The HTC podcast with Heather Daybell is really helpful to understanding some Daybell family dynamics in CD's family of origin. It sounds to me that CD's mom had little to no power in the family structure, and was openly mocked for her body and any other shortcomings. Of course, that is HD's account, but I tend to trust her reporting of events.
I am not religious. I may have an entire axe shop to grind with organized religion, but I do understand and appreciate that it gives essential meaning to others.
However, I think that if the culture of a religion denies women fair access to power and control, it will always result in scary dysfunction somewhere. Also, if a religious culture places a premium on keeping up pleasant appearances in spite of dysfunction, that is where real atrocities can take cover.
Humans need a sense of agency and control to feel alive. It sounds to me that being a docile and accommodating homemaker is the traditional route for women to achieve peak authority in the LDS church. I believe LVD sought power and control through manipulating men because it was the only avenue she felt she had available to meet her insatiable need to control. She used her sexuality and creepy baby voice to lure in men who could give her money and position her power-adjacent because she was not interested in nor good at completing the traditional tasks of homemaking.
CD's mom, as opposed to LVD, appears to have gone limp in the face of her powerlessness. When the man in the family has full authority given by the church, women live in mortal fear of their own defiance all the time. It hurts less if you resign yourself and let it roll right over you. If you are looking for a zombie, this might be it. Of course, I do not really know who she is as a person, but this is the vibe I'm getting from the HTC podcast.
TD, on the other hand, kept putting out feelers to find her power elsewhere. I think her job gave her an opportunity to be free from CD's weird ideas and to be a rock star in her own arena. She also engaged in hobbies and activities where she could be a leader and receive praise and recognition. TD found a work-around, and I think she could have found a post-CD life where she could shine, if she had been given the chance.
Women are actual people. It is not to anyone's benefit to treat us like our ideas and priorities are irrelevant or that we will all be suited to a limited range of roles. This is not a threat, just feedback. If you share power and control fairly, we ALL benefit. If you deny fair access to power and control, people find another way, and it is MORE likely to be a manipulative way. Manipulation is the child of powerlessness.
The co-manipulation and power-jockeying between LVD and CD is all atangle, and it has a "which came first, the chicken or the egg" level of confusion. They were snared in the mess of each other's puppet strings and control sticks. BTW- what do they call the stick part? I want it to have a fun name like maniplulax or some such.