WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 3

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dillysmom11 said:
She's not taking many of those pictures, who is?
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I think she took the vast bulk of them. But as for those she didn't take, what is important is what SHE uploaded. It is her account.

OneLove said:
Do we know that there was a court order that ended his visitation? Is it possible that the exchanges were so traumatic to his children and Julia so obviously mentally distressed that he may have thought it healthier and safer to wait until this recent mediation was completed before seeing the children again? Maybe his not seeing them was voluntary and for the sake of his children's best interests.
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I had that thought myself. I've seen that kind of thing in some cases. The alienated parent would rather forgo visits than further traumatize the kids.

MEM2010 said:
Is there a reward being offered in return for information on Sky's whereabouts?

I find it odd Iafrate states "somebody knows where Sky is" yes there is no type of reward being offered for this info. (that I can find)

http://www.kirotv.com/videos/news/raw-video-full-bellevue-police-briefing/vD66Q/
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Unless that someone is Julia. Then it is unlikely a reward would be helpful.
 
pdxmama said:
Sorry to quote myself but I thought of a question after I posted this. Many people seem to be doubting the OCD diagnosis because of the messy hotel room but we have also heard that she was a neat freak. Those of you that have experience with OCD, is it possible for their compulsive behaviors to change over time? For example, if someone with OCD compulsively washes their hands could they, over a period of time, stop that behavior and start compulsively hoarding magazines or something?

Not sure that this has anything to do with this poor little guy but I would like to know anyway.
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You know what... now that you mention it, mine have changed.

I used to have very number and letter related things.
Took every word and alphabetized it. (Sky = ksy)
Put every phone number or plate number in numerical order. (Thread # 7332699 = 2336799)
I don't do that very often anymore.

However, you can also be OCD about SOME aspects of cleaning and not about others.

We have heard that she was obsessive about cleaning the fridge.
We have heard that she didn't like to open the closet because she would have to clean it again.

Have we heard that she vacuumed obsessively?
Or that she constantly picked up the kids toys?
Or really anything that didn't involve wiping things down?

She could be obsessed with cleanliness when it comes to wiping down counters, the walls, the doors, the fridge... *sanitizing* but not as much with picking things up, or putting things away.

I vacuum everyday. As a result of that, I of course also pick up everything everyday.
Mopping? Sweeping? Toilets? Not so much...

The reason being, the carpeted areas are where the kids spend their time. I am more OCD about those being clean.

And dishes??? My Dad can do them in 20 minutes...
It takes me two hours.
I literally organize bowls, plates, plastic cups, glasses *ick* and silverware.
When I load the silverware I put them in evenly... 2 spoons, 2 forks, 2 knives... so they don't touch each other.

The laundry is organized by season, size and color. When I wash laundry I wash everything separately. Pajamas, clothes, towels, blankets, etc.

You know it really is amazing when I start thinking about it... how many things there are. It really doesn't affect me all that much.
The obsessively perfectionist part... that is hard.
I re-read posts many times to check for spelling errors and if I find them after it's too late to edit... they drive me NUTS.

I will redo something over and over and over till 5am until I get it right.
I won't even attempt it if I know I can't do it.

I think I answered your questions... you got me thinking and rambling a bit. This isn't really a topic that comes up a lot.
 
While it is possible that mom was abused I think it more likely the relationship was contentious, hostile, and both parties engaged in deplorable behaviour. What mom claims happened in court documents doesn't jive with what research has shown about abuser profiles. Abusers typically attempt to isolate and control their victim in very short measure; they seek to bond the victim to them as quickly as possible; and even when the abuser files for divorce there is often stalking, harassment, threats and even attempts of reconciliation on the part of the abuser. They must have (and keep) control over their victim.

I am not ruling out a heated altercation getting out of hand and one of them becoming violent but I'm not reading DV survivor either. This is JMHO based on my experience and knowledge though.

I was in denial for a long time about my abusive ex. I blamed myself and thought if I was prettier, smarter, cooked better, complained less, blah blah blah. Once we were separated and I was able to distinguish the forest for the trees I fought like hell to protect our children. I probably didn't outwardly appear as an abused wife either but I was petrified of my ex. All my fear was trumped by my need to ensure my children were never left alone with him. My ex was dx'd co-morbid antisocial & narcissistic personality disorder and reads as a classic case of the family annihilator profile. Over 5000 miles away and I am still scared of him...not that I will ever let him know that, mind you. ;)

I digress but I shared my story because so much of this case (and many others here) remind me of those days and my own court battles. I am so sympathetic to abuse survivors but I just don't see it here and can't quite pinpoint why.

I do have to add that though research into filicide has been a passion of mine for a very long time. I so cannot understand what can drive a parent to murder their child that I am obsessed by determining the whys. Historically there has always been an almost dismissive stance regarding mothers who kill their children. So much so that in 1938 England passed the Infanticide Act which lessens the crime of infanticide from murder to what is effectively manslaughter. Today, here, mothers convicted of murdering an infant are almost never given a custodial sentence. They are given probation and medical treatment.

