Found Alive CA - Sherri Papini, 34, Redding, 2 November 2016 - #24

[Liadan]

I think this case is just going to die off. Some made money, some got fleeting notoriety. But I think it's going to die off, go into oblivion, be forgotten.

Maybe, but it is hard to remain silent about something so big. One day, there will be a crack and the floodgates will open.

 

[CocoChanel]

In addition to everything else “wonky” in this case, what still makes me think SP is lying is that she’s isn’t afraid to live in the same home, on the same street. I’m assuming she’s alone all day when KP goes to work and goes out alone to fetch her children from day care. I can’t fathom KP would allow that if he thought unknown kidnappers were out there lurking. I can’t fathom SP could function there under those circumstances either. Why go back there, even if the house is family owned? A tiny apartment a hundred miles away in an unknown location for safety and peace of mind would make more since if this story was true. I can’t get past that.

I realize we are assuming many things in this case without many public facts. I just have to say this about children in daycare. I have been a working mom with 2 kiddos under the age of 5. I would have done ANYthing to be able to stay home with my children, but like many, could not afford to do so. I cannot see how a ‘supermom’ could be a stay-home mom and still send her young children to daycare. There might have been previous discussion about this, and perhaps we do not know for sure if they were still using daycare after the purported abduction. I just had to say this would be so foreign to me as an approach to caring for my children. But then again, it would all make sense if a serious mental health issue was involved, and that is what I am leaning to.

 

[TTF14]

I realize we are assuming many things in this case without many public facts. I just have to say this about children in daycare. I have been a working mom with 2 kiddos under the age of 5. I would have done ANYthing to be able to stay home with my children, but like many, could not afford to do so. I cannot see how a ‘supermom’ could be a stay-home mom and still send her young children to daycare. There might have been previous discussion about this, and perhaps we do not know for sure if they were still using daycare after the purported abduction. I just had to say this would be so foreign to me as an approach to caring for my children. But then again, it would all make sense if a serious mental health issue was involved, and that is what I am leaning to.

This has been discussed to death at the beginning of this case. She was able to "be" (portray) a supermom because she got breaks from her kids.

 

[CocoChanel]

This has been discussed to death at the beginning of this case. She was able to "be" (portray) a supermom because she got breaks from her kids.

I apologize for bringing it up again. So sorry.
Not able to delete my offensive post..
Please scroll and roll instead.

 

[charminglane]

Coco - You did nothing offensive.

 

[katydid23]

I was a stay at home mom with 2 young kids. And I sent them to a community preschool type of day care two days a week, from 9 to 2.

In order for me to afford to stay home, there were some important things I needed to do to help my husband in his work. I could not do those things effectively with 2 toddlers under foot.

Also, I quickly realized that the preschool/daycare time was vital for my kids growth and learning as they socialized with others and experienced social rules and expectations, necessary for kindergarten. They LOVED the play time and the new friends and experiences.

Most of the 'SAHMS' that I met also used some sort of part time daycare for similar reasons. Even if you 'stay home' ---you have responsibilities and things that need to get done. From experience I learned that my kids would rather be singing songs and playing on tricycles with their friends than watching me make important phone calls or read emails that need to be replied to.

 

[bears10]

I realize we are assuming many things in this case without many public facts. I just have to say this about children in daycare. I have been a working mom with 2 kiddos under the age of 5. I would have done ANYthing to be able to stay home with my children, but like many, could not afford to do so. I cannot see how a ‘supermom’ could be a stay-home mom and still send her young children to daycare. There might have been previous discussion about this, and perhaps we do not know for sure if they were still using daycare after the purported abduction. I just had to say this would be so foreign to me as an approach to caring for my children. But then again, it would all make sense if a serious mental health issue was involved, and that is what I am leaning to.

Many parents want their kids to learn to socialize. Just because they send their kids to daycare doesn’t mean they’re bad parents. Sorry you couldn’t afford to do so, but some parents can, and choose to let their kids socialize and learn while mom/dad get a break. Nothing wrong with that at all.


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[bears10]

I don’t even have my own birth kids but I can’t deal with the criticism towards stay at home parents who put their kids in daycare a couple days a week. As if it’s a crime. Of all the red flags in this case, I think it’s crazy people choose to pick the daycare issue as the most glaring red flag.


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[Hippiemomof5]

I don’t think the daycare thing is a red flag at all. I know plenty of sahms that choose daycare for their kids for a couple hours or days a week. I don’t think it fits the whole “supermom” persona but it doesn’t matter to the case at all, IMO.

I’ve been a sahm since 2000 and we have six kids from 1-21. I’ve never used daycare but do leave my kids with either my mom or my mil on occasion so I can grocery shop or run errands without kids in tow. When my older kids were smaller, it was a hassle to unbuckle three kids at every stop. Now they’re teens and would rather not go along so I don’t mind that either. They get grandparent time and I get peace and quiet for an hour or two. �� Usually a baby under one goes with me everywhere but once they’re more on solids and predictable for feedings, I’m ok leaving them for short runs to the store.

 

[CocoChanel]

Coco - You did nothing offensive.

Thank you charminglane.

 

[lonetraveler]

I realize we are assuming many things in this case without many public facts. I just have to say this about children in daycare. I have been a working mom with 2 kiddos under the age of 5. I would have done ANYthing to be able to stay home with my children, but like many, could not afford to do so. I cannot see how a ‘supermom’ could be a stay-home mom and still send her young children to daycare. There might have been previous discussion about this, and perhaps we do not know for sure if they were still using daycare after the purported abduction. I just had to say this would be so foreign to me as an approach to caring for my children. But then again, it would all make sense if a serious mental health issue was involved, and that is what I am leaning to.

I'm so glad that you've brought this up because I've been thinking the very same thing. Money had to have been tight and husband couldn't have made that much. Daycare is extremely costly especially for two children. I can't see any justification for spending that much when you have a "SUPERMOM" available.

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[lonetraveler]

This has been discussed to death at the beginning of this case. She was able to "be" (portray) a supermom because she got breaks from her kids.

I have to disagree with this. Supermoms don't spend u necessary money on childcare when money is tight.

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[lonetraveler]

I apologize for bringing it up again. So sorry.
Not able to delete my offensive post..
Please scroll and roll instead.

You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. It is a very valid question many of us have and rightfully so.

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[lonetraveler]

I don’t even have my own birth kids but I can’t deal with the criticism towards stay at home parents who put their kids in daycare a couple days a week. As if it’s a crime. Of all the red flags in this case, I think it’s crazy people choose to pick the daycare issue as the most glaring red flag.


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I feel it's a very valid question for a proclaimed Supermom who doesn't work with money tight to add u necessary financial burden on the family.

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[Jo in Calif]

I was a SAHM and mine went to pre school 3 days a week, I never thought of it as daycare.

 

[CocoChanel]

I was a SAHM and mine went to pre school 3 days a week, I never thought of it as daycare.

I don’t either.
I guess it is a murky area.
Pre-school several days a week for several hours a day seems different than what I would call daycare, but it seems to be totally an individual perspective.
And to be fair, we have no idea what child care arrangements this family had/has. I was only mentioning it from my own perspective, which is not at all intended as a criticism on anyone’s individual choices.

 

[CocoChanel]

You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. It is a very valid question many of us have and rightfully so.

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Thank you lonetraveler.

 

[charminglane]

In the 70's, my younger brothers would go to the high school, where the seniors had a child care class. My Mother trusted this babysitting service that helped students earn credit and gain experience with children.
It was free!
Maybe something similar for the Papini's.

 

[RANCH]

I'm so glad that you've brought this up because I've been thinking the very same thing. Money had to have been tight and husband couldn't have made that much. Daycare is extremely costly especially for two children. I can't see any justification for spending that much when you have a "SUPERMOM" available.

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I wonder how "tight" their financial situation was. I have no idea what the Papini's expenses vs income was.

I've never had kids so I have no idea what the average cost of daycare is or if there's ways to get it at a reasonable cost.

Do people with kids have to make a lot of money or forgo any kind of preschool or day care? Poor people are excluded from that kind of activity or care for their kids?

 

[Caffeine]

I wonder how "tight" their financial situation was. I have no idea what the Papini's expenses vs income was.

I've never had kids so I have no idea what the average cost of daycare is or if there's ways to get it at a reasonable cost.

Do people with kids have to make a lot of money or forgo any kind of preschool or day care? Poor people are excluded from that kind of activity or care for their kids?

Tough to say, daycare can be incredibly expensive. I don't personally feel like they had a ton of disposable income so why they utilized this type of service when mom wasn't working...I don't know.

However, based on income you can qualify for assistance with childcare so perhaps that played a role.

From a financial standpoint, I never understood this because common sense would dictate that in a situation where income was meager and one parent didn't work - the kids would simply stay at home.

But again, you can qualify for varying levels of assistance with this.