GA - Roger Stephens for slapping stranger's 2yo girl, Stone Mountain, 2009

[DogMom2JoeAndWillie]

Since you couldn't offer them a snack, the best bet is to amuse or distract them. Babies tend to love faces, so you could try smiling or wiggling your eyebrows. Or waving. Sometimes, strangers doing this can scare them, but often it does distract them and keep them quiet for a bit.

And as a mom of a toddler, I do agree that leaving when the child simply can't be consoled is often the beast course of action. However, if you have already gotten your groceries, or whatever, sometimes you just have to wait in the line until you can go. If I stopped grocery shopping every time my son cried or whined in a store, we'd have starved by now.

I totally understand what you mean about finishing up what you're doing instead of leaving every time your baby cries....it's the excessive wailing that gets to me. Makes me wonder whats WRONG and why the child is SO upset and why their parent can't consol them. I would like to try smiling or talking to them to distract, but I'm always afraid that some psycho mom/dad will get angry with me for speaking to their child. You know, the whole "dont talk to strangers" thing. It's heartbreaking, really....because the little ones can't TELL you whats got them upset....and as bad as you want to make them happy it's hard to figure out what they want.

 

[daisy7]

I totally understand what you mean about finishing up what you're doing instead of leaving every time your baby cries....it's the excessive wailing that gets to me. Makes me wonder whats WRONG and why the child is SO upset and why their parent can't consol them. I would like to try smiling or talking to them to distract, but I'm always afraid that some psycho mom/dad will get angry with me for speaking to their child. You know, the whole "dont talk to strangers" thing. It's heartbreaking, really....because the little ones can't TELL you whats got them upset....and as bad as you want to make them happy it's hard to figure out what they want.

BBM. Us parents sometimes don't know why they're upset either. I agree with Ducky, distraction works wonders. Many times I've been in the grocery store and there's a screaming toddler - I just talk/play with them to try and help calm them down. Sometimes it's more effective coming from a non-parent. I've never had a parent say anything bad to me -- they're more likely to tell me thank you.

Yesterday, I was at Walmart and there was a mom and 2 year old and the baby was just happy as could be. I saw them several times and he was just happily eating a doughnut. I commented to the Mom about how good he was being (cuz sometimes my youngest 3yo can be a nightmare at Walmart). Her response was, whenever we go grocery shopping, the first stop is always the bakery for a doughnut. Gonna have to try that myself

 

[Beyond Belief]

Absolutely dumbfounding.
How far away was the mother from the child to not grab his arm and stop him?
He would have been walking out of the store with a clothing rack protruding from his butt.
I am really glad I wasn't there. I really fly into rage when I see someone hitting kids.
congrats to the mother for keeping her cool.

 

[WhyaDuck?]

BBM. Us parents sometimes don't know why they're upset either. I agree with Ducky, distraction works wonders. Many times I've been in the grocery store and there's a screaming toddler - I just talk/play with them to try and help calm them down. Sometimes it's more effective coming from a non-parent. I've never had a parent say anything bad to me -- they're more likely to tell me thank you.

Yesterday, I was at Walmart and there was a mom and 2 year old and the baby was just happy as could be. I saw them several times and he was just happily eating a doughnut. I commented to the Mom about how good he was being (cuz sometimes my youngest 3yo can be a nightmare at Walmart). Her response was, whenever we go grocery shopping, the first stop is always the bakery for a doughnut. Gonna have to try that myself

For mine, it's strawberries. And a crayon and a stiff piece of cardboard. Without those things, I am screwed in a grocery store. I always stop in the produce section first.

Also, I never snap at people for making funny faces or waving at my child - it's not like they are trying to touch him. Actually, he pitches a fit if strangers so try to touch him, so I'll always know if they did. But I am always grateful to people who can distract him a moment if he's tantrumy when I'm just trying to make my purchase and go.

I also thought of something else that works: peek-a-boo. I have never seen this fail to work from a stranger. He gets tired of my peek-a-boo and enjoys playing it with strangers, I guess.

It's also important to scan the floor for something the tyke might have dropped, and bring it to the mom's attention if there is something. She might have missed it, and that might be the cause.

But, sometimes, just plain nothing will work. Such is the nature of babies.

 

[SewingDeb]

I'm not sure how they can still say this after what he did.

