Understanding the Anthony family

[OneLostGrl]

oh which came first the chicken or the egg LOL cindy didnt make casey a liar .. casey just is one . she couldve learned it yes but everyone has a choice on what they do and dont do . there are very abused kids that turn out to be wonderful adults we will never know why casey is the way she is .. we only know her in the now .. as we only know cindy in the now .. we dont know them and we didnt know them hard to analyze people you dont know .. it would be nice to have someone on here that has known them for years .

Sure Casey had a choice and this was that choice however, I do not think it's a coinsidense that both Cindy and Casey are dramatic & erratic liars with controling personalities with the ability to idealize and devalue the same person at the drop of a hat. I also don't think it just so happens that they share the same unhealthy defense mechanisms and emotional dysregulation as one another.

yup, Casey is an adult and made her own choice in doing whatever she has done to Caylee. Casey alone must answer to that, I'm sure Cindy didn't tell her to do this you are right. But it would be a shame if you choose to continue to walk through life with blinders on when it comes to behaviors such as these. If you see someone, a loved one perhaps, acting this way, more than likely something is wrong with the way they are coping in this world and they need help whether that help comes in a pill or through therapy remains unseen but these behaviors should not be ignored!

Good kids can come from bad homes and bad kids can come from good homes. In THIS case it's obvious what we are seeing in Casey is learned behaviors and coping skills.

 

[zadari]

Very well said and I agree. No parent wants to admit that the child they raised has serious issues or could be a murderer. Casey is 22, she is not a child anymore, and it is not fair to blame her parents for this! Whatever she did to Caylee, she made her own choices.
As for how they react or what they've done... I might not agree with it or approve of their actions at all... but this has to be VERY difficult for them.
When I see posters here and other forums say that the A's never loved Caylee, it makes me angry. How can anyone judge what is in another person's heart? To me, it is BECAUSE of their intense love for her that they cannot give up hope, and cannot turn their backs on Casey. After all, she was once their baby, too.
I will say that I believe they know in their minds that Caylee is lost to them, but their hearts are refusing to let go. My husband lost a son several years ago... I watched him beat himself up because he wasn't with him much the last 3 years of his life. He could NOT let go and really grieve for the longest time. It tore me up to watch him go through this. Finally he broke down one night at church and after that he was able to deal with it. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose a child or a grandchild. Instead of beating the Anthonys up, I prefer to pray for them, that one day they will accept it and be able to grieve properly for Caylee.

i think you also said what ive wanted to say ..i agree with you there are times i get so mad at the A's but when i get mad i feel sad for them too .then i try to put myself in thier place and i just cant go there .. id be in a rubber room by now . i could never hold on like they are so far .. but soon i dont think they will be able to anymore .

 

[mitzi]

I would think it would be easier to accept the truth and go on. There must be some reason, whatever it is, that they deny that she's dead. It hurts to see how this is affecting them.

One simple word, gram2...money.

Whether it be donations for the "search for a live Caylee" at the t-shirt stand, or payment for movie, book, and photo deals...it's all about the almighty dollar at this point. How sad is that? :cry:

 

[mitzi]

I think the crooks at the Kid finder network are stringing them along to use them so they get publicity. JMO

Makes alot of sense. Caylee case is a "big draw" for Kid Finders.

 

[zadari]

Sure Casey had a choice and this was that choice. I do not think it's a coinsidense that both Cindy and Casey are dramatic & erratic liars with controling personalities, the ability to idealize and devalue the same person at the drop of a hat. I also don't think it just so happens that they share the same unhealthy defense mechanisms and emotional dysregulation as one another.

yup, Casey is an adult and made her own choice in doing whatever she has done to Caylee. Casey alone must answer to that, I'm sure Cindy didn't tell her to do this you are right. But it would be a shame if you choose to continue to walk through life with blinders on when it comes to behaviors such as these. If you see someone, a loved one perhaps, acting this way, more than likely something is wrong with the way they are coping in this world and they need help whether that help comes in a pill or through therapy remains unseen but these behaviors should not be ignored!

Good kids can come from bad homes and bad kids can come from good homes. In THIS case it's obvious what we are seeing in Casey is learned behaviors and coping skills.

i agree with what your saying respectfully to a point .. i have 1 sibling that is bi polar and schizophrenic and a niece who likes to cut herself and is suicidal ,so i know ALOT about mental issues as well alot of the mental illness stems from my moms side of the family 3 of my grandfathers siblings commited suicide as well .. for all we know cindy HAS tried to get help and get help for casey .. im just saying there is alot that we DO NOT know about this family .. we only know them now because of caylee we are not meeting them seeing them in a normal situation we are seeing them through a tragic one and seeing alot of rumors about them being spread by what they are doing(which imho is foolish and destructive to ME ..) and by people who do and dont know them ...apparently casey has had this behaviour for quite some time cindy may have chosen to ignore it ,but her turning her in for theft and calling the cops on her in the first place makes me think that mabey she did hold casey accountable at least then . why the sudden change i have no theory there except she doesnt want her daughter to die like her grand daughter did . also didnt her evaluation turn out that she is normal ? if it wasnt why was she even let out of jail

 

[OneLostGrl]

i agree with what your saying i have 1 sibling that is bi polar and schizophrenic and a niece who likes to cut herself and is suicidal ,so i know ALOT about mental issues as well alot of the mental illness stems from my moms side of the family 3 of my grandfathers siblings commited suicide as well .. for all we know cindy has tried to get help and get help for casey .. im just saying there is alot that we dont know about this family .. we only know them now because of caylee we are not meeting them seeing them in a normal situation we are seeing them through a tragic one .apparently casey has had this behaviour for quite some time cindy may have chosen to ignore it ,but her turning her in for theft and calling the cops on her in the first place makes me think that mabey she did hold casey accountable at least then . why the sudden change i have no theory there except she doesnt want her daughter to die like her grand daughter did .

Bipolar and Schizophrenia are a far cry from personality disorders and I assure you your niece doesn't "like to" cut herself (as an FYI, many "cutters" have BPD). We know that Cindy did not try to get help for Casey because Cindy herself has told us so. We have heard from others, including Lee how Cindy treated Casey and how Casey stole and lied even before Caylee went missing.

She called the police because she was trying to frighten Casey, when it turned out they actually had something to arrest her for and mommy was no longer in control is when she seems to have changed her mind about Casey. Prior to that she had no problem telling Casey's friends that she is a liar, a thief and a Sociopath.

 

[Pondering Mind]

I learned a long time ago that the "woulda, coulda, shoulda(s)"" can kill you . They really need to seek out help...and not just medication.

You are so right RR0004! And may I add, the "what if's". They do need grief counseling, but something tells me Cindy wouldn't have anything to do with it. C & G may not have been perfect parents, but who is? The blame for Caylee's death lies squarely on the shoulders of Casey IMO.

 

[zadari]

Bipolar and Schizophrenia are a far cry from personality disorders and I assure you your niece doesn't "like to" cut herself (as an FYI, many "cutters" have BPD). We know that Cindy did not try to get help for Casey because Cindy herself has told us so. We have heard from others, including Lee how Cindy treated Casey and how Casey stole and lied even before Caylee went missing.

She called the police because she was trying to frighten Casey, when it turned out they actually had something to arrest her for and mommy was no longer in control is when she seems to have changed her mind about Casey. Prior to that she had no problem telling Casey's friends that she is a liar, a thief and a Sociopath.

ok you win .. im not an expert and im dropping this .. all i was trying to basically say is that we dont know the family im also trying to figure out why they are the way they are .. i know alot with my family history however i dont know the anthonys and i will not analyze them any further and about my niece i worded that the wrong way however I know my niece you do not .and yes she has mental issues as well .. she sees a therapist every week and takes her meds and still cuts herself .

 

[TURBOTHINK]

(bolding is mine)

Or maybe Casey is who she is now (at least in part) because when she was a child CA acted like she does now?

I can go with that theory.

 

[TURBOTHINK]

I see a mother who enabled her daughter in her lies, her promiscuous behaviors, her lack of education, her refusal to work and support her child, even to the point of calling off George when he tried to call the police after KC blatantly stole $4,000 from him. When she stole from Cindy's parents it became more personal that from her stealing from George. She became enraged.

From all released now, Cindy always took KC's side against George. George was an outcast in that family. He was just allowed to stay there for the money he contributed. He is really a very sad example of a man.

I see a family torn apart at their own hands. They had nothing cohesive to begin with except keeping KC out of jail for her lifelong habit of lies and thievery. She was a bad seed, but only because Cindy taught her that dishonesty paid off for her. Her dishonesty was rewarded by Cindy, which made excuses for all of her bad behaviors.

I feel in the end, Cindy will realize she is the one who is responsible for KC getting the death penalty. If Cindy had one time in her life not accepted KC's lies, and then made up lies to cover the lies KC told. She thinks she is covering for KC, but she is actually making people HATE her and KC.

If Cindy had not accepted the kidnapper lie, and made KC tell the truth in the beginning, KC could have plead it down by claiming an accident, but now they are all locked into the LIE and KC will pay the ultimate price. Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be, as I feel child killers should be killed, but I really wonder when it is all over and Cindy looks back, how she will react to knowing she put that needle in her daughter's arm.

 

[OneLostGrl]

ok you win .. im not an expert and im dropping this .. all i was trying to basically say is that we dont know the family im also trying to figure out why they are the way they are .. i know alot with my family history however i dont know the anthonys and i will not analyze them any further and about my niece i worded that the wrong way however I know my niece you do not .and yes she has mental issues as well .. she sees a therapist every week and takes her meds and still cuts herself .

I'm not looking to "win" anything and I am no expert either.. I just think that if you are going to state that Cindy's parenting and way of relating to Casey had no hand in how Casey turned out, someone should point out that that is not the case. I don't know the anthony's either but I do know what BPD looks like.

I wasn't putting your niece down.

 

[Boston]

I don't believe that The Anthony's really believe that Caylee is alive...Infact I believe that both Cindy & George are withholding information that is vital to this case & I also believe that they both knowingly destroyed evidence.

They are protecting Casey & they are protecting themselves

 

[OneLostGrl]

"The Borderline personality disordered family"-

"There is an old saying in psychology that "people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are not born, they are made." What this saying refers to is the fact that child abuse, repeated from one generation to the next, results in BPD. In other words, those who were abused as children are at great risk of developing BPD and are likely to have been abused by parents who were Borderline. ...." the rest is at the following links-


http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=weblog&id=199&wlid=5&cn=2

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=weblog&id=201&wlid=5&cn=2

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=weblog&id=202&wlid=5&cn=2

 

[essies]

I think KC has had problems for a long time-but Cindy felt she could control the situation and keep it in the family, keep it on the down low, so nobody on the outside would know that they weren't the all American family next door. Cindy tolerated her lies and stealing as long as it was in the home-then KC went ouside and started lying and stealing from others (ie. jesse, and the grandparents). Cindy is really getting upset now-the facade she has so carefully created is crumbling. They even created a facade for Caylee's bio dad.
Now, I don't think Cindy ever intended for this to blow up like it did. I think she was just using the police to scare KC. She thought she was gonna scare Caylee's wherabouts out of KC by threatening her with the police. She had no idea that KC couldn't produce Caylee. She probably thought this was just another situation where she had to force KC to get in line with her will.
Surprise Cindy-KC really has lost your grandaughter and now the situation is out of your control. Cindy probably beats herself up everyday for making that 911 call.
I think what's really driving Cindy over the edge is the fact that she has lost more than her grandaughter-she's lost control of EVERYTHING-except George that is.

 

[Thinaire]

I watched Drew Peterson being interviewed by Dr. Phil on tv yesterday. I'm one of the rare people who didn't follow the DP case because I was in the Gulf in the months covering the media frenzy. I only knew that he was a prior cop/det. suspected of making his young wife 'disappear' and that he was quite glib and oddly arrogant for one so persecuted by his own hometown.

By contrast, I have followed the KC A story from "day 1" because the first thing I heard was the 911 call where CA wanted to turn "someone" in for stealing money, her car....oh, and oh yeah....she also had a missing toddler to report once the money issue was resolved. I honestly had my first "WTF?" A-team moment the very first day I heard of this case. Who the he!! reports a missing kid as a side-note, and how could a kid be missing for "31 days" before reporting it???

A reporter who had over 200 hours of interviews with DP stated on Dr. Phil that in his opinion DP loved the limelight. That DP would be willing to be portrayed as a monster so long as he lived in infamy as a monster. I see this in Scott Peterson, that VanDerSloot punk who killed Natalee Holloway, and KC A in this case. They are incapable of empathy and are so self-absorbed that any attention for them is good attention.

Scary is that these "every-day looking" sociopaths live amongst us probably in far greater numbers than we know. Not all of them are put in a situation where they would resort to killing to make their lives more convienient, many are protected by their families who spend their lives covering the tracks of their shame. I think the problem with the Anthony family is the same problem plaguing the VanDerSloot, DP and SP families. They have a sicko in their camps, and the apples really don't fall far from the tree.

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: Excellent

They, the A's IMO are reaping what comes of telling lies. The lies just get bigger and more outlandish...and there will always be some sympathetic ear out there. Thats what they count on.

They have multi levels of involvement..and I sooo agree...that offside mention of, "oh by the way, I have a toddler missing" just floored me. I need LE NOW...but you better back off when I tell you..

Destroying evidence and hindering an investigation is their #1 priority to damage control right now I believe...it has nothing to do with a parents "love."

 

[Thinaire]

How does George live in that house? He has said so many,many different things to LE, to the media, to the public. How does he work with JB after it became public that he told LE that he didn't the guy. I know, I know JB is not his lawyer, but still. Then there's the body in the trunk is not my grandaughter, Caylee's been moved 9 times, you can't believe the real story (or something like that) when it all comes out. Yeah George-you're right, I can't!
This whole family has foot-n-mouth disease. If it weren't so tragic-it would almost look like some dark slap stick comedy. Remember Arsenic and Old Lace?:bang:

OH, Arsenic and Old Lace! :blowkiss: One of my all time favorite movies!

George doesn't live in that house much...he works, he drives, he sells t's...I think he stays out of there as much as possible.

 

[Capri]

OH, Arsenic and Old Lace! :blowkiss: One of my all time favorite movies!

George doesn't live in that house much...he works, he drives, he sells t's...I think he stays out of there as much as possible.

There's a reason GA & CA work opposite shifts.

 

[magic-cat]

I would really like to understand the Anthony family. If I understood them, maybe I wouldn't have these ambivalent feelings.

Why do they think Caylee is alive?They don't.
Why won't Casey tell the truth?Because she chooses not to.
George smelled decomp in the car, why don't they think it was Caylee?They do.
If Casey was a bad daughter, why wouldn't she be a bad mother?She was and is.

If I knew more info, maybe it would change my feelings --- or maybe not. I don't know anymore. Why the secrets?If we knew the answer to that one we could probably solve the case.

Bold mine...

 

[magic-cat]

There's a reason GA & CA work opposite shifts.

Right off hand I would say one reason was so they could one or the other of them be with Caylee round the clock.

 

[Pondering Mind]

I don't believe that The Anthony's really believe that Caylee is alive...Infact I believe that both Cindy & George are withholding information that is vital to this case & I also believe that they both knowingly destroyed evidence.

They are protecting Casey & they are protecting themselves

OMG! Boston, see we do agree on some things! :blowkissrobably alot more than we know, just not that one thing that I shall not mention during this agreeable moment. :blowkiss: