Found Deceased TX - Sherin Mathews, 3, Richardson, 7 Oct 2017 #7 *Arrests*

[Rocco]

For most victims of abuse, the fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying.

Has she said that she was afraid of him? I've never heard that reported.

 

[Grouchymom]

What you read is correct. Indians still believe in caste and in many castes being female automatically makes you second class. This is mainly because
- only men can get inheritance
- women have to pay a large dowry to find a "good" husband
- once a woman is married, she belongs to her husband and there is nobody to take care of parents when they are older
- having a son is seen as a privilege. People automatically look up at you.
- only women can bring dishonour on the family
- if an unmarried woman is raped, she is no longer of any use and society won't accept her

There are a million other reasons but these are the main ones.

However, the Mathews are upper middle class Christians from Kerala. Christians and Muslims don't have castes or dowry systems (Not to the extent of Hindus) Eg. My caste would just be Tamilian (Language my parents speak) Roman Catholic whereas the Mathews would be Malayali (language spoken by Mathews) Brethren. So if my parents wanted to find me a groom, they would just look for another Tamilian Roman Catholic.

The only thing common across every Indian is that women should submit to men and obey them.

BBM


My turn, here is my question. Given the Mathews are Christian and it is the Hindu that believe in reincarnation, but what influence would the possibility of reincarnation have on them? Think about it, even though their personal religion is Christianity The Hindu culture has existed a long time through out India would it be possible in the far recesses of thier minds that the possibility that Sherin could be reincarnated could cause them concerns? I know that i wouldnt want to know that someone i kindled could be reincarnated into someone or something that could at some point have power over my life. Whether it is a person or a killer bee. I am not trying to make fun. Would this Brethren completely disregard the possibility or not?

 

[Grouchymom]

Has she said that she was afraid of him? I've never heard that reported.

roccoi am sorry I have an OT question if you don’t mind.

Are you:
Male
Female
don’t know
don’t care
neither
both
other

i just want to know when the voices in my head read your posts which voice to use.


JMHO

 

[Riice]

OT:
I think lactose intolerance has alot to do with ethnicity and the gene pool? I just read Kingsolver's Pigs in Heaven' and the white mom kept making her Cherokee daughter (who somebody had abandoned in her car) drink milk because she was small. Apoarantly, many Cherokees are lactose intolerant and thus the girl really hated to drink milk and white mom had no clue. Ironically, the novel was about where the girl Turtle should be placed permanently.

Milk is so integral to American white culture, it made me wonder how pervasive milk was in with Indian culture or if LI was any kind of a factor in this case?

Milk is very important in Indian culture. Lactose intolerance is not very common in Indian culture as far as I know.

Referencd: growing up and being Indian myself.

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[Rocco]

roccoi am sorry I have an OT guestion if you don’t mind.

Are you:
Male
Female
don’t know
don’t care
neither
both
other

i just want to know when the voices in my head read your posts which voice to use.


JMHO

(heh) I identify as a German Shepherd Dog and I'm in the process of transitioning.

Smart

Loyal

Protective

Sensitive

Nice teeth

Prone to getting growly if I get pushed

Thank you for asking.

 

[Riice]

Since this story is so public, it makes me wonder if Sherin's biological mother knows all this happened to the child she left in the bushes. But I also have read accounts from India where the father took the child from the mother and gave them away so that could have happened. In some areas in India men still have strong control. In any case, I do wonder if her bio mother is aware of it all and sorry she didn't keep her baby.

Considering this baby was abandoned in a bush I am going to say mom is illiterate and probably knows nothing of the world outside her village. Moo.. from what I know and have seen.

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[Pamela_Brewer]

Milk is very important in Indian culture. Lactose intolerance is not very common in Indian culture as far as I know.

Referencd: growing up and being Indian myself.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

I worked for a "Desai" a pharmacist. She frequently drank a warm yogurt drink.
I also worked for a "Luk" he was a doctor from Hong. Kong. The smell of butter made him ill. He claimed his "people" were lactose intolerant and could smell milk through the pores of anyone who drank it.
Now, since I frequent Asian restaurants, it hit me.
There is no dairy on the menus!
I am fascinated by other cultures!
Thank you for your input!


