"The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference."
Understanding what the above statement of truth means is one of the most important things I ever learned.
The events as they happened are outlined well here for us to keep perspective on what JP has confessed to, that we know of, which is much less than the sum total of his crimes against the Closs family, the survivor Jayme, only 13 years old, 5 feet tall, and weighing 100 pounds.
It's been asked here" Well, how would you feel/ react if it were your child?" and the automatic response has been " Appalled at what he's done but would love and support him."
Everyone's entitled to set their own parameters regarding what evil in a mind and soul they will accept.
I would choose indifference regarding the man I once gave birth to from the moment the evidence made it clear, and I was sure he'd murdered two innocent parents in cold blood and sadistically kidnapped, held and likely did horrible things to their child.. I would not support anything about him if he held a little girl captive for 88 days and only stopped because she escaped from him. I would never speak his name again. Total indifference. Whether he lived or died would no longer matter to me because of the lives he'd taken. I am not co-dependent and I am not an enabler of evil.
Birth is an event of chance, relationships ending are a matter of choice which, to me, far outweigh the chance that a killer was born because of me.We can't choose what an adult does, but we can choose how respond after it reaches the maximum of evil, the level of hurting, murdering others.
The only regrets I'd have was that he was ever born, because he was raised with an abundance of love shown and proven to him. He was in a stable home without any deprivation or violence. My deep sympathy and sorrow would only be for his victims. I'd be as much of a victim advocate for them as any other person.
He would be dead to me for the rest of his days on earth, because we are quick to cut out physical cancer but somehow feel a totally diseased mind and soul deserves different treatment if there is a genetic link to that person. I disagree. .
JP likely has never loved anyone in his life once he was old enough to choose to love or not love. I don't blame his parent or parents for loving him, nor his siblings. That's their choice, and not mine to judge. One day, I think feelings may change, like they do for many relatives of sadistic killers.
If love and concern could rehabilitate the mind of a sociopathic killer or invoke one iota of change in the most violent of all criminals, then love could rehabilitate robbers, thieves, those who wounded victims but didn't manage to kill them. Our prisons would be emptied if forgiveness, acceptance and love were all it took to rehabilitate people who likely were born with a desire to harm others.
Likewise, I neither would expect or request any support or love from any friend or family member if I went on a rampage of killing a couple where they were, shot point blank in the heads, and stepped over the man's body like debris as I was taking their child out of the house to torture. I would know exactly why I never heard from my family again. We reap what we sow. Forgiveness is not possible nor appropriate in some extreme situations, and what JP did is what I consider to be a good example of unforgivable.
Respectfully, IMO.
Wow, let me see if I have the words.
First of all, I entirely get what your point is and why one would decide this. I learned the very hard way in life, and it took me a long time, that one has every right to cut themselves off from family or friends who are toxic or wish you nothing well and to NOT feel guilty about it. Your post above fits into that very same concept.
With regard to JP, I feel at 21 it would be difficult for a parent when it is their child. I am not saying they will not come to find that or that if he had never been caught that he very likely would have done the same or worse again, and one day they would need to realize and face that but I would imagine right now it is a process for them and probably a grieving process if they had no real clues as to the depths of what was going on inside of him and what he is all about.
I have come to a point in life where I try harder to recognize evil or even someone not good hearted. People who are not evil have a disadvantage--we do not think like evil, we think there are reasons or excuses, instead of distrusting after we learn there is a reason to, we offer our trust first and often right off of the bat. We make excuses, if only his childhood, or maybe if he had not suffered this or that or if I had done this or that differently, and we guilt ourselves as well as parents, children, friends, you name it.
I think it is somewhat our nature to if not minimize then to try to find a reason to explain the unexplainable. We need to know for instance something is not random so we feel safer if we live in the same area. We need to find a cause or a reason he/she is like this. I know I tend naturally towards that. We are taught to forgive. Etc. I could go on...
I do not think all criminals are inherently evil but the acts in this particular case defy almost any other logic. Even though I recognize my thought patterns are that of someone who cannot comprehend doing such a thing and I am far more awake these days than years ago in trying to open my eyes to evil, I still have to remind myself not to think about a perp or less than good person the way I think generally, like a mostly decent person would. Forgiving, understanding, not comprehending there is sometimes just pure evil without explanation. Most decent people do not get it because we do not think as they do, we have empathy, we care, we have something in us that would stop us from EVER doing such a thing. Not sure if that made sense or I worded that as well as I wanted to....
There is at the very least an absolute lack of empathy or emotion for other living creatures aside from himself to be able to commit such atrocities in cold blood and premeditated where JP is concerned. imho.
I hope I put this correctly to show I get your meaning entirely.
I do think with any family when it comes to their child it will be a process and theirs is just beginning. I think they are shedding tears and are probably absolutely devastated (giving them the benefit of the doubt as we do not know anything further) while I am very unsure that he cares one bit whatsoever but tries to act as if he does... For the family it is a grieving process that has just begun...
I do know that most parents who would have to face that their child did such a thing would be absolutely destroyed by it. And destroyed is not even the right word, I do not have a word strong enough... Maybe would be almost annihilated by it...? May be the wrong use of that word but it is the one that comes to mind...
Thank you for a different point of view; I entirely get what you mean and you are very strong to voice it as the trend is towards knowing the parents love this child and want to be there for him. I am one that has said as much. We are human and it takes a lot sometimes to see what is in front of us as we want to believe the best... Or find help... Or a reason...