My point is that rarely are mothers deemed evil by societies but rather often excused - she must be ill, insane, mad, stressed, abused, abused as a child, etc. Statistical data and loads of research into filicide disprove this though...sadly some mothers are vengeful, spiteful or evil and do kill for simple gains.

Interestingly paternal filicides are rarely afforded the same presumption of illness or abuse. That's just my social commentary for the day. :)
 
Anyone know by chance where we would find the divorce docs that JVM was reading on air tonight?? She said they were public record?? Looked as tho it was a good sized stack of them so betting they're extremely lengthy.. Anyone know?
 
Friend of missing boy's mom speaks with investigators:
The mother of missing 2-year-old Sky Metalwala continues to decline a police request that she undergo a polygraph examination, Bellevue police spokeswoman Carla Iafrate said Tuesday.
Note: This KING 5 video clarifies once and for all it was a female friend who picked JB and her daughter up Sunday morning. The friend spent 4 hours today with Bellevue police. Link (below)is on home page of KING 5 web screen:
http://www.king5.com/


Map of area including mothers home (Remond)and where her car ran out of gas and last the Chevron (Bellevue) JB and her daughter walked to:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/zoom/html/2016720100.html
 
ClassyT said:
Whaat? http://juliabiryukova.blogspot.com/
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Interesting, but possibly completely irrelevant: the "exchange from hell" was 10/28/10, and the other was recorded 11/04/10.

11/04/11 was the day JB notified the mediator that she felt she'd been pressured into the settlement that allowed dad visitation.

Two days later, Sky is reported missing.

I am very curious when was the last time someone outside the family saw Sky this past weekend.

(Thanks to MsFacetious for sharing about your letter/number compulsions--you got me thinking about this!)
 
I watched this on the VLM last night... I really wish the callers would call in with some questions that I REALLY want to know.

1) Did she call primary Dr. that day if child was sick. why not take to family Dr. instead of hosp. (assume ER) room. Was it after hours at Dr. office and did she call answering service and have Dr. call her back with instructions

2) Did she try and make arrangements for the little girl to have a babysitter while take infant/baby to hospital.. I would of .. who wants an extra child exposed to germs and ER takes many hours to get out of.

3) Did she ever have an OCD towards kids as far as cleaing and bathing them in excess.
reason being did lil one get dirty and she harmed him with some type of cleanser.

4) Is the little girl by the same father.. he would still have visitation with lil girl.. why didnt both of them come to harm if in fact it was harm by mother in revenge to visitation issues.

was mediation done days before he went missing... or the two week last seen time frame.. perhaps the two week ago mediation.. then somthing happened to the little boy.. and that is why she wanted to change the terms .. due to she knew he no longer existed.. therefore needed to set a scene of missing child.

IMO she is the only one I would have eyes on at this time.
 
gitana1 said:
I had severe anxiety for much of my life. Totally controlled now without medication! Anyhow, I also had bizarre thoughts, but usually of doing myself harm - like driving into oncoming traffic or jumping off a cliff or bridge. I call it "what if thinking" or "automatic thoughts". It made me think I had schizophrenia or something. It's just a product of all the adrenaline constantly racing through a person's body, trying to find a reason for the fear.



Keep looking. I see people who think there is nothing telling about the flikr account but many like me found there to be many more of the daughter, or many more closely focused on her, during the period after Sky was born. It really stood out to me. I notice no photos of a birthday party for him either but a few for the daughter.

I got a strange feeling from the photos. And it's not the older kid versus younger kid thing or one kid hamming it up for the camera thing either. There are hundreds of very mundane photos of the girl, frame after frame, like the mom was just repeatedly clicking, one photo after another, to capture every moment of her daughter. There are some beautiful photos of Sky but the focus, the intensity is not the same to me at all. :twocents:
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I spent a half hour or so going through her photos the other night, but I did not want to say anything until I'd had another look. That said, I agree with you.

Yes, there were plenty of images of Sky, but they are outnumbered two to one by images of the girl. More, there is a difference in the "tone" of the two that I am really hesitant to discuss without examining it further. The thing that jumped out at me was how often the girl was the subject, or star of the image. Her birthday is captured at least twice, where is his?

Of course there is a danger in reading too much into any of this; if this were the album of a random stranger it would raise no alarm.
 
ClassyT said:
I wish people would stop associating clean clothing and hair as a sign they are well cared for. A childs behavior is far more indicative of love than an appearance. You only have to talk to a kid for five minutes to learn pretty much everything there is to know about them.

For some people appearance is everything. Their kids always pay for it.
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Thank you for saying that - it comes up in case after case. Children are beautiful and can be well cared for even in hand-me-downs. New clothes make a pretty picture, but they don't improve quality of life.

I have a relative with OCD and her children were spotless and their clothes impeccable. Were they always happy? NO. Their home was like a museum, Mom was always cleaning so she didn't have time to play, and one of the kids grew up to have OCD herself and can barely take care of her own children. When things get messy or a little bit out of control she can't handle it.