MOO

 

[JazzTune]

Your statement about RN's being more assertive made me curious about rates of domestic violence among nurses. What I found out shocked me.. "Some 14 per cent have been victims of domestic abuse in the last year, with one in 50 suffering injury. This compares with a national average of 4.4 per cent." http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nurses-three-times-more-likely-9154697 This is another article, talking about the same study: https://www.nursingtimes.net/news/c...-to-experience-domestic-abuse/7011688.article Before reading that, I would have agreed with you. My partner is an RN, and he talks about the culture of standing up for patients no matter who is needing to be corrected.

Note to everyonel: Please understand, that my comments about Sini's affect, and whether she has been in a controlling relationship does not serve as an excuse. Trying to understand a situation is not the same thing as trying to excuse someone. I just want to make sure that is clear.

( Warning: Lengthy reply )

Thanks for your reply. Thanks to everyone else too who shared their thoughts and opinions on this topic.

No argument from me about the temperament of those who are attracted to nursing, as well as the other helping professions.

Everyone who posted has shown clearly that nurses are givers. We willingly go the extra mile and beyond. We put up with conditions that others never would. We take all our commitments seriously.

There's good reasons why nursing has been voted the most trusted profession by the public, for 15 years in a row.

http://www.nursingworld.org/Homepag...NI/Nurses-Rank-1-Most-Trusted-Profession.html

The core of nursing is caring. Caring means feeling concern, empathy, and compassion for others.

Being caretakers, it's no wonder those values can easily lead many to choose the wrong partner.

I agree with that. Being assertive for patients doesn't mean a nurse will not be in an abusive relationship. I sincerely apologize if I gave the other perception. My Egyptian coworker was in a very abusive relationship for years before she got out.

I believe when many nurses realize they are in abusive relationships, they may try harder to stay. They want to fix things. To heal things. They put others before themselves. That's how nurses are wired.

But I believe the act of speaking up for a patient helps that nurse, over time, to find her voice to speak up for herself.

The knowledge that the abuse is wrong has been ingrained in her throughout her education and work experience. I believe it then becomes a tool to give her a better chance of getting out.

Not a guarantee but a better chance.

I believe several people said that in their posts - that it wasn't easy but they learned to stand up for themselves and got out.

That is most important. They're not in abusive relationships now, and they're being careful not to get into another.

Domestic violence is epidemic. That's why the stats in your links looked so odd to me. That one study, referenced by both, and based in the United Kingdom, stated: "Some 14% of nurses have been victims of domestic abuse in the last year, with one in 50 suffering injury. This compared with a national average of 4.4%"

National average of 4.4%??

Those stats sent me searching for results of domestic violence in the USA. They told a much different story. The study I've linked below states the average rate is almost one in every three women! Almost 33%, not 4.4%.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...ced-domestic-violence/?utm_term=.5318257caec9


That's a huge difference. Are the women in these two countries really treated that much differently? I would guess it's more an error in reporting.

I couldn't find any stats for domestic violence against American nurses. Any violence is too much, but I wonder if it's more or less than the American average of almost 33%.

Not sure what any of this means, if anything, because it's all conjecture, generalities, and opinions.

Don't know if it even applies to Sini.

It's my opinion though that she did not leave a 3 year old, defenseless child home alone because she was too scared of her husband.

She advocated for children in her job, but was too scared to advocate for her own? Not buying it.

She walked out and closed that door behind her. She knew what she was doing. ' Evil' is the only word that can explain that, imo.

My hope is that Sherin died quickly before they went out to eat. The thought of that poor child being left there alone, frightened and helpless, just tears my heart out...



JMO

 

[edimmu]

BBM


My turn, here is my question. Given the Mathews are Christian and it is the Hindu that believe in reincarnation, but what influence would the possibility of reincarnation have on them? Think about it, even though their personal religion is Christianity The Hindu culture has existed a long time through out India would it be possible in the far recesses of thier minds that the possibility that Sherin could be reincarnated could cause them concerns? I know that i wouldnt want to know that someone i kindled could be reincarnated into someone or something that could at some point have power over my life. Whether it is a person or a killer bee. I am not trying to make fun. Would this Brethren completely disregard the possibility or not?

They wouldn't believe she was reincarnated. However, Sherin would not have been baptised as she was raised Hindu (I know this as her name is Saraswati, a name of a Hindu Goddess).

 

[edimmu]

Has she said that she was afraid of him? I've never heard that reported.

Neither did I. This was in response to your previous post where you said "She had money, she had a car, she had relatives in the area, and she had a phone to call 911 if he became violent."

Having all those things does not mean she can't suffer from abuse. Most victims of domestic violence, especially victims from a different cultural background, do not seek help.

Anyway, I wish to discuss this case only and not what victims of DV do and don't.

 

[edimmu]

( Warning: Lengthy reply )

Thanks for your reply. Thanks to everyone else too who shared their thoughts and opinions on this topic.

No argument from me about the temperament of those who are attracted to nursing, as well as the other helping professions.

Everyone who posted has shown clearly that nurses are givers. We willingly go the extra mile and beyond. We put up with conditions that others never would. We take all our commitments seriously.

There's good reasons why nursing has been voted the most trusted profession by the public, for 15 years in a row.

http://www.nursingworld.org/Homepag...NI/Nurses-Rank-1-Most-Trusted-Profession.html

The core of nursing is caring. Caring means feeling concern, empathy, and compassion for others.

Being caretakers, it's no wonder those values can easily lead many to choose the wrong partner.

I agree with that. Being assertive for patients doesn't mean a nurse will not be in an abusive relationship. I sincerely apologize if I gave the other perception. My Egyptian coworker was in a very abusive relationship for years before she got out.

I believe when many nurses realize they are in abusive relationships, they may try harder to stay. They want to fix things. To heal things. They put others before themselves. That's how nurses are wired.

But I believe the act of speaking up for a patient helps that nurse, over time, to find her voice to speak up for herself.

The knowledge that the abuse is wrong has been ingrained in her throughout her education and work experience. I believe it then becomes a tool to give her a better chance of getting out.

Not a guarantee but a better chance.

I believe several people said that in their posts - that it wasn't easy but they learned to stand up for themselves and got out.

That is most important. They're not in abusive relationships now, and they're being careful not to get into another.

Domestic violence is epidemic. That's why the stats in your links looked so odd to me. That one study, referenced by both, and based in the United Kingdom, stated: "Some 14% of nurses have been victims of domestic abuse in the last year, with one in 50 suffering injury. This compared with a national average of 4.4%"

National average of 4.4%??

Those stats sent me searching for results of domestic violence in the USA. They told a much different story. The study I've linked below states the average rate is almost one in every three women! Almost 33%, not 4.4%.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...ced-domestic-violence/?utm_term=.5318257caec9


That's a huge difference. Are the women in these two countries really treated that much differently? I would guess it's more an error in reporting.

I couldn't find any stats for domestic violence against American nurses. Any violence is too much, but I wonder if it's more or less than the American average of almost 33%.

Not sure what any of this means, if anything, because it's all conjecture, generalities, and opinions.

Don't know if it even applies to Sini.

It's my opinion though that she did not leave a 3 year old, defenseless child home alone because she was too scared of her husband.

She advocated for children in her job, but was too scared to advocate for her own? Not buying it.

She walked out and closed that door behind her. She knew what she was doing. ' Evil' is the only word that can explain that, imo.

My hope is that Sherin died quickly before they went out to eat. The thought of that poor child being left there alone, frightened and helpless, just tears my heart out...



JMO

Agree with everything you said. what they did was truly evil even if it meant they left her dead body there. Dumping her in a culvert is also so evil. If they truly cared and she died in an accident, they could have buried her or done something more non evil.

 

[rosesfromangels]

Agree with everything you said. what they did was truly evil even if it meant they left her dead body there. Dumping her in a culvert is also so evil. If they truly cared and she died in an accident, they could have buried her or done something more non evil.

Leaving Sherin’s remains in a culvert exposed to vermin is an important point. It speaks loudly to utter contempt and disregard for the child. This will be a key point in the trial.

 

[faw720]

I come from the same background as them and know the culture extremely well. Ask me any questions you have on culture!

I think it would be extremely helpful if you would just briefly describe anything in their culture that would have influenced their behavior & treatment of Sherin. I think many of us here are looking at the situation through 'western eyes' & fail to understand that culture may have influenced Sini's attitude towards her husband & their treatment & punishment of their daughter. I may be entirely wrong in my assessment of the situation but I think it would be very helpful to know things about the cultural implications of husband/wife relations & child rearing. Perhaps the Matthews are just pure evil & culture plays no role. Thank you!

