This.
I mean I've watched her sit with a stone face and I've watched her fake cry and I've watched her genuinely cry when she was angry. And at times I was chilled by something she said on the tapes, or by a look on her face in an emotional moment.
However watching George Anthony - a man I don't like, a man I feel at the very least is a codependent enabler of epic proportions - break down and sob... I sat at my computer at work and cried with him. Not only cried with him because he was so clearly heartbroken, but also imagining my own family, my own father, my daughter, the love I feel for them, Caylee, the love I would have felt for her if I had ever known her - all of those things made me ache inside and I couldn't not cry.
Even if you've never lost a child, my guess is most parents imagine what they would feel if... and I have imagined after nightmares and close calls ... and I would want to die, too, as George wanted to. And yet I hope I would cling to life enough to call every single person in my cell phone - even Jose Baez were his number there - and tell them I wanted to die with my loved one so I could be saved to remain for the other loved ones I cherish.
While this was happening in court, I was watching KC glare, stare, shake her head in disgust, eventually smile and laugh and flirt with the man who just mocked her father's thoughts of grief and death, who laughed at her father for being so grief stricken to include JB on the list of people he called and texted and reached out to in his suicidal grief... she winked at JB for mocking him, she reached out her hand just to be closer to the man who mocked and derided her father for his grief over the murder of her daughter.
I was so horrified, even KNOWING she is a sociopath or psychopath or whatever. I KNOW this, and watching it still froze me so that I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I still can't get it into my mind that this is a possible expression of humanity, what we see in ICA.
I've known one sociopath in my life and he was (as far as I know) non-violent. Just a chronic liar, manipulator and not even very good at hiding his mirroring of whoever he was interacting with. And so sometimes I fool myself that I "get" what it's about.
Watching ICA today? I don't know jack s*** about sociopaths. I don't want to know. I'm scared of her, scared of her existence on this earth, felt today that people who are like her create a mutual exclusion scenario in which we both can't inhabit the same planet at the same time. In a purely survival, animalistic sense I understand the impulse to impose death on these individuals when they show themselves for who they are.
I can't think of a single funny thing to write, even though IMO the last witness was a complete scream who has about a million funny quotes and moments... still, I was left thinking that the association with ICA's case will ruin this poor woman's life as well, in some way, given time. It's beyond real explanation to me.
