CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - # 7

[Cazzie]

bbm its true, Cazzie, many adults act very childish when they sense that something is going to be "taken away" from them. for example, i was raised by my mom and step dad. when i was 30 i was finally able to locate my bio father. wasn't looking for a dad, i had a dad, but i wanted an answer as to how a seemingly upstanding family man can have a child he knows about and never ever want to see that child. before he could answer me he ask for a dna test. i was 30 and not asking for anything from him except an answer. after the dna came back 99.99999999999999999999999999999% positive that he was my father, he turned his back and never spoke to me again. the reason? i have a half sister who had a very violent and angry reaction to the fact that she had a sister. the reaction was not directed at the parents who lied and kept the secret all these years, but at me who only wanted an answer. that was many years ago and instead of fueling the fire and causing problems in their family (my family?) i gave up. i guess i had all the answers i needed anyway. after that experience i am never surprised at grown people behaving like children. Bob's daughters were so worried that they were going to lose something. they had no regard for their fathers happiness. if they loved him, they would have been thrilled that he have a loving companion in his golden years. instead, it seems, somebody thought poor Bob had lived long enough. i guess they thought he had enough happiness. it makes me sick to think about.

Thank you so much for your personal story! I'm sorry that your father turned his back; that must have hurt tremendously.

Maybe you read between my lines, as my father died when I was young and my mother remarried a family friend that I couldn't stand. It took many years for me to come to terms with it. Not saying that I was an angel child or teenager (LOL), but I never tried to cause him any harm!

Why couldn't Bob's kids have just turned their backs? At the very least, they've thought they were entitled to everything of their mother's and father's and done everything to ensure that they got it, even though Bob remarried a long lost love. Don't Bob and Fontelle have rights to whatever of Bob's assets he wanted to keep and leave for Fontelle? Rhetorically, yes!

It makes me sick, too. Perhaps Lady Justice will tip the scales in Bob's and Fontelle's favor soon.

 

[suzyq211]

Setting aside the issue of inheritance and control of their father's assets and the apparent irony of that post, I can understand someone grieving the loss of their mother, compounded by resenting their father's new/old love. But letting it filter out into words and actions (and horrible actions) is something more that a child or teenager would do, not a grown-a$$ woman. Children and teenagers haven't matured. I guess many adults have not, either.

BBM
Cazzie, that fact SOOOO disturbed me. Its one thing to hold resentment against a parent within oneself...it's ENTIRELY another to post it all over the internet!

 

[SuziQ]

For as much as the daughters put their mother on a pedistal, they weren't around much during her last months. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that they were as badly behaved with their mother as they were with their father. JMO.

 

[Montjoy]

I'd encourage anyone reading here to take a glance at the legal document linked below --

Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - #5

While it is a pdf document and lengthy, it's also rich and dense.

There is a point in it where (mods please edit me if this one word is too much) Bob's relationship with his daughters was characterized as one of 'torment'. (Torment of which, as you can read, Bob was not the source.)

I also seem to remember that it is documented somewhere that Bob begged his daughters away from him for some period of time, and even gave money to encourage them? I think we have a media source?)

 

[Cazzie]

maybe he was independent, believe, but i have a feeling he was less independent and more fed up. what is so sad to me is the disappointment that Bob must have felt in his girls. to raise a family and love them, provide for them, give give give to them and have them behave so ugly must have hurt him terribly. as for the frozen dinners, that is just mean. Bob probably wasn't a cook after having been married for 57 years so i do not understand why they would rather make fun of him than to arrange a way for him to get good meals every day.

Heck, I eat store-bought frozen meals sometimes. When I have time, I cook large portions and make my own home-cooked frozen meals. When times are tough, it's generic frozen meals, soup, beans&rice, sandwiches, etc. How can anyone put someone down for their food choices, especially if they're 80, gave you life and raised you? <shakes my head> I didn't know about this until now.

