Possible Sexual Relationship Between DeDe and Terri?

[LaLaw2000]

I think it's a strong possibility DD is gay and fell for TH. TH used these feelings for whatever reason, just like she supposedly used her sexuality to try and get a landscaper to kill Kaine, or used it to get his friend to help track Kaine and baby K down after the RO was in place.

It's a pattern with TH, and sorry some people still think this sort of behavior is irrelevant to this case.
I think it matters.........big time.

FWIW, evelyn24, this is what I think as well. It is a pattern with TH.

 

[just]

Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm saying that a person's sexual orientation and/or what they do behind closed doors with another consenting adult has no bearing on Kyron's disappearance. And yet it is being talked about as if it does matter and as if it's some kind of important piece to the puzzle.

As I plainly said earlier in this thread, I see no relation to DDS's and TH's sexual orientation (as if any of us are going to know this, for a fact) and Kyron's disappearance. Further, speculating about someone's sexuality doesn't help solve this case, IMHO.

It does seem on first glance odd, but remember Susan Smith drowned those beautiful boys on the hopes of hooking up with her affair guy. If indeed DDS and TH had something going on, like I said above it would explain why DDS would cover for her. Crimes of passion are just that...crimes of passion. Whether they are gay, straight, bi - who cares - but if they were involved as a couple it raises the stakes in MHO.

 

[Littleone48]

respectfully bbm, Exactly what I am saying. The title of this thread is not to explore a relationship between Terri & Dede, but "The possible SEXUAL relationship" between them. Sorry, but I just don't think we need a thread for "just that". How about a thread title that says "Relationship of Terri & Dede". The possibility of their relationship being sexual will no doubt come up from someone, though it opens the conversation to other reasons they are friends too.

I personally don't like discussing DS at all at this point, or any of the other women who bought TH cell phones, she's not a suspect, it may just be that she's nothing more than a very good friend who trusts her friend so much and believes that her good friend is being witch-hunted.

JMHO

BBM I have no idea how we can jump from them being good friends to lovers. I have to even question the "good" friend aspect. Kaine stated that he didn't know Dede well but that she had helped plan a 40th birthday party for Terri. Dede's Ex BF states that he had never met Kaine or Terri. Dede's Ex BF said that she was a very caring person and thoughtful. I have not heard any accounts that these 2 woman were close recently (ie working out, visiting etc).

I wonder if Dede just read about Terri in the newspaper and offered her assistance. Dede has no ties and probably it was easy for her to go and stay with Terri after Terri's parents left. I really don't think these 2 had an ongoing relationship daily after they stopped working out together.

If someone has a link to support that they were hanging out with each other before this happened I would like to see it because I haven't read that.

I think what has gotten Dede in trouble is that she stayed with Terri, purchased a "bat" phone and probably gave her advice that those who feel she is guilty didn't like. All IMO

 

[Tricia]

I don't think anyone is getting wigged out. At least it doesn't bother me if people think that TH & DS's sexual preferences have something, anything, to do with this case, then have at it. What I don't understand is WHAT ON EARTH could what they do or don't do together sexually have to do with this case? Like JBean said above, overpowering love doesn't have to be sexual, so why even bring it up? Who cares what their sexuality is? That's what I don't get.

And I also don't get why in this forum you can talk about someone's sexuality such as DS's, but you cannot talk about KH's. For all we know, DS has NOTHING to do with this case other than buying her friend a cell phone. I don't know, I just don't get the relevance. JMHO

The reason is because I make the rules. I apologize as I am not trying to be flippant or sharp at all. Just want to state the fact.

We are trying to figure out why DeeDee would help her friend like this. One can speculate they are closer than friends. End of story.

There is no reason on this earth why KH's sexuality needs to be discussed. It has NOTHING to do with anything. Whereas, I as the owner of Websleuths, looked at the questions being asked and decided it was a valid speculation about Teri and DeeDee. And that is all it is, speculation.

I am going to respectfully ask that we all drop the subject as to why this is allowed and other things are not. Having been in this business for a long time I base my decisions on several variables. I have explained this decision on a couple of different posts. There is nothing else I can add.

Thank you.

 

[Billylee]

Sorry, Tricia, I wasn't trying to be a smart butt.

If this thread is about why DS helped TH, then my theory is "She is her friend. She thinks she's innocent and being witch-hunted."

Now if this thread is about why she is her friend, IDK. Why she thinks she's innocent, IDK that either.

But my speculation about why she helped her is the same reason the other women helped her, they are her friends and they obviously believe(d) in her innocence.

 

[cindysue]

Even in the thread title the first word is POSSIBLE so I don't know why people are getting upset when others are wondering about the possibility of their relationship being more involved than just good buddies. It's just simple speculation.

 

[akashana]

I am unclear as to why this would be considered a relationship that is sexual in nature.
I am married. I have a best friend beside my dh. My best friend is female.
I know she would do anything for me and I for her.

But sex is not part of our loyalty or our deep affection for one another.

Where does sexual orientation enter into this and what am I missing?

I, too have a life-long best friend that I would do nearly anything for. I would, however, draw the line at helping her with anything to do with the disappearance of a child. I can't think of a soul alive or dead that I would do that for, but obviously there are those who are complicit in their lovers' crimes, and even more who assist in the cover-up after the fact. I have no idea if this scenario came into play, or whether TH or DDS are guilty of anything at all. But they went to some lengths to communicate secretly (bat phones), so that leads me to believe there is more than meets the eye to this friendship. Could they be just really good friends and DeDe simply wanted to help out her buddy whom she believes to be innocently targeted? Of course so. But the fact remains we just don't know, and there could definitely be more than friendship between the two. IMHO as always.

 

[akashana]

Fellow posters, I would just like to say that I am fully aware that a close friendship needs no sexual component, and that I have absolutely no problem with gay or bisexual people. I have dozens of gay friends, I have dated a bisexual man, I used to tend bar at a gay club. I honestly didn't think this thread would have upset so many of you. I think this might actually be the only thread I ever started that didn't get merged with another. I just think that this is one possibility of many that we can discuss.

 

[SleuthyGal]

Well I guess the answer to your question, as posed in the title of this thread, is:

Maybe / Maybe not.

I'm pretty sure no one knows the answer to this question other than the two people named in the thread title.

 

[Aedrys]

I'm going to share part of my life here to illustrate what I think of Dede and TH's relationship. I really think that they have a deep friendship, so deep it may seem like it could be sexual, and for all we know is.

I had two friends, well, I knew two people that I thought were my friends. I've had trouble making friends my whole life, and all I ever wanted to was have that one best friend that everyone else seemed to have but me. I did have some friends over time, but not that soulmate best friend that some people seemed to have. When I was getting my Master's degree, I met a girl that said everything I wanted to hear. At the time, I was still naive and a lot more gullible than I am now. I really thought she was my best friend, and I enjoyed being so close to her, like I was in some sort of secret circle that other people weren't allowed to be in, at least that's what she let me think. I watched how she treated other people, and we even shared laughter at the things she would do. Sometimes she'd ask me to lie about something or not say anything about something. It was like we had secrets from other people, or I'd help her get what she wanted from other people, all the while thinking how great this was, and how fun some of the risks were. But I didn't care as long as I thought she was my best friend, that friend I had always been looking for. When I think about it, I don't know how far I would have gone for her because I was so thankful and happy that I had finally found that best friend I had always been looking for that I can tell you I would have done anything to make sure she was still my best friend. I even charged up a credit card to help what I thought was "us" start a business on Ebay selling clothes and suits. I trusted her with paying monthly rent that I gave her for our apartment. I took care of a dog that she brought into our house but didn't take care of herself. I did so many things for her because I was convinced of what a great best friend she was.

It was all a lie, though. She lied about a lot things, only had the dog to make me think she liked dogs as much as I did, had no real respect for me, had lied about me to other people, and not only didn't pay me back for helping her start a business, but I found out she scamming the landlord on the rent. She would pretend to mail it from her work and then act like it got lost in the mail when she was really spending the money on herself. She also broke my car window, stole my purse, tried to cash a check using my license, and worst of all, called the police over to lecture me after I tripped during an argument and almost fell into her. She twisted it into assault and I was lucky she didn't charge me and that I didn't get jail time. I felt like the world's biggest idiot. I didn't realize that I should have paid attention to how she treated other people because why wouldn't she treat me any better? I had totally been scammed, had to pay back rent and had to help my parents help me with my credit card, and felt totally used and discarded. It was one of the worst times in my life after she left and after what she did to me.

