Emotions regarding case...

[SleuthinCa]

I was on the search team for Danielle Van Dam in San Diego in 2002. I was wrapped up in that case since it happened so close to me. I've followed quite a few cases since and I get emotionally involved in each one. The 3 I've followed the most are Danielle Van Dam (obviously), Trenton Duckett, and Caylee. I don't remember how I found this forum originally but I was a long time lurker. Didn't start posting until Caylee.

 

[elitenls]

I am 100% obsessed with this case. Before it, I had never heard of this site. I'm scaring myself how often I'm checking for updates and wanted to just explode in comments about my anger/frustration/sympathy ... emotions are running rampant whenever I see that little girl's picture.

I also realize that I'm an educated, responsible adult and father. My little girl looks at me, and says "Daddy" and my heart melts. I can't remotely fathom how anyone could hurt their child. The coldness of this mother puzzles and confuses the hell out of me. The emotionless stares and unwillingness to help boggles my mind.

However, I still reserve the right to point at evidence and speculation and call it fact. There are facts that say this little girl is no longer alive, I accept that and it will not shock me if she is indeed deceased. However, there is no fact that says it was her mother that caused that death. So, I can't blame her yet. Yet. If a fact does arise that shows without a doubt that it was her -- I will be the first one to burst my emotions on to the screen about hate/anger/frustration -- until then, I say this:

This damn case is driving me insane, and I really really really want it to come to a close! I haven't slept since Thursday night ...

 

[Evan's Mom]

This is the first case that I've ever had affect me so deeply.
I've never teared up and cried over someone not personally connected to me like this.
Just today I questioned myself, wondering if I've might have gone into a slightly serious depression.

 

[doogiesgirl]

I am a newbie but only to WS. I am a work at home mom right now and i keep the tv on during the day just for noise. I have noticed in the last 2 to 3 years that the number of missing children or abducted children just seems to grow as time goes by. I got emotionally attached to a little girl in Ohio first, (they found her head, never did find her body and i still think and dream about her all the time. When the boy that was snatched after getting off the school bus and then they found him along with Shawn (another boy that had been abducted 4 years previous) thats when i dropped to my knees and started praying for these kids, at the moment the news reports them taken. I of course noticed when Caylee came up missing and it was reported on the news. and yes i am probably too emotionally involved. How can you not be though. I mean you know how you would feel it was your kid. I think thats why i am so agitated by this family, they go against every reaction you can imagine yourself having in the same situation. Anyway yea, i am emotionally involved way past my eye balls!

 

[suzet]

Hi,
I was originally lured into this case by Cindy Anthony's 911 call. I could feel the sheer terror in her voice. I loved the fact that she had had it with her daughter's lies and this grandma was going to do whatever it took to find her granddaughter. I found it unusually refreshing, not to mention compelling, that Cindy would call the police on her daughter to find her precious little granddaughter. You could hear in her voice that she had reached the end of her rope with Casey. It was tough love at it's best. I was hooked. Then things changed, Cindy changed, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

The twists and turns seemed to be unlike any other case I have ever followed. And at the top of all this is sweet little Caylee. My favorite photo of her is the one in the car seat where she is holding her doll and sporting a "hey, wait a second," look in her eye. What a personality! She sure did love hats! So I am here for the duration.

I go from frustration to sadness to madness in this case. Sometimes I can barely think about that poor baby and what she must have gone through. Sometimes I get very angry about what is not being done to help find her. Sometimes I get impatient waiting for something to happen, some closure, anything that would bring peace to this child. If I think too much about Caylee, I get teary eyed. I am so hopeful Tim and his wonderful team find Caylee.

I have always been interested in mysteries. I believe in fairness and getting the bad guys. I followed the OJ case very closely. Geez, what a complete moron! I feel so badly for his children and all the families involved. I followed the Natallee Holloway case quite extensively. I was shocked by how that case was handled and what an amazing, gracious, lady Beth was. I vowed to boycott Aruba. Another sociopath getting away with murder. I lurked on this forum and another popular one during that time, but never posted here until this case. I guess watching Joran get away with murdering Natalee has made me less hopeful of catching the bad guys these days. I guess I never give up hope though. Glad to be part of Websleuths.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

SmileyAmy, what you're feeling is very normal to me. I don't know that everyone here feels the same way but I suspect that all of us are drawn here by similar personality traits and therefore, most of us probably do experience similar emotions in regards to certain cases.

I find that cases that tend to haunt me the most are cases involving people that remind me of the people that I love the most. It's very difficult for me to handle a case that involves a child that is the same age as one of my own children. It's almost as if the harm that came to that child becomes a real danger in my mind to my child as well. I don't really know how to verbalize this; it's something emotional that I never really tried to put into words until now. In any case, even if I had no children, the harm that befalls some of the children we discuss here would haunt me regardless so I hope you don't misunderstand. But there's just something about a case that reminds you so much of your own child that just makes it seem so much more real, IMO.

