He would have fallen hard for her whether Shanann was around or not. It wouldn't have changed his decision about the murder. There just would have been more lies and sneaking around if she hadn't gone. It wasn't the the distance, it was because he had never loved another woman like that before. Imo
Here. It is long but good.
Written by a woman on QUORA. The first answer that (ironically) came up when I put “the question that Chris Watts ought to have asked” (from my previous post) into Google. This woman, the author, is married to a malignant narcissist. Bottom line - NK might have not been the biggest love of a malignant narcissist, CW. She merely was the new “Supply” (see below). She surely would not have been the last one. She is very lucky to be alive.
“First stage…Love Bomb this usually starts with an infraction the Narc either senses or the result of something that happened to make Him/her feel insecure. I am perfect again. I notice him asking for more opinions, saying nice things about me, and doing extra things for me. It might even include some 1/2 a$$ed apology. Not a full apology because a NPD IS perfect…This cycle runs 5–7 days. I find this stage lasts longer if a “new” Supply has rejected him.
In this cycle I try and compliment him when I see him doing good. I try and build him up. ( of course, I realize that he is an empty hole that can’t be filled.) During this stage I do pick up many tidbits of information that comes at me sideways. For instance, out of the Blue, MY NPD husband said, “Men are All dogs , they will have sex with anyone.” Start listening closer and see what You will find out that You didn’t know.
Second Stage Devaluing Sage…This is the stage where I am a piece of *advertiser censored*, My family is a piece of *advertiser censored*, I can do no right. I am gaslighted, triangulated and The devaluation slips in slowly until I am getting a full blown case. This cycle also lasts about a week. Since NPD’s mirror what they see and don’t like about themselves this is the stage to actually listen to what the NPD is saying. You then find out what they are thinking about themselves. During this stage I will sprinkle some corrections to his lies. Notice I said “sprinkle”… I never start a full blown fight. that just gets me all upset and achieves nothing. I never fight because anytime an argument can and sometimes will turn into a rage.
New Content ( added AU 201…I also find that this is probably a time when My NPD is trying to hook in a new Supply. He is devaluing me so he does “NOT feel guilty” for what he is doing or intends on doing. It gives him many excuses to do what he knows is wrong. When I hear the tirades they seem like lists and more times than not He is actually mirroring HIs faults. I can listen to this and realize what he really “knows” his faults are. Since His value is determined by a New “better”Supply, he feels real good about himself.
Third stage Discard stage. This is the stage where My NPD husband starts to rage, He starts feeling entitled, He starts to brainwash me, spreading bad rumors around about me etc. He has discarded me mentally but he has NOT discarded me physically. I especially see this stage when NPD has a new “playmate” and is hiding that. I think he uses the discard stage to feel guilt free to continue with his playmate. This stage can last for quite a while. Sometimes during this stage I will agree with him on his assessment of me. “Yes, I am a piece of crap, You should leave me” Since I babysit for My daughter and live at her house part time that is when I usually leave. when I get back NPD realizes he crossed a line and is back to stage #1.
If You can learn to identify these stages as they are coming, You will know that You have some peace in the first stage and some of the second stage. If Your husband is a cheater, then You will notice how his moods change depending on his love interests. When he has been discarded himself by his new love interest then he falls back into stage one or two. The cycle times will change with each individual.”