It really is deceptive because people often believe cleanliness is next to godliness. But it doesn't actually say that in any holy book I've ever read.
 
gitana1 said:
I'm going to give you three cases where mentally unstable women falsely accused dads. In one, we had a client who said the girlfriend got a restraining order against him in criminal and civil court. My law partner handled both since there was a criminal case.

Her accusations, including being injured when he whipped her with a t.v. antenna, were grave enough that he was arrested and charged. My law partner put her on the stand in the civil case and proceeded with the case. The judge was surprised because when criminal charges are pending, civil cases are usually delayed because the accused cannot testify. But my law partner said he could do the case without the client testifying.

He got her on the stand and went over her medical records. Hospitalized repeatedly after accusing neighbors of assault, of accusing the mailman of hurting her, accusing a syndicate of causing injuries when they implanted microchips in her, etc., etc. Her story crumbled on the stand. She was not telling the truth, (although maybe she thought she was).

In another case, my client called saying his girlfriend got a temporary restraining order against him that prevented him from seeing the kids. He was scared and freaked out. She said he threatened to kill her, and hurt her. He said she was the violent one and often hit him but he never laid a hand on her. I researched her. She had obtained dv restraining orders against four other guys she went out with in the past. Very similar allegations each time. She won restraining orders each time. The court believed her.

In another case, my client's ex was completely mentally ill with bi-polar disorder, borderline, histrionic anti-social and narcissistic personality disorders. But we could not prove that at first. She went to the kid's school on a day he was supposed to pick her up, in the middle of tense litigation. She went up to his car, clawed his face and then when the police were called, said it happened when he was slamming the car door repeatedly on her and she was trying to get him to stop. The child witnessed everything and told the truth. After over two years of intensive litigation, and investigation, including me tracking down old co-workers, bosses, roommates and neighbors, and hiring a PI to track her who witnessed her slamming 18 drinks in a short period and acting like a little girl and otherwise bizarre out in public, my client has sole custody and mom only has supervised visitation. That poor kid went through so much with the mom and dad never knew until the end. By the way, she was not arrested when she clawed my client's face. But he almost was, despite no marks on her.

I can give you more cases, but those are three. It happens all the time. And when the accused is a middle eastern-looking foreigner from a culture that is known to treat women like property, and mom is a sweet looking blond lady who loves organics and church, who is more likely to be believed by the system?

Again, I'm not saying he wasn't abusive, I don't know. But Sky went missing in her care and her adored daughter did not. She surely knew that would mean she'd eventually lose custody of the daughter, probably to the dad. Where is Sky?
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The stereotype is that men are abusers, women are victims. Men are cold and distant, women nurturing. Men hit, women hug. Every guy is familiar with it.

You can see these societal presumptions of guilt and innocence play out in pretty much every case on these forums. In this case, for example, it requires the most ludicrous conspiracy theories imaginable to concoct a scenario in which dad somehow stole this boy, yet there are some clinging to this theory for no other reason than that he is a guy. And if mom's story was even remotely possible, if she had, for example, claimed her baby was stolen in the middle of the night, you can bet that half the country would be ready to hang poor dad from the nearest tree.

And let's take it a bit further. There are many here who casually accept as fact that dad was physically abusive towards his wife and children. They don't question it. After all, mom said so. The same mom with a missing boy and a story that is an obvious fabrication to explain his absense. The same mom who refuses to take a polygraph. The same mom, with a history of mental illness so dangerous that she was involuntarily committed to mental institutions a few times. That's his accuser.

Is there ANY reason to believe that he ever abused her?
 
Metalwala has not seen his children for several months, Terry said, but the parents had come to an agreement over custody last week that gave Metalwala visitation rights.

Terry said that Biryukova's attorney contacted him last Friday and said that her client changed her mind, but Sky disappeared before they could have another meeting over custody.

Terry said that Metalwala still believes that Sky has not left Washington. According to Terry, during their custody dispute, Metalwala blocked Biryukova from traveling out of state with the children or obtaining passports for Sky and his sister, out of fear that Biryukova would take the children to Canada or to Russia, where she reportedly has family.

"We're not going to let the children have passports at all," Terry said. "She will be gone."
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http://bellevue.patch.com/articles/details-emerge-in-case-of-missing-toddler


wow
 
How easy is it to sneak into Canada from Washington State?
 
Police said that after canvassing the Veloce Apartments in Redmond, where the boy lived with his mother, Julia Biryukova, and his 4-year-old sister, the police found just one neighbor who reported seeing the boy within the past two weeks.

Bellevue Police Department spokeswoman Officer Carla Iafrate asked anyone who has seen Sky and Biryukova, 30, in the past few weeks to call the police tip line at 425-452-2564.

"We're talking to anybody in the public who might have a tip. We're talking to neighbors. We're talking to friends. We're talking to people in stores that maybe she's visited. We're just trying to locate who last saw Sky," she said.
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http://bellevue.patch.com/articles/details-emerge-in-case-of-missing-toddler
 
When was the last time they were to their preschool? I have added it to the map (as well as the hospital)

need a local to weigh in but where she claims to have run out of gas is NOT in the direction of the hospital fwiw... (at least as it appears to me)

http://g.co/maps/mxe5w
 
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