I'm going to read the other posts on the thread and hopefully you're hanging in there and feeling a bit better with the responses that have been posted. Please feel free to reach out, through posts or PM's, if you feel the need.

 

[magiemay]

I am a newbee to ws, I can still remember when I first heard about this story I was sweeping in the hall the tv was on in the next room they were searching the Anthony's yard with the dogs, You know that seems so long ago. I don't know how I got so all consumed with this but happened upon ws doing a search for info and updates.

I like so many have been overtaken with it O just feel that they have got to find this baby and bring closure to all of this. Two nights last week I dreamed about this baby she has pretty much taken over my life asleep and awake, I am constantly looking here for updates and hoping for some closure.

This family is just so bizare maybe that is why we have all been drawn to it I don't know it just seems as though we care more than they do. I hope not but it is beginning to seem so.

I have never gotten involved in anything like this before and now it seems my laundry is behind my floors need washing , you know like almost every one here.

I just pray that it all ends soon and we can grieve the loss and get back to normal. But one thing I think we know from what we are doing is if we had a lost toddler we would not be dressed and made up for the camera we would be desperately seeking answers.jmo

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

The only thing you can really do is what you're doing right now, taking the best care you can of your little one and helping her grow up.

I agree. And in a sad sort of way, it will probably make you an even better parent than you already are because the tragedy of this often makes us realize even more the extreme value of our own little ones. We hold them a little closer, spend a little more time with them, speak to them in gentler tones ... trying to be the parents that we wish all children were fortunate enough to have.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

There are non-profit groups in your area which help teen moms do that and maybe you can volunteer to work with them or assist them with fundraising.

This is a wonderful suggestion. One thing I've definitely discovered is that helping out in various ways helps me to not feel quite so helpless when a case like this grabs me. It's a way to try to make something positive out of something so senseless.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

Last but not least, I have a particular bug-a-boo about men who prey on women and children, taking advantage of those weaker and smaller than they are, in so many ways. That doesn't appear to be the situation in this particular case, but it's still a matter of someone bigger and stronger taking advantage of a child in a terrible, criminal way.

IMO, these cases are the absolute worst. There is nothing worse than a parent betraying their child this way. For a child to be harmed by the one person they love & trust the most is just unforgiveable. A crime committed by any adult on any child is appalling but when it's a parent on child crime, you know that many times, the child didn't even know to be afraid or cautious because they'd never suspect that mommy or daddy would ever hurt them. A child's innate instincts don't protect them from their parents because they've learned to trust the parents and rely on them for protection. That's why these cases seem to affect me the most.

 

[truthsleuth]

I don't like when things in my world don't make sense. And this case makes no sense.

When I first heard the Caylee Anthony story, I was at a loss as to why the mother of a beautiful 2-year-old child couldn't find enough love in the depths of her soul to cry and SHOUT to anyone and everyone who would listen "Help me find my child!" I couldn't understand why she wouldn't share information with the very people who were ready and willing to help her find Caylee--the police, the public at large, and the search teams. Or why, at her bond hearing, she cried only because she was being incarcerated, not because her child was gone. I couldn't understand why her mother Cindy, who knew from the first day that something had gone awry ("I can smell decomposition in the car! Oh my God! Something's terribly wrong here--I need to find my granddaughter!") did a 360-degree turn and has lied repeatedly to protect her daughter Casey. All of these things that make no sense have kept me up night after night searching for answers.

While I am convinced that Caylee is resting in her Heavenly Father's arms, she needs a resting place for her earthly body. If the Anthonys have not put Caylee's interests first in this matter, at least we the public have. She has touched so many hearts. May she be found soon and may peace be restored to all of us again.

 

[Short_Stuff]

I followed this case since seeing it on Greta early on, then found this site thru a websearch.
I have followed other cases ie Laci Peterson and Natalie Holloway on Greta's show (but I didnt follow them on here).
I've always been a super spy type person I guess.
All cases get to me, but when I look at Caylee's pictures it really gets to me because I have 3 young granddaughters. So I really feel bad about all this.
Add in Casey's lies and I cringe at the possibilities, because I hate lying more than anything on earth.

 

[Breaking Heart]

I've been following the Trenton Duckett case for 2 yrs now. I got hooked on that case because of a headline that said "Trenton 2 abducted". My son's name is Trenton and at the time was 2. That was the first missing child case I ever followed. I swore to myself, and others, I would never follow another missing child case because of the emotional roller coaster it sent me thru...and because I became a very paranoid parent. I literally would not take my eyes off my son in a public place. I wouldn't take him shopping because I couldn't shop and stare at him the whole time. So, while following the Duckett case I saw links to Caylee's disappearance...and here I am. Getting sucked in again. It's been a very long 2 years for missing Trenton Duckett, I hope and pray Caylee's case doesn't turn out the same. I'm not sure I could handle following another unsolved disappearance.

