Yeah you’re right, I’m sure that defence was not her own idea. Still I just feel that some people trust her account and aren’t questioning how she said she felt… and she absolutely has reason to try to reframe her actions as PPD/infanticide. And tbh I think the holes in the case are quite obvious.
Graham did say he forgave her initially. But I’m not sure how he feels now. He also said “she’s done this to hurt me”. Both of those statements were made within 24-48 hours of the killings.
To me they suggest he was afraid to lose everyone at once (lauren as well as the kids, and blamed himself for what happened, which could be a pattern in their relationship).
I’m not one to find fault with Graham. A lot of people are, but I feel like he may have been emotionally abused/codependent and unable to see things clearly. If you look at a subreddit like BPDLovedones, you can see how a dynamic like that could develop- where a personality disordered individual plays victim constantly, makes repeated dramatic and sometimes violent threats, and their partner is lost as to how to respond. They try being emotionally supportive, but they often get abused in the process, and can become disoriented and end up just shutting down and becoming avoidant. We can’t know if this happened here, but it does seem like Graham was frustrated with Lauren- hence the “big girl panties” comment. He also seemed to be trying to improve their lives by emigrating from South Africa. Which… I come from there and now live in Nz… is an awful place (SA that is) and anyone that can leave wants to leave, I think. So it’s not like he made a crazy decision for their family.
I am not sure the move played a part at all other than to force Lauren to parent more and increasing her resentment as a result.