Reese Witherspoon: "I Wouldn't Want My Kids To Miss Out On Being Teased Or Bullied"

[Trino]

Everyone goes through this crap. I remember comments and events from my childhood but I'm not going to boo-hoo about it.

I'm not "boo-hooing" about it, simply stating this because it's relevant, i.e. teasing, taunting, bullying does not make one a better person.

 

[Paladin]

I'm not "boo-hooing" about it, simply stating this because it's relevant, i.e. teasing, taunting, bullying does not make one a better person.

It should make people tougher if they are picked-on/teased. That's the whole point of this thread.

I'm opposed to either extreme. I think too much teasing/bullying can have negative consequences, but so can over-protecting your child.

 

[southerngal]

Perhaps you were saying this tongue-in-cheek, but as a person who has lots of experience with the inner circles of cheerleaders, debutantes and all-girl schools, let me just say that those circles can be brutal.

Brutal is being too kind Girls IMO are the most vicious when it comes to bullying and I'm speaking from first hand experience. I was a cheerleader in HS but didn't exactly fit in with the more popular ones and those girls taunted me almost every single day for two years.

 

[sleuthin4fun]

What would Reese Witherspoon know about bullying and teasing? She is a former cheerleader, debutante, grad of an all-girls school.

Have you ever been around a group of cheerleaders? The behavior of most of them towards one an other is often times cruel and unusual. I have a daughter who is a junior this year she has been a cheerleader all through middle school and high school and has been a dancer for 14 years. She has decided that she is not doing either her senior year simply because she is "tierd of the drama". She is a flier and says "it doesn't matter what you do, if you are successful there is someone who is mad just because you can do something that they can not. If you fall, "that is your fault also and you have ruined the entire cheer". She has said that she plans to do things that are different than she has done before ie.... pottery, photography, drama and lacrosse. Part of me is sad that because of the way girls are allowed to behave the nice girls feel that they don't want to stay and participate in something they really enjoy. Another part of me though is proud that she is going to step out into something new.

 

[dee10134]

IMO.

I don't think she meant it in a bad way. I took her remarks to mean that she wants them to experience things they would normally experience, because those things can build character. I'm sure she means some of the normal joking kind of teasing. I know I was teased, and I think everyone is.

I think she seems to be a good mom and I think her remarks are taken out of context.

I agree.

 

[pedinurse]

i was teased a lot when i was in high school and middle school and i hated it. i think it was because i was smart and somewhat well off and pretty shy (i was described as snooty) but i did have friends from different groups that i hung out with - jocks, cheerleaders, everyone. anyway, i hated it because people would say snotty remarks about everything, i'm a sensitive person and i hated dealing with that crap. i graduated two years early because i just hated going to school and wanted to move on to college. i guess it was a good thing because i got pregnant the summer afterwards by my much older BF (whole other story).
anyway, when i see people from high school, then those people who i thought didn't like me now all are like - buddy buddy with me when i see then around a lot of the time, and the guys who i thought didn't like me wanted to date me. maybe they think i am easy? or maybe they want to get with me because i am accomplished with everything i have done so early? i'm kind like, what the crap? but i realize now that a lot of that attitude kids just give to each other all the time, that i am a sensitive person, and that kids are just mean to each other. period.

 

[MCDRAW]

My son was picked on in the sixth grade. He told his teacher on a boy and the teacher put my son on conduct. I went to the principal. The principal fixed that. But truly I think my son was a punching bag for the whole sixth grade class. I kept telling him that he would have to take up for himself. He eventually did and the bullying stopped. I may have been wrong to give him that advice but it worked. As soon as they saw that he wasn't going to take it anymore...they quit.

 

[MCDRAW]

I just don't think Reese meant it the way it was taken.

 

[Floh]

I'm with you on this, Idaho. Being teased and/or bullied is a normal part of the childhood experience. I don't think there is a single person in the world that hasn't had to cope with both - as children and as adults. It does help you build character. We do have to learn to deal with jackasses if we are going to have a peaceful, productive life.

Now - as grown-ups - it is our duty to know and to react appropriately when it is too much and is crushing a child.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[pedinurse]

kids have committed suicide over bullying. i don't think it is something to be taken lightly, and some kids are more sensitive than others. however, i do think that kids do a certain amount of picking with each other (heck even between siblings) so that is to be expected.

 

[LinasK]

kids have committed suicide over bullying. i don't think it is something to be taken lightly, and some kids are more sensitive than others.

Exactly!:clap: In fact, several of the school shooters were kids who were bullied or picked on. It's not something that should be encouraged. Reese was way out of line with her comments, whether she meant to be or not, that is never something you should wish on your kids!

 

[White Rain]

Exactly!:clap: In fact, several of the school shooters were kids who were bullied or picked on. It's not something that should be encouraged. Reese was way out of line with her comments, whether she meant to be or not, that is never something you should wish on your kids!

Hey Lina....sorry for what you went thru...
I was never one of the popular crowd, I always took up for others. The bullying/teasing behavior made me SICK!

 

[southcitymom]

I disagree, because I was bullied/teased for 3 years in Elementary School! 4th, 5th, and 6th grade were hell for me and my mother knew about it and did nothing about it, neither did at least my 5th grade teacher! It went on outside the classrom at recess and lunch time, when the teachers weren't around. The boys started it with name calling and the girls wanted to be popular with the boys, so noone would openly be my friend, even the ones who were my "friends". In 6th grade I was pushed into a fight with a tough girl and they formed a ring around me so I couldn't escape, expecting me to be pummeled. My only defense was to dig my nails into this girls arms. I dug so hard I drew blood. It wasn't character building, it made me ashamed and I ran and hid for the rest of the day. It lowered my self-esteem, not made me who I am!

P.S. since I didn't Multi-quote, the popular boys/girls were NOT popular because they were outgoing and friendly. Quite the opposite, they were mean!!!!!
At least one of instigators grew up and actually initiated saying "hi" to me at my 20th high-school re-union!

My sister had an experience like this in those grades - she was the social outcast and teased, bullied and despised on daily basis. That's why I said it's up to grown-ups to manage the lines between normal taunting/teasing/bullying (which is 100% normal behavior for slowly maturing humans) and abuse.

Dealing with everyday teasing and bullying is character building. Dealing with everyday abuse is not character building. There is a line.

 

[Paladin]

Exactly!:clap: In fact, several of the school shooters were kids who were bullied or picked on. It's not something that should be encouraged. Reese was way out of line with her comments, whether she meant to be or not, that is never something you should wish on your kids!

Wrong, these kids shoot up schools because they are mentally tweaked in the head and need psychiatric help. Kids who are bullied and then shoot up a school are in the VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST minority.

Again, I'm not advocating or supporting bullying, but damn, you can't protect your child from everything otherwise they're going to end up a bunch of socially inadequate yuppies.

Americans, stop breeding a bunch of complainers that can't cope.

Reese was not way out of line with her comments.

 

[Texana]

I understand what she was saying, but not all personalities respond the same way to teasing or bullying.

I had one child today just melt down. Turns out another girl on the bus was threatening her with physical violence if she didn't do as other girl said.

It was so horrible to see the child so upset and falling apart, and clearly, not a bit of what I was trying to teach was going in her head--I wish people would speak more carefully about bullying or teasing.

 

[White Rain]

Wrong, these kids shoot up schools because they are mentally tweaked in the head and need psychiatric help. Kids who are bullied and then shoot up a school are in the VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST minority.

Again, I'm not advocating or supporting bullying, but damn, you can't protect your child from everything otherwise they're going to end up a bunch of socially inadequate yuppies.

Americans, stop breeding a bunch of complainers that can't cope.

Reese was not way out of line with her comments.

You say "Americans, stop breeding a bunch of complainers that can't cope."
But yet, I just want to point out, Paladin, and was reluctant to do so, that SOME Americans who CAN'T COPE ( and I speak from experience...) are a product of their home lives...
I myself grew up in a VERY abusive mentally home life....nothing my mom or I did was EVER right...no matter that I was a straight A student...etc...more than that...my dad while proud, and I know this will sound funny, also put me down in every single way he could.
And this bled over into my school life...yep, I was picked on a time or two...for having a bout of acne, for being the "smart kid", etc....
And then I get home in the afternoon and it's "you didn't clean the dishes properly, etc..."
Ok, o/t what I really meant to say is...well crap I actually don't know...maybe that the "complainers who can't cope" are far different than you think they would be...
Maybe they had a far different home life than you...maybe you don't really understand what the "complainers" went thru etc....

 

[pedinurse]

My sister had an experience like this in those grades - she was the social outcast and teased, bullied and despised on daily basis. That's why I said it's up to grown-ups to manage the lines between normal taunting/teasing/bullying (which is 100% normal behavior for slowly maturing humans) and abuse.

Dealing with everyday teasing and bullying is character building. Dealing with everyday abuse is not character building. There is a line.

There is actually evidence that school teachers and administers ASSOCIATE and identify with the tormentors, and that is why so little action is usually taken against them at times... (ducking down now... i just read that in some article somewhere...) until they are like, overtly beating up on the kids... sometimes, they bullies are physically bigger, stronger than the kids they are picking on, the alpha kids, or in the case of females and some males, more popular and and socially attractive than the ones they are having the "conflict" with. when it really isn't conflict at all but a real bully situation.
that is why a lot of the time people turn their heads, play it down, whatever when the situation is really out of control. of course this isn't always the case but i can think of plenty of situations in which it is.

 

[Paladin]

You say "Americans, stop breeding a bunch of complainers that can't cope."
But yet, I just want to point out, Paladin, and was reluctant to do so, that SOME Americans who CAN'T COPE ( and I speak from experience...) are a product of their home lives...
I myself grew up in a VERY abusive mentally home life....nothing my mom or I did was EVER right...no matter that I was a straight A student...etc...more than that...my dad while proud, and I know this will sound funny, also put me down in every single way he could.
And this bled over into my school life...yep, I was picked on a time or two...for having a bout of acne, for being the "smart kid", etc....
And then I get home in the afternoon and it's "you didn't clean the dishes properly, etc..."
Ok, o/t what I really meant to say is...well crap I actually don't know...maybe that the "complainers who can't cope" are far different than you think they would be...
Maybe they had a far different home life than you...maybe you don't really understand what the "complainers" went thru etc....

Then I would say, stop protecting your child from everything, AND, stop berrating your kid because they didn't do something inconsequential the way you feel it should be done. All still a part of the raising of a child, and it still covers the extremes...that is..don't place your kid on a pedestal, and don't treat your kid like crap.

 

[bnhall]

don't place your kid on a pedestal, and don't treat your kid like crap.

My bf's husband is a math teacher and you'd be shocked at the number of parents who call him to try to get their child's grade changed. "My kid is not a B student. He/she deserves an A." Even though the kid hasn't done any of the homework and doesn't come in for help, which is offered every single period and before and after school. A lot of parents now think that their kid can do no wrong. Too many cannot deal with the idea that their kid might have to face something difficult and <gasp> might even fail or feel bad.

I think what Reese was trying to say is that her kids have a lifestyle of privilege that most kids will never have. She does not want that to turn her kids into little brats who think they are entitled to anything they want or who can buy their way into never being disagreed with. I don't think she wants her kids bullied in the sense that a lot on here are taking it; I think she means she wants her kids to have the kind of day to day interactions that she did when she grew up in Tennessee.

 

[LinasK]

Well now my daughter who is in first grade is already facing it! Yesterday she got wind that the little boy next door and another boy who is in her class were threatening,(and I do mean threatening) to chase her down, hold her down, and punch her!

My husband and I alerted her teacher. I don't care if it's only schoolyard talk- I'd rather be the overprotective parent, rather than not have acted should my daughter have been beaten up! My daughter was very scared when she chose to tell my husband about it, she wasn't trying to get these boys in trouble.