Understanding the Anthony family

[magic-cat]

Sure Casey had a choice and this was that choice however, I do not think it's a coinsidense that both Cindy and Casey are dramatic & erratic liars with controling personalities with the ability to idealize and devalue the same person at the drop of a hat. I also don't think it just so happens that they share the same unhealthy defense mechanisms and emotional dysregulation as one another.

yup, Casey is an adult and made her own choice in doing whatever she has done to Caylee. Casey alone must answer to that, I'm sure Cindy didn't tell her to do this you are right. But it would be a shame if you choose to continue to walk through life with blinders on when it comes to behaviors such as these. If you see someone, a loved one perhaps, acting this way, more than likely something is wrong with the way they are coping in this world and they need help whether that help comes in a pill or through therapy remains unseen but these behaviors should not be ignored!
Good kids can come from bad homes and bad kids can come from good homes. In THIS case it's obvious what we are seeing in Casey is learned behaviors and coping skills.

In all honesty, and I am not being cold or callous or mean-sometimes the best treatment is to start a new life over on your own, choosing who is your family rather than accepting that the dysfunctional and sometimes maniacal one that you were born into is your fate. It is no one's fate to live life with the "crazies" as I like to call them, the family that I left behind for this very reason. Sometimes, it is time to walk away, when it is obvious that no one around in your circle of family thinks like you, listens to any of the very good and sound advice that you offer them, and continue daily to do immoral and inconceivable acts to one another and YOU in the name of love and family. There is a line, and I know it, because I crossed it and I have never gone nor looked back. I look forward. I choose SANITY!

 

[Dutchie Treat]

In all honesty, and I am not being cold or callous or mean-sometimes the best treatment is to start a new life over on your own, choosing who is your family rather than accepting that the dysfunctional and sometimes maniacal one that you were born into is your fate. It is no one's fate to live life with the "crazies" as I like to call them, the family that I left behind for this very reason. Sometimes, it is time to walk away, when it is obvious that no one around in your circle of family thinks like you, listens to any of the very good and sound advice that you offer them, and continue daily to do immoral and inconceivable acts to one another and YOU in the name of love and family. There is a line, and I know it, because I crossed it and I have never gone nor looked back. I look forward. I choose SANITY!

Good for you Magic-cat! I did the same. I chose sanity when I was 17. I eventually immigrated to the Netherlands. Been here 22 years. I still have to recover for weeks after a family visit. (I still have contact albeit minimal). It's amazing to have the ability to actually look at the family from a geographical, emotional and intellectual distance and see them for what they are. I still love them but am happy that I chose this life I lead.

 

[Pink Panther]

The A's myspace response to the memorial:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=122459029&blogID=448055361

 

[maconrich]

Some good and thoughtful responses - and the same with your questions!!

For me - imho I'd have to guess:

Why do they think Caylee is alive?
Because they can't deal emotionally, psychologically and possibly physically with the fact that she's not. chesterp said that if they say it out loud the hope will be gone, and they're not ready to let go of the hope.... I totally agree with that. As long as her remains haven't been found and they don't have to say she's gone, they can hold onto that one silver thread of hope that's allowing them to get up in the morning. That said, I've felt those first few seconds after waking have to be the hardest for them -- when they open their eyes and realize Caylee isn't there and isn't going to be there. It's like they have to face their worst nightmare over and over again with each new day...

Why won't Casey tell the truth?
She told the detectives her mother would never forgive her, and I tend to think that's part of the reason she won't confess (although I'll add her father and everyone else she knows to the mix). And as hard as I find it to even think of, I do believe part of her enjoys or at least is getting satisfaction out of putting her family thru hell. She resented them for trying to control her life, for loving Caylee and for Caylee loving them. Now she's paying them back.

George smelled decomp in the car, why don't they think it was Caylee?
For the reasons mentioned in the first answer as well as his comment to LE that he can't bear to think he created someone who would do something like this. To know that his daughter, who at some point in her life had to have been a sweet and innocent child, is evil and cruel enough to murder her own child -- well that's a lot to take in and something I doubt any parent would be able to fully understand much less accept.

If Casey was a bad daughter, why wouldn't she be a bad mother?
It doesn't sound like she was always a bad daughter - not the best but not the worst -- (although at this point as daughter and as a mother she's the worst of the worst!) It sounds like they didn't fully realize how rotten she was until more recently. I remember the interview where G was saying how she'd changed and was hanging around with new friends; how before she wouldn't drink and was responsible --- the same sort of things her older friends seemed to think, too. Granted no one really knew what KC was doing because she was lying to everyone and they were all believing her!! Plus she gave the illusion of being a very loving and good mother -- again not just something her parents thought - all of her friends did too!!

This gal is just classic. She had everyone around her convinced she was something/someone the real KC could never be. Everyone -- not just her parents, but all of her friends --the new ones *and* the old ones. It's no wonder they were all stunned when the truth started coming out! And as for her parents - they were just finding out about the lies and realizing they didn't even know their daughter -- and at the same time they've been expected to accept that she murdered Caylee, too? They're probably still finding out things that she'd lied to them about...that's just an aweful lot for anyone to deal with all at once



ETA: I just read the blog - TY for posting the link PP!! Hey, at least they didn't diss Tim - that's a plus! And I will admit I was glad to see LP changed it to a prayer vigil instead of a memorial...

 

[lastchance]

The A's myspace response to the memorial:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=122459029&blogID=448055361

Is it just me, or should the Anthony's and their mouthpieces sue whoever taught them to write? In their response they say "to no prevail". I'm pretty sure they meant "to no avail"! I realize this is petty, but if you are going to send out something for public consumption, shouldn't it be proofread by someone who can write a grammatical sentence? They are so pretentious.
Sorry, this really belongs on the rant thread.

 

[rookie]

:clap:

Some good and thoughtful responses - and the same with your questions!!

For me - imho I'd have to guess:

Why do they think Caylee is alive?
Because they can't deal emotionally, psychologically and possibly physically with the fact that she's not. chesterp said that if they say it out loud the hope will be gone, and they're not ready to let go of the hope.... I totally agree with that. As long as her remains haven't been found and they don't have to say she's gone, they can hold onto that one silver thread of hope that's allowing them to get up in the morning. That said, I've felt those first few seconds after waking have to be the hardest for them -- when they open their eyes and realize Caylee isn't there and isn't going to be there. It's like they have to face their worst nightmare over and over again with each new day...

Why won't Casey tell the truth?
She told the detectives her mother would never forgive her, and I tend to think that's part of the reason she won't confess (although I'll add her father and everyone else she knows to the mix). And as hard as I find it to even think of, I do believe part of her enjoys or at least is getting satisfaction out of putting her family thru hell. She resented them for trying to control her life, for loving Caylee and for Caylee loving them. Now she's paying them back.

George smelled decomp in the car, why don't they think it was Caylee?
For the reasons mentioned in the first answer as well as his comment to LE that he can't bear to think he created someone who would do something like this. To know that his daughter, who at some point in her life had to have been a sweet and innocent child, is evil and cruel enough to murder her own child -- well that's a lot to take in and something I doubt any parent would be able to fully understand much less accept.

If Casey was a bad daughter, why wouldn't she be a bad mother?
It doesn't sound like she was always a bad daughter - not the best but not the worst -- (although at this point as daughter and as a mother she's the worst of the worst!) It sounds like they didn't fully realize how rotten she was until more recently. I remember the interview where G was saying how she'd changed and was hanging around with new friends; how before she wouldn't drink and was responsible --- the same sort of things her older friends seemed to think, too. Granted no one really knew what KC was doing because she was lying to everyone and they were all believing her!! Plus she gave the illusion of being a very loving and good mother -- again not just something her parents thought - all of her friends did too!!

This gal is just classic. She had everyone around her convinced she was something/someone the real KC could never be. Everyone -- not just her parents, but all of her friends --the new ones *and* the old ones. It's no wonder they were all stunned when the truth started coming out! And as for her parents - they were just finding out about the lies and realizing they didn't even know their daughter -- and at the same time they've been expected to accept that she murdered Caylee, too? They're probably still finding out things that she'd lied to them about...that's just an aweful lot for anyone to deal with all at once

Very good. I think this is probably the closest to the real truth than anything else.

 

[doogiesgirl]

She called the police because she was trying to frighten Casey, when it turned out they actually had something to arrest her for and mommy was no longer in control is when she seems to have changed her mind about Casey. Prior to that she had no problem telling Casey's friends that she is a liar, a thief and a Sociopath.

This sounds so dead on to me. And explains the 180 CA did after the 911 call.

I feel in the end, Cindy will realize she is the one responsible for KC getting the death penalty...................but I really wonder when it is all over and Cindy looks back, how she will react to knowing she put that needle in her daughter's arm.

I think that is what we would expect a reasonable person to think and feel but IMO CA is the teacher of some of KC's behaviors, one of them being "never take responsibility for anything that has gone wrong". I don't think CA will ever consider that she herself has any guilt to own up to. CA thinks CA is always right.

 

[grammieto5]

I do not think the A's believe she is alive. I think if they say it out loud the hope will be gone. They are not ready to let go of the hope....

If they believe her to not be alive, what is it they are hoping for? I mean I sometimes wonder if maybe she is still alive, especially after the search turned up nothing. I don't live in Florida, is it true that there are many places where there are aligators, places that the public can just get to. My husband said from the very begining of this whole mess Casey "fed Caylee to the gators" Is it possible to so something like that so easily.

 

[RevCrim]

To understand this family, I feel one would have to know them from childhood and up.

It is alleged that GA threw his Dad threw a plate glass window in Ohio at his Dad's car dealership. GA has also displayed anger on videos.

It is alleged that CA had her hands around KC's throat during a fight on 6/15. CA has displayed eccessive anger over and over again on videos.

LA displayed anger and rage while destroying another's personal property on video.

KC has allegedly killed her own child. KC displayed her anger at her own mother on the jail phone.

So why does this anger flare up so quickly. CA seems to turn hers on and off in a second.
Poor little Kaylee caught up in all of this rage. H-h-m-m!

A child is lost and they still haven't learned it doesn't get them anywhere. Shame!

These are my opinions alone and I own them.

 

[Gram2]

If they believe her to not be alive, what is it they are hoping for? I mean I sometimes wonder if maybe she is still alive, especially after the search turned up nothing. I don't live in Florida, is it true that there are many places where there are aligators, places that the public can just get to. My husband said from the very begining of this whole mess Casey "fed Caylee to the gators" Is it possible to so something like that so easily.

Yes, there are alligators. Yes, it would be that easy to feed someone to the gators. I lived in South Florida for 30 years, alligators are common.

 

[Gram2]

To understand this family, I feel one would have to know them from childhood and up.

It is alleged that GA threw his Dad threw a plate glass window in Ohio at his Dad's car dealership. GA has also displayed anger on videos.

It is alleged that CA had her hands around KC's throat during a fight on 6/15. CA has displayed eccessive anger over and over again on videos.

LA displayed anger and rage while destroying another's personal property on video.

KC has allegedly killed her own child. KC displayed her anger at her own mother on the jail phone.

So why does this anger flare up so quickly. CA seems to turn hers on and off in a second.
Poor little Kaylee caught up in all of this rage. H-h-m-m!

A child is lost and they still haven't learned it doesn't get them anywhere. Shame!

These are my opinions alone and I own them.

Under the circumstances, I can see why Cindy or George would flare up quickly. Their emotions must be in a turmoil.

 

[Brini]

I don't think they believe Caylee is alive. I think they know KC killed her, and are protecting KC and the family name-- such as it is.

I think they are concerned about losing BOTH Caylee and KC. However, they are not considering that KC could do that, again, to another of her children.

They lie because they have Axis II disorders, IMHO. KC has the worst of it, of course.

I think CA is a bad mother. But, there is evidence pointing to genetics re: sociopathy. And, many children of mothers with personality disorders grow up whole and functional. So, it's not ALL bad upbringing.

 

[RevCrim]

Thanks for the reply!

I probably didn't express myself well. Take away anything in relation to little Kayee.
Of course anyone who has lost a loved one, especially such a sweet liitle child, would be on an emotional rollercoaster. I just feel this family has had anger and rage problems long before this entire situation.
These are my opinions alone and I own them.

 

[MySonsMom]

Bipolar and Schizophrenia are a far cry from personality disorders and I assure you your niece doesn't "like to" cut herself (as an FYI, many "cutters" have BPD). We know that Cindy did not try to get help for Casey because Cindy herself has told us so. We have heard from others, including Lee how Cindy treated Casey and how Casey stole and lied even before Caylee went missing.

She called the police because she was trying to frighten Casey, when it turned out they actually had something to arrest her for and mommy was no longer in control is when she seems to have changed her mind about Casey. Prior to that she had no problem telling Casey's friends that she is a liar, a thief and a Sociopath.

Bold by me. ITA! I have always thought this. I believe CA was USING 911/LE to threaten and manipulate KC to get what she wanted. Once she got it, she expected them to just go away (most likely a pattern as there doesn't seem to be many people around them). I don't believe she thought ahead of time of the consequences of her actons (another pattern of behavior I believe). JMHO First time poster. Luv the site - Luv the posts/posters.

 

[Charge Them All]

just because someones child turns out to be a killer doesnt mean they are bad parents .. imho that is just an excuse to excuse someones behaviour and that is why more kids think they can get away with the crap they do .. no disrespect intended but the blaming of the parents on a 22 year old just doesnt sit well with me .casey was probably born with issues and hid them ..alot of psychotic people can hide stuff for many many years till they finally explode ..just because cindy acts like she does now doesnt mean she acted that way when casey was a child .. cindy didnt have a dead grandbaby that her child killed at that time

The Anthony's enabled and allowed Casey to become the person she is today. She did not just wake one day, 5 months ago and turn in to a heartless monster. I will be the first one to say that NOT all bad kids are the products of bad parenting, but in this case I think she was. Her own mother called her a sociopath very early on, so I am sure she was fully aware of Casey's "problems". No disrespect taken

 

[tiredofthis]

Right off hand I would say one reason was so they could one or the other of them be with Caylee round the clock.

That's what I was thinking. I know when our kids were little, my husband and I worked different shifts to save on childcare. However, KC was supposedly taking Caylee to a nanny, which we know was a lie.

 

[Elley Mae]

I don't really want to understand the A's, I have seen far worse as far as family's go. And the fact is we have not heard from the neighbors as to what they might say. It does go to show that you never know what goes on behind closed doors. In all of the pics we have seen they would appear to be a model family. 40 years ago as a child, friends would be out after dark in the neighborhood in the summer and we all knew who the yellers and screamers were. (no air conditioning). We knew which kids had a tough life at home. Now it is hard to know until something happens and then everyone is shocked. I just know that you really don't know until you know.

 

[Pattymarie]

I think it is amazing that LE has been able to get decomposition evidence despite the fact that the car was cleaned. The A's state that there is not enough evidence to prove that Caylee was dead in the trunk... they themselves got rid of the evidence, even after they all smelled the car. Like its LE's fault there isn't more evidence.

I believe the only person to get KC to tell the truth is her mother....if and when her mother finally faces the facts.

 

[zoey]

Bold by me. ITA! I have always thought this. I believe CA was USING 911/LE to threaten and manipulate KC to get what she wanted. Once she got it, she expected them to just go away (most likely a pattern as there doesn't seem to be many people around them). I don't believe she thought ahead of time of the consequences of her actons (another pattern of behavior I believe). JMHO First time poster. Luv the site - Luv the posts/posters.

neither did..also think this was the reason for the smugness of KC being booked---and her first phone call of being in jail on a "whim"---I don't think she realized that in reality land they take missing kids seriously--especially when smelling cars and 31 days...jmo

 

[OneLostGrl]

To understand this family, I feel one would have to know them from childhood and up.

It is alleged that GA threw his Dad threw a plate glass window in Ohio at his Dad's car dealership. GA has also displayed anger on videos.

It is alleged that CA had her hands around KC's throat during a fight on 6/15. CA has displayed eccessive anger over and over again on videos.

LA displayed anger and rage while destroying another's personal property on video.

KC has allegedly killed her own child. KC displayed her anger at her own mother on the jail phone.

So why does this anger flare up so quickly. CA seems to turn hers on and off in a second.
Poor little Kaylee caught up in all of this rage. H-h-m-m!

A child is lost and they still haven't learned it doesn't get them anywhere. Shame!

These are my opinions alone and I own them.

I disagree that in oder to understand the A's one would have to have known them from childhood on up. Anyone (well, I guess I can't say anyone but MOST people) that grew up in a Borderline personality disordered home would have no problem understanding these people and their reactions.

I am not the only person here who grew up in this kind of home and I am also not the only one who has pointed out their BPD "ism's" here on the Caylee forums.