She did call me once after that, complaining that someone had broken into her new place, a place she really couldn't afford to live in anyway, and I stupidly offered to let her store some stuff with me, but she said no and hung up the phone. I honestly think that she was seeing if there was anything else she could get out of me, and realized that there wasn't and just moved on, thank GOD.

There was another best friend at a later time that, well let's say it was the only experiment in my life, and she turned out to be a liar and user as well, only was much more obvious about it. I was so scared about being thrown out in the street in a city where I knew nobody that I was constantly trying to make up with her. Thankfully, I met my husband and moved in with him, and haven't look back since. I almost agreed to cosign on a car loan with her, but thank GOD I said no. She was terrible with money and I would have been the one responsible for it at some point.

The whole point here is, I was so desperate for a best friend that I did stupid things and believed everything these people were telling me. There's no telling how far I would have gone for the first one, and that scares me. But it tells me that sometimes people's lives can be missing one thing so much that they are willing to do anything to keep what they think they can't live without.

I think Dede is someone that doesn't make a whole lot of friends, especially close ones. Then she meets cool TH, a much more sexually aggressive and all around fun, risky person than Dede ever could be. She gets close to her, gets into TH's inner circle, and is willing to do what it takes to keep TH her friend. And TH is just a user, not close to anyone, willing to rope in the most gullible person and use them to her advantage until there's nothing left to gain from them. I think she might have even used sex here to get Dede to do what she wants. I wouldn't be surprised of that at all. I fear that she will turn on Dede and might even try to blame this whole thing on her just because that's what Dede is there for, to be her gofer and patsy. But Dede is so blinded by friendship, and maybe even love, that she's not seeing the real TH but the TH she wants to see, and thinks TH wouldn't ever throw her under the bus to get out of trouble. Who knows what these two have done and NOT been caught for until now.

I think that's why Dede keeps sending these reassuring messages, almost like see, I'm not talking, I'm not throwing you under the bus, I'm being your best friend still. Maybe she thinks TH won't do the same to her. But I don't think TH is as good of a best friend as Dede is, and I think she is totally using Dede to her advantage, and that probably will, at some point, include throwing Dede under the bus for this crime IF they are guilty of it. I doubt they are going stay friends after this, at least Dede might, but I figure TH will move on and find someone else to use and discard.

So I do believe it's a very close friendship, I think Dede thinks she's found her best friend or even soulmate here, and TH is definitely not on the same page. There's been no reassuring messages from her, no signal or anything except that she's not talking to suggest that Dede is safe. I won't be surprised to see her offer Dede up on a silver platter should she be arrested. I just hope Dede is prepared to do the right thing instead of going down for what she thinks is her best friend or soulmate.

And I agree that some deep friendships do not have a sexual component, but it's so deep it mirrors a romantic relationship. I don't think that's the case here. I think Dede THINKS it's a deep friendship while TH is just exploiting it, even sexually, to get what she wants. When you've found someone, whether lover or friend, that you can't live without, you find you're willing to do all sorts of things to keep them, even bad things. Luckily, I escaped from two false friendships without jailtime or doing something I would deeply regret later. I guess we'll wait and see how deep their friendship really is should they ever be arrested. As it stands now, it does seem that there's more than just a friendship there to Dede, at the very least a deep, almost romantic one that Dede seems to willing to keep no matter what while TH is willing to just keep using Dede until she can discard her and move on.

Sorry this was so long, and all is MOO.

 

[txsvicki]

I think it's possible that the two could have been bisexual lovers, for the simple reason that it seems they were closer than anyone knew and must not have wanted anyone to know. They had to of been in close contact and we just haven't been told. There had to be a reason not to be seen together or let the men know of their friendship. If DeDe helped plan an important party (40th birthday), then they knew each other more than just visiting every 6 months. No one would move in with someone with only a very casual every 6 month friendship. I'm not buying that. Someone mentioned that most women in the weight training circuit are bisexual, and I have no idea if that is true or not. If true, then it could definitely be. Regardless, there's reason for LE to think something is up