Why are her parents coddling Casey?

[jeannebreault]

jeannebreault :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

I agree with you 100%. I must say your post is one of the only posts I have read that is non-judgmental and experience based. Thank you sharing your personal experiences.

I've learned (the hard way and over a LONG period of time) that the only thing I can do in just about any situation is share my experience, strength and hope. And, of course, any information I have!

I've become very careful in forming my opinions...after all, you know what they say about opinions... (If you don't know, pm me and I'll tell you :wink

 

[TURBOTHINK]

Would you feel the same way if your child killed your grandchild?

With scratch marks INSIDE the trunk of the car which indicated Caylee had tried to get out ??

 

[Short_Stuff]

They're "coddling" Casey because they are in denial, and they cannot get it thru their heads that their daughter does anything wrong. They have always helped her get out of everything, and that's part of Casey's problem.
They should tell her, tell the truth or we are DONE with you.
I'm sorry, but if this was my daughter, I'd shake the truth out of her until she'd tell me where my granddaughter is!!!
I have no pity for the grandparents, only for poor little Caylee!

 

[yolorado]

She could make a deal RIGHT NOW in exchange for the DP to show where her daughters body is. I'm sure LE would go for that. Choices. Casey always has/had choices.

Not a bit of sympathy for her or her parents. None.

It's tough to face reality when the reality is that your child may be going or has gone down the wrong path. Not only is your ego involved but you want to think that your child hasn't gotten themself in as deep as they actually have. Still, if the Anthonys really want to do the best they can for their daughter right now, they need to get help immediately so they can face up to the truth. Otherwise, the Anthonys may think they are supporting Casey but if they aren't careful they're going to "support" her right into jail for the rest of her life.

 

[sweetmop]

jeannebreault, Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Your stepdaughter is lucky that you were a kind, loving "mother" who wanted to learn about this diagnosis.

It is also interesting that you mention evil too, as I truely believe there is alot of evil in our world today, and it's working over time. And that, combined with a mental illness can be a deadly combination. Some people are more easily persuaded into a life of evil. Their " hanging out" with certain types of people, what they are exposed to, what becomes the norm for them. It can be something so evil, so disgusting to a normal person, and someone of weaker substance can be hooked right into it.

 

[jeannebreault]

my mother was BPD she created constant unending drama and chaos . you cope the best you can with whatever you have at your disposal.
Some abandon , some stay in denial some just withdraw some
eventually see reality but it can be a long winding road to get there

You cant even begin to imagine and " the experts " provide conflicting
information , guilt , shame , blame and various treatments that produce varying results but often making bad behavior worse .

Casey is responsible for what she has chosen ........period

You hit the nail on the head!

The only hope is to hold a bpd accountable without participating in the drama yourself...very hard to do without support! It doesn't look to me like any of the Anthony's have any support.

Casey is absolutely responsible for what she has chosen...the only problem is, we're not sure yet what she has chosen!

No matter the outcome...Caylee found alive (unlikely) or dead...we still may not know what she chose, i.e. killed Caylee herself or witnessed another take her life (deliberately or accidentally), sold her, "lost" her, etc.

The only recourse we have is the criminal justice system. Once she (and anyone else involved) have had their due process, she/they absolutely need to "pay the price!"

 

[JustMy2Cents]

they're "coddling" casey because they are in denial, and they cannot get it thru their heads that their daughter does anything wrong. They have always helped her get out of everything, and that's part of casey's problem.
They should tell her, tell the truth or we are done with you.
I'm sorry, but if this was my daughter, i'd shake the truth out of her until she'd tell me where my granddaughter is!!!
I have no pity for the grandparents, only for poor little caylee!

i couldn't agree more!

 

[TURBOTHINK]

This has bothered me from day one - first phone call from KC to home after being arrested - the first words were something like ....mom I saw your little cameo on tv.... and CA responds with........which one, I did 4 sweetheart....... I'm sorry but I think if my child had been arrested and was calling home for first time, I would be saying things like, omg, are you okay, can we come and see you, I'm so sorry you are in jail......... not well, I did 4 spots on television......................

In this situation, I would be saying things to her they would not release to the media.

 

[jeannebreault]

jeannebreault, Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Your stepdaughter is lucky that you were a kind, loving "mother" who wanted to learn about this diagnosis.

It is also interesting that you mention evil too, as I truely believe there is alot of evil in our world today, and it's working over time. And that, combined with a mental illness can be a deadly combination. Some people are more easily persuaded into a life of evil. Their " hanging out" with certain types of people, what they are exposed to, what becomes the norm for them. It can be something so evil, so disgusting to a normal person, and someone of weaker substance can be hooked right into it.