A dad and grandfather of 80, living alone, widowed...shoulda had SOMEONE in the crew making sure he was eating right and taking vitamins/medications, getting to doctor visits, whatever. And getting out to do fun things.

 

[nanny2five]

I am so sorry for your experience Nanny. ((hugs))

thank you, believe, and ((hugs)) right back at you i was so lucky to have a wonderful dad from age 6 months until he passed in 1999. it's why Bob's story touches me so. i am always amazed at people who act so badly for all the world to see. it seems like Bob's family would have seen their internet and public behavior through the worlds eyes and stopped acting that way even if its the way they felt. but as we have seen time and again, money talks loudly and can drown out thoughts of common sense, natural affection and even the pretense of appropriate behavior.
something i have been thinking about. i think i read early on that Bob found out that Fontelle had written to him all those years ago and that the letters were sent back or never given to him? do you think its possible that the daughters felt like Fontelle bringing the truth of what happened back then somehow cast a dark shadow on their mother and maybe they resented her for that as well as everything else?

 

[nanny2five]

Heck, I eat store-bought frozen meals sometimes. When I have time, I cook large portions and make my own home-cooked frozen meals. When times are tough, it's generic frozen meals, soup, beans&rice, sandwiches, etc. How can anyone put someone down for their food choices, especially if they're 80, gave you life and raised you? <shakes my head> I didn't know about this until now.

A dad and grandfather of 80, living alone, widowed...shoulda had SOMEONE in the crew making sure he was eating right and taking vitamins/medications, getting to doctor visits, whatever. And getting out to do fun things.

bbm: i wonder if they ever invited him on their fishing trips or yard sales? it would have been so easy for them to make him a plate when they fixed dinner and just take to him. my kids do it for me all the time and i am not even old.

 

[cloudajo]

Daughters RB and PB, Currently Co-Conservators of Bob’s/Father’s Estate
August 2009 – ~2 weeks after Bob went missing

Snips of posts since removed from another forum

• He had been very bizarre and secretive since our Mother passed away last year, but we were all so happy to finally see Dad acting excited about life again. This has all been difficult to fathom.
• It seems the media is trying to draw him out by using the angle of Sympathy for Fontelle and also reminding him of his God, HIS money. Whatever it takes! But he DOES have a family which he brushed aside after Mom's passing in March 2008.
• Don't think he would abandon his home in the long run. (ie: Home=$$$=God to him).
• Why wouldn't he take his friggen dirty $$$ with him, then we wouldn't think we were expected to properly manage things in his absence.
• He pushed his family away and became even more secretive. We now know more about what his single-minded secret was that IMHO he was so ashamed of as to push family away. Definately NOT the same person we remember going to church when we were little, only to end up selling out to the devil IMHO.
• F was the only person who seemed to be able to pull him out of that cycle and back to beginning to act like a decent being human again.
• It was NOT in character for him to be charitable with $$$$, unless there was some profit in it for him.
• The cleaning lady has been questioned and BIL has been questioned, as have all family members except myself. My turn is Tuesday -- saved the best for last! HA!
• Since none of his daughters live close by and his more secretive nature, his daily routines and schedules were not known.
• He does NOT have long-distance and was too cheap to pay for it.
• The [____] did give him the cell phone, but he did NOT know how to answer it - chuckle.
• While D may have hidden money, he had OCD about his $$$. It was his God.
• Social Services finally conducted their second investigation on the day F arrived, two days after D's disappearance. The media was all over the place that day and the investigator asked what was going on. It was then she found out that their investigation might have been "a day late and a dollar short".
• No matter what or why, we want our Dad to come home and face up to what this is all about.
• But we still want him to come back home for a chance to possibly redeem himself.

 

[Opie]

That last post by Cloudajo is painful to read. I can't imagine posting such terrible things for all the world to read even if I did feel like that. Where is the sense of decency/restraint/manners?

 

[nanny2five]

cloudajo, i couldn't even bring myself to quote those awful things. it made me cry. i cannot imagine the pain if my girls said those things about me. but then, i guess THEY know he is never going to read them. poor Fontelle!

