CA - Transgender Teen, Who Revealed Honest Tales of Bullying, Takes Own Life

[rosesfromangels]

I doubt the unintentionally. and the well intentioned.

I see. Well, if that is the case, then this should make for an interesting civil suit I would think. However, it will never bring the child back.
All this being said Tangelo, how would you have handled this if it were your child? Please continue to be as frank as you have been.

 

[gitana1]

It’s been hell': Transgender teen, 16, who shared horrific stories of bullying at school takes her own life - the seventh such suicide this year.

Walk in her shoes. Then say it's not bullying.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...fornia-kills-self-bullying.html#ixzz3XUnkrXdp

Fixed that for ya! And do some more reading. She was bullied.

Tulessa, I really love you.

read em all. find one that details any bullying. criticism over clothing choice isnt bullying. or is it these days?

Her youtube video. She says that a fellow student posted a photo of her in a swim suit, I think it was, calling her a f@ggot. That post was liked 700 times with hundreds of hurtful and hateful comments by others, underneath it. I would qualify calling someone an epithet like that bullying, and the effect is much worse, especially when done on social media.

BBM. Yeah it can be! When I was in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade, I was bullied, and some of it was because of what I wore. I had no choice because my mother picked out what I was going to wear and bought/sewed all my clothes.

When I was a child, we didn't have money. I wore my brother's hand me down Toughskins in the 5th -7th grades. I was MERCILESSLY harassed. Groups of girls would surround me when no one was watching and mock my clothes, my socks, me - "Look at her. Look at her jeans!! Ha ha! You look like a rag. God, look at those socks!" They'd get in my face, inches from it and tell me how ugly my outfits were and how ugly I looked.

I was a small kid and scared but ended up fist fighting quite a bit, certain (but scared) I had to stand up for myself. It made me tough and I regret nothing but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not everyone makes it through years of harassment like that unscathed. I guess I didn't either after all. Because for years I dreamed of working with kids that age group, being a teacher and making sure no one was bullied in my classes.

And yeah, it's bullying. Oh and by the way? I don't care if it was exacerbated by this girl trying to stand up for a cause some feel she was too young to champion. Bullying is never okay and never "asked for".

Sick of the victim shaming or bully apologists. No excuses, people.

 

[Tawny]

Sick of the victim shaming or bully apologists. No excuses, people.

RSBM I 1000000% agree. It blows my tiny mind that the "helpful suggestion" is often something along the lines "Don't wear it if you don't want the attention it brings" instead of "how can we teach people bullying is not ok?". Blows my mind.

 

[LaborDayRN]

Tulessa, I really love you.



Her youtube video. She says that a fellow student posted a photo of her in a swim suit, I think it was, calling her a f@ggot. That post was liked 700 times with hundreds of hurtful and hateful comments by others, underneath it. I would qualify calling someone an epithet like that bullying, and the effect is much worse, especially when done on social media.



When I was a child, we didn't have money. I wore my brother's hand me down Toughskins in the 5th -7th grades. I was MERCILESSLY harassed. Groups of girls would surround me when no one was watching and mock my clothes, my socks, me - "Look at her. Look at her jeans!! Ha ha! You look like a rag. God, look at those socks!" They'd get in my face, inches from it and tell me how ugly my outfits were and how ugly I looked.

I was a small kid and scared but ended up fist fighting quite a bit, certain (but scared) I had to stand up for myself. It made me tough and I regret nothing but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not everyone makes it through years of harassment like that unscathed. I guess I didn't either after all. Because for years I dreamed of working with kids that age group, being a teacher and making sure no one was bullied in my classes.

And yeah, it's bullying. Oh and by the way? I don't care if it was exacerbated by this girl trying to stand up for a cause some feel she was too young to champion. Bullying is never okay and never "asked for".

Sick of the victim shaming or bully apologists. No excuses, people.

:clap::tyou:

 

[zapped]

So let me pose a question to everyone on this thread. If you had of been this child's parent, how would you have handled this? What would you have done in the situation of a child who was presenting themselves in clothing other than their bio gender....and being ridiculed? What would you do?

What would I do?

Let me preface this by saying that I believe that not all bullying is bad.

Some "bullying" serves a legitimate function.

Gross I know, but say a kid is picking and eating his own boogers at the lunch table.The kid gets taunted and teased about it often enough that he eventually stops.

Was this "bullying" bad or good?

In a case of my child getting bullied for wearing an outfit that's not bio gender appropriate, they would never leave my house like that in the first place. I know first hand how cruel kids can be and there is such a thing as asking for trouble.

Theres plenty of time to express ones self in college where people are generally more mature and accepting.

IMO a lot of this stems from parents refusing to be parents and trying to be their child's best friend instead.Children (and yes even teenagers) are not little adults and shouldn't be treated as such until theyve earned that right and shown the maturity necessary for the role.

As far as suicide goes, its one of the most selfish acts a person can commit and is absolutely inexcusable under any circumstances IMO.

Its also kind of dumb in this case.

Those people hate and pick on me and make fun of me so Ill just kill myself............yeah that will show em.

 

[Tawny]

IMHO, the only thing bullying someone for their attire and 'look' does is force everyone to conform to one certain set of standards.

I agree that it stems from parents not parenting, except that I feel parents let their precious angels kick and throw sand in the preschool days and don't discipline them in early life.

 

[gitana1]

What would I do?

Let me preface this by saying that I believe that not all bullying is bad.

Some "bullying" serves a legitimate function.

Gross I know, but say a kid is picking and eating his own boogers at the lunch table.The kid gets taunted and teased about it often enough that he eventually stops.

Was this "bullying" bad or good?