 

[Rocco]

Neither did I. This was in response to your previous post where you said "She had money, she had a car, she had relatives in the area, and she had a phone to call 911 if he became violent."

Having all those things does not mean she can't suffer from abuse. Most victims of domestic violence, especially victims from a different cultural background, do not seek help.

Anyway, I wish to discuss this case only and not what victims of DV do and don't.

The point was, she did not have to leave Sherin home alone for 1 1/2 hrs while she went out to eat with her child abusing husband. She had options. Sherin had no options. She was totally dependent on these 2 child abusers and they both left her alone to fend for herself while they had their dining experience, out on the town, with their biological child. She's no better than he is, no matter what went on in that house. Sherin died in that house and where was she? Oh yeah, sleeping (or so she says).

 

[Chebrock]

The point was, she did not have to leave Sherin home alone for 1 1/2 hrs while she went out to eat with her child abusing husband. She had options. Sherin had no options. She was totally dependent on these 2 child abusers and they both left her alone to fend for herself while they had their dining experience, out on the town, with their biological child. She's no better than he is, no matter what went on in that house. Sherin died in that house and where was she? Oh yeah, sleeping (or so she says).

I would also like to know what illness Sherin had, how was it treated and what her prognosis was when she left the orphage? These were in the first alibi and I wonder if there was any truth to it.

 

[jjenny]

Sooooo.... the scenario I have in my head is this:

WM: drink your milk so we can leave, if you don’t drink it, we will leave you here...
Sini tries to diffuse increasingly angered WM, Sherin’s noncompliance escalates
Sini becomes afraid WM will physically injure Sherin so she agrees to leave for dinner with Sherin left behind.

WM now is able to say “I didn’t coerce her” and it be the truth, but Sini was really doing it to try to de-escalate the situation.

All MOO and a product of my difficulty believing a fellow nurse was involved in the death of her baby... not that leaving the child behind is in anyway defensible, but what she thought was the best case scenario at the time...


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Who leaves a 3 year old alone in the house? I guess some neglectful parents do, but if these two have never done it before, then I really don't believe the timeline anymore.

 

[MissMalowe]

Registered User
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Quote Originally Posted by TXNurse77 View Post
Sooooo.... the scenario I have in my head is this:

WM: drink your milk so we can leave, if you don’t drink it, we will leave you here...
Sini tries to diffuse increasingly angered WM, Sherin’s noncompliance escalates
Sini becomes afraid WM will physically injure Sherin so she agrees to leave for dinner with Sherin left behind.

WM now is able to say “I didn’t coerce her” and it be the truth, but Sini was really doing it to try to de-escalate the situation.

All MOO and a product of my difficulty believing a fellow nurse was involved in the death of her baby... not that leaving the child behind is in anyway defensible, but what she thought was the best case scenario at the time...

That's a good/plausible theory from that evening too.

I wonder if Sini often agreed to leaving Sherin alone at night? The event must not have been too stomach churning for her as she did still order (and eat?) a meal for herself but did not bring one home for Sherin. She also apparently did not call or text anyone to check on Sherin's well-being while they were gone either. Why?

 

[i8mypaint]

Who leaves a 3 year old alone in the house? I guess some neglectful parents do, but if these two have never done it before, then I really don't believe the timeline anymore.

I think the only times we have are the night before and the car that left between 4-5 am.

The rest are just parts of their stories that are iffy at best.

The 3am feeding... well now there is a night before he was angry she wouldn’t eat, and a 3 am angry she wouldn’t eat... I think it’s all BS and so I’m just going with the two things we know for certain happened

MOO


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[ilovepierre]

Thanks edimmu for the insight into Indian culture
That being said, it still doesn't really change my opinion on Sini's involvement in little Sherin's death. She's still just as complicit.

 

[agilbe]

roccoi am sorry I have an OT question if you don’t mind.

Are you:
Male
Female
don’t know
don’t care
neither
both
other

i just want to know when the voices in my head read your posts which voice to use.


JMHO

uh oh hearing voices????:thinking: