GUILTY Canada - Amanda Todd, 15, posts anti-bullying video apparently kills herself, 2012 *arrests*

[logicalgirl]

Interesting that even radaronline has picked this up but you will see the name of the alleged stalker cyber-bully pornographer has been redacted.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/10/anonymous-outs-sexual-harasser-teen-suicide-video

 

[Reader]

The Tragic Case of Amanda Todd

............But whatever becomes of the instigator of this terrible story, I think we need to remember the victim. Amanda Todd wasn’t able to protect herself: she wasn’t the villain, but she was treated like one. If we want to stop bullying, we can’t allow the ongoing targeting of those who can’t defend themselves to be seen as acceptable. We need to ask: what is wrong with a society in which other adolescents can see a 12-year-old who is blackmailed by a pedophile as a “*advertiser censored* star,” rather than a victim of child sexual abuse? How have we gotten here?

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/10/16/the-tragic-case-of-amanda-todd/#ixzz29WBSzKja

 

[Sillybilly]

I could almost substitute Amanda's name with my beautiful grandson, except he was called fat and *advertiser censored***t and tormented mercilessly Grades 1 through 9 when we finally took him out of school. He had his cheekbone broken because someone didn't like the pants he was wearing. He was dragged out of a store and beaten by grown men who didn't know him, but thought he "looked gay". The only different outcome in his case was "something" told me to come home early one day to find him unresponsive from an overdose, with letters written to all of us about how much he loved us but couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately, he survived because that "something" told me to go home.

Principals did nothing about the offenders (oh, so-and-so is a good student or a good athlete); LE did nothing about the offenders (oh well, you know how it was when we were kids), etc. Nobody was held accountable, there was no justice and the scars will always be there. Having lost both my children, living daily with the fear that something could happen to my grandson was almost more than I could bear. My heart is broken for what others did to my beautiful young boy who simply wasn't one of the mainstream, the jocks or the thugs. Way too much to go into here, but he is a young adult now who is so glad his suicide attempt was not successful. Like Amanda, he didn't really want to die, but he didn't want the pain anymore.

Unlike my grandson whose life was a living hell, his tormenters got their education and even successful careers.

I pray for zero tolerance in the schools, and IMO, bullying should constitute a hate crime and accordingly be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. My sweet young man is following Amanda's case along with me .. both of us hoping and praying that Amanda's legacy can be to somehow make a difference for the victims of bullying.

 

[Sillybilly]

Well said ...

Guest column: It’s time to make bullying a Criminal Code offence

full article at:
http://blogs.theprovince.com/2012/1...ime-to-make-bullying-a-criminal-code-offence/

 

[Sonya610]

Did the parents allow her to have Internet access all of this time at home? Does anyone know?

I ask because the first incident when she was 12 was pretty disturbing, yet a few weeks ago she posted the suicide Youtube video which would have caused another VERY harsh reaction especially since she supposedly used her real name.

 

[logicalgirl]

Did the parents allow her to have Internet access all of this time at home? Does anyone know?

I ask because the first incident when she was 12 was pretty disturbing, yet a few weeks ago she posted the suicide Youtube video which would have caused another VERY harsh reaction especially since she supposedly used her real name.

that's a good question and something I wondered about. It looks like despite the bullying on facebook, she continually remained online. It is a big deal with kids. It seems like it was online approval and recognition she was looking for. Very sad since it isn't even a "real" world.

 

[logicalgirl]

I agree.

But, did LE know of this alleged person prior to the information being found seemingly very quickly by Anon? What if this alleged person is indeed actually one of the perpetrators of a criminal act in this case?

It's my opinion that LE is very, very behind the times for the most part, and have their legal hands tied, with respect to getting information regarding online activities. The cogs in the wheels can be very slow.

That being said, I in no way wish to see vigilante justice in Amanda's case, and I agree about watching our posts.

The info is out there, and I was linking to it, for anyone wishing to read it for themselves.

After watching some of the Capper Videos, it is clear to me that there is a whole underground of this stuff going on, not to mention the fact that teens and pre-teens, adults too, are using webcams, phones, the Internet for things that could get them in serious trouble. A picture or a video lasts forever, especially on the Internet.

In my opinion, parents are not generally aware of the extent of what is going on, and I hope Amanda's terrible death opens some eyes on what is occurring online and otherwise.

This is an article explaining why cyberbullies are difficult to track and identify through legitimate means - it's a bit lengthy but worth reading to understand how people hide behind IP addressess.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2012/10/16/f-tracking-online-identity.html

 

[JeannaT]

I'm sorry for what happened to your grandson.

