Found Deceased VA - Noah Tomlin, 2, Hampton, 24 June 2019 *ARREST*

[BlueBerry101]

I also want to add that every post that I have made on here is only my opinion. They are not to be used elsewhere. Only to remain on Websleuths. Thank you.

 

[BlueBerry101]

Thanks for the link to the article -- and it looks to me like you did it right!
The paternal grandmother's write-up was well-written and well-thought-out, IMO. I'm sure she and the folks on Noah's side are grieving. It is sad that they couldn't get to Noah before this awfulness happened. It seems that everyone who knew Noah is grieving except the one who should grieve the most.

I couldn't have said it better myself. It seemed as if there is alot more that the grandmother wanted to say but I understand why she chose not to. I also understand what she meant by thinking at first that it was all a sick joke to get at Noah's Father. I have known women like that. Well... I call them girl's, because a real woman has better sense than to do immature things like that IMO... If that was her first thought when Noah went missing then that in itself speaks volumes to what kind of a person this JT really is. It's sad. I can't wait for it all to come out in the open. Idk why but for some reason, I feel that I need to know what happened to have closure myself. Maybe it's because this is the first case that I have followed from the beginning. Noah definitely reached my heart. I'm glad he was found and will be laid to rest, but I need to know what happened to this poor little boy.

 

[BlueBerry101]

True, but out of 10 children the grandmother adopted the three who are their bio grandkids while three went to their fathers and the set of twins were adopted out to non family. The baby is in foster care.

So yes, you could say the grandmother didn't step up for Noah but it sounds like the mother was problematic and I'm not sure how often they even saw him. IMO she at least made sure three kids live in a safe home with family. That's more than we've seen in most cases here. MOO.

Maybe the Grandmother couldn't afford to raise all 10 children... Maybe she couldn't get to the others to adopt them for some reason? Ik not all of them were her bio grandchildren... Maybe something to do with the law prevented her adopting any of the others? Idk... But at least she did adopt three of them and gave them a chance at a better life. Ik 10 children would be a huge undertaking for anyone.. expensive as well as emotionally/physically draining. I couldn't imagine myself trying to keep up with ten kids. IMO this Grandma did what she could and shouldn't be criticized here.

Just wanted to add that I agree with your post MsMarple... LoL
After I reread what I wrote it kinda sounded to me that I was trying to argue with you or something. Just wanted to let you know that was not my intention... I was just stating my opinion of the Grandmother. I guess I got a little defensive of her after reading some other posts about her.

 

[BlueBerry101]

And I know we both could say so much more.

I had a foster sister whose mother had child after child and farmed them out to any family member or person who would have them. You know what that does to a child's psyche? To be abandoned by their own mother? It doesn't matter how much the people in their lives love them, they will always feel the loss of the mother-love they never had.

It is not only just physical abuse but also emotional and psychological abuse that is inflicted on these children. Oh, but lets ignore the damage done to the children and focus on how the mother and sperm donor have the right to make more children to damage.

NO ONE has the right to keep reproducing their own victims just because they can.

Until we stand up for the rights of our children, we will keep finding them thrown away in garbage dumps.

Bravo!!

 

[Grammar]

The grandmother didn't step up for Noah but did for his biological siblings. I think that is very odd as well as her comment that they initially thought the missing child was a "prank." I'm glad LE didn't treat it as a prank.

JMO

You can’t just go up and kidnap your grandchildren. It has to go through proper channels. Perhaps she would have taken in Noah and the baby once DCF and the court removed those two from J’s custody also. Or maybe she already had all she could handle. She and all those children were paying for the actions of her son and J. You can’t force someone to have a vasectomy, but I’d have sure been on his butt if he were my son.

As for their thinking it was all a “prank,” that doesn’t necessarily mean they weren’t taking it seriously. I would imagine that every possible scenario was going through their heads. I have met people who would do that type of thing

 

[Momof4RN]

I was going to post this morning wouldn’t it be nice if a “Noah’s Law” came out of this?

Hampton community comes together to discuss ‘Noah’s Law’

 

[Momof4RN]

ITA. It will be accomplished when CPS is removed from the control of a state's family services agency and moved to be under the control of the State's law enforcement agency. These children need law enforcement protection.

JMO

Yes! This is a fantastic solution.

