IL - Steven Stepp & 2 others for sex abuse of 10yo girl, Romeoville, 2004

[Brefie]

you guys are killing me here. this is a repeat. i have seen part 2. it is worth watching trust me. i can say i am proud of the mom who stood up for her child and i cry to see the pain in her face when she talks about her child.

I have read about this on his site too.....I have not seen the show, so I was very interested to hear the words come out of their mouths.
The 'grandmother' is something else.....her husband is obviously sick and twisted - he felt like she liked it? What the f*$&???
I get the feeling it's not the first time for him, nor is it the first time she has 'stood by her man'. There is nothing on this earth that could make me stand by ANYONE who harmed a child - much less keep it quiet.

 

[pedinurse]

Ok, here's my question. when these people go on dr phil and say "hey, i'm having sex with children..." are they NOT going to jail?" WTF? There was one lady on there, 9 months preggo, doing meth. kid you not. i was sitting there going.. why is she not in the slammer until her baby is born, at least to ensure the health of her child? i thought they could do that if they are convicted of possession and of using, especially while pregnant?

 

[southcitymom]

my grandfather was in his 70's when he started touching me. my mother said he was old and did not understand what he was doing. then she would leave me alone with him and go to work. all of you who think a man can not rape a child at this age without Viagra are wrong. i told her over and over and she still left me with him. she made excuses for him and left me there. she moved out to live with a boyfriend and left me there. i stayed til i was 15 and could leave on my own. it never stopped.

my mother was just as guilty as her father. the scars on my soul are just as bad from her as from him. to know the person who should protect you allows this to happen to you when you are a child destroys your faith in good people. it leaves you bitter and angry. i hate my mother more than i hate him. he was a sick pervert that had a mind so twisted and evil he enjoyed sex with a child. what was her excuse??? when i was 25 i got a call from my mother. her father was dying and wanted to see me. i told her no. she begged me. "you know you were always his favorite and he loves you and wants to see you 1 last time." i told her i hope they both burned in hell and hung up. i meant every word.

sorry i went on and on but when i read storys like this it is so hard to not feel overwhelmed by all the emotions they bring up.

Oh God, Sherri. I am so so sorry that this happened to you. It makes me want to cry. I am glad you said your piece and did not go back to see them.

You are a person I have really come to respect and care for, and I am heartbroken at the pain of this. Thank you for being brave enough to share your perspective and experiences from your heart.

:blowkiss:

 

[southcitymom]

thank you for your kind words. i am ok talking about it. when i lost my son many years ago my husband pointed out i felt better when i talked about it and he thought it may help to speak about the abuse. i told him it was different because speaking of my son honored his memory but this different. there was no honor in this only shame. he made the point the shame was theirs not mine. by keeping it a secret i stayed the same scared child. by speaking about it i release the pain.

i married a very smart man.

Wow! What a great man - and what a wise woman you must be to hear him. But, of course, I already knew that second part.

 

[SewingDeb]

Yes, you did, Sherri. Give him a big hug from us.

 

[sherri79]

Ok, here's my question. when these people go on dr phil and say "hey, i'm having sex with children..." are they NOT going to jail?" WTF? There was one lady on there, 9 months preggo, doing meth. kid you not. i was sitting there going.. why is she not in the slammer until her baby is born, at least to ensure the health of her child? i thought they could do that if they are convicted of possession and of using, especially while pregnant?

the grandfather in the story we are talking about did do jail time. it was last year that i watched it so i cant remember how long but it was like 9 months i think. he got less time because he pled guilty. he thinks it means he should get to see the child because he was a good little molester and confessed.

 

[sherri79]

Oh God, Sherri. I am so so sorry that this happened to you. It makes me want to cry. I am glad you said your piece and did not go back to see them.

You are a person I have really come to respect and care for, and I am heartbroken at the pain of this. Thank you for being brave enough to share your perspective and experiences from your heart.

:blowkiss:

coming from you it means alot. we dont see eye to eye often but as i have said before i respect what you have to say as well. today has been full of awful stories. judging from the fact you and i have agreed alot today it must have been a bad day to be a kid. you see the good in every1 and when you get angry you know something really bad has happened to a innocent baby somewhere.