Neighbors say Stone Mountain man who slapped toddler a harmless loner

http://www.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/neighbors-say-stone-mountain-130805.html

 

[christee]

I noticed on the video he has a facial twitch (Tourettes' maybe?). He'll probably claim his hand twitched when he reached down to tweak the tykes cheek!
What a jerk. If he felt like hittin' something he should've gone to the sports department in Wally World and looked for a real punching bag to hit!!!
:loser:


ETA-did I read correctly-he slapped the child 4-5 times? WTH!

 

[Kat]

I don't understand why this wasn't on tape. Lordy be, every single Walmart I have ever been in had all those domes on the ceiling that covered most of the store right?

I wonder how hard did he strike this child? Is the child going to be okay? I hope the child wasn't seriously injured.

Just some questions that popped up in my head while I watched NG coverage. I did miss some of it though.

 

[bogeygal]

I don't understand why this wasn't on tape. Lordy be, every single Walmart I have ever been in had all those domes on the ceiling that covered most of the store right?

I wonder how hard did he strike this child? Is the child going to be okay? I hope the child wasn't seriously injured.

Just some questions that popped up in my head while I watched NG coverage. I did miss some of it though.

I believe one of the news links above mentioned that the baby girl's face was red from the slapping.

IMO, a two year old baby with delicate skin, and being hit on the face would redden (is that a word?) quickly. But I'll bet since he followed them around the store in anger and making the threat to mom, that he hit her hard. It's hard just typing that!

 

[bogeygal]

Here's a link to the police report.

It has more information about what happened at the Walmart. Apparently he slapped her four or five times!

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0902091slap2.html

ETA: The report also states there was no video footage in the area of the crime.

 

[mayfairlight]

Sick.

 

[Steely Dan]

Howya likin jail you :censored: jerk.

:behindbar :slap::fight: :highfive: :floorlaugh::turkey: :applause: :woohoo::dance::loser:

 

[4Kat]

I know that this is off topic, but I would really like to know what type of advice you guys have to offer on this....What DOES work/help when you're trying to quiet a screaming child? I am not a parent (just a Dog Mama) and often find myself in public places with screaming/wailing kids whose parents don't even seem to notice. I mean, obviously slapping a kid isn't going to calm them down....they're just going to get even more upset because they're HURT in addition to being upset. I feel guilty sometimes because I GLARE at people who don't even TRY to calm/hush their kids. I just feel like people should try to make their kids happy and get them to quiet down if they're screaming...and if that doesn't work, they should LEAVE until the child is calm/quiet. Obviously people aren't that considerate....they're just gonna stand in the middle of the grocery store, movie theater, gas station, etc. and let the screaming drive us all insane....and I'm guessing that when I glare at them it makes them actually ENCOURAGE the screaming....so really, what's the best thing for us childless people to do? HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?!?!
I know that babies cry and that it's normal for them to get upset sometimes...but there HAS to be a way to make them happy/quiet without assaulting anyone or having to use a tranquilizer gun.

My babies are no longer little (21 & 18), I was also blessed with children that hardly ever cried while out in public. I believe that part of that came from the routine I had. Most of the time we went to kid friendly places to eat so they were allowed to have fun. But I think the key was that I always made sure that where ever we went, whether to the grocery store, mall, or restaurant, my children were well rested and not really hungry. There have been times when this did not work. When they would cry, I would do what others have said. Distraction! If that didn't work, we would leave. I've always tried to courteous to others and while I love my children with my heart and soul, I know others do not.

 

[Gene]

I know that this is off topic, but I would really like to know what type of advice you guys have to offer on this....What DOES work/help when you're trying to quiet a screaming child? I am not a parent (just a Dog Mama) and often find myself in public places with screaming/wailing kids whose parents don't even seem to notice. I mean, obviously slapping a kid isn't going to calm them down....they're just going to get even more upset because they're HURT in addition to being upset. I feel guilty sometimes because I GLARE at people who don't even TRY to calm/hush their kids. I just feel like people should try to make their kids happy and get them to quiet down if they're screaming...and if that doesn't work, they should LEAVE until the child is calm/quiet. Obviously people aren't that considerate....they're just gonna stand in the middle of the grocery store, movie theater, gas station, etc. and let the screaming drive us all insane....and I'm guessing that when I glare at them it makes them actually ENCOURAGE the screaming....so really, what's the best thing for us childless people to do? HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?!?!
I know that babies cry and that it's normal for them to get upset sometimes...but there HAS to be a way to make them happy/quiet without assaulting anyone or having to use a tranquilizer gun.

I totally understand what you mean. We have a 3 month old baby and we love to go out to eat. We take him along and sometimes he starts to cry. But one of us ALWAYS leaves the restaurant with him until he quiets down or one of us takes him home. I do not understand how inconsiderate parents can ignore their children let them scream and cry in a restaurant or a shop. It is the same to me as someone smoking a cigar in a restaurant (remember that?). I am not saying that this guy was right for hitting the kid, of course he was not. But parents have to take responsibility for their children.

 

[kgeaux]

I don't understand why this wasn't on tape. Lordy be, every single Walmart I have ever been in had all those domes on the ceiling that covered most of the store right?

I wonder how hard did he strike this child? Is the child going to be okay? I hope the child wasn't seriously injured.

Just some questions that popped up in my head while I watched NG coverage. I did miss some of it though.

My car, parked in a Walmart parking lot, was once blocked in by an older model black truck-----the male driver had his pants undone and was masterbating. The Walmart said the parking lot was not being videoed---and this was while Derek Todd Lee was running around Louisiana beating women to death. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that the parking lot wasn't under surveillance, but it boggles my mind that the interior of a Walmart isn't constantly being videoed.

 

[kgeaux]

I know that this is off topic, but I would really like to know what type of advice you guys have to offer on this....What DOES work/help when you're trying to quiet a screaming child? I am not a parent (just a Dog Mama) and often find myself in public places with screaming/wailing kids whose parents don't even seem to notice. I mean, obviously slapping a kid isn't going to calm them down....they're just going to get even more upset because they're HURT in addition to being upset. I feel guilty sometimes because I GLARE at people who don't even TRY to calm/hush their kids. I just feel like people should try to make their kids happy and get them to quiet down if they're screaming...and if that doesn't work, they should LEAVE until the child is calm/quiet. Obviously people aren't that considerate....they're just gonna stand in the middle of the grocery store, movie theater, gas station, etc. and let the screaming drive us all insane....and I'm guessing that when I glare at them it makes them actually ENCOURAGE the screaming....so really, what's the best thing for us childless people to do? HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?!?!
I know that babies cry and that it's normal for them to get upset sometimes...but there HAS to be a way to make them happy/quiet without assaulting anyone or having to use a tranquilizer gun.

I can sympathize with you, because having raised 5 boys, I KNOW how hard it is to listen to a crying child. I agree that parents with distressed children should leave certain places; theaters and concerts, restaurants, too. HOWEVER, not all children can be quieted at all times, and food is a necessity.....groceries aren't optional! Babies aren't dolls that can be turned off whenever their behavior is upsetting! Believe me, most parents are fine-tuned to want to comfort their children, no parent enjoys listening to cries and screams! Any parent would stop the child's behavior if they could!


I hope you can take this with a large spoonful of sugar, because I know it's going to be difficult getting it down: Rather than glare at the parent, who is probably WAY more stressed about the situation than you could EVER BE, why don't you offer them some encouragement? Wouldn't encouragement (Oh, you're such a good mommy to be so patient with a crying child! I'm afraid I'd lose it!) be more CONSIDERATE than glaring at the child or parent? If you can't be encouraging, and can't find it in yourself to be patient, if you can't stand the crying, try to +walk away to another aisle......because if you can't make it better, at least you can try to not make it worse. :blowkiss:

 

[Steely Dan]

My car, parked in a Walmart parking lot, was once blocked in by an older model black truck-----the male driver had his pants undone and was masterbating. The Walmart said the parking lot was not being videoed---and this was while Derek Todd Lee was running around Louisiana beating women to death. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that the parking lot wasn't under surveillance, but it boggles my mind that the interior of a Walmart isn't constantly being videoed.

What happened to the gross dude. uke:

 

[DogMom2JoeAndWillie]

I can sympathize with you, because having raised 5 boys, I KNOW how hard it is to listen to a crying child. I agree that parents with distressed children should leave certain places; theaters and concerts, restaurants, too. HOWEVER, not all children can be quieted at all times, and food is a necessity.....groceries aren't optional! Babies aren't dolls that can be turned off whenever their behavior is upsetting! Believe me, most parents are fine-tuned to want to comfort their children, no parent enjoys listening to cries and screams! Any parent would stop the child's behavior if they could!


