Hi, I'm new here but I have been reading w/s for a very long time. First off, not to make excuses for CA because IMO with everything that I have read the likelyhood of her (or any of them) not knowing the truth about what has happened to her granddaughter is very small. I also believe little Caylee is dead and her mom is the one responsible. Again thats my opinion. I would like to say a few words about the not crying and the grieving process. I have been through a lot of close deaths in my family and the grieving process has most certainly been horrible with each one. I do know however the grief from a violent unexpected death is so much more horrible and different, especially when it is your child or grandchild. I am the grandmother of a murdered grandson. Two years ago this December. He was only six months old. While I cried a lot at first as soon as the shock wore off the tears became more infrequent. The pain was and still to this day is so great that mentally it seems my brain could dote out just so much that I could handle. I have read up on this quite a lot. I just could not handle all the pain at once or I would have been put in a psycho ward I'm sure. It took a good year I would say that the grief was felt in its entirety. There were time though after a couple of months that the tears and sobbing would come and it seemed like I would never be able to stop crying. My daughter's grief was different. She basically curled up into a ball and pretty much was paralyzed with the grief of the loss of her child. She stayed like this pretty much for three months. When she was awake she cried, in her sleep she cried. She couldn't even go to her home as the memories were so hard. She stayed here for three months. The hardest thing I have ever went through was not only the loss of my grandchild but the way in which he died. The next hardest was the loss of my daughter as the carefree and funloving person whom I raised is now gone. Now saying all that- I will tell your the person whom critacally injured my grandson causing his death a few days later, the sperm donor whom admitted to purposely having done this because if he couldn't have my daughter then she wouldn't have his child well he showed up at the hospital sobbing, the hearing sobbing, from what I have heard even in his jail cell wailing. At other times he has said and it has gotten back to us that He is saved now, his sins are washed white as snow, he has no trouble sleeping and why should he have nightmares, he asks? It was just an accident. His family? Big Denial there. They actually stood at my gransons casket talking about how there were going to get him off to some of their friends in line. I remember thinking how weird all that he was doing all that fake crying and my own pain was so great that I couldn't cry. I believe that no matter what Cindy knows it will hit her. When the denial ends it will hit her hard. I remember driving down the road and being hit with grief so hard I just started screaming at the top of my lungs. Yes I have seen this denial first hand with my grandsons sperm donor family. They have seen all evidence and they know the truth. They just choose not to comprehend what they know inside. The sd's mom even had the gall to jump on my daughter at the hospital before her son was arrested (we were waiting for the police to arrive with the warrants) because she wanted my daughter to go in and comfort her son because he was hurting so bad. My daughter told her she was crazy for asking that she go be with the person whom had hurt her child. Finally there was a blowup between myself and the mom for her to leave. This denial is still is there 22 months later. I have been told two different times this past week that the family have told others that he is not charged with a crime any more although the trial is coming up the first of the year. Tears are just tears. Sometimes hurting people can't cry, sometimes guilty people will fake crying. People grieve differently. Grief does not happen in the order it is suppose to. Looking at the A's I see them holding on to anything and everything to keep from having to deal with what the reality is. The reality of the death of a murdered loved one (especially a small child) and the knowledge that your own child may be responsible for the death may be just something that mentally they truely can't handle without breaking down completely. I understand the anger towards them as I still have great anger towards the family and friends protecting my grandsons murderer. I understand but that doesn't make me sympathize with them any more so. One day they will have to explain to "The Big Judge" I'm sure.