 

[sherri79]

Yes, you did, Sherri. Give him a big hug from us.

days like today remind me to never take him for granted. i'll even give him a kiss. :blushing:

 

[SewingDeb]

Even better. : )

 

[bakerprune64]

Your dang right about that. It flabbergasts me to see how many parents abuse and allow abuse to their children, they should be hung. Where's bakers when ya need her, LOL!

You called my dear? This is probably much more common that we'd ever care to think. And they should be punished as equally as the kid they protected. What a bunch of freaking losers.

 

[Reannan]

thank you for your kind words. i am ok talking about it. when i lost my son many years ago my husband pointed out i felt better when i talked about it and he thought it may help to speak about the abuse. i told him it was different because speaking of my son honored his memory but this different. there was no honor in this only shame. he made the point the shame was theirs not mine. by keeping it a secret i stayed the same scared child. by speaking about it i release the pain.

i married a very smart man.[/quote]

I would have to say your husband has made a few good choices himself! :blowkiss: You know, the issues with your Mom are going to be hard to reconcile. I agree with Amraann that your Mom was probably abused by him also. Does that make it right for her to look the other way when you were being abused? Absolutely not! In fact, on the surface, you would think someone who has been abused would be the first to stand up for others who are going through a similar situation. Sadly, this isn't the case in most circumstances. I think perhaps, it is because they are in denial about their own abuse. Rather than face the grief and devastation that accompanies abuse, they tend to pretend it didn't happen. Therefore, when they see it happening again, they just.....don't see it! To look at it, would open up raw, gaping wounds that they have spent decades scabbing over. Again, it does not make it right, but I think it helps to explain. The greatest freedom you can ever achieve is to rise above having been wronged yourself, and take their power away to ever hurt you again. I believe this can only be accomplished if you get to the point of having forgiven them....or at least having pity for those who have wronged you. Much easier said than done, but the end result is your rising above the people who hurt you, and no longer being susceptible to the ghost of the past. Sherri, I am glad you are one of US, and I am proud to be associated with you.....even if it is thru the bond of electrons and fiber optics. You are obviously an amazing woman, and one of the core group of people who give us hope, and show us what true hero's look like.:blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:

 

[txsvicki]

I think the parents are accountable and should have called the police back when they claim to have found out that the 15 year old raped the 7 year old sister, but it wouldn't suprise me if there hadn't been sexual behavior going on amongst the 6 kids before then and if there's not some going on between the other kids now. I know for a fact that CPS will demand that the child leave the home/and try to file charges on the offender if he's old enough, but will leave other kids who are doing the same sexualized behavior in the household if they are under a certain age. People are also told that there's no medication for this, there are very few treatment centers to send the child, and that most don't stop the behavior and it will escalate. This isn't right either. Authorities shouldn't leave kids who are doing this in a home with small children.

 

[sherri79]

I would have to say your husband has made a few good choices himself! :blowkiss: You know, the issues with your Mom are going to be hard to reconcile. I agree with Amraann that your Mom was probably abused by him also. Does that make it right for her to look the other way when you were being abused? Absolutely not! In fact, on the surface, you would think someone who has been abused would be the first to stand up for others who are going through a similar situation. Sadly, this isn't the case in most circumstances. I think perhaps, it is because they are in denial about their own abuse. Rather than face the grief and devastation that accompanies abuse, they tend to pretend it didn't happen. Therefore, when they see it happening again, they just.....don't see it! To look at it, would open up raw, gaping wounds that they have spent decades scabbing over. Again, it does not make it right, but I think it helps to explain. The greatest freedom you can ever achieve is to rise above having been wronged yourself, and take their power away to ever hurt you again. I believe this can only be accomplished if you get to the point of having forgiven them....or at least having pity for those who have wronged you. Much easier said than done, but the end result is your rising above the people who hurt you, and no longer being susceptible to the ghost of the past. Sherri, I am glad you are one of US, and I am proud to be associated with you.....even if it is thru the bond of electrons and fiber optics. You are obviously an amazing woman, and one of the core group of people who give us hope, and show us what true hero's look like.:blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:

you guys have made me want to cry with all the things you have said. i am sure you are right about the reasons for my moms behavior. reasons but not excuses. my grandfather married my grandmother when he was 32 and she was 14. they had 3 girls. 1 ran off to marry at 16, my mother ran off and got married at 15 and the youngest just moved out at 16. i think abuse went on for 2 reasons. 1) all the girls left as soon as they could. 2) men like that dont suddenly start or stop being a sicko. i am sure he did it every chance he got starting with picking a child to marry. that said i still feel my mom has half the blame. the damage he did to her does not excuse her leaving me to suffer. i will never really forgive either of them but i am at the point where i wont let the anger eat at me. as a child i prayed he would die in his sleep and i meant it. when he died years later i felt no joy. i did feel a weight had been lifted but i was not happy. i have learned i can not be happy as long as i give them power over my emotions. the hate i can let go of. pity i am not sure i can ever find for them.

 

[Reannan]

Sherri said: ....the hate i can let go of. pity i am not sure i can ever find for them.

Totally understood. I sometimes struggle with the concept of forgiveness. For example John Couey, who kidnapped, raped over a period of days, and then buried little 9 year old Jessica Lunsford alive! :furious: How am I supposed to forgive him? I have decided that I don't, and I won't forgive him. For one thing, people should repent in order to be forgiven. John Couey has not repented to anyone, and he isn't going to IMHO. When the Jessica Lunsford thing happened, I was literally going insane over trying to understand how to deal with the sheer evil of it. That kind of hatred and obsession with wrongness and evil will rot you from the inside out. Therefore, I have to feel pity for those I cannot forgive. I pity him for freaking CHOOSING to live a life that was so self-centered and evil, that he could justify satisfying his own base desires by stealing the beautiful, joyful child that lived next door to satisfy his needs. Who the F do these people think they are, that they have a right to destroy innocence for their own selfish purposes? The thing I pity about them, is the obvious fact that THEY do not know, do not cherish, and cannot fathom the innocence, the goodness, the joy, and the sheer shinning beauty that is the core of the souls of the children they abuse. The molester's soul is filled with dark, dank, misery that they CHOOSE to keep the lid tightly closed upon thus, preventing any light from shinning in. Ok....I have rattled on enough. I just can't forgive these people, so I keep myself from rotting inside, by pittying them for the darkness that they wallow in. Despite being obsessed with true crime, I see goodness in people. I certainly see it in YOU Sherri! I see it in all of the regular people who care enough to come here and search and seek. My life is filled with joy and light......because I freaking CHOOSE it to be that way! 'nuff said!

 

[MREG2]

Totally understood. I sometimes struggle with the concept of forgiveness. For example John Couey, who kidnapped, raped over a period of days, and then buried little 9 year old Jessica Lunsford alive! :furious: How am I supposed to forgive him? I have decided that I don't, and I won't forgive him. For one thing, people should repent in order to be forgiven. John Couey has not repented to anyone, and he isn't going to IMHO. When the Jessica Lunsford thing happened, I was literally going insane over trying to understand how to deal with the sheer evil of it. That kind of hatred and obsession with wrongness and evil will rot you from the inside out. Therefore, I have to feel pity for those I cannot forgive. I pity him for freaking CHOOSING to live a life that was so self-centered and evil, that he could justify satisfying his own base desires by stealing the beautiful, joyful child that lived next door to satisfy his needs. Who the F do these people think they are, that they have a right to destroy innocence for their own selfish purposes? The thing I pity about them, is the obvious fact that THEY do not know, do not cherish, and cannot fathom the innocence, the goodness, the joy, and the sheer shinning beauty that is the core of the souls of the children they abuse. The molester's soul is filled with dark, dank, misery that they CHOOSE to keep the lid tightly closed upon thus, preventing any light from shinning in. Ok....I have rattled on enough. I just can't forgive these people, so I keep myself from rotting inside, by pittying them for the darkness that they wallow in. Despite being obsessed with true crime, I see goodness in people. I certainly see it in YOU Sherri! I see it in all of the regular people who care enough to come here and search and seek. My life is filled with joy and light......because I freaking CHOOSE it to be that way! 'nuff said!

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[southcitymom]

coming from you it means alot. we dont see eye to eye often but as i have said before i respect what you have to say as well. today has been full of awful stories. judging from the fact you and i have agreed alot today it must have been a bad day to be a kid. you see the good in every1 and when you get angry you know something really bad has happened to a innocent baby somewhere.