What happened to him, though, already IS a crime. it's a crime to break someone's cheekbone with no provocation, or for an adult to beat up a child. Those are crimes and could have been prosecuted under the current existing framework of laws. There don't need to be new laws to deal with what happened to him - only prosecutors who will prosecute correctly.

In my school district for several years we went a bit 'round the bend with punishing "bullying" to the point that sweet hearted nice kids had permanent discipline records that kept them from Honor Society and Homecoming Court. If you create anti-bullying statutes, you have to be REALLY careful that you're not going to punish good natured young boys jockeying for top dog position, or kids giving much-needed feedback to their peers for behaviors, or joking at something that's truly funny in a light hearted way - giggling when something is truly funny and then quickly ending it. That's the kind of stuff some kids in my district were punished for - and it's as unfair as not prosecuting actual crimes when they occur. It's too far the other way.

How is your grandson now?

I could almost substitute Amanda's name with my beautiful grandson, except he was called fat and *advertiser censored***t and tormented mercilessly Grades 1 through 9 when we finally took him out of school. He had his cheekbone broken because someone didn't like the pants he was wearing. He was dragged out of a store and beaten by grown men who didn't know him, but thought he "looked gay". The only different outcome in his case was "something" told me to come home early one day to find him unresponsive from an overdose, with letters written to all of us about how much he loved us but couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately, he survived because that "something" told me to go home.

Principals did nothing about the offenders (oh, so-and-so is a good student or a good athlete); LE did nothing about the offenders (oh well, you know how it was when we were kids), etc. Nobody was held accountable, there was no justice and the scars will always be there. Having lost both my children, living daily with the fear that something could happen to my grandson was almost more than I could bear. My heart is broken for what others did to my beautiful young boy who simply wasn't one of the mainstream, the jocks or the thugs. Way too much to go into here, but he is a young adult now who is so glad his suicide attempt was not successful. Like Amanda, he didn't really want to die, but he didn't want the pain anymore.

Unlike my grandson whose life was a living hell, his tormenters got their education and even successful careers.

I pray for zero tolerance in the schools, and IMO, bullying should constitute a hate crime and accordingly be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. My sweet young man is following Amanda's case along with me .. both of us hoping and praying that Amanda's legacy can be to somehow make a difference for the victims of bullying.

 

[Wondergirl]

I could almost substitute Amanda's name with my beautiful grandson, except he was called fat and *advertiser censored***t and tormented mercilessly Grades 1 through 9 when we finally took him out of school. He had his cheekbone broken because someone didn't like the pants he was wearing. He was dragged out of a store and beaten by grown men who didn't know him, but thought he "looked gay". The only different outcome in his case was "something" told me to come home early one day to find him unresponsive from an overdose, with letters written to all of us about how much he loved us but couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately, he survived because that "something" told me to go home.

Principals did nothing about the offenders (oh, so-and-so is a good student or a good athlete); LE did nothing about the offenders (oh well, you know how it was when we were kids), etc. Nobody was held accountable, there was no justice and the scars will always be there. Having lost both my children, living daily with the fear that something could happen to my grandson was almost more than I could bear. My heart is broken for what others did to my beautiful young boy who simply wasn't one of the mainstream, the jocks or the thugs. Way too much to go into here, but he is a young adult now who is so glad his suicide attempt was not successful. Like Amanda, he didn't really want to die, but he didn't want the pain anymore.

Unlike my grandson whose life was a living hell, his tormenters got their education and even successful careers.

I pray for zero tolerance in the schools, and IMO, bullying should constitute a hate crime and accordingly be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. My sweet young man is following Amanda's case along with me .. both of us hoping and praying that Amanda's legacy can be to somehow make a difference for the victims of bullying.

So very sorry to hear that, SB.

Hugs to you and your beautiful grandson. :grouphug:

 

[Wondergirl]

This is an article explaining why cyberbullies are difficult to track and identify through legitimate means - it's a bit lengthy but worth reading to understand how people hide behind IP addressess.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2012/10/16/f-tracking-online-identity.html

Great article, thanks for posting. Extremely relevant, and well researched.

Another problem is that people can also use software and proxy servers to mask their true IP address.

"You can use a proxy machine, meaning instead of connecting directly from my computer, I connect to another computer and from there I make those posts," says Christin, who notes that it's "relatively easy to anonymize" your traffic on the internet.