To be honest, I'm not sure how "loving" I was...I think it's been more about self-preservation!

 

[DAWN TREADER]

Deny, Deny, Deny is not a winning strategy. Just ask Scott Peterson. Or Kristin Rossum.

My advice to the parents is to encourage Casey to think twice about turning down the state's offer of partial immunity.

DT

 

[Jolynna]

Yes, on an emotional level we can all understand the horror of what the Anthonys face & we can understand them loving their daughter no matter what.

There are different ways to show love though. (Healthy & unhealthy)

You can can support your children & help them THROUGH bad times but you sure don't have to help them AVOID taking responsibility for the mistakes they made.

Why can't the Anthony's simply say, "We love Casey & we will not abandon her" instead of sending signals that they BELIEVE IN the dysfunctional behaviors & lies Casey continually presents to the world?

IMO, the Anthonys are NOT supporting Casey in a meaningful way.... they are only HELPING her to remain just as screwed up as she was the day she 'lost' her innocent child.

I think the Anthony's have been tiptoeing around Casey for so many years they are instinctively reverting to *what has worked before*.

No they aren't helping. There may have been a time when tough love may have made a difference. I don't know if there is a right or wrong approach to Casey now.

I'm giving her parents the benefit of doubt and thinking they are doing what they can to survive because the truth of their situation is more than they can bear.

 

[hannahsnana]

Yes, on an emotional level we can all understand the horror of what the Anthonys face & we can understand them loving their daughter no matter what.

There are different ways to show love though. (Healthy & unhealthy)

You can can support your children & help them THROUGH bad times but you sure don't have to help them AVOID taking responsibility for the mistakes they made.

Why can't the Anthony's simply say, "We love Casey & we will not abandon her" instead of sending signals that they BELIEVE IN the dysfunctional behaviors & lies Casey continually presents to the world?

IMO, the Anthonys are NOT supporting Casey in a meaningful way.... they are only HELPING her to remain just as screwed up as she was the day she 'lost' her innocent child.

Yes, and what does "loving" their daughter really mean? IMO, there are a lot of things that are called "love" that are not. I'm sorry, and I'm not a mean person, but for me truth trumps everything if I have to make a choice.

 

[cricket]

I'm the step-parent of an adult child with borderline personality disorder.

IMHO Casey probably has bpd (at a minimum - usually there are co-morbid disorders as well) and it's very difficult to diagnose and treat.

snip....

I suspect George and Cindy have developed, over many years, a pattern of dealing with Casey that minimizes the "drama." That might be what they are still doing now, either consciously or unconsciously. If consciously, they may have been advised by LE/mental health professional/etc to try to make Casey feel believed and comfortable and loved in order to have her open up.


After many years (and much counseling and prayer) I am no longer hostage to my bpd step-daughter, but it has been a painful journey. It's also painful to watch other family members continue to struggle with her. Some family members are on their own journey to deal with her, and others are in denial. All I know is I had to "apply the oxygen mask to myself before I could help anyone else."

This case is about as bizarre as they come, and Casey and her family are very easy to dislike and criticize.

Casey needs to be prosecuted and pay the price for what she's done already (lie, steal, etc.)...it's the only way for us to have a civilized society, and the only way she can at least begin to become a responsible adult.

If she is tried and convicted on any more serious charges (human trafficking, murder, etc) the same applies.

If any other family members aided/abetted in any of her crimes, or committed crimes of their own, the same applies.

:Justice:​

I always try to remember two things:

1. We are protected by a Constitution that states we are innocent until proven guilty and provides for due process.

2. I should not judge the actions of another person until I've walked a mile in their shoes.

:smiliescale:​

I certainly feel enormous anger :furious: about this case, but I know the anger is better directed toward the illness and/or spirit of evil.

Very well stated.

 

[Jolynna]

You hit the nail on the head!

The only hope is to hold a bpd accountable without participating in the drama yourself...very hard to do without support! It doesn't look to me like any of the Anthony's have any support.

Casey is absolutely responsible for what she has chosen...the only problem is, we're not sure yet what she has chosen!

No matter the outcome...Caylee found alive (unlikely) or dead...we still may not know what she chose, i.e. killed Caylee herself or witnessed another take her life (deliberately or accidentally), sold her, "lost" her, etc.

The only recourse we have is the criminal justice system. Once she (and anyone else involved) have had their due process, she/they absolutely need to "pay the price!"

I agree with you that it is VERY hard to know the right thing to do without support.

