momto3kids
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Everyone looks from different angles at what is considered controlling.
Post your thoughts and insight here.
Post your thoughts and insight here.
But I don't think the issue is whether Nancy was truly controlled. Isn't it, rather, that Brad was controlling? Whether it was effective or not, and to what degree, does not make him any less controlling!
But I don't think the issue is whether Nancy was truly controlled. Isn't it, rather, that Brad was controlling? Whether it was effective or not, and to what degree, does not make him any less controlling!
But I don't think the issue is whether Nancy was truly controlled. Isn't it, rather, that Brad was controlling? Whether it was effective or not, and to what degree, does not make him any less controlling!
But what did he try to control?
1. Reducing the outrageous level of spending they both did.
2. Keeping her from taking their kids outside of the country without consent.
3. moving forward with getting the house ready to sell
4. ????
My opinion:
1. Justified and agreed to by her dad.
2. Justified as I've said many times
3. Petty and childish, but probably something many divorcing spouses go through.
So BC, despite his controlling nature did not to any degree control NC but is guilty by virtue of capability only?
AGAIN, you are focusing on JUSTIFICATION. I am talking about whether Brad was controlling, or not.
You can say a person is a controlling person whether they are successful at it or not!
For instance, say my spouse says he forbids me to go out tonight.
He hides the keys to the car from me.
Now, whether or not I find the keys and go anyway, or whether or not I am meeting another man or merely a friend for a cup of coffee... has not my spouse demonstrated that he can be controlling?
Isn't 'control' also a state of mind? If you say I'm not being controlled, but in my rel'p I feel controlled then who's right?
If my spouse tells me to do something and I do it because I want to avoid a fight or a scene or I want to avoid consequences of not doing it is that 'control?'
Who gets to decide the meaning of control? I would think the person in the relationship gets to decide what feels controlling for themselves.
Nancy told people she felt controlled and trapped. You can argue and debate whether she was or wasn't, but in her own mind, she was. She felt it, therefore she defined what it meant to her.
Isn't 'control' also a state of mind? If you say I'm not being controlled, but in my rel'p I feel controlled then who's right?
If my spouse tells me to do something and I do it because I want to avoid a fight or a scene or I want to avoid consequences of not doing it is that 'control?'
Who gets to decide the meaning of control? I would think the person in the relationship gets to decide what feels controlling for themselves.
Nancy told people she felt controlled and trapped. You can argue and debate whether she was or wasn't, but in her own mind, she was. She felt it, therefore she defined what it meant to her.
No, I think he has just demonstrated that he is an A-hole and has little to no control at all.
No, I'm asking you to add to the list of ways that he controlled her. I also offered my opinion on the 3 ways that people have said he controlled her. But please, add more to my list.
I think three ways is quite enough to determine that he was a controlling person.