I find what he said perfectly believable. He was a stay at home dad with Dylan and ER was working. The "bonding" years are very early on in life.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eqa_attachment_bond.htm
This is giving that usually the primary caregiver is the mother, but, if MR stayed home and ER went back to work that means this bond probably would have been formed with MR. It's important to know, how soon after Dylan's birth did ER go back to work, and how long did MR stay home with Dylan?
I do not think the courts could have given primary custody to MR based on the fact MR was out of town a lot.
Prior to the move, wasn't it noted they had joint/equal custody of Dylan and any primary arrangements were not in place until the move to CS? If that was the case, Dylan
could see his father whenever he wanted when his dad was back in town.
I do wonder what happens when a child develops a primary attachment with a parent, and has the ability after a divorce to see them both equally until an abrupt change occurs and visits with the primary parent are limited/restricted to every few months or so? I am going to delve into that research. I do feel like the things I am reading right now explain why most courts(at least to my understanding) give primary custody to mothers unless there are circumstances that deem that impossible(since mothers are usually the primary caregiver early in life, but it seems here the roles may have been a bit reversed.)
1st BBM - I believe that you are mixing terms, IMO, there is no such thing as primary arrangements with respect to custody. Perhaps temporary arrangements or preliminary arrangements?
When a person files for divorce w/children, the temporary orders establish which parent has physical custody (meaning which residence will be the child's physical residence) they also determine custody of the child, joint or sole (meaning which parent(s) make the decisions about school, church, medical care) then they determine visitation (even if you have joint custody, visitation has to be determined, is Johnny going to be with mom Sunday through Saturday then goes with dad from Sunday through Saturday, whatever the arrangements and at this time if the parents can't agree the judge will decide) Again, those are TEMPORARY orders until the final dissolution is granted.
I can't imagine it taking several years for visitation or custody or residence to be agreed upon and become permanent. However, having experienced numerous court hearings with one of the parties involved, I can see it happening easily.
IIRC in the Denver Post article about the under the window indiscretion incident, the reporter mentioned that they had been separated or divorced and that was in 2005. By 11/18/2012 custody and visitation had long been established, the only reason that it was changed IMO is because of EHs move for a better life for her & Dylan. Proximity to each other made joint custody a challenge and visitation would have to be explored with consideration to travel, school & work.
2nd BBM I really wonder about the use of primary attachment with a parent that IMO discredits all parents and their unique bonding with their children, sort of like Im first, pick me, pick me. IMO children develop relationships with their parents not based on who changed the most diapers. In this case and as you mentioned in your post, we (in general) dont know how long MR was a stay at home dad, nor do we (in general) know what age Dylan was during this adventure of daddy daycare. EH mentioned in DP and it was not disputed or corrected by MR (he in fact has made similar references) that for a few years prior to Dylans disappearance, MRs visitation was sporadic due to his employment. Sporadic, IMO does not mean that Dylan saw both MR & EH equally.
3rd BBM do you have a link where the roles were reversed from early in life? You, yourself, mentioned that it is unknown at what age and for what duration, MR cared for Dylan. We (in general) dont know if roles may have been reversed for a week, a month, a year or how long.