In a case of my child getting bullied for wearing an outfit that's not bio gender appropriate, they would never leave my house like that in the first place. I know first hand how cruel kids can be and there is such a thing as asking for trouble.

Theres plenty of time to express ones self in college where people are generally more mature and accepting.

IMO a lot of this stems from parents refusing to be parents and trying to be their child's best friend instead.Children (and yes even teenagers) are not little adults and shouldn't be treated as such until theyve earned that right and shown the maturity necessary for the role.

As far as suicide goes, its one of the most selfish acts a person can commit and is absolutely inexcusable under any circumstances IMO.

Its also kind of dumb in this case.

Those people hate and pick on me and make fun of me so Ill just kill myself............yeah that will show em.

It sort of appears that your posts suggests that suicide is always inexcusable, but bullying of children may be excusable, which is a significant double standard, IMO.

Further, the post seems to suggest that bullying of those who do not conform to socially constructed gender norms serves a legitimate function. By that do you mean that it serves to force kids to conform to those gender norms? It may. It also causes some of them to kill themselves.

It's fine if some feel a child should not be able to express their identity with non-conforming dress until college. It is not fine that anyone, IMO, may think any form of bullying that addresses kids who do not have parents who feel that way, is ever appropriate or legitimate in any way, shape or form.

Also, I think we all need to understand what bullying really is. Telling a kid once, ''Oooh, Josh, that's gross! quit eating your boogers!" is quite different from re-posting photos of the child, mocking the child's appearance and labeling him or her with epithets like f@ggot, with dozens of people posting means-spirited things about the child, over and over again.

A direct example of bullying using the booger eating example would be children continually mocking the booger-eater, telling him that he's horrible, will be burning in hell, maliciously whispering, over and over again, whenever a teacher is not present or listening, "dirty booger eater. No one likes you, you creep."

It appears that some adults sanction bullying, either overtly or covertly, because the bullies are enforcing stereotypes or reinforcing the adult's world view, or prejudices or biases, so suddenly, conduct that cannot and should not ever be condoned, is somehow okay.

Such an attitude is sad, IMO. Bullying in any form is never okay, and should never be allowed. It serves no legitimate purpose even if it serves to support the biases of certain parts of our society. To me, the only purpose it serves in such a context is to punish a child for not conforming to the prejudices of others. That's not okay.

 

[LinasK]

It sort of appears that your posts suggests that suicide is always inexcusable, but bullying of children may be excusable, which is a significant double standard, IMO.

Further, the post seems to suggest that bullying of those who do not conform to socially constructed gender norms serves a legitimate function. By that do you mean that it serves to force kids to conform to those gender norms? It may. It also causes some of them to kill themselves.

It's fine if some feel a child should not be able to express their identity with non-conforming dress until college. It is not fine that anyone, IMO, may think any form of bullying that addresses kids who do not have parents who feel that way, is ever appropriate or legitimate in any way, shape or form.

Also, I think we all need to understand what bullying really is. Telling a kid once, ''Oooh, Josh, that's gross! quit eating your boogers!" is quite different from re-posting photos of the child, mocking the child's appearance and labeling him or her with epithets like f@ggot, with dozens of people posting means-spirited things about the child, over and over again.

A direct example of bullying using the booger eating example would be children continually mocking the booger-eater, telling him that he's horrible, will be burning in hell, maliciously whispering, over and over again, whenever a teacher is not present or listening, "dirty booger eater. No one likes you, you creep."

It appears that some adults sanction bullying, either overtly or covertly, because the bullies are enforcing stereotypes or reinforcing the adult's world view, or prejudices or biases, so suddenly, conduct that cannot and should not ever be condoned, is somehow okay.

Such an attitude is sad, IMO. Bullying in any form is never okay, and should never be allowed. It serves no legitimate purpose even if it serves to support the biases of certain parts of our society. To me, the only purpose it serves in such a context is to punish a child for not conforming to the prejudices of others. That's not okay.

I so agree with your whole post Gitana, but my thanks button will not let me.:clap::clap::clap:

 

[Tawny]

It sort of appears that your posts suggests that suicide is always inexcusable, but bullying of children may be excusable, which is a significant double standard, IMO.

Further, the post seems to suggest that bullying of those who do not conform to socially constructed gender norms serves a legitimate function. By that do you mean that it serves to force kids to conform to those gender norms? It may. It also causes some of them to kill themselves.

It's fine if some feel a child should not be able to express their identity with non-conforming dress until college. It is not fine that anyone, IMO, may think any form of bullying that addresses kids who do not have parents who feel that way, is ever appropriate or legitimate in any way, shape or form.

Also, I think we all need to understand what bullying really is. Telling a kid once, ''Oooh, Josh, that's gross! quit eating your boogers!" is quite different from re-posting photos of the child, mocking the child's appearance and labeling him or her with epithets like f@ggot, with dozens of people posting means-spirited things about the child, over and over again.

A direct example of bullying using the booger eating example would be children continually mocking the booger-eater, telling him that he's horrible, will be burning in hell, maliciously whispering, over and over again, whenever a teacher is not present or listening, "dirty booger eater. No one likes you, you creep."

It appears that some adults sanction bullying, either overtly or covertly, because the bullies are enforcing stereotypes or reinforcing the adult's world view, or prejudices or biases, so suddenly, conduct that cannot and should not ever be condoned, is somehow okay.

Such an attitude is sad, IMO. Bullying in any form is never okay, and should never be allowed. It serves no legitimate purpose even if it serves to support the biases of certain parts of our society. To me, the only purpose it serves in such a context is to punish a child for not conforming to the prejudices of others. That's not okay.

Just... all of this. Bullying reinforces the adult's world view. Yes. Precisely.