Di, I just read this thread and I cannot believe the tragedy that has struck your family. I can't even begin to imagine how you get through the days. I am so so sorry that this has happened to your family and I just wish that I had some words that could help you in this awful time. As the other WS'ers have said, I'm sending my love and thoughts your way, hoping that all of them help to even the smallest degree.
My aunt died a couple of years ago waiting for a lung transplant. So many people die waiting on those lists. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping four other people to live and by making Ethan a hero at the same time. You helped him to accomplish his goal of saving lives. What a wonderful gift.
When I lost a loved one years ago, this poem helped me to realize that our loved ones are never really gone. They are all around us all the time. I hope it helps you too:
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)
Here are two more:
All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
By Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
Traditional
If I should go tomorrow
It would never be goodbye,
For I have left my heart with you,
So don't you ever cry.
The love that's deep within me,
Shall reach you from the stars,
You'll feel it from the heavens,
And it will heal the scars.
Di, I wish that there was more that I could offer. But please know that your family is in my heart.