VA - Scott Fricker, 48, & Buckley Kuhn-Fricker, 43, slain, Reston, 22 Dec 2017 *daughter’s bf charged*

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Inthedetails said:
I agree. There are some things that are just unacceptable. I might give some leeway to my daughter's boyfriend I didn't like (with the hope that my daughter would eventually also find him objectionable on her own)...but Nazi leanings would enter the no-tolerance zone. Action was required, imo.
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What action would you take? Forcing the girl to break up with him didn't work; obviously, the girl did not break things off with him.

I don't see any easy answers. Telling a teen that her boyfriend is off limits doesn't work. The "hours a day" on the phone could be cut off. Change her to a different school maybe, but with social media that probably wouldn't make a difference.

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Wyle_E_Coyote said:
What action would you take? Forcing the girl to break up with him didn't work; obviously, the girl did not break things off with him.

I don't see any easy answers. Telling a teen that her boyfriend is off limits doesn't work. The "hours a day" on the phone could be cut off. Change her to a different school maybe, but with social media that probably wouldn't make a difference.

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I think the only approach that would work is cultivating an extra close and understanding relationship with their daughter and counteracting his indoctrination over time, not in one intervention. Let her explain her new views, if she would admit them. Let him explain his views. Keep calm and keep lines of communication open...easier said than done! The Mom was asking about WWII videos they could show their daughter, so she realized that was needed. At what point she realized that, I’m not sure. I totally understand her sense of panic, but extreme action is just going to make a teen dig in their heels. I’m sure they had no idea that he would be so dangerous though. What a tragedy. :(
 
foleybrau said:
I think the reference is to the Islamic world's viewpoint on Jews and their reaction to the US decision to relocate Embassy.

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Yes, however, it is not relevant to this particular discussion, and there is fierce opposition to that embassy decision that is not limited to Islam and that opposition is very valid and is not exclusively related to anti-Semitism. Ahem. (Not directed at you foley, just a clarification)
 
Wyle_E_Coyote said:
What action would you take? Forcing the girl to break up with him didn't work; obviously, the girl did not break things off with him.

I don't see any easy answers. Telling a teen that her boyfriend is off limits doesn't work. The "hours a day" on the phone could be cut off. Change her to a different school maybe, but with social media that probably wouldn't make a difference.

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I have no idea (thankfully), though I don't think the mom was wrong in her actions.

I would assume that the boyfriend in question would not come into my home and kill me.

jmo
 
If that boy killed her parents, who is to say he would not eventually kill her?
 
MaryG12 said:
If that boy killed her parents, who is to say he would not eventually kill her?
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Some of us wondered if that was his intent (revenge toward the parents) and her parents actually saved her life. Why bring a gun?
 
vmmking said:
She seems to have been an exceptional person who was full of kindness and actively lived a compassionate life.

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She certainly was surrounded by people who were strong proponents of social causes.

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Wyle_E_Coyote said:
She certainly was surrounded by people who were strong proponents of social causes.

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From the Washington Post article:

"She started Buckley's, her elder-care company, in 2005 and wrote a book about the topic. Friends said she could have charged more for her services, but genuinely wanted to help the elderly."

https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...102894-e761-11e7-833f-155031558ff4_story.html

This is one of the things that I think speaks to her living a life of compassion. It seems she didn't just have a career, but a passion for helping people.

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I wonder... if he dies, will they release his name?

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vmmking said:
That's why I'd like to know more, and especially about the gun used. So far, no updates that I have found today.

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If he got the gun from his house, his parents should be prosecuted as well.
 
animlzrule said:
If he got the gun from his house, his parents should be prosecuted as well.
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Being careful of what I say, but so far I haven't seen anything that would indicate that his family held extreme views.

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Wyle_E_Coyote said:
Being careful of what I say, but so far I haven't seen anything that would indicate that his family held extreme views.

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Having a gun in a home with a minor should be enough to get you prosecuted if that gun is used by said minor to inflict injury on themselves or others. If one is willing to have a gun in the home and cannot 100% guarantee that no one other than the registered owner will ever have access to that gun, then the registered owner needs to face equivalent consequences as does the offender.
 
animlzrule said:
Having a gun in a home with a minor should be enough to get you prosecuted if that gun is used by said minor to inflict injury on themselves or others. If one is willing to have a gun in the home and cannot 100% guarantee that no one other than the registered owner will ever have access to that gun, then the registered owner needs to face equivalent consequences as does the offender.
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It's a bit premature to blame the parents. We don't know where he got the gun, and I believe his parents are considered victims per TOS.

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/loca...0acf0774e64_story.html?utm_term=.51d85fc8b726

Potter said residents decided to send an emissary to the family’s home to discuss the swastika a couple days after it was discovered. Potter said the teen’s parents admitted he had mowed the symbol into the grass. She said they were aware of his behavioral issues and were getting him treatment.

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Wyle_E_Coyote said:
It's a bit premature to blame the parents. We don't know where he got the gun, and I believe his parents are considered victims per TOS.

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They are, but she's just saying that IF he got the gun from the home, they are culpable.

I sort of began this conversation by saying I'd like to know more about his home life, parents, and where he got the gun. These are just questions, not blame.

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vmmking said:
They are, but she's just saying that IF he got the gun from the home, they are culpable.

I sort of began this conversation by saying I'd like to know more about his home life, parents, and where he got the gun. These are just questions, not blame.

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Understood. As I posted above, I haven't been able to find any links to extreme views with regard to the parents. The boy's views are pretty easy to find.

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Wyle_E_Coyote said:
Understood. As I posted above, I haven't been able to find any links to extreme views with regard to the parents. The boy's views are pretty easy to find.

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Yes, now that the article that was posted in the last hour is up. But this morning there were no updates to be found. Thanks for the WaPo link.

I wonder why, if they were already aware when the neighbors approached him that he had mowed a swastika symbol into the community lawn, they had not made him set that right by going back to mow it down.

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