People could also use something like the Tor network, free online software that Christin says is fairly easy to download and is "essentially a peer-to-peer network that is not used for file sharing. It's a peer-to-peer network that is used to anonymize data over the internet."

Say someone used Tor to go to the CBC.ca website and post a comment — the CBC.ca website, instead of seeing the IP address of the actual machine from which the visit is coming would see the IP address of one of the machines that participates in the Tor network

Finding the true IP address in that instance "is going to be essentially impossible," says Christin.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2012/10/16/f-tracking-online-identity.html

 

[hellinor]

Did the parents allow her to have Internet access all of this time at home? Does anyone know?

I ask because the first incident when she was 12 was pretty disturbing, yet a few weeks ago she posted the suicide Youtube video which would have caused another VERY harsh reaction especially since she supposedly used her real name.

This was what I thought as well. It may not even have been at home, as she said on the cards in the video that she and her friends would go on webcam to meet people. I guess parents need to understand not only the importance of supervising your kids' online use, but knowing how much your child's friends' parents supervise their online use. No 12 year-old should be able to flash a webcam in the first place, an adult should be monitoring.

 

[logicalgirl]

This was what I thought as well. It may not even have been at home, as she said on the cards in the video that she and her friends would go on webcam to meet people. I guess parents need to understand not only the importance of supervising your kids' online use, but knowing how much your child's friends' parents supervise their online use. No 12 year-old should be able to flash a webcam in the first place, an adult should be monitoring.

Agree but do think an important component of this whole thing is having "the talk" with kids about why this is such a bad thing and what can happen to them that lasts forever. They think they are having fun when it could very easily turn out to be something that scars them for a long time.

I do think kids need to be taught the art of consequences and sequencing ahead in time with all the what ifs before taking a risk.

 

[Sillybilly]

I'm sorry for what happened to your grandson.

What happened to him, though, already IS a crime. it's a crime to break someone's cheekbone with no provocation, or for an adult to beat up a child. Those are crimes and could have been prosecuted under the current existing framework of laws. There don't need to be new laws to deal with what happened to him - only prosecutors who will prosecute correctly.

In my school district for several years we went a bit 'round the bend with punishing "bullying" to the point that sweet hearted nice kids had permanent discipline records that kept them from Honor Society and Homecoming Court. If you create anti-bullying statutes, you have to be REALLY careful that you're not going to punish good natured young boys jockeying for top dog position, or kids giving much-needed feedback to their peers for behaviors, or joking at something that's truly funny in a light hearted way - giggling when something is truly funny and then quickly ending it. That's the kind of stuff some kids in my district were punished for - and it's as unfair as not prosecuting actual crimes when they occur. It's too far the other way.

How is your grandson now?

Sorry Jeanna, in trying to summarize, my post wasn't very clear. The school bullying (the taunts, name-calling) never resulted in consequences for the offenders (no detentions, suspensions, expulsions). In addition to those in-school, non-criminal issues, he received an email from another student "you useless piece of monkey-$h!t ...even if you go to the police, remember that around every corner is another fist with your name written on it". We took that email to both the principal and the police with absolutely no action taken (the good student/athlete response from admin, and the "you know how it was when we were kids" from LE).

WRT the criminal issue of his cheekbone being broken by another student off school property, the young offender WAS charged, went through youth restorative justice, and wrote an apology. In fairness to that young man, he did offer to apologize in person, but my grandson didn't wish to meet with him. WRT the criminal issue where the adults assaulted him, although LE had a licence plate, they could not produce a picture for my grandson to identify anyone.

My grandson came to believe he was a "weirdo" and became almost agorophobic. He became very angry and turned to cutting, drugs and alcohol. Through his own sheer determination however, he was ultimately able to stop those behaviours and is finally getting back to being his usual sweet, sensitive, kind and caring self. He still struggles greatly with trying to understand how/why he was treated this way through the years.

 

[Sillybilly]

Agree but do think an important component of this whole thing is having "the talk" with kids about why this is such a bad thing and what can happen to them that lasts forever. They think they are having fun when it could very easily turn out to be something that scars them for a long time.

I do think kids need to be taught the art of consequences and sequencing ahead in time with all the what ifs before taking a risk.

Part of the problem is that teenage brains, regardless of "the talk", are not wired like the adult brain .. while seeking pleasure and reward, they don't necessarily have the capability to foresee consequences in the same way that an adult brain might.

