Could You Talk Face to Face with Casey and Get Her to Open Up?

[Cat13067]

I would like to see what makes her tick, however she has convinced herself she did not murder Caylee. Now if someone could give her an injection of truth serum (which I think should be legal) I would pay admission to watch someone talk with her.

 

[sharpar]

Nope and neither will anyone else - Last thing KC wants is to face the truth about herself, her life, her choices, she is in the dark and is quite content to stay there- I
am fine with letting her as long as she is behind bars - I'm good.

 

[tiredofthis]

Not in this lifetime! She believes her own lies and by now has convinced herself she had nothing to do with Caylee's death.

 

[Omachka]

After seeing what has happened to most of the others who have inserted themselves into this case... not in a million years! Even if I had the training or enough compassion and patience. She is one of life's few lost causes. She believes her own lies to the extent that if she ever told the truth it would be KC truth and not real truth. It's risky and had no reward... ask LP. He wasted a lot of money for that opportunity and it didn't do anything but get him thrown out of their house inside of 5 minutes. In fact, if he lived here instead of all the way across the country, he would have been sent straight under the bus once they found Caylee.

 

[SleuthyMama]

Once upon a time, when I was younger and idealistic, I believed I could change people just by loving them enough, or providing the right type of support.

Now, at 41 years old, I have realized that no one is changing unless they want to and I don't have the patience to deal with that bullchit anyway.

So, to make a long post short....no.

 

[Curious Me]

bbm

This is the very thing that KC has been missing her whole life - IMO. You are feeling compelled to offer the Anthony's the very thing they never offered themselves. You offer "unconditional warmth and kindness" which is a whole new concept for this family. This approach offers humans the opportunity to be a good person with flaws. I don't think this was allowed in this family because any flaw means total uselessness. This is why I believe KC always felt the need to lie her way through life until she was faced with the obvious and then she would lie about who was responsible. KC has never truly experienced being accepted for just being her - she felt she had to perform in some way to get positive responses from parents, friends, etc. If you couldn't be perfect - then at least always give the illusion. (her female problems turned immaculate conception by a Father of the Baby who died before he was identified).

I believe the only way to get KC to open up to anyone is to begin to allow her to trust that opening up will not hurt her. I think that will only happen after she is convicted and sentenced - she will have nothing left to lose. At that point - she can be a human with a flaw, but still assume her role (from family expectations) that those with flaws are useless. All of the above is my opinion.

ps. Yes, it does take a person with training and recognition of their own issues to be able to take on such a task. At least the people who are saying they couldn't talk to KC without unleashing their own rage at her are being honest with their own feelings. (Something I don't think kc was ever allowed to do).

BBM I don't understand how you can say that. This weird family works to love your flaws so much they cover for you. I say if your parents still love you after you've (probably) killed their grandchild that it is close to an unconditional love in its sickest form. The very belief that you should be expected to be loved unconditionally is rather dreamy. Actions have consequences, most religions report God does have conditions.

Please, I do respect your opinion, but do you actually think the right person could get KC to see reality or to feel much at all for another human being?


Yes, quoting myself to add....KC will be in for a big surprise when she meets her Maker. Where's my unconditional love and my chili!

Again, I think the A Family did overlook quite a few of KC's flaws. They listened to her BS all the time, and tried to believe some of it. It is extremely hard to get someone like KC in any kind of consistent therapy that would change behavior, but more important thought processes. I can't see anyone being close enough to KC ever to get anywhere with her.

 

[Bobbisangel]

Once upon a time, when I was younger and idealistic, I believed I could change people just by loving them enough, or providing the right type of support.

Now, at 41 years old, I have realized that no one is changing unless they want to and I don't have the patience to deal with that bullchit anyway.

So, to make a long post short....no.

Same here but I'm a lot older then you! Casey will never be honest with anyone. I just wonder if she even realizes that she isn't playing with a full deck? People that lie about everything come to believe their own lies and I think that Casey does believe her own lies. She probably really believes that Zanny the Nanny took Caylee and harmed her. I know she believes she is going to walk right out of that courtroom and go home after the trial.

 

[Bobbisangel]

Once upon a time, when I was younger and idealistic, I believed I could change people just by loving them enough, or providing the right type of support.

Now, at 41 years old, I have realized that no one is changing unless they want to and I don't have the patience to deal with that bullchit anyway.

So, to make a long post short....no.

Same here but I'm a lot older then you! Casey will never be honest with anyone. I just wonder if she even realizes that she isn't playing with a full deck? People that lie about everything come to believe their own lies and I think that Casey does believe her own lies. She probably really believes that Zanny the Nanny took Caylee and harmed her. I know she believes she is going to walk right out of that courtroom and go home after the trial.