Sherri,

I do hope that you and everyone else at WS know that I am in no way, shape or form PRO-criminals and violence. It is true that when a crime occurs, I ache for both victim and perp, but if I could, I would at any time of the day or night step in front of a child to take the abuse on my own shoulders and spare him/her.

I cannot help the fact that I empathize IN TOTO, so to speak - it's just the way I'm made up. I don't expect all people here to be made up like me, and I genuinely respect, from the bottom of my heart and soul, people who process the terrible things we face here in a different way than I do.

There is no right/wrong in how we feel these feelings. For myself, I just try to be really honest here about my process. I appreciate it when others do the same.

This is a special place for me and I learn so much. I am grateful for you and everyone else - whether or not we see eye-to-eye on certain issues - every single day.

 

[dasaky]

SCM, will you and Sherri79 be my best friends? It's funny, but I find myself agreeing with one of you whole-heartedly on every topic. Also, I am such an admirer of both of you for what you've been through and survived. Y'all are so strong, and I'm in awe. <<bowing at your feet>> I also want to add that this place is full of people I admire. The events that shaped everyone of you into what you have become are mind-boggling. What a wonderful, eclectic, caring group of individuals. I can't say enough. Good thoughts going out to all of you.

Back on topic: I'll never understand those who think that harming a child in ANY way, shape or form is the thing to do. And I'm GLAD that I never will.

 

[imthemom]

The events that shaped everyone of you into what you have become are mind-boggling. What a wonderful, eclectic, caring group of individuals.

I just have to add to that, my mother was abused as a child and has grown up to be one of the best mothers and one of the most caring and compassionate people I will ever meet. She says that if she had not gone through all she had to as a child she would not be the person she is today and have the faith in God that she has today. It is said that any child so go through something so horrible but those who can overcome become such wonderful people.

 

[sherri79]

Sherri,

I do hope that you and everyone else at WS know that I am in no way, shape or form PRO-criminals and violence. It is true that when a crime occurs, I ache for both victim and perp, but if I could, I would at any time of the day or night step in front of a child to take the abuse on my own shoulders and spare him/her.

I cannot help the fact that I empathize IN TOTO, so to speak - it's just the way I'm made up. I don't expect all people here to be made up like me, and I genuinely respect, from the bottom of my heart and soul, people who process the terrible things we face here in a different way than I do.

There is no right/wrong in how we feel these feelings. For myself, I just try to be really honest here about my process. I appreciate it when others do the same.

This is a special place for me and I learn so much. I am grateful for you and everyone else - whether or not we see eye-to-eye on certain issues - every single day.

i am so sorry if i made you feel i thought you are pro criminal. i never thought any thing close. i know on some cases i see black and white issues where u see shades of gray. it is 1 of the things about you i respect. you habit of looking for good in people and your belief that there can be redemption is a great thing. on some cases you can open my eyes to a side i would not normally look at. i joke about the fact we do not agree but i like that fact. listening to what you have to say gives me a chance to look at my feelings with less of the anger i tend to bring to these cases. i'm sure it must be hard for you on some threads when 20 of us are screaming for blood to be the lone voice on the thread saying wait look at why this happened. when you say it i do look. i have a little more understanding for the parents that forget their kids in the car now. i once thought it did not matter if it was on purpose or accident. thanks to your post i now think it matters. i still think accident should get a small amount of jail time because it is neglect but i can be a project for you to work on. :blowkiss:

 

[southcitymom]

SCM, will you and Sherri79 be my best friends? It's funny, but I find myself agreeing with one of you whole-heartedly on every topic. Also, I am such an admirer of both of you for what you've been through and survived. Y'all are so strong, and I'm in awe. <<bowing at your feet>> I also want to add that this place is full of people I admire. The events that shaped everyone of you into what you have become are mind-boggling. What a wonderful, eclectic, caring group of individuals. I can't say enough. Good thoughts going out to all of you.

Back on topic: I'll never understand those who think that harming a child in ANY way, shape or form is the thing to do. And I'm GLAD that I never will.

Don't bow at my feet, dasaky - they are made of clay! But I would LOVE to be your new BFF!