SUPERNOVANIC HAS SAID: I don't think it matters if Reeva loved him or not. I think what's important is that Oscar said he was more into her than she was into him. I believe him on this. A man being insecure in a relationship and having Oscar's personality can lead to some ugly behavior,, jealousy ... etc. ... not a good combo.
I have a problem with self-reporting. It is often ,delivered in personal defense, self-serving and unreliable. OP serves himself by making a case for his being terribly in love with Reeva, her not as much, and yet, their relationship loving and seriously so.
Doing so counters the theory he would be so enraged at her as to harm her. His claim that he was more in love than she garners sympathy and once again, goes to his not wanting to intentionally harm a person he is so besotted with. AND, let us not forget, Oscar is not only a gun-grabber, but a blamer. He gets ticked off, or overwhelmed, and off goes the gun, through the sun-roof, at the dog.
And then it's all someone else's fault and he didn't do it, or not willfully. The sub-text of his testimony about their relationship inequity implies that SHE'S to blame for his shooting her. He was just trying to protect her, so mistakenly killed her to do so. IF (and remember, Oscar is covering bases in advance) it's established to any probably degree he did mean to kill her or scare her or reflexively shot but without lethal intent it's HE we should feel sorry for and she who had the upper hand in the relationship, loved this very worthy person less...how dare she?
In the OJ case, the jury felt Nicole had beatings and her killing coming to her. In a variety of ways, the defense made this case. Thus, jury nullification.
But the interesting thing is how transparent Oscar is in casting himself as the martyred one in a star-crossed love affair. That he doesn't see how others might perceive his testimony goes to a streak of the sociopathic in his character. Before the uproar--I did say streak. And I do not mean to indict all sociopaths, in any case, as homicidal. Most are good salespeople, politicians, money embezzlers...
But relevant to OP's self-reporting is that a hallmark of this interesting character disorder is blatant lying, with seemingly no care for the fall-out ("I'll think about that tomorrow"), coupled with an inability to read other people's emotional responses and perceptions, especially as these are based on a moral compass the lying sociopath does not possess.
Though a tendency to misread the target audience a can undermine credibility, it can also, paradoxically, lead listeners to find it incredible that " he/she would commit to a glaring falsehood, when the truth can and will be determined later," or wonder that he/she could say something so appalling. She MUST be telling the truth as she knows it. As to the appalling blurt outs, the outright contradictions and discrepancies, he could not possibly MEAN what he said. Oscar must have slipped when he said X, Y, or Z. Nel rattled him.
I can't believe wholesale what Oscar reports. Many (not all) who end up with criminal charges are, if not "born liars," ones who acquire the habit to avoid the consequences of their anti-social behaviors.
Nel is trying to show this about Oscar. And since it's a cunning, baffling, and powerful trait, Nels must work to do so. As many of you point out, and often, and so does Nel, Reeva is not there to disprove or corroborate Oscar's narrative.