 

[Cazzie]

Daughters RB and PB, Currently Co-Conservators of Bob’s/Father’s Estate
August 2009 – ~2 weeks after Bob went missing

Snips of posts since removed from another forum

• He had been very bizarre and secretive since our Mother passed away last year, but we were all so happy to finally see Dad acting excited about life again. This has all been difficult to fathom.
• It seems the media is trying to draw him out by using the angle of Sympathy for Fontelle and also reminding him of his God, HIS money. Whatever it takes! But he DOES have a family which he brushed aside after Mom's passing in March 2008.
• Don't think he would abandon his home in the long run. (ie: Home=$$$=God to him).
• Why wouldn't he take his friggen dirty $$$ with him, then we wouldn't think we were expected to properly manage things in his absence.
• He pushed his family away and became even more secretive. We now know more about what his single-minded secret was that IMHO he was so ashamed of as to push family away. Definately NOT the same person we remember going to church when we were little, only to end up selling out to the devil IMHO.
• F was the only person who seemed to be able to pull him out of that cycle and back to beginning to act like a decent being human again.
• It was NOT in character for him to be charitable with $$$$, unless there was some profit in it for him.
• The cleaning lady has been questioned and BIL has been questioned, as have all family members except myself. My turn is Tuesday -- saved the best for last! HA!
• Since none of his daughters live close by and his more secretive nature, his daily routines and schedules were not known.
• He does NOT have long-distance and was too cheap to pay for it.
• The [____] did give him the cell phone, but he did NOT know how to answer it - chuckle.
• While D may have hidden money, he had OCD about his $$$. It was his God.
• Social Services finally conducted their second investigation on the day F arrived, two days after D's disappearance. The media was all over the place that day and the investigator asked what was going on. It was then she found out that their investigation might have been "a day late and a dollar short".
• No matter what or why, we want our Dad to come home and face up to what this is all about.
• But we still want him to come back home for a chance to possibly redeem himself.

]That "dirty money" and I presume all of Bob's "dirty assets and belongings"...they were so dirty that his children wanted/took them and pursued legal avenues to make sure they got all of the dirty stuff.

JMHO.

As soon as Bob "disappeared", all the $$$ and stuff wasn't "dirty", it was all "bloody".

JMHO, MOOOOOOOOO!

 

[cloudajo]

cloudajo, i couldn't even bring myself to quote those awful things. it made me cry. i cannot imagine the pain if my girls said those things about me. but then, i guess THEY know he is never going to read them. poor Fontelle!

Yes, it's disgusting, and not even the half of it.

 

[Angelo]

Reading information from the police report, news articles and from forums the daughters have posted on, the time of Mr. Harrod's disappearance ranges from 10am all the way to 2:30pm. When was the last time JeM saw Mr. Harrod alive? This should be a very easy question to answer.

I agree with SuzyQ that the timeline has been changed to match up with the housekeeper and store receipts.

The daughters have posted that even they don't know what the home repairs were and the exact time Mr. Harrod was last seen. Unbelievable!

 

[Angelo]

I'd encourage anyone reading here to take a glance at the legal document linked below --

Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community - View Single Post - CA CA - Bob Harrod, 81, Orange County, 27 July 2009 - #5

While it is a pdf document and lengthy, it's also rich and dense.

There is a point in it where (mods please edit me if this one word is too much) Bob's relationship with his daughters was characterized as one of 'torment'. (Torment of which, as you can read, Bob was not the source.)

I also seem to remember that it is documented somewhere that Bob begged his daughters away from him for some period of time, and even gave money to encourage them? I think we have a media source?)

BBM~~~~

Yes there was an estrangement between Mr. Harrod and his daughters. It happened in the months after Georgia Harrod's death. The daughters have posted about it and make it seem as if it was Mr. Harrod who was being unreasonable. Sad that Mr. Harrod had to ask his own daughters to leave him alone.

(RB)But he DOES have a family which he brushed aside after Mom's passing in March 2008.

(JM)Our father pushed us away around Christmas, he wanted time "to get in touch" with his feelings.

(RB)He pushed his family away and became even more secretive. We now know more about what his single-minded secret was that IMHO he was so ashamed of as to push family away.

 

[Angelo]

For as much as the daughters put their mother on a pedistal, they weren't around much during her last months. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that they were as badly behaved with their mother as they were with their father. JMO.

I'm glad you brought this up. I don't believe the daughters were around much when Georgia Harrod was declining and needed much medical care.

Of all the disturbing things the daughters have posted about their father on public forums, their posts which insinuate Mr. Harrod treated their mother poorly when she was ill and withheld quality medical care are the most vile to me.

We know from daughter JuM's postings on ROTW BEFORE her mother passed that her father was very attentive to their mother and would not leave Georgia's side during her illness. Mr. Harrod's former neighbor says the same thing.

How dare those daughters say otherwise on public internet forums. All done, IMO, to sully Mr. Harrod's reputation so that the public will not care that he is missing. They know he will never be back to refute their postings.

 

[believe09]

Why wouldn't he take his friggen dirty $$$ with him, then we wouldn't think we were expected to properly manage things in his absence.

I suppose "properly manage" is open to interpretation given the trial set for October.

The above set of posts culled by cloud is ludicrous in the context of the memoribilia list presented by those children. You know, the one that left virtually no trace of Bob inside of his own house, with the exception of the items they deemed unworthy, or the one's Fontelle's attorney dug in to keep in tact.

And they know it.

There is nothing that can be said, implied, shouted from the roof tops which explains the moving target of a timeline, the shredding of their father on the www, and the rapid acquisition of the assets their father took a life time to build.

Let's get down to brass tacks-how much is left?

 

[ohiogirl]

They were all with him on the night before he went missing, right? Who can verify that he actually was at the house when the SIL came to do something? Has anyone actually confirmed that Bob was there on Monday? Maybe he came to make sure there was nothing that they overlooked the night before? This could be the reason there are discrepancies in the timeline of the day he went missing. Could be he was never there that day.
Just my musings.

 

[believe09]

They were all with him on the night before he went missing, right? Who can verify that he actually was at the house when the SIL came to do something? Has anyone actually confirmed that Bob was there on Monday? Maybe he came to make sure there was nothing that they overlooked the night before? This could be the reason there are discrepancies in the timeline of the day he went missing. Could be he was never there that day.
Just my musings.

They were with him the day before he went missing. SIL is the only one who claims he saw and interacted with a live Bob until he left to go to HD. The housecleaner never saw Bob at all, just SIL.

 

[believe09]

Now one of the children, IIRC, claims she made a phone call and spoke with her father, but her timeline has moved around as well, so I put that up to confusion on the day....or perhaps something more sinister, who knows.
ETA: (her explanation of the content of the phone conversation was bizarre which is why I personally set it aside in terms of validity. JMO)

I am sure LE has phone records for incoming/outgoing and likely for any cell phones associated with any of them...

 

[Angelo]

Now one of the children, IIRC, claims she made a phone call and spoke with her father, but her timeline has moved around as well, so I put that up to confusion on the day....or perhaps something more sinister, who knows.
ETA: (her explanation of the content of the phone conversation was bizarre which is why I personally set it aside in terms of validity. JMO)

I am sure LE has phone records for incoming/outgoing and likely for any cell phones associated with any of them...

Sounds more like she is giving her BIL (JeM) an alibi.


(Daughter P)"I called my dad that morning by telephone, he had obviously been getting quite a few phone calls that morning. Then I realized that my BIL was there and I DID hear him say he was going to the "hardware store". My dad responded to him in a favorable way. I told my dad that I would let him go and talk to him later. That was the last time that I spoke to him. Times vary as I could not tell you the exact time that I called Dad, I gave an approximate of sometime between 11 and 12 and found later it was probably after 11:30 a.m."