Bobbisangel said:
I don't know what type of a kid Jonnie was but there are kids...teens...that no matter what rules you have in your home the kid refuses to follow them.
This is not uncommon in this day and age. I know because I am raising one.
It's easy to say what a person would or should do but you really have to stand in the other person's shoes before you make a judgment. I know quite a few parents/grandparents that are raising teens today and it is not a easy thing to do. Some kids are just so strong willed that they are going to live their life the way they want regardless.
We don't know the family or what their lives were like. For all we know the dad could very well be a loving father and wanted the best for his son and Jonnie may have wanted to do things his way and it created problems. It's so easy to lay the blame on the parents but in reality it isn't always that the parents are bad parents. Reading what the young people on that thread had to say it sounds like we are reading a lot into a situation that may have not been at all like is being suggested.
Bobbisangel, I definitely see what you're saying, but I HAVE stood in their shoes. I spent the first eleven years of my life being repeatedly abused by my sibling...
I understand there are some kids that are bad kids. BUT, it is the parent's responsibility until that child is 18 years old to know where that child is. My parents finally got their acts together, and had to commit my sibling to an institution for the protection of myself and my younger siblings, (whom weren't hated as much as I was - maybe because they're a lot younger), as well as for the protection of the psycho that was responsible for all of this in the first place. They didn't want to do it but they had no other choice. My sibling was almost 14 when the decision was finally made.
If Jonnie WAS a bad kid, maybe his parents hadn't gotten to the point that my family finally had. Maybe they didn't have the same degree of trouble or warning signs. But the bottom line is still that he was 17 years old, and at the very least, a missing persons report should have been filed. Had my sibling disappeared, I probably would NOT have filed a missing persons report, (and might still not although I try to forgive & forget), but my parents would have and DID on many occassions. I don't see how it can be true that his parents were good parents,
and that they loved him very much if this is the end result of his life & their relationships. Once in a great, great while you will find a person that seems bad by nature. Most often, however, these people are made. As much as my parents regret it, they came to realize that
they created my sibling and the behavior problems by their earlier inaction. Yes, they loved my sibling very much but no - they were not good parents when it mattered, and that's how our crisis began in the first place. So maybe Jonnie's parents loved him very much. Or maybe they were good parents. But I suspect that they weren't both.
ETA: I am also raising a difficult teenager right now so I can totally sympathize with those that also are.