It is a lot easier to be on the outside espouting tough love than tossing out a bawling, sincere (but cunning) child who is begging and promising to change.

I bet the swearing and nasty Casey we heard on the jail tapes is just one of Casey's manuevers.

Thank you for your personal and insightful posts.

 

[LI_Mom]

I agree with you that it is VERY hard to know the right thing to do without support.

Support?


TES is in town to search for THEIR granddaughter & yet they're still using the media to get out Casey's kidnapping story.

Orlando is spending MILLIONS OF DOLLARS trying to find THEIR granddaughter & all they can do is keep saying Casey has good reasons for NOT cooperating & one day in the future, they'll be able to disclose the secrets.


The ONLY support they want is if it's in Casey's favor.... anyone who shows an interest in FINDING CAYLEE is treated with disdain.

 

[Jolynna]

Support?


TES is in town to search for THEIR granddaughter & yet they're still using the media to get out Casey's kidnapping story.

Orlando is spending MILLIONS OF DOLLARS trying to find THEIR granddaughter & all they can do is keep saying Casey has good reasons for NOT cooperating & one day in the future, they'll be able to disclose the secrets.


The ONLY support they want is if it's in Casey's favor.... anyone who shows an interest in FINDING CAYLEE is treated with disdain.

I meant back when there was a chance of helping Casey the Anthonys needed some kind of support group or counseling. People with personality disorders can fool and reek havoc upon all in their path and most people don't have a clue what the right approach is without professional guidance and support.

TES is a miracle to all with missing children. I don't mean to sound as if I am downplaying that.

I was just wishing the Anthony's had gotten some kind of help and support years ago.

I am not criticizing them for not realizing the severity of Casey's problems (as another poster said, this kind of problem is hard to diagnose). But, I still wish very much that something could have gone down differently so that we wouldn't now have need of TES.

 

[LI_Mom]

I meant back when there was a chance of helping Casey the Anthonys needed some kind of support group or counseling. People with personality disorders can fool and reek havoc upon all in their path and most people don't have a clue what the right approach is without professional guidance and support.

TES is a miracle to all with missing children. I don't mean to sound as if I am downplaying that.

I was just wishing the Anthony's had gotten some kind of help and support years ago.

Oh, ITA that the Anthonys should have sought help... for themselves & for Casey.

Funny.... I don't fault them so much for the mistakes they might have made in the distant past.... we ALL make mistakes. Millions of parents have had children like Casey & they also believed that they would grow out of the stage & straighten out when they matured.... if the family just had patience.

I'm more than willing to wait until we know WHEN Casey really started to show signs of anti-social &/or illegal behavior.... not just the typical obnoxious, surly, lazy, ungrateful personality traits that MILLIONS of normal teens also show.

IF Casey's slide was AFTER Caylee was born... her parents were really in an impossible corner..... the family dynamics shifted & all of a sudden Casey has THE ultimate 'weapon' to use against her parents.


Like I've said so many times.... I just wish the Anthonys would stop trying to convince the PUBLIC to believe in Casey. They are NOT helping ANYONE & they are ONLY making a bad situation much, much worse.

 

[Chilly Willy]

With scratch marks INSIDE the trunk of the car which indicated Caylee had tried to get out ??

Scratch marks INSIDE the trunk? Not according to the 400 page report. I believe (could be wrong) the marks were on the outside of the trunk.

Do you have a link to this info, please?

 

[sonicsleuth]

With scratch marks INSIDE the trunk of the car which indicated Caylee had tried to get out ??

I must have missed this? Were there scratch marks inside the car? Forgive me, I'm a newbie but have been consumed by this case for a while now.

 

[boogiebear]

After reading those 400 pages that were released, it became obvious from Cindy Anthony's conversation with the friend Ryan, and then with Amy that Cindy has known for quite awhile that her daughter lies about everything. It is also obvious that Cindy did not trust Casey to care for Caylee on her own, outside of their house. Cindy called her daughter a thief, a sociapath(to Ryan), stole from her grandmother(Cindy's mother), and she could not be trusted.
This to me, means they (the parents) have known for a very long time that their daughter was not right and needed help. George and Cindy Anthony made the decision long before this current situation to either ignore, placate, coddle, and not get any professional help for their daughter. I am not sure if this was done for the good old Southern reason of not looking bad to the neighbors, but whatever was done, or not done did not work, and many people are now suffering for it.
If they believe that Caylee is dead, and that was her body in the trunk, they would also have to believe that Casey is involved somehow. It would crash their world down. They have been living in denial for a very long time. When the truth is laid before them, it will break them. Cindy Anthony is cracking already.