I find this interesting (there's more in the article, but this is what stood out to me the most):
A
narcissistic parent can be defined as someone who lives through, is possessive of, and/or engages in marginalizing
competition with the offspring. Typically, the
narcissistic parent perceives the independence of a child (including adult children) as a threat, and coerces the offspring to exist in the parent’s shadow, with unreasonable expectations. In a narcissistic
parenting relationship, the child is rarely loved just for being herself or himself.
Numerous studies have been conducted on the subject of narcissistic
parenting and its impact on offspring. It's important to distinguish certain parent-centric tendencies from chronic narcissistic parenting. Many parents want to show off their children, have high expectations, may be firm at times (such as when a child is behaving destructively), and desire their offspring to make them proud. None of these traits alone constitute pathological narcissism. What distinguishes the narcissistic parent is a pervasive tendency to deny the offspring, even as an adult, a sense of independent self-hood. The offspring exists merely to serve the selfish needs and machinations of the parent(s).
[...]
Jealousy & Possessiveness
Since a narcissistic mother or father often hopes that the child will permanently dwell under the parent’s influence, she or he may become extremely
jealous at any signs of the child’s growing maturity and independence. Any perceived act of individuation and separation, from choosing one’s own academic and
career path, to making friends not approved by the parent, to spending time on one’s own priorities, are interpreted negatively and personally (“Why are you doing this to ME?”).
In particular, the appearance of a romantic partner in the adult offspring’s life may be viewed as a major threat, and frequently responded to with rejection, criticism, and/or
competition. In the eyes of some narcissistic parents, no romantic partner is ever good enough for their offspring, and no interloper can ever challenge them for dominance of their child.
“How dare that woman take my son away from me. Who does she think she is?”
― Anonymous
