying: "I not use to playing all over the house, or sleeping in a bed that is not on the floor, or not having to take so many showers, or having to stay in bed all the time." Her little voice haunts me and I never heard her speak a word.

Where is SKY????
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Members online

Online statistics

Members online
209
Guests online
3,948
Total visitors
4,157

Forum statistics

Threads
592,705
Messages
17,973,697
Members
228,871
Latest member
Freedomfinders
Back
Top