 

[Marshmallow]

I refuse to blame the grandparents in any way for what happened to Noah. I do not understand why anyone would. It is obvious that they have stepped in and up for their grandchildren many times and to imply that they are in anyway to blame for Noah's parents actions (or lack of) is beyond wrong.

 

[mickey2942]

I was going to post this morning wouldn’t it be nice if a “Noah’s Law” came out of this?

Hampton community comes together to discuss ‘Noah’s Law’

Great. Exactly what I DON'T think should happen!

"More funding for substance abuse treatment".

These people just don't understand that drug addiction does not cause child abuse. I have seen heroin and meth addicts who are actually "good" parents. Not great, but they at least didn't beat or kill their kids. Drug addiction is not synonymous with child abuse and neglect.

BTW, I saw in this thread about SNAP benefits are "topped" out, that is not true, states run their own programs, so what is true for benefits in one state, is not true for the program in another state.

 

[Momof4RN]

Great. Exactly what I DON'T think should happen!

"More funding for substance abuse treatment".

These people just don't understand that drug addiction does not cause child abuse. I have seen heroin and meth addicts who are actually "good" parents. Not great, but they at least didn't beat or kill their kids. Drug addiction is not synonymous with child abuse and neglect.

BTW, I saw in this thread about SNAP benefits are "topped" out, that is not true, states run their own programs, so what is true for benefits in one state, is not true for the program in another state.

Yes. JMO but would like to see a “Noah’s Law” focus on preventing children from being returned to the home of a parent who is a convicted child abuser or neglecter. That alone would have prevented Noah’s death. Again all JMO but I believe once a parent severely hurts their own child those parental rights should be stripped permanently. Otherwise the abuse only escalates until it results in death or permanent irreversible damage I.e. brain damage that I often see.

 

[PajamaSleuth]

I appreciate the grandmother’s statement. She sure seems to care about the children.

Her son is the father of the three oldest, that she is raising.

The twins have been adopted by an unknown family. But she does not say who their father is. It could be that she is their paternal grandmother. Possibly, she was able to care for older three but the twins required more care than she could provide. I certainly couldn’t fault her for that.

I’m hoping all of the children are flourishing.

 

[girlhasnoname]

Science and statistics? Oh please! This was never a family in the first place. What family? He has a woman who bore him. She was no mother. She was no parent. Siblings spread out all over the place. He was not unified with a family. And no returning a child to their “family” is not always the best solution to protect a child. Your science and statistics needs to get up with the current times and the current heroin epidemic. I’m certain current science and statistics will show that returning children to these parents puts them at great risk of danger, neglect, and more importantly lack of love and security that all children need. Not sure how many more babies need to die at the hands of their “mother” before this dumb theory goes out the window.
It’s no different than encouraging a battered wife to go back to their abusive spouse. As a society we never do that in fact we give so much education and assistance to remove the wife from the abusive environment permanently. Why on earth would we not do the same for battered and neglected children? JMHO

BBM
YES, exactly! Yet we often continue to send babies, toddlers and children back into a highly, emotionally charged environment where there is NO ADULT looking out for their best interests. A lot of times the abuser is even more angry for having had the 'embarrassment' and knowledge of the children removed to begin with.

 

[lonetraveler]

Took a break and now just checking in to see any update. Please someone tell me there has been an arrest for Noah's murder.

 

[girlhasnoname]

I agree the grandparents shouldn't be baring the burden of what happened with JT. They were concerned and loving enough to adopt 3 children already and that is more than most anyone would or could do. I'm sure they are heartbroken.

The blame lies squarely on the shoulders of JT. She is the one who brought these children into the world with no plan, means, or desire to care for them. I hope she's in prison for the maximum allowed time. Little Noah should not be dead. Period.

 

[mickey2942]

Yes. JMO but would like to see a “Noah’s Law” focus on preventing children from being returned to the home of a parent who is a convicted child abuser or neglecter. That alone would have prevented Noah’s death. Again all JMO but I believe once a parent severely hurts their own child those parental rights should be stripped permanently. Otherwise the abuse only escalates until it results in death or permanent irreversible damage I.e. brain damage that I often see.

True. I have said it before, there is zero potential for rehabilitation for child abusers. Zero.

Normal people don't abuse kids. You can't "fix" or treat psychopathy.

 

[MissMalowe]

10 kids.
I see sterilization has been a hot topic with strong differing views discussed already, so I'm definitely not going there again. However, if you have had a child (or SEVEN children) removed from your care or signed rights over previously and you continue treating your uterus like a clown car, every subsequent child should be removed immediately. Period. No questions asked. If you can't get your act together, tough $#!+.

 

[LietKynes]

I see sterilization as a slippery and dangerous slope....
But -- children for parent(s) who continue to abuse their own babies and use drugs should have all of their children removed asap.

There are many who are waiting to adopt, and others I know who are providing decent, loving foster homes.

Poor Noah and his siblings.
Did they ever know a happy, safe day in their entire lives when in the egg donor's care ?
Did they ever have a full tummy and a clean bed ?
I doubt it.
Did they experience a slew of strangers coming through their house to sell or buy narcotics ?
Probably.

 

[BlueBerry101]

Great. Exactly what I DON'T think should happen!

"More funding for substance abuse treatment".

These people just don't understand that drug addiction does not cause child abuse. I have seen heroin and meth addicts who are actually "good" parents. Not great, but they at least didn't beat or kill their kids. Drug addiction is not synonymous with child abuse and neglect.

BTW, I saw in this thread about SNAP benefits are "topped" out, that is not true, states run their own programs, so what is true for benefits in one state, is not true for the program in another state.

Even as I am writing this there is a little voice in my head screaming "Don't! Just don't! Hold your tongue! Do not respond!" But I have to say SOMETHING! So here goes.... Really? How exactly can being a good parent and being a drug abuser even able to be put into the same sentence? I mean, come on... Being a drug abuser in itself already IMO makes someone not a good parent no matter how you look at it. Chosing to abuse drugs while you are responsible for the lives of other small helpless human beings is irresponsible... How can a heroine abuser be considered a good person? From what I've seen after doing this particular drug a person is incapacitated to the point of losing conscienceness for an undetermined amount of time... Who takes care of the little one during this time? And meth? I have seen the effects of meth users.. IK sometimes it can make a person lose reasoning and can make them very paranoid and they act... There are no pretty words here... It can make them mad for no reason... Idk I've never done either one of these drugs.. but I cannot tell myself that a drug abuser can be a good parent, ever... This is all my own opinion...

 

[LavenderLotus]

Even as I am writing this there is a little voice in my head screaming "Don't! Just don't! Hold your tongue! Do not respond!" But I have to say SOMETHING! So here goes.... Really? How exactly can being a good parent and being a drug abuser even able to be put into the same sentence? I mean, come on... Being a drug abuser in itself already IMO makes someone not a good parent no matter how you look at it. Chosing to abuse drugs while you are responsible for the lives of other small helpless human beings is irresponsible... How can a heroine abuser be considered a good person? From what I've seen after doing this particular drug a person is incapacitated to the point of losing conscienceness for an undetermined amount of time... Who takes care of the little one during this time? And meth? I have seen the effects of meth users.. IK sometimes it can make a person lose reasoning and can make them very paranoid and they act... There are no pretty words here... It can make them mad for no reason... Idk I've never done either one of these drugs.. but I cannot tell myself that a drug abuser can be a good parent, ever... This is all my own opinion...

For what it’s worth, I kicked heroin without any pressure from anyone (no CPS or courts) several years ago to be a better parent.

 

[MsMarple]

Maybe the Grandmother couldn't afford to raise all 10 children... Maybe she couldn't get to the others to adopt them for some reason? Ik not all of them were her bio grandchildren... Maybe something to do with the law prevented her adopting any of the others? Idk... But at least she did adopt three of them and gave them a chance at a better life. Ik 10 children would be a huge undertaking for anyone.. expensive as well as emotionally/physically draining. I couldn't imagine myself trying to keep up with ten kids. IMO this Grandma did what she could and shouldn't be criticized here.

Just wanted to add that I agree with your post MsMarple... LoL
After I reread what I wrote it kinda sounded to me that I was trying to argue with you or something. Just wanted to let you know that was not my intention... I was just stating my opinion of the Grandmother. I guess I got a little defensive of her after reading some other posts about her.

No worries, I got it as intended but I know what you mean, that sometimes a discussion gets skewed as it goes along.

And yes, I agree that the grandmother did much more than most in these cases - adopting and raising three kids at a time when they should be looking forward to retiring isn't a walk in the park IMO.

Sigh, I'm so sick of "baby mommas" and "baby daddies." Sometimes it feels like we're talking about feral cats instead of people. MOO.