I hope you can take this with a large spoonful of sugar, because I know it's going to be difficult getting it down: Rather than glare at the parent, who is probably WAY more stressed about the situation than you could EVER BE, why don't you offer them some encouragement? Wouldn't encouragement (Oh, you're such a good mommy to be so patient with a crying child! I'm afraid I'd lose it!) be more CONSIDERATE than glaring at the child or parent? If you can't be encouraging, and can't find it in yourself to be patient, if you can't stand the crying, try to +walk away to another aisle......because if you can't make it better, at least you can try to not make it worse. :blowkiss:

Just wanted to thank you (and ALL THE OTHER WISE WS MEMBERS) for the responses and advice. You're right about most parents being aware of the situation and stressed about making their kids happy....it's those who don't seem to even notice that their baby is upset and have that "if I ignore the screaming it will go away" attitude who deserve "the glare". I'll admit that it bothers me very much to hear an upset child... mostly because it's heartbreaking to know that such a helpless, innocent little person is unhappy and can't verbalize what it is that's causing it. It makes me ANGRY to watch a parent ignore the fact that their child is upset. I know most parents are so in-tune with their babies needs that they know EXACTLY what to do to make them happy...it's those who don't seem to care that I can't stand. Maybe I should've been more clear in my post.
I guess my hesitation about saying anything or trying to distract a baby comes from my experience as a cashier in a retail store during highschool. I once asked a child to stop climbing/hanging on the clothing racks because I didn't want the racks to fall and injure him. The mom got really upset at me for "telling her kid what to do", even though I was nice to him and was only looking out for his safety. Then there are so many bad people in the world that I can understand a parent being cautious toward strangers....and not wanting me to speak to or try and distract their kid.
Thanks again, everyone, for the suggestions. I might try to key-jingle or peek-a-boo thing next time.

 

[Steely Dan]

Just wanted to thank you (and ALL THE OTHER WISE WS MEMBERS) for the responses and advice. You're right about most parents being aware of the situation and stressed about making their kids happy....it's those who don't seem to even notice that their baby is upset and have that "if I ignore the screaming it will go away" attitude who deserve "the glare". I'll admit that it bothers me very much to hear an upset child... mostly because it's heartbreaking to know that such a helpless, innocent little person is unhappy and can't verbalize what it is that's causing it. It makes me ANGRY to watch a parent ignore the fact that their child is upset. I know most parents are so in-tune with their babies needs that they know EXACTLY what to do to make them happy...it's those who don't seem to care that I can't stand. Maybe I should've been more clear in my post.
I guess my hesitation about saying anything or trying to distract a baby comes from my experience as a cashier in a retail store during highschool. I once asked a child to stop climbing/hanging on the clothing racks because I didn't want the racks to fall and injure him. The mom got really upset at me for "telling her kid what to do", even though I was nice to him and was only looking out for his safety. Then there are so many bad people in the world that I can understand a parent being cautious toward strangers....and not wanting me to speak to or try and distract their kid.
Thanks again, everyone, for the suggestions. I might try to key-jingle or peek-a-boo thing next time.

There are so many Jackasses in this world. I hate parents like that. I think it might be more that they are taking offense to your seeing the obvious lack of parenting skills they have. You embarrassed them publicly, at least they should be embarrassed.

If the rack fell over on him the mother would sue the store and it would be ruled the stores fault for not making the store safe for stupid kids and bad parents. :furious:

I was waiting to get a haircut one time. A woman's approx. 6 year old daughter was running around grabbing on to stuff and being a general terror. The only way this woman could figure out to deal with it was to yell at her. If it were me I'd have called her over and asked her what she wanted for Christmas, it was coming up soon, or to tell me a story or get her involved in some friendly verbal distraction. The hairdressers were too busy to see all of this but again they would have been liable if the stupid kid hurt herself.

 

[kgeaux]

What happened to the gross dude. uke:

They never found him.

 

[Steely Dan]

They never found him.

It would have been cool to get his license plate but I guess he beat the system. :saythat: :crazy: