CO - Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #39

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catswhiskers said:
I do think MR has dug himself a hole for whatever reason. Yes he could be guilty, but his actions and demeanor could also stem from him being just plain difficult, or by all accounts not an especially easy guy to like. While I haven't interpreted what he has said in interviews etc as necessarily incriminating, I don't think he is a particularly eloquent or confident public speaker either. I can grant him a bit of leeway for nerves or anxiety, and I don't believe he is anywhere near the smooth talker who can explain his way out of anything that some choose to make him out to be.

Back to his ever deepening hole - I do feel he made some unwise choices from the day of Dylan's disappearance. Maybe this was due to nerves, guilt, selfishness, pig headedness or even bad advice from others - but I do think that for about two and a half months he has been stuck in that hole and can't claw himself out even if he wants to. A few vocal locals (yay a rhyme! - first grade teacher can you tell?) posting elsewhere would have us believe he would get a very hostile reception anywhere in his village. I'd think that sort of reaction or attention would be unwelcome anywhere near the searchers, or at any past or future event held in Dylan's name. I'm not defending MR's tender feelings here, but I really don't think the organisers of those events would truthfully want their hard work overshadowed by hostilities directed at MR, should he suddenly turn up. I'm pretty sure the dog handlers would be far from impressed with that sort of interference as well.

MR has repeatedly said he understands why he is being investigated, and that he wants this so that LE can then focus on Dylan - but those words are always twisted by others to mean that somehow he is enjoying all the attention. Him staying out of the limelight to avoid attention is then called out as him being callous and uncaring. He can't win - and I know some people are sick of hearing that (I think I have the same reaction to red flags, phone pings, and "on his watch") but he really can't win at this point, no matter what he does or doesn't do.

Could he be guilty? Yes, of course. Am I convinced or ready to call for his arrest? Not even close with what information we have been given.
Click to expand...

Well, I'm going to try this one more time. I do agree with everything you've said. But in saying that, I have a couple of things to add.

I don't care how many excuses, reasons or explanations are given for MR and his lousy behavior. The man has obvious problems. He is not only his own worst enemy, he is my worst nightmare. That is my opinion.
It is also my opinion that the man needed to step up to the plate from day one and he did not. If he couldn't do it, he needed to find someone to do it for him. I've haven't seen very many missing child cases that started out like this one did that haven't gone straight downhill.
It would and should be expected that when your child goes missing you do several things in rapid succession:

Appeal to the public for help to find your child. MR did not.
Thank the public for the help they provide when it is provided. MR did not.
Participate in activities designed to raise awareness and funding to bring your child home. MR did not.
Don't conduct interviews that take the focus off your child and place the focus on your relationship with your ex-wife. MR couldn't do this. Not even once.
Do not send text msgs to your children or call your children names that may publicly expose you for being everything you are attempting to pretend not to be.
Do not point the finger of blame toward your ex wife, the custodial parent who lived 400 miles away and had an alibi.
Do not attempt to manipulate your estranged family members into feeling sorry for you. They don't.
Do not play the victim. You aren't. Your child is the victim. So is his mother, his brothers and his extended family.
Do not accuse your ex wife's best friend of abducting your child.
Thank people. (bears repeating)
Be humble and grateful for any support.
Put on your big boy panties and deal with the fact that YOU are the last person to see your son alive. Own responsibility for that fact.
I have more, but I'm done for now....
 
It sure looks cold for those poor dogs. I sure hope Dylan is not found in any frozen waters. IMO.
 
Seajay said:
It sure looks cold for those poor dogs. I sure hope Dylan is not found in any frozen waters. IMO.
Click to expand...

I can't decide who I feel more sorry for when I see those pictures, the dogs who don't have waterproof boots and can't add more clothes or the people who realize that what they're doing is work and not supposed to be fun. (not to mention being born without a nice, warm fur coat.) Either way, both are appreciated. MOO
 
NC Analyzer said:
Sorry, I missed this earlier.

The reason MR is likely ignoring text messages, (if he is) is because that isn't what he wants. He wanted to see her. To sit down with her. To be a family. Together. And I do believe that even if or when she MAY have agreed to do so, she would have wanted MH to be with her. And I don't think that's what MR had in mind. Thus, the stand-off.
I also see that this probably isn't "new" behavior. There may have been other things he's tried through the years. We don't know.
Seeing Dylan once or twice in 6 months wouldn't have anything to do with MR wanting to see Elaine. I sincerely doubt she was even involved in the exchange, or if she was, it was probably a 10 minute thing...and MH would have been present.
Resentment grows through the years with a narcissistic personality. It doesn't dissipate.
Click to expand...

And that right there is the motive for him to go on Dr. Phil.

ETA: I've been catching up backwards. Just saw your earlier post about why MR did Dr. Phil. We are in agreement! Time to catch up on everything before posting more.....
 
NC Analyzer said:
snipped

It would and should be expected that when your child goes missing you do several things in rapid succession:

Appeal to the public for help to find your child. MR did not. He did on the MB video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGEwCBPy90w

Thank the public for the help they provide when it is provided. MR did not. He did in the above video and at the vigil

Participate in activities designed to raise awareness and funding to bring your child home. MR did not. Mark wasn't invited and I'm sure you know why

Don't conduct interviews that take the focus off your child and place the focus on your relationship with your ex-wife. MR couldn't do this. Not even once.
He did, more than once. He said over and over and over again .... focus on DR here is one: http://kdvr.com/2012/11/27/missing-teens-father-discusses-exhaustive-search/

Do not send text msgs to your children or call your children names that may publicly expose you for being everything you are attempting to pretend not to be. Say what? Where is this coming from

Do not point the finger of blame toward your ex wife, the custodial parent who lived 400 miles away and had an alibi. ER has an alibi? HAS she been cleared? Say what?

Do not attempt to manipulate your estranged family members into feeling sorry for you. They don't. Alrighty... didn't know he was doing that.

Do not play the victim. You aren't. Your child is the victim. So is his mother, his brothers and his extended family. So is the DAD ... much to the dismay.

Do not accuse your ex wife's best friend of abducting your child.
Thank people. (bears repeating) Say what? When did this happen? He did thank people ... see vigil footage. HERE: http://www.durangoherald.com/articl...6/0/rss/150-people-turn-out-for-Redwine-vigil

Be humble and grateful for any support. See above

Put on your big boy panties and deal with the fact that YOU are the last person to see your son alive. Own responsibility for that fact.
I have more, but I'm done for now....
Click to expand...

My response in bold <modsnip>.
 
NC Analyzer said:
Sorry, I missed this earlier.

The reason MR is likely ignoring text messages, (if he is) is because that isn't what he wants. He wanted to see her. To sit down with her. To be a family. Together. And I do believe that even if or when she MAY have agreed to do so, she would have wanted MH to be with her. And I don't think that's what MR had in mind. Thus, the stand-off.
I also see that this probably isn't "new" behavior. There may have been other things he's tried through the years. We don't know.
Seeing Dylan once or twice in 6 months wouldn't have anything to do with MR wanting to see Elaine. I sincerely doubt she was even involved in the exchange, or if she was, it was probably a 10 minute thing...and MH would have been present.
Resentment grows through the years with a narcissistic personality. It doesn't dissipate.
Click to expand...

But yet ER spoke FOR her husband here: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1212/03/ng.01.html

GRACE: OK, so that`s normal. What about the cell phone and the backpack and other belongings?

REDWINE: It was my understanding from his dad that everything Dylan had was in his backpack including his cell phone, his iPod, his iPod charger, his cell phone charger, all of his clothes. So we had to actually make a trip to get some of Dylan`s clothes from where we live in Colorado Springs because it was my understanding there were no clothes at his dad`s house.

:waitasec:

Night all. Out of town. Big day tomorrow for me. Sleep well all.
 
I called my ex and asked him to tape and watch the shows, that I would like his opinion. :) He actually respects DP I think, bc as I mentioned before, he quoted him one time during one of our arguments, ("Well, Dr. Phil says....") :)

When I told him it looked like it was going to be really intense, he said, "Yeah, Dr. Phil doesn't fool around...He says it like it is." :)

As far as getting hyped, guilty as charged. I want answers, like we all do. It's not about the drama. It's about someone taking a strong interrogative stance on behalf of all the questions we've been asking for months.

May this publicity lead to Dylan's whereabouts.
 
redwine-search-map.jpg


Here's a latest map / image; sorry if it has already been posted.
 
scorekeeper said:
Even if through further investigation/tips, it is found that Mark had nothing to do with Dylan's disappearance, the damage this man has done to his children and ex-wives and other family members is displorable and totally uncalled for.

But it seems, Mark is just being Mark....this behavior didn't develop since Thanksgiving 2012.
Click to expand...


Respectfully, and not directed at you, I respect your opinions. But what damages has he done to them? Being a lousy father and lousier husband? WE don't know what he did to deserve all this hate. And it really concerns me, hating someone that much is unhealthy. We're supposed to love and honor our parents, not hate and disrespect them. It would be the death of me if one of my boys told me they hated me, much less in front of millions of people.

I used to think I hated a few people. I was obsessed for a long time because I had been wronged. Then I decided to just let it go. It wasn't easy, but gradually with help, I did. I've been a much happier and healthier person since then.

Hate eats at your soul and your mind, and it makes you a bitter person. Life is short and we are all going to face our Maker someday, some of us sooner than we plan, so when that time comes, I don't want to have to face Him with hate in my heart.

End of sermon. Sorry if I offend anyone, but it's just my beliefs and I am entitled to them.
 
catswhiskers said:
I do think MR has dug himself a hole for whatever reason. Yes he could be guilty, but his actions and demeanor could also stem from him being just plain difficult, or by all accounts not an especially easy guy to like. While I haven't interpreted what he has said in interviews etc as necessarily incriminating, I don't think he is a particularly eloquent or confident public speaker either. I can grant him a bit of leeway for nerves or anxiety, and I don't believe he is anywhere near the smooth talker who can explain his way out of anything that some choose to make him out to be.

Back to his ever deepening hole - I do feel he made some unwise choices from the day of Dylan's disappearance. Maybe this was due to nerves, guilt, selfishness, pig headedness or even bad advice from others - but I do think that for about two and a half months he has been stuck in that hole and can't claw himself out even if he wants to. A few vocal locals (yay a rhyme! - first grade teacher can you tell?) posting elsewhere would have us believe he would get a very hostile reception anywhere in his village. I'd think that sort of reaction or attention would be unwelcome anywhere near the searchers, or at any past or future event held in Dylan's name. I'm not defending MR's tender feelings here, but I really don't think the organisers of those events would truthfully want their hard work overshadowed by hostilities directed at MR, should he suddenly turn up. I'm pretty sure the dog handlers would be far from impressed with that sort of interference as well.

MR has repeatedly said he understands why he is being investigated, and that he wants this so that LE can then focus on Dylan - but those words are always twisted by others to mean that somehow he is enjoying all the attention. Him staying out of the limelight to avoid attention is then called out as him being callous and uncaring. He can't win - and I know some people are sick of hearing that (I think I have the same reaction to red flags, phone pings, and "on his watch") but he really can't win at this point, no matter what he does or doesn't do.

Could he be guilty? Yes, of course. Am I convinced or ready to call for his arrest? Not even close with what information we have been given.
Click to expand...

I agree with you 100%. He has not handled any of this very well, but you make some good points as to why he hasn't joined in the searches or attended the events. Specifically if he had gone on this latest search and with MH there, that might have been a bit uncomfortable and caused some conflict, and neither the dogs nor the handlers needed that, under those conditions. My heart goes out to those dogs and the handlers, it must be grueling to poke around in all that snow and ice.

LE does not usually advise parents to search especially when so much time has passed that it's obvious they're searching for remains. Too many things can go wrong. It is just not a good idea.

He won't be able to do or say anything from now on to make it right. Even if they arrested the person who is responsible and tried and convicted them, Mark will always have that black cloud over his head, no matter what. If for nothing else, because he left Dylan there and didn't make him go along that morning.
 
TxLady2 said:
Respectfully, and not directed at you, I respect your opinions. But what damages has he done to them? Being a lousy father and lousier husband? WE don't know what he did to deserve all this hate. And it really concerns me, hating someone that much is unhealthy. We're supposed to love and honor our parents, not hate and disrespect them. It would be the death of me if one of my boys told me they hated me, much less in front of millions of people.

I used to think I hated a few people. I was obsessed for a long time because I had been wronged. Then I decided to just let it go. It wasn't easy, but gradually with help, I did. I've been a much happier and healthier person since then.

Hate eats at your soul and your mind, and it makes you a bitter person. Life is short and we are all going to face our Maker someday, some of us sooner than we plan, so when that time comes, I don't want to have to face Him with hate in my heart.

End of sermon. Sorry if I offend anyone, but it's just my beliefs and I am entitled to them.
Click to expand...

I think it is great that you were able to recognize your hate and let it go, but I think other people also deserve the right to work all that out in their own time. Just like you had time to feel angry before you let it go, other people have the right to also go through that process and decide for themselves when they need to let it go. I disagree that all anger is unhealthy. Anger is a very motivating force, and even a survival skill for many. There is a difference, imo, between having a chip on your shoulder for no real reason, and working through a childhood where you were not treated well. One thing is crystal clear, and that is Corey has a lot of love for and from his mom. I think that will be the thing that will get him through all of this. moo
 
Poof !

So night sleuthers. I have to say I'm a little apprehensive.
Oh I wonder what time the thread opens...hopefully early,
so we can get good seats !
 
Confusion said:
I can't decide who I feel more sorry for when I see those pictures, the dogs who don't have waterproof boots and can't add more clothes or the people who realize that what they're doing is work and not supposed to be fun. (not to mention being born without a nice, warm fur coat.) Either way, both are appreciated. MOO
Click to expand...

I dunno. my dog will run into and lie down in water no matter how cold it is. shepherd/husky mix. crazy snow dogs. does the same thing in snow.
I wonder if the dogs hit on the res and that's why they're in water in so many pix?
 
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