Cindy's eulogy for Caylee

[Ariane]

No matter what she had written, there would be people who found fault with it somehow and never could have been satisfied by anything written by CA. But I think she did a lovely job in what had to have been very difficult to write. After acknowledging how so many strangers were captivated by what we saw of Caylee and feel saddened by the loss, she said that for those who actually knew her, the loss is even more painful and may never heal. As someone who didn't know Caylee, I do not feel hurt by what is simply the truth. We know her from some photographs and a few clips of video which reveal a vibrant, caring, lovely little girl. But they knew her every moment, they knew her hugs and kisses, the sparkle of her eyes, the smell of her skin, her first steps, her first words. I'm not addressing any individual here or elsewhere --and I may not be understanding what people mean--but IMO, if any strangers do have their feelings hurt by this, maybe they should consider whether they have become so emotionally involved in this case that they want to feel--to sort of pretend to themselves--that they really knew Caylee, and therefore resent anything that interrupts their fantasy. I don't think what she said was meant to discourage people who did not know her from attending, OR to discourage their caring, but to acknowledge the outpouring of affection from afar while expressing how great the grief of those who knew and loved her.

It is very common (and appropriate) for obituaries to ask that instead of buying flowers, people make donations to a charity. And it is wonderful that Caylee has inspired people to help so many other children who are less well known than she became posthumously. I think that must help them feel like she did not die in vain. It would have been nice if she had mentioned TES since they did get many donations in honor of Caylee and spent much time and money .... but I suppose Cindy is still having difficulty reconciling her feelings about those who she felt did not support her hope (her denial) and perhaps still does not see how unreasonable it was, because facing what the evidence points to is still so painful. I'm glad she did not say anything about Casey besides listing her.
ETA: just saw the comment by Valhall who did a great job at making the point of the task of writing an obituary for 2 groups.

 

[Doodlelover]

You are right. I cannot even read all the other posts in this thread.

You know that if they were bashing anyone but Cindy like this, they would be banned instantly or given a "warning".

I think some posters didn't understand the eulogy ... here's a summary:
IT'S ABOUT CAYLEE

I understand how you feel and wasn't going to post, but I guess I feel like if CA made the eulogy only ABOUT CAYLEE, then I wouldn't be left with a bad taste in my mouth.

There are some things you just don't say, like the rest of you will get over it but we won't.

The parts about Caylee are beautiful and I truly feel for the A's but I just can't get past them using CAYLEE's eulogy to publicly dig at some of their enemies. The didn't even thank the hundreds of volunteers who looked for her and to leave TES out was a slap in the face.

Even after all that I was okay but the Caylee Foundations for missing children just does not sit well with me. She was NOT a missing child, in the sense that most are. Her Mother knew where she was, and most likely (innocent until proven guilty) was the one who killed her. That is not the same as a child that goes missing and the WHOLE family has no ideas where the child is. All Casey had to do was tell where she was.

But to sum it up, the Eulogy was absolutely what I expected of CA, a loving tribute to her grandaughter with a bit of competition over who gets to grieve more and a public snub to the people who annoyed her (TES, their extended family) and bit of advertisement for their new Charity work.

Sorry if this sounds harsh and offends some who think it was just a eulogy, it was but it was also so much more.

 

[Zoe Bogart]

The posts on this thread are nothing compared to the comments being left on the Sentinel's website. Ouch!

 

[radio]

If I were doing a memorial for a murdered grandchild,
I would be at complete peace throwing out every whack
job and nut case I new of.:hand:
jmo

 

[Trailerparkgirl]

i think cindy did a wonderful job on that eulogy (where i am we call them obituaries, when i think of eulogy i think of a speech given in a church, so my initial reaction was kinda stumped, but then realized it was an obituary...anyway...)
great job...it was beautifully written...

 

[LancelotLink]

I have decided it is an Eulogobituary

:clap:

 

[RevCrim]

Cindy should have gone to a minister or funeral diector for advice on writing this. I really can't decide if it is an obit. or a eulogy.

Cindy "owns" everything. JMHO

This entire thing is what one would put in a death notice in the newspaper-prior to a funeral. The public is not invited to the funeral- therefore this is inapproprate.

If she wanted to make nice comments about her granddaughter- she should have waited for the memorial- that is where people who knew the child, get up and say something nice, or tell a cute story about Caylee-
But- not to advertise for donations- People do no go to a memorial to donate, nor are collections taken.
Doing it now is just another CA-ism.

 

[marlap]

If I were doing a memorial for a murdered grandchild,
I would be at complete peace throwing out every whack
job and nut case I new of.:hand:
jmo

So would I! Given the nutcases and rude people screaming on their lawn and throwing rocks at their house, I would be shocked if they didn't do everything in their power to ensure that Caylee's memorial is dignified and respectful!

I followed Samantha's case & here's what her mother had to say in her eulogy:

"Nothing can bring our baby back," she said, choking back tears. "But knowing that her death was handled with the utmost integrity and her life cherished by so many does bring some solace. We are overwhelmed by the love people have shown Samantha.

"We always knew she had a gift for the world but it never occurred to us that her greatness would be realized in her death." (my bold & source http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,58680,00.html)

Erin said that during Samantha's memorial.

I am certain that we will see thanks given during Caylee's memorial for all the help the A's received. BC even stated in his presser that the reason the A's wanted to hold the public memorial before the private burial was to thank everyone who helped search for Caylee.

I don't know if any of you followed the Samantha Runion Case....her mother is the most capable women ever to grace the earth. Her heart iis pure and it's broken, yet her words are full of stregnth and hope. She is someone to emulate in these terrible times. Little Samantha stole my heart. I hope she gets to be the one who greets Caylee. Two litttle angles like that playing in heaven has to bring some joy or peace.

(my bold) That is just beautiful!

Because of Caylee, so many other children have been the recipient of the kindness and generosity from those who have donated on her behalf. Donations have been made to numerous organizations such as Toys for Tots, Shriners, St. Jude's Hospital, Make-a-Wish Foundation, Boys and Girls Clubs of America, Orlando Rescue Mission and Kid Finders Network. Another child will receive a new smile after receiving multiple reconstructive surgeries to repair a cleft palate.

I think Caylee would be proud of her grandparents for giving to other children.

I think she would be proud of them too!

Or that all of her failings and weaknesses during this catastrophic event in the life of her family would be under constant scrutiny, ridicule, and scorn!

Have we become so consumed by obsessive sleuthing that we've lost all
perspective about our own need for good taste and decorum, instead
assuming entitlement to just jump on every nuance of this "eulogy," "announcement," or "obituary" by grieving grandparens?

At least for the next several days, give this family respite from merciless
nitpicking and disparagement as they attempt to formally mourn THEIR
grandchild, great-grandchild, & niece.

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

 

[LancelotLink]

To me it sounded more like an obituary and I think it was written by their lawyer but thats just my opinion

I think you are right.

 

[pirate]

I read that Eulogy with an open heart and mind. I wanted to walk away from it feeling empathy for Cindy.

What I saw instead were little jabs made at everyone from TES (exclusion from recipients of donations) to the public (..truly knew her...), carryover of Cindy's agenda to exclude people, and more requests for money.

I wanted to feel close to tears when I finished that article. I wanted to feel like I knew Caylee a little bit better. I wanted to feel like a jerk for all of the negatives I've said and felt about Cindy's conduct. I truly looked for that, because ultimately, I want to believe that the Anthony's hearts are in the right place.

I got none of that. And my feelings at the end of the article were questioning the CMA Foundation- I assume this will be the source of income for G&C now.

I'm very disappointed. At first it was in myself because I was critical. But after reading the "Eulogy" again, I'm angry at the author and the minds who felt it was appropriate to publish something that is more of a commentary and call it a "Eulogy."

I'm sorry I can't feel differently.

 

[Duelist Pearl]

This is an extended obituary. There are no limits on the length of an obituary other than what the local newspaper will place on you. It is customary to have an obituary printed prior to a funeral or memorial service if possible to announce where the service will be, etc. I think we can conclude with 2 months in between the remains being found and the date of the memorial service that it was possible to have the obituary printed prior to the service. Many obituaries also serve as brief eulogies for the public. I see this no differently. In fact, considering the publicity surrounding this case, I see it proper both in content and form.

With that objective review of "etiquette" behind us...looking at what Cindy says here I would say she did a wonderful, irreproachable job on this. An obituary is typically (for families who don't have the entire nation involved in their loss) a public statement of what friends and family members of the deceased have enjoyed and then lost. It is a public statement of memorial to the person lost, and grieving FOR THOSE WHO KNEW THE PERSON. Cindy has been faced with writing an obituary that services strangers who have come to care for Caylee but not personally know her, as well as those "friends and family" who personally did. She pulled that off flawlessly. She did so by acknowledging all those out here in the wide wide world who have been touched by the loss of Caylee, but by also representing the smaller group who actually have lost a little girl in their personal lives. I'm not sure I could have done as well. Cindy could have written this obituary as a traditional one, and never mentioned any one else but friends and family.

Concerning some one's statement that she didn't even ask for donations for the church where the memorial is held: Why would she? The Anthony family has been supported by the pastor and staff of Eastside Baptist Church since July 2008. The larger First Baptist was selected to receive the possible vast presence for the memorial. It has already been stated on local news outlets that the the entire memorial service (including all charges by the First Baptist Church) have been paid by large donations of two local families in Florida. Cindy's naming of Eastside is her one way to assist that church in all the charitable work they have done for the Anthony's over an extended period of time. Her requests that donations go to a variety of charitable organizations instead of spending the money on flowers that would go to the Anthony family eventually is totally acceptable and in this situation the most proper thing to do.

In conclusion - Cindy did a wonderful wonderful job at writing something that I can't imagine having to even consider as a task before me. Her obituary for Caylee is impeccable.

Cindy is not on trial for the murder of Caylee. I think it highly improper that this obituary has been posted here for dissection as if you are actually performing some type of benefit to society in your deconstruction. This is not sleuthing...it's hatefulness, it's uncivil, and it's embarrassing.

:clap::clap::clap:

 

[KenoshaKid]

Still weird ..
Why release it to the public BEFORE the event even takes place?

Its almost as if it is a funeral announcement with a bit of obit thrown in.

I thought it was nice. I do hope that she thanks people at the actual service, though. I pray nobody gets nasty at the memorial.

I bet it will really frost KC's donuts to have Caylee be in the limelight like this.

 

[Ames]

wow this is a tough crowd.
I thought it was very heartfelt and beautiful.

I thought that it was too. I cried...

 

[tfrohning]

:clap::clap::clap:

I love your post, thank you. I was starting to wonder if anybody has to tear this apart.

I was speechless when I started to read the thread. I thought it was beautiful. People are reading it the wrong way.

But I think she wrong that we will forget about Caylee. She will always be in my heart. I still think alot about Trenton and he will be forever be in my thoughts. I pray that someday his family will have closer.:clap:

 

[beckaroozie]

Did anyone notice that Lee was last? And they didn't say her uncle, Lee Anthony - just Lee Anthony. That's really odd. They mentioned relation on everyone else, except him. JMO

 

[LancelotLink]

Did anyone notice that Lee was last? And they didn't say her uncle, Lee Anthony - just Lee Anthony. That's really odd. They mentioned relation on everyone else, except him. JMO

That is the g-grandparent. Uncle Lee is named after Cindy.

 

[karma-girl]

I hesitated before reading the 'anouncement' for fear of what CA would say, knowing ppl would pick it apart. After reading, I thought it was nice and rather neutral. She did not go into emotional details about Caylee, that is personal and I respect that. She was not asking for donations...read your local obits, almost everyone has an "in lieu of flowers" which means if you were going to send flowers, we would rather you give that money to someone that can use it (not that you didn't know that already). She speaks of the non-profit orgs. because the public went into a frenzy when rumours surfaced that the donations were being used as an income for the A's. They are wonderful organizations and the ppl who donated probably feel good that their money went to a great cause. As far as I can see, the orgs. benefiting from this tragedy is the only good thing to come of this, and she shared this with us, making the bitter pill a bit easier to swallow.

To all the ppl complaining about obit/eulogy/announcement, would you happen to be the same ppl complaining about 'where the money was going'? I certainly hope not, because if so, she answered your request and you are still griping! :waitasec:

 

[bunnyphoenix1]

Because of Caylee, so many other children have been the recipient of the kindness and generosity from those who have donated on her behalf. Donations have been made to numerous organizations such as Toys for Tots, Shriners, St. Jude's Hospital, Make-a-Wish Foundation, Boys and Girls Clubs of America, Orlando Rescue Mission and Kid Finders Network. Another child will receive a new smile after receiving multiple reconstructive surgeries to repair a cleft palate.

I think Caylee would be proud of her grandparents for giving to other children.

I thought it was public donations they gave to those charities? Not the gp's own money. And now it appears they will draw a salary for the family from future donations.

 

[bunnyphoenix1]

I followed Samantha's case & here's what her mother had to say in her eulogy:

"Nothing can bring our baby back," she said, choking back tears. "But knowing that her death was handled with the utmost integrity and her life cherished by so many does bring some solace. We are overwhelmed by the love people have shown Samantha.

"We always knew she had a gift for the world but it never occurred to us that her greatness would be realized in her death." (my bold & source http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,58680,00.html)

That is classy and beautiful.

 

[secretsquirrel]

Those of you who are tearing this apart may want to pick up a local paper and see that many obits do in fact request donations in lieu of flowers etc. The fact that you're tearing this apart says a lot more about you than it does about Cindy. It's unfortunate and sad and it's exactly why Cindy threw in the line about only those with a pure heart/intentions being welcome at the service. No matter what she does, you'll tear her apart. If she had a public memorial you'd tear her apart, private memorial - the nerve of her.

Interesting that many of the other families of missing children/murdered children have done exactly the same things in terms of donations, flowers, foundations and donations to other places other than the church sponsoring the memorial. But that hypocrisy is missed in the witch hunt.