Excerpt from a good read on the complexities of the teenage brain:

So what does it mean to have an undeveloped prefrontal cortex in conjunction with a strong desire for reward? As it happens, this combination could explain a lot of stereotypical teenage behavior.

full article:
http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/nervous-system/teenage-brain1.htm

 

[Sillybilly]

Let's face it, kids will always do "stupid things" and make some poor choices along the way. IMO, trying to tie Amanda's bullying to what she did when she was an immature 12 year old is akin to the draconian-style thinking of blaming the rape victim because her blouse was a bit too revealing. The problem here does not stem so much from the victim's action, but from the lack of empathy, the skewed thinking and actions of the power & control perpetrators, the bullies.

 

[logicalgirl]

Part of the problem is that teenage brains, regardless of "the talk", are not wired like the adult brain .. while seeking pleasure and reward, they don't necessarily have the capability to foresee consequences in the same way that an adult brain might.

Excerpt from a good read on the complexities of the teenage brain:



full article:
http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/nervous-system/teenage-brain1.htm

I somewhat agree and wasn't trying to put the blame on the victim, but on the other hand we were discussing the responsibilities of parents - and I think while we can supervise digilently, kids will find a way to do what they want.

And yes, I agree they will make mistakes and will probably continue to make them as adults as part of our learning process, but I do believe and found for myself that introducing the concept of consequences as a way of thinking very early on in a child's live can help them make better decisions as they make their way in the world.

 

[Sillybilly]

I somewhat agree and wasn't trying to put the blame on the victim, but on the other hand we were discussing the responsibilities of parents - and I think while we can supervise digilently, kids will find a way to do what they want.

And yes, I agree they will make mistakes and will probably continue to make them as adults as part of our learning process, but I do believe and found for myself that introducing the concept of consequences as a way of thinking very early on in a child's live can help them make better decisions as they make their way in the world.

Oh no, i wasn't directing that post at you or anyone in particular. (In fact, i was going to add a tag that "this post lands at random", but didn't want to come across as trying to imitate a Mod).

Parenting 101 ... consequences and empathy need to be instilled at a very early age.

 

[Sonya610]

Part of the problem is that teenage brains, regardless of "the talk", are not wired like the adult brain .. while seeking pleasure and reward, they don't necessarily have the capability to foresee consequences in the same way that an adult brain might.[/url]

Uhhh....to a limited degree. The fact is the vast majority of teens DO have the ability to foresee consequences, if they didn't most would END UP IN JAIL for stealing, assault, rape, etc...

Regarding continued access to the internet, since much of the bullying with Amanda started and continued online then I certainly hope SOMEONE was carefully limiting her online access.

That last youtube video could be expected to get a TREMENDOUS amount of negative comments online and in real life especially if her full name was used. The girl already had severe emotional problems, if she was allowed to access the internet and post something like that then someone messed up BIG TIME.

 

[Sillybilly]

Uhhh....to a limited degree. The fact is the vast majority of teens DO have the ability to foresee consequences, if they didn't most would END UP IN JAIL for stealing, assault, rape, etc...

Regarding continued access to the internet, since much of the bullying with Amanda started and continued online then I certainly hope SOMEONE was carefully limiting her online access.

That last youtube video could be expected to get a TREMENDOUS amount of negative comments online and in real life especially if her full name was used. The girl already had severe emotional problems, if she was allowed to access the internet and post something like that then someone messed up BIG TIME.

The big word there is "ability". There are kids who don't have it and are therefore vulnerable. Are we then to blame the children whose brains are NOT YET functioning in that fashion? They don't deserve to be bullied because they didn't make the right choice at the right time.

Our brains didn't function at an adult level when we were kids ... physiologically they are probably no different than the teenage brains of today. BUT, we did not have to deal with growing up in a time with the rate of change / progress(?) over the last 50 years is the highest rate in history.

Amanda's last youtube video was an ANTI-BULLYING message! She had experience with bullying and its associated devastating emotional conflicts and was speaking out against it. Why do you feel Amanda should not have done so?

 

[Sonya610]

Amanda's last youtube video was an ANTI-BULLYING message! She had experience with bullying and its associated devastating emotional conflicts and was speaking out against it. Why do you feel Amanda should not have done so?

1) She stated in the video that she flashed her *advertiser censored* online (i.e. admitted to creating child *advertiser censored*) at the age 12 because a man online asked her too
2) She stated she had been in a mental hospital for suicidal tendencies, she is depressed, she cuts herself, and has no social life
3) She included her REAL NAME with the above and posted it on Youtube

Unless she was already planning to take her own life, that video would have caused her MANY MANY more problems both online and in real life (problems with people, possibly employers, maybe even legal problems).

Can't you see that?