Kyron Horman's stepmother is a profile in contradictions....

[STEADFAST]

If I was a SAHM AND contributed not only my sweat but money to the household, darn straight I'd be bothered to hear my husband refer to it as his money and expect me to check with him before spending.

Holy cow. That just flew all over me.

The cat ran off when I hollered "WHAT????"

lol

I can see him being concerned about overspending. It's really upsetting and truly damaging to have a spouse who overspends. But Kaine calling their money "my money"??? That attitude is damaging to a marriage, too.

 

[Calliope]

Oh, I forgot to mention the part where she wanted a report every day of what "color" Kyron earned in class and then wanted him disciplined at home if he didn't get the best "color."

She did come across as pretty controlling and self-centered. Weird how she could be so giving yet so inconsiderate. She does seem complicated, but I'm not sure she's more complicated than anybody else. I think if you take random anecdotes from a bunch of people in anybody's life, it will paint a complicated and not so flattering picture.

This article neither reinforced nor weakened my opinion that Terri is responsible for Kyron's disappearance. It did clear some things up, that we had been wondering about, though.

It didn't clear up why, with a master's degree, she couldn't find a regular teaching job. I really wonder about that.

I don't know about that color code thing. Yellow = inattentive; sounds like by they time they get down the line, things would have progressed pretty far. Remember Kaine talking about making Kyron listen in school? It was in one of the interviews with Desiree, possibly the first one. If they were working with him regarding this matter, I can see her wanting to know if he was being inattentive. Could it be that was part of the plan to get him to mind in school? And I noticed she wanted Kaine to discipline his own son.

If that's the worst example he can come up with in how she treated Kyron ...

Also interesting is that he brought Kyron over to her apartment at a young infant. He was born in September, and she moved in with Kaine in December, so he would have been quite young at the time. So it appears she HAS been in his life from the beginning, eh?

 

[butterfly1978]

How does this help find Kyron?

Kyron is missing and the best that MSM can do is post a timeline of Terri's history... Who cares what she did in 1992 or 3 whenever it was, who cares if she opened a business with her first husband and it failed and she sued, who cares that she got her 2nd husband to adopt her son... HOW DOES THIS HELP FIND KYRON?
Why can't this news station write an article like this about Kyron, talk to friends and family of Kyron tell about who he is, what he does, how funny he is their memories of him.... Make Kyron human, not just a name and stop making Terri a celebrity, I swear I thought I was reading about a celebrity in one of those celebrity magazines.. UGGGGGGGGGGG

 

[Calliope]

If anyone was sitting on the fence after this, I don't know how they can't literally jump off.

Terri had the teacher give her a report EVERYDAY on Kyron's behavior and then she would punish him for hours.

Sorry, that is NOT ok.

That's not what the article said.

 

[gardeness]

If I was a SAHM AND contributed not only my sweat but money to the household, darn straight I'd be bothered to hear my husband refer to it as his money and expect me to check with him before spending.

Holy cow. That just flew all over me.

The cat ran off when I hollered "WHAT????"

lol

Oh, yes! Wouldn't fly over here, but we do talk to each other before "big" purchases...

I don't know...I was previously in an abusive marriage with a man who flipped when I bought a scented candle~one never knows what "spending money like water" consists of for others, lol!

 

[Calliope]

It sure sounds like there were a whole lot of things going on in that house. From money, to the kids, suprise pregnancy, discipline and yet I still get the feeling that Terri felt ignored. Maybe I've got it all wrong. But there's a lot of writing on those walls - if only they could talk.

That surprised ME to read that.

 

[gardeness]

That's not what the article said.

No, not at all.

Coming from a teacher's perspective, I would have appreciated a parent like Terri asking about her son's behavior every day. IMO, there must have been a discipline problem. The only way to change that behavior is constant monitoring and consequences--and consequences do not equal abuse.

 

[Calliope]

Weird how Desiree described Kaine's style as strict and structured, implying that Terri's wasn't (when they were interviewed by the Oregonian and talking about Kaine and Terri's son). And Terri's son calls him strict, too. But this article makes sound as if Terri is the one being overly-strict. I'd be interested in knowing if her requesting info from the teacher every day is true, and if it was because of what Kaine had said about working with Kyron to get him to mind in school.

Unfortunately, it seems as if this article created more questions than answers. For me, anyway.

 

[gardeness]

How does this help find Kyron?

Kyron is missing and the best that MSM can do is post a timeline of Terri's history... Who cares what she did in 1992 or 3 whenever it was, who cares if she opened a business with her first husband and it failed and she sued, who cares that she got her 2nd husband to adopt her son... HOW DOES THIS HELP FIND KYRON?
Why can't this news station write an article like this about Kyron, talk to friends and family of Kyron tell about who he is, what he does, how funny he is their memories of him.... Make Kyron human, not just a name and stop making Terri a celebrity, I swear I thought I was reading about a celebrity in one of those celebrity magazines.. UGGGGGGGGGGG

Great post--thank you. I agree!

 

[human]

Tell me...if you are the sole breadwinner and you have a budget you need to conform to and your spouse is spending willy-nilly...wouldn't that bother you?

I don't really think Kaine meant "my money" like it's all mine, all mine and Terri can't touch it...I think he was pointing out she was being careless in her spending and it was having an effect on the family budget.

ITA. It sounds like she had access to as much money as she wanted. And she spent it without consulting with him.

That's what you do in a marriage-consult about money. I work and my hubby works. He works out of town so I sign his name on his paychecks and deposit them in our account. He says that he doesn't think that he could sign his paycheck because they wouldn't accept his signature.

I spend what I want and he spends what he wants. But that's for daily things. Anything that is a purchase that is more money like even a hundred dollar item we discuss.

I feel that's what you do in a marriage so that everyone's needs are met without making your family go bankrupt. It's prudent.

It sounds like Terri has gone through a lot of money in her life and doesn't mind getting it from others.

I bet her former in-laws are upset that they paid for her very expensive education and then she stuck her ex with a hefty child support payment. That is just plain nasty. I would be enraged and feel totally used because MY child is being cheated (their son Richard)

Ugly ugly ugly

 

[STEADFAST]

No, not at all.

Coming from a teacher's perspective, I would have appreciated a parent like Terri asking about her son's behavior every day. IMO, there must have been a discipline problem. The only way to change that behavior is constant monitoring and consequences--and consequences do not equal abuse.

Not abuse, but grounding a child whenever they're inattentive in class is a bit much, IMO. However, nothing at all in the article made her sound like a bad mother to any of the children, quite the opposite.
I don't think her relationship with the children is the key to figuring out why she did something with Kyron (IMO). But I do think issues between her and Kaine might explain it. Their marriage came across as ugh to me.

 

[sorrell skye]

I didn't see anything in this article that would lead me to jump off the fence one way or the other, in terms of TH's alleged involvement in Kyron's disappearance.

Lots of info on family history, definitely some weird behavior on TH's part with the bookshelves of the roommate, but nothing that would necessarily lead me to conclude that TH is a kidnapper or murderer of children. Bad roommate? Maybe. Kidnapper or murderer? IDK.

MOO

 

[Calliope]

No, not at all.

Coming from a teacher's perspective, I would have appreciated a parent like Terri asking about her son's behavior every day. IMO, there must have been a discipline problem. The only way to change that behavior is constant monitoring and consequences--and consequences do not equal abuse.

True.

When my oldest was having issues with slacking off in school (and I found out she wasn't doing homework and neglecting to tell me she HAD homework), I bought her a notebook and every day in every class she had to write "I've completed all of my class work and home work" and have the teacher initial it before she left class. Then I checked it when she got home. If it wasn't signed, I didn't care if she forgot to have it signed or left the notebook at school or truly didn't do the work --- the punishment was the same.


It worked like a charm.

 

[maconrich]

Terri was the first to recognize that Kyron needed glasses, James said, and taught him sign language by the time he was 6 months so she could communicate with him.

"She was pretty proud of that," Ron Tarver said.

I wonder if they kept up with the sign language..

 

[debirlfan]

Oh, I forgot to mention the part where she wanted a report every day of what "color" Kyron earned in class and then wanted him disciplined at home if he didn't get the best "color."

I take some of that with a grain of salt, because it comes from Kaine - but her wanting a daily report from the teacher makes me wonder - according to that email she sent, there was a possibility of Kyron having some sort of seizures - could TH have been asking for the daily update because she was suspicious that there was a medical problem?

 

[Calliope]

Not abuse, but grounding a child whenever they're inattentive in class is a bit much, IMO. However, nothing at all in the article made her sound like a bad mother to any of the children, quite the opposite.
I don't think her relationship with the children is the key to figuring out why she did something with Kyron (IMO). But I do think issues between her and Kaine might explain it. Their marriage came across as ugh to me.

Totally. I think early impressions have fallen away completely by now.

 

[wondering1]

Excuse me ??????


:furious:

what? really? You find it surprising that the person who busts their butt at a job daily should question and have an issue with the way their sah spouse is spending money like water w/o consulting with them????

I have always been the primary breadwinner in my family and if my hard earned income was being p*ssed away without my knowledge or approval you're damn straight I'd have a problem with that.

 

[txsvicki]

Wow, what an interesting informative article. There's so much more insight into Terri and more actual dates to go by. She worked much more than we realized over the years and was a take charge type of person. She was very beautiful in her pics and looked lovely in the wedding gown. It's obvious that Kaine was a typical man and very insensitive about her complaints about weight. He got tired of hearing it, hah. No wonder she got upset, IMO. According to the article both Terri and Kaine were strict. It's hard to think of little Kyron being sent to his room all evening with no TV unless he got a "good" every single day at school. Yet, Kaine simply says that Kyron was being "actively worked with" about school issues. I agree with Terri that the teacher probably should have sent a daily behavior record home with the kids. My kids' elementary school always has, but I think it can lead to abuse. I've seen a little boy come out crying and sobbing because he got an "okay" instead of a good. Coincidentally, this little boy's Dad also expects perfection but also got a DWI last year himself just like Terri did at one time. If I punished my grandson every time he didn't get a "good" he'd never be out of his room. Terri was too strict and should have only disciplined for Kyron being sent home or getting a call from the school over behavior. Kaine should have stepped in on that issue if he didn't agree and he also needed to learn symptoms of drug abuse. Also, it sort of makes me nauseated thinking of people so strict and expecting kids to be perfect yet they went around comitting adultery and one got a dwi. That's not a "good".

 

[Donjeta]

No, not at all.

Coming from a teacher's perspective, I would have appreciated a parent like Terri asking about her son's behavior every day. IMO, there must have been a discipline problem. The only way to change that behavior is constant monitoring and consequences--and consequences do not equal abuse.

I love that attitude. I got told off by one of my children's teachers because I wanted daily updates just for a couple of weeks or so when there was a behavioral problem, she said she has so many other children in her class that it was asking too much to put a daily cross in a column. Guess she'd rather deal with the behavioral problems than try to let the parents help deal with them...

Now he's got a new teacher and they have a daily feedback system like that and it works wonders.

 

[butterfly1978]

I will say this about the article, It shows that Terri is incapable of commitment, to anything, its like she gives a 150 percent for awhile then just throws her hands up and walks away, you can see her lack of commitment in her inability to hold a husband, a business, a job, she gave up on body building and evetually her kids, starting with J, she was frustrated with the baby and now Kyron is gone, if this article did anything at all it was to confirm to me that she is capable of at least getting rid of Kyron, maybe she sold him or adopted him out in an underground network, With her personality I could see her doing that, maybe not physically harming him, but getting rid of him just like she has everything else in her life. Maybe this is why LE and Kaine and Desiree feel he is still alive.