I really hope this is okay!
First, Websleuths is an amazingly well run board. The mods do a great job, they keep the peace without coming off like a bunch of mind-numbed automatons. Let me just say kudos to that! It would be really hard for me to do with the number of posts you guys have to read.
Secondly, I think people have a weird idea about other poster's feelings. I am one of those people that likes to equate things to film:
Anyone seen Donnie Darko? There's a "Self Help" guru in the film who likes to say that all emotions come from either a place of fear, or a place of love. One or the other, no exceptions. Well if you've seen the film, you're likely to have come to the conclusion that most people have, that human emotions are far too complicated to be boiled down to one emotion or another. Most people who feel strongly about something have many emotions about that subject, and sometimes, no I would say that most of the time, those emotions can be conflicting.
When reading a post, I think it's helpful to realize that no one is posting completely from a compassionate viewpoint, or a completely hateful one. Your emotions are not that simple... don't sell yourself short! If you were posting from a completely compassionate viewpoint, would you not also have compassion for the emotions that your fellow users are posting from? If you were posting from a completely hateful point of view, don't you think that that would spill over when you disagree with others to them personally?
I have seen very few posts that do the latter two. It's as though, in the course of being compassionate, people forget that the people they're addressing deserve that compassion as well, because they are often hurting, their heart is really kind of on their sleeve. And as for the hateful posts, I rarely see people jumping in to say "You suck for your point of view!", and the ones that I have seen are gone rather quickly.
The people that are begging for compassion are right. It would be nice if every post could be filled with compassion for all involved. But the reality is, not even their posts are all about compassion. The human psyche doesn't boil down to one emotion or the other. Hateful posts? Those that want to challenge people for even having a difference of opinion are quickly deleted, and those that are just 'bashing' a player seem few and far between, rather people are feeling a negative feeling and tend to commiserate about it. The problem comes when you stop saying 'why' and start slapping a label on whatever you're trying to express.
Lastly, I'd have to say that almost all of the posters on Websleuths are compassionate people (I'm only saying 'almost' because unlike the mods, I cannot possibly read every post here!). Their compassion just focuses differently. Unless someone's managed to get through to join the board and they're a troll, and I don't think they last long. Everyone here cares, it's what they want to focus on that seems to be the bone of contention. How about just valuing your fellow sleuthers for being compassionate, no matter where that compassion goes? And how about stopping the hateful labeling (and I'm not counting psychiatric diagnoses or possible ones!) and saying what's bothering you and why? I -love- all of the opinions here. It's such a broad spectrum of the population, and it's eye opening to see how much we all really -agree-! Take some comfort in the things we agree on! The things we don't agree on are just fodder for perusal of our personal belief systems. And challenging those is never a bad idea. They either become stronger or they change to better benefit you.
:blowkiss: I love it here! I'm so grateful that I found all of you!