 

[Reannan]

I grew up in a world where there was only three channels on the TV, and they were all black and white. There was no internet, and no computers - outside of NASA and large academic institutions. When I was 11 or 12 years old, I had an uncle who was addicted to True Crime stories. He would have LOVED WebSleuths, Court TV (aka Tru TV - or something), FBI Files, CSI, etc. His resource was cheap sleezy magazines that almost always depicted a woman in a nightgown or lingerie of some sort posed on crumpled sheets and pretending to be dead. I was fascinated with the stories in my uncle's magazines, and he got a kick out of discussing them with me. He would leave me his old copies to read. Time marched on, I got distracted with boys, high school, college, marriage, career, and children. After finding cable TV, I discovered Court TV, FBI Files, CSI, etc. My husband HATES this sort of thing. I remember one night, I was up late watching a crime story on cable, and he came down stairs to beg me to come to bed. His words ring in my head today: "What murder are we watching on TV tonight??" I looked annoyed (and not in the least interested in going to bed - especially after that comment), and then he said this: "You know - you are just like your Uncle Ralph except you have TV instead of magazines". I was absolutely shocked. I had never made the connection or even thought about it. There is something in me that makes me need to understand crime and criminals. Maybe it is my delusional way of controlling it. I DO sleep well - all 3 hours of sleep that I am getting!!! I respect the people here at WebSleuths more than any other site - except Steve Huff's site(s) - than any other place on the web. They are the glue that holds the universe together in my opinion. In their own way, thru caring about victims and thru seeking justice in the small ways that they do, they are the "good" in the Universe which is battling the "evil".

 

[cwgrlfromhell]

I just stumbled onto ws a few weeks ago. I have been into true crime for years. I watched Court TV all the time in the early 90's. (Menendez Bros. OJ. etc.)
I have some background as a victim and the family of a perp. My brother is in prison, life without parole, for the murder of my Mother and Step-father. So- it's only natural that I'm interested in what the news has to offer.
I am trying not to get sucked in emotionally- but I fear it might be too late! Laci Peterson just about broke my heart. I looked at her, and wept. So, I am really trying to stay away from the edge. Hopefully, we get some closure soon.... if they don't find her. I don't think I could bear it.

 

[Reannan]

I am trying not to get sucked in emotionally- but I fear it might be too late!

Oh, cwgrlfromhell - I am sincerely sorry for what happened in your life. I am glad you are here at WS's. We are always here for support, and we appreciate your help and perspective! :blowkiss:

 

[Lady Loves Lurking]

hi.

I'm a noobee. my son has a shirt from his gamer uncle that says that. When i look at those pice of them, of Casey and Caylee, i see a skinny/toothy/sloppy and tacky version of myself. There are currently over 200 pics of Baby and I online. i look at that perfect pic of Caylee on my local news and i have to immediatley go in and check if Baby is still breathing.


then i worry that Caylee was cold. and i pray that they find her.

 

[cwgrlfromhell]

Oh, cwgrlfromhell - I am sincerely sorry for what happened in your life. I am glad you are here at WS's. We are always here for support, and we appreciate your help and perspective! :blowkiss:

Ah, Thank you! The people are so great here. You guys rock!

 

[xdaten]

As I sit here typing and breastfeeding my 3 month old son, I wonder myself why I am *sucked in* to this case. I heard about it on NG weeks ago. I personally hate NG and was just channel surfing when I heard about the case. Caylee looks ever so much like my own precious 3 & 1/2 year old daughter. I have always been interested in forensic science, and this case has struck a chord with me.

I think the reason I am here is because I need someone else's drama in my life atm. I lost my 1st son last year to sids, he wasn't even 6 weeks old yet. My b-day was 4 days after he died. I turned 31 in 2007. but the way my brain worked, I just turned 31 this year, if that makes sense. I lost a birthday in my head, not the full year tho, pregnancy & a toddler ment life had to go on. I was treated that day like a criminal, because my son was already in rigor & had lividity spots on his face, the police thought they were bruises. Not getting to even say goodbye to my son before they placed him in cold storage and cut him up in the morgue has left me bitter to most LE. It was a bad day all around. Seeing Casey react, some of her emotionless I do understand, but I can not imagine how after months she could still be that way. Instant reaction is one thing, now it is beyond weird.

My first case, after Jackson had died, was that one in Galveston. I was terribly moved by Riley, but didn't join any sites I just kept reading about her wherever I could. First post here, I joined like others to say something, then backed off because someone else posted my thoughts already.

Watching this unfold helps me with my own grief somehow.

 

[OriginalJerseyGirl]

I have some background as a victim and the family of a perp. My brother is in prison, life without parole, for the murder of my Mother and Step-father.

I don't have adequate words to express my sympathy to you. There are many victims here on WS - (most that I know are not victims of anything quite this severe) - but you've definitely found a great place here at WS. A lot of people here can relate on some level to the loss that you've experienced. In addition to that, the posters here have hearts of gold and spend much of their time trying to improve the lives of others. I hope that you find some comfort here, knowing that you are not alone.