 

[Curious Me]

Way down deep inside KC remembers exactly what happened to Caylee. She does believe her own lies, but every once in awhile someone paints the pic in reality like JA did and she starts to squirm. She knows what she did. She knows what she did to Caylee.

 

[littlemisslegal]

i read all our posts and feel so many of us have experienced life events that put us in positons of dealing with all types of people. some of us truly believe that one point in time we thought we could change someones behavior. some thought if we loved more, loved less, gave more we would influence changing the world. some of us dealt with types who became our ex hubbys- ex- friends. i for one was fooled by some i gave my heart and soul to. i now know i can not change anyone- i can only change my reaction to it. if i sat in front of casey and could talk--i would somehow want to let her know it does not matter if she cried, laughed or felt no one would ever believe her. i would say how many times when you told truth did someone make you feel you lied? how many times when you lied was your life easier and you felt loved ? i had a young 21 year old live in my home who was not my child but a girlfriend of my kids- she lied like casey. she said she went to work for months- i never asked for a penny. we found out she went shoppping everyday and fired from job months back , she got up every day and lied. she was abused emotion by her family. we opened our heart and home to her . our home became crazy as her. when one person is sick in head it effect entire family. she turned our home into a nightmere years back. we had to get an injunction against her. we loved her as a daughter and she was not even ours. we loved her enough to kick her out. we helped her get help. so i lived with someone like her casey. i am like cindy- aggresive and try to save the world. it does not always work. bless those who have lived with a liar- jmo can not imagine if someone i loved killed someone.

 

[Cat13067]

Same here but I'm a lot older then you! Casey will never be honest with anyone. I just wonder if she even realizes that she isn't playing with a full deck? People that lie about everything come to believe their own lies and I think that Casey does believe her own lies. She probably really believes that Zanny the Nanny took Caylee and harmed her. I know she believes she is going to walk right out of that courtroom and go home after the trial.

I think JB reminds her that O.J. was aquitted for murder, and she too will walk out the door, and go straight to the beach. Sadly for ICA she believes him 100%.

 

[LinasK]

bbm

This is the very thing that KC has been missing her whole life - IMO. You are feeling compelled to offer the Anthony's the very thing they never offered themselves. You offer "unconditional warmth and kindness" which is a whole new concept for this family. This approach offers humans the opportunity to be a good person with flaws. I don't think this was allowed in this family because any flaw means total uselessness. This is why I believe KC always felt the need to lie her way through life until she was faced with the obvious and then she would lie about who was responsible. KC has never truly experienced being accepted for just being her - she felt she had to perform in some way to get positive responses from parents, friends, etc. If you couldn't be perfect - then at least always give the illusion. (her female problems turned immaculate conception by a Father of the Baby who died before he was identified).

I believe the only way to get KC to open up to anyone is to begin to allow her to trust that opening up will not hurt her. I think that will only happen after she is convicted and sentenced - she will have nothing left to lose. At that point - she can be a human with a flaw, but still assume her role (from family expectations) that those with flaws are useless. All of the above is my opinion.

ps. Yes, it does take a person with training and recognition of their own issues to be able to take on such a task. At least the people who are saying they couldn't talk to KC without unleashing their own rage at her are being honest with their own feelings. (Something I don't think kc was ever allowed to do).

BBM I don't understand how you can say that. This weird family works to love your flaws so much they cover for you. I say if your parents still love you after you've (probably) killed their grandchild that it is close to an unconditional love in its sickest form. The very belief that you should be expected to be loved unconditionally is rather dreamy. Actions have consequences, most religions report God does have conditions.

Please, I do respect your opinion, but do you actually think the right person could get KC to see reality or to feel much at all for another human being?


Yes, quoting myself to add....KC will be in for a big surprise when she meets her Maker. Where's my unconditional love and my chili!

Again, I think the A Family did overlook quite a few of KC's flaws. They listened to her BS all the time, and tried to believe some of it. It is extremely hard to get someone like KC in any kind of consistent therapy that would change behavior, but more important thought processes. I can't see anyone being close enough to KC ever to get anywhere with her.

This is what I consider how you should offer love and support, NOT unconditionally:

I think of the class and aplomb shown by Jeffrey Dahmer's father, Lionel & Mark Hacking's parents as the epitome of how to act under those circumstances. God forbid but if ever faced with anything along those lines, they would be my role models.

 

[kaRN]

No I couldn't visit and get her to talk. She'd sense my contempt the moment our eyes locked. I wouldn't waste a visit trying anyway. I'd make her listen until she made a fist and threw the receiver down.

 

[wenwe4]

BBM I don't understand how you can say that. This weird family works to love your flaws so much they cover for you. I say if your parents still love you after you've (probably) killed their grandchild that it is close to an unconditional love in its sickest form. The very belief that you should be expected to be loved unconditionally is rather dreamy. Actions have consequences, most religions report God does have conditions.

Please, I do respect your opinion, but do you actually think the right person could get KC to see reality or to feel much at all for another human being?


Yes, quoting myself to add....KC will be in for a big surprise when she meets her Maker. Where's my unconditional love and my chili!

Again, I think the A Family did overlook quite a few of KC's flaws. They listened to her BS all the time, and tried to believe some of it. It is extremely hard to get someone like KC in any kind of consistent therapy that would change behavior, but more important thought processes. I can't see anyone being close enough to KC ever to get anywhere with her.

To be fair . . . . . I didn't say unconditional "love" - I said unconditional "warmth and kindness". What I meant is I believe the only opportunity to get KC to begin to open up and face her past and her lies is to offer a safe, warm and kind environment to do so. I know that most people could not put their own anger aside to be able to have this type of conversation with her. But keep in mind there are trained professionals (counselors/therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists) who work with many people who have demonstrated abhorrent behaviors (ie: violent sexual offenses, etc). A qualified professional would have to do two things: 1) establish a trusting relationship with kc and 2) recognize their own issues and have already worked through those along with supervision and/or peer input

I do not condone her behaviors. I also think that she will probably never be able to fess up - unless she thought at the very last second it would save her life. IMO - kc has convinced herself of her lies.

eta: I would not "love" her (I promise!) I would not offer her my home, food, money, access to my family, or anything else. Only warmth and kindness and an opportunity to open up. I predict it would take hundreds of hours to get her to face her own actions and emotions (if ever).

 

[wenwe4]

southernbrunette, thank you for sharing this story. It helps to understand what you were feeling at the time and how looking back, what you learned from this experience and your reflections on the situation.

 

[kbl8201]

I think you're right. ITA.

It sort of reminds me of a time in middle school. I was riding the bus and there was a high school boy who picked on me a lot - called me fat, called me names, and said disgusting things about me that really ticked me off. I wanted to get him back and I thought long and hard about how I would do it.

He always sat in the very back of the bus whereas I was somewhere in the middle. When we got to the high school (we dropped them off first) and he walked by me, as soon as he was in front of my seat I grabbed the back of his shirt..pulled him towards me, took a bottle of body-spray and sprayed it in his eyes as much as I could before he could react. I felt REALLY good about it too, even though it was pretty evil.

He was stunned to say the least. He got so mad that he slapped me and started wrestling with me in the seat. The bus driver saw him do that but nobody ever saw that I was the one who struck first and sprayed him in the eye. Before this, things had never been physical between us - he was just verbally attacking me.

The bus driver pulled him off of me and took him straight to the principal's office. He was suspended from school for 10 days and his mother made him come over to our house later that night and apologize to me.

Of course before all that, I was questioned by teachers, principals, and our parents as to what happened and I completely lied - making it seem like he just attacked me for no reason. Put on the waterworks and all. Never once did I mention my part in it.

And when he came over to apologize - I could see it in his eyes that he knew he was being unfairly punished and that I should have at least gotten in trouble too. Him coming over to apologize was the first time I had to actually sit and think about my part in it and what I'd done to provoke him - and the TRUTH ate at me and made me feel guilty as all hell. I couldn't handle it, so I chose to "shake it off" and act as if that never happened - continuing with my lie. I lied so much about the incident that I believed my own lies until faced with the truth I couldn't deny.

Years later, I think when I was a freshman in high school - I saw him at the ballpark for a football game. I actually went to go apologize to him, but he didn't really want to hear it.

Sorry about the long post, it just made me realize that yes people are quite capable of telling a lie to avoid facing their own consequences..and telling the lie so much they practically perfect it, believe it, and go along with it until they are faced with no choice but to see the actual truth of the matter. I was completely okay with believing my lie, especially since others believed me too.

i dont justify what you did but i have a hard time feeling sorry for him either.

maybe he learned what happens when you hurt other people just to be cruel.......you get it back at you.

 

[zoey]

for pretty close to five years I dealt with my mom and dementia---that wore me down pretty bad---it is amazing the stories that she could tell and actually get people to believe it really happened that way....It was a time in my life where it was a constant pressure cooker...If I called her out on something she would get in a rage and tell me she didn't lie...(instead I was the "liar")---but I never called any of her "reality" a lie----just tried to get her somewhere in my real world.....it was a long long haul!

so my answer would be no---I've already gave.....couldn't go back and do it again----I think you get so tied up in trying to convice them of the error of their ways and get nothing in return..Even LE I'm sure felt this way in dealing with various family members~~

 

[sharpar]

KC is in incapable of feeling guilt or remorse for any of the damage she has done.



MOO

 

[kbl8201]

steph i also wonder if people on the bus had convienent amnesia/glaucoma

 

[littlemisslegal]

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