Parents pay kids for good grades

[Masterj]

That may or may not be the case, but if they don't have an education, they don't get the choice. Never fear though. The world will always need check out ladies and Wal-Mart greeters.

While you may be joking, this comment smacks of elitism IMO. A college education is not for everyone, nor does everyone have the luxury of being able to afford and attend college. Additionally, many very successful people do not have a degree (Bill Gates, for example). While not having a college degree may decrease your job prospects, we cannot fool the children of the future into thinking that a college degree automatically guarantees employment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I know many college educated people right now who are struggling to find a job in this economy.

Also, your comment implies there is something wrong with being a check-out person or Wal-Mart greeter. IMO, any kind of legal work is valuable work, and nothing that should be looked down upon.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

While you may be joking, this comment smacks of elitism IMO. A college education is not for everyone, nor does everyone have the luxury of being able to afford and attend college. Additionally, many very successful people do not have a degree (Bill Gates, for example). While not having a college degree may decrease your job prospects, we cannot fool the children of the future into thinking that a college degree automatically guarantees employment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I know many college educated people right now who are struggling to find a job in this economy.

Also, your comment implies there is something wrong with being a check-out person or Wal-Mart greeter. IMO, any kind of legal work is valuable work, and nothing that should be looked down upon.

Actually, its just what I tell my kids that they'll end up doing if they don't do good in school. Its an honest living, but let's be honest. If you've dreamed of becoming a doctor or an attorney as a child and screw up in school, you're not going to be a happy camper working as a check out clerk. Now if you don't have those dreams as a child, then you'll probably be fine.

 

[southcitymom]

While you may be joking, this comment smacks of elitism IMO. A college education is not for everyone, nor does everyone have the luxury of being able to afford and attend college. Additionally, many very successful people do not have a degree (Bill Gates, for example). While not having a college degree may decrease your job prospects, we cannot fool the children of the future into thinking that a college degree automatically guarantees employment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I know many college educated people right now who are struggling to find a job in this economy.

Also, your comment implies there is something wrong with being a check-out person or Wal-Mart greeter. IMO, any kind of legal work is valuable work, and nothing that should be looked down upon.

Well said. Honest work should never be denigrated. I certainly think more of my Mom's husband who works as a clerk at Lowe's than of my cousin who has an engineering degree and a law degree and lays around the house his mother-in-law pays for all night (he sleeps during the day)doing nothing.

 

[Cheetah]

While you may be joking, this comment smacks of elitism IMO. A college education is not for everyone, nor does everyone have the luxury of being able to afford and attend college. Additionally, many very successful people do not have a degree (Bill Gates, for example). While not having a college degree may decrease your job prospects, we cannot fool the children of the future into thinking that a college degree automatically guarantees employment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I know many college educated people right now who are struggling to find a job in this economy.

Also, your comment implies there is something wrong with being a check-out person or Wal-Mart greeter. IMO, any kind of legal work is valuable work, and nothing that should be looked down upon.

I just have to say that this was my parent's attitude and something that I regret every day of my life. My parent's were so against college that they would not provide me with tax returns so that I could apply for financial aid (which is required when you are under 24), by the time I was old enough I was working two jobs to make ends meet and did not have the time to attend classes. Here I am at 32 registering for college.

An education opens doors and challenges the mind. College exposes kids to subjects they would otherwise never study. No, it doesn't guarantee a job, but if you have good work ethic and a degree your chances are pretty damn good.

My child already has it in her mind that she will be in college for at least seven years.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

Well said. Honest work should never be denigrated. I certainly think more of my Mom's husband who works as a clerk at Lowe's than of my cousin who has an engineering degree and a law degree and lays around the house his mother-in-law pays for all night (he sleeps during the day)doing nothing.

That's not what I was doing. If you have a college education, you've got choices that you would not otherwise have. What you do with those choices is up to you. Personally, I'd like for my children to have all of the tools necessary for them to be anything they want to be. That means the best education they can get. If they choose to use their education sitting around on a couch, that's up to them, but it won't be because I didn't give them the opportunity to do something better.

 

[Masissy]

I pay for "A"s on report cards. During the year $5.00 per A and on the final report card of the year, $10 per A. As I explain to my kids, this is their job and they should be paid for doing it well. They're going to get my money one way or the other. This way, they're getting good grades, so at least I'm getting something for my money~! LOL Who knows, may even get them some scholarship money for college and then my few bucks now may save me big bucks in the future. So far, they're both bringing in straight As.

I never thought of it as their job - great idea. I'm going to be a copy cat Jeana if you don't mind.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

I never thought of it as their job - great idea. I'm going to be a copy cat Jeana if you don't mind.

Copy away!!!! :blowkiss:

 

[Cypros]

While you may be joking, this comment smacks of elitism IMO. A college education is not for everyone, nor does everyone have the luxury of being able to afford and attend college. Additionally, many very successful people do not have a degree (Bill Gates, for example). While not having a college degree may decrease your job prospects, we cannot fool the children of the future into thinking that a college degree automatically guarantees employment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I know many college educated people right now who are struggling to find a job in this economy.

Also, your comment implies there is something wrong with being a check-out person or Wal-Mart greeter. IMO, any kind of legal work is valuable work, and nothing that should be looked down upon.

Bravo! Well said! :clap:

College is NOT for everyone and young peoples' big dreams and future successes don't necessarily involve or require a college education. Most, however, require proper TRAINING and development of skills and thus the need, IMO, for more technical schools. I agree about the need for choices-- That is the advice I have given my own neices and nephews -- but if it is so important to have choices then why not actually PROVIDE young people with choices. Why should college be the only means of obtaining choices?
Why not have more technical schools and not make kids feel that they are substandard if they choose this route? A good plumber can make an excellent living and does not need a college education and may not be interested in one. The point is that we have created a one-track system that ignores the needs and goals and financial limits of a large percentage of the population.

 

[bakerprune64]

I'd say getting A's is going the extra mile, above and beyond their usual homework chores. I'd penalize a F or D, I'll definitely reward the A - after all, right now school is their job, and they may as well learn there are rewards for doing extra well at your job.

I agree! Although I personally don't give them money for their grades, I do take them shopping and buy them a reward for their good grades. My parents send my kids a check for $10 each time they make honor roll. So far they have been on the honor roll every semester since the 4th grade.

 

[Cheetah]

I never thought of it as their job - great idea. I'm going to be a copy cat Jeana if you don't mind.

It really is....which is why I don't mind paying for it. I do accounting for small businesses. My clients pay me to be accurate and have their work done in a timely manner. I tell my child the same thing goes for school. Her teachers give her an "A" at the beginning of every marking quarter. If the work is accurate and done on time, she keeps her A...and just like me she gets paid.

 

[bakerprune64]

Has anyone ever received an "F"?

Yep, me!! I was so grounded. The only thing I was allowed to do after school was go take care of my horses. I even got extra stall cleaning detail:sick: Try doing that in the Florida humidity and heat.

 

[sleuthin4fun]

We pay our children for their grades. They get a certain dollar amount for A's and a lesser amount for B's. If they have any C's on their report card the whole deal is off and they get nothing. This has worked very well for us especially with our 11 year old who is very money thrifty. Great motivation! Our children do not get a weekly allowance nor do they earn extra money for chores.

 

[bakerprune64]

We pay our children for their grades. They get a certain dollar amount for A's and a lesser amount for B's. If they have any C's on their report card the whole deal is off and they get nothing. This has worked very well for us especially with our 11 year old who is very money thrifty. Great motivation! Our children do not get a weekly allowance nor do they earn extra money for chores.

My kids asked me if they could have an allowance for doing chores at home:laugh: Of course I said no!! I told them that when the chore fairy came and started paying me for cooking,cleaning, etc. then they would get paid too. They haven't asked since then.

 

[Jeana (DP)]

Yep, me!! I was so grounded. The only thing I was allowed to do after school was go take care of my horses. I even got extra stall cleaning detail:sick: Try doing that in the Florida humidity and heat.

YIKES!!!! That's what I'm trying to avoid for my children!! Here in Texas, you can probably get a construction job or other manual-labor type job, but on days like today when its 104 degrees, it sure is nice to be in an air conditioned office. You can make decent money without an education, but you'll usually end up working harder and for more years for not as much income.

 

[JBean]

No money for grades. More verbal praise and lots of fuss at my house.
Paying money for chores always implied there might be a choice. So I never paid for them, they were expected and required. Non- negotiable.
They always got allowance as a member of the family. Non- negotiable.
I was never paid for grades or chores growing up and my parents were very generous and kind.
When I was in middle and high school and would need to go clothes shopping, my father would give me a budget. He would then require a report, with receipts attached, as to how I came to choose the clothes that I bought. So if he gave me $200, I could buy a single $200 item or 10 -$20 items or whatever. There were no restrictions, except that I had to write out how I came to choose. he would not approve, judge or disapprove of my decisions. I had to live with my purchases. My choices were my choices and I was the only one that had to live with that.
Well, it caused me to stop and carefully think through every purchase and most often I would make the better choices and avoid the trendy expensive impulse buys. As I would compose my explanation in my head, it just didn't make sense. Once in a while I would make the dumb purchase and knew it and learned from it. I very rarely do that now
It was a really effective tool in getting us to think about spending money and it was a great way to get us to write a report.

 

[GlitchWizard]

Is this a valid way to tell if someone is still a virgin? Just wondering.... I know my hymen broke long before I was sexually active.

Mine broke from horseback riding - however the doctor is still able to tell if you are sexually active or not. Not to be too graphic - but there's still some of it left hanging on if it was just damaged from tampons, horseback riding, etc. I'm sure by now there are other ways to tell by looking with a trained gyn eye, too.

I know what you, Cheeta, felt like when the doctor didn't think you were a virgin. I had an extremely old doctor when I was a kid - it was summertime, I had panty hose and blue jeans on. Bam! Yeast Infection. The old doctor told me that only sexually active girls got yeast infections and I was devistated that he would say that lie to my Grandmother. Thank God my Grandmother wasn't ignorant as he!

 

[Mira]

i think it depends on the kid.

i was raised by my auntie and uncle. they have a son a few years older than me. i did well in school, i loved it. he did awful, and hated it. i graduated valedictorian, he dropped out on his 16th birthday. no amount of money would have made him like school, or do well. he simply hated school.

he did ok for himself, he now owns his own business. i did fine too, i am what i wanted to be, a homemaker.

 

[Cypros]

You can make decent money without an education, but you'll usually end up working harder and for more years for not as much income.

That USED to be the case but not necessarily anymore. People are having a harder and harder time retiring because the income is not enough to cover the cost of living. And what is wrong with hard work? Personally, I'd rather NOT spend the rest of my working life trapped in an office (A/C or not) -- stiff suits, the same people and tasks day in and day out -- ugh!

 

[Cypros]

No money for grades. More verbal praise and lots of fuss at my house.
Paying money for chores always implied there might be a choice. So I never paid for them, they were expected and required. Non- negotiable.
They always got allowance as a member of the family. Non- negotiable.
I was never paid for grades or chores growing up and my parents were very generous and kind.
When I was in middle and high school and would need to go clothes shopping, my father would give me a budget. He would then require a report, with receipts attached, as to how I came to choose the clothes that I bought. So if he gave me $200, I could buy a single $200 item or 10 -$20, there were no restrictions, except that I had to write out how I came to choose. he would not approve, judge or disapprove of my decisions. I had to live with my purchases. My choices were my choices and I was the only one that had to live with that.
Well, it caused me to stop and carefully think through every purchase and most often I would make the better choices and avoid the trendy expensive impulse buys. As I would compose my explanation in my head, it just didn't make sense. Once in a while I would make the dumb purchase and knew it and learned from it. I very rarely do that now
It was a really effective tool in getting us to think about spending money and it was a great way to get us to write a report.

You had a cool dad, JBean.

 

[Amraann]

I raised my daughter on bribes - oh wait "rewards". I didn't use them for grades because she always had excellent ones up until her head injury - now I can't use it for grades because who knows what is not-trying and what is brain injury?

This said - I am still bribing her. When she starts college, we will go see the GYN. If she is still "intact" (virgin) she will get a truck to go to college with. If not, she's walking.

Right or wrong - probably depends how it's implemented. You can spoil a kid in a million ways, or raise them to learn the value of things in a million ways - it's all how you present it.

Someone once told me that the way to tell if you are spoiling a child is if you do something for them you do not feel comfortable doing. That makes sense. If they scream and yell and you give them something to shut them up - that is spoiling. If they make you proud and you buy something for them they don't expect, or cook a favorite meal or something - that is not spoiling.

That's the rule of thumb I follow.

I am absolutely stunned to read that a parent would do this to their child.
In my mind this equates to abuse.
If you did a good job raising her (NOT controlling her) Then you should not even second guess yourself nor seek a GYN to check. Her word should be enough.
Fear is not motivating and I fear for you and her that once she has that truck and realizes she is a free legal adult it will go very badly.
It should also be noted as stated above that the hymen not being intact does not mean ANYTHING. As many activities or even biology can make it not be.
Horse Back riding or gymnastics. When I was 4 I climbed up a bed and fell with a leg on each side of the foot board.

Back to topic..... with 4 kids I have probably tried every theory of postive re-enforcement or rewards or discipline.
I do not pay for grades or chores. If they need money for something they usually get it. In the real world as adults we are hardly paid to just do what we must.
They need to get good grades in order to further themselves and they needto know that sometimes you just do whats hard sop that you can be happy with yourself not for a reward. Being happy with you will lead to better things naturally IMO.
I do not condemn anyone who does reward their kids as each child is different. What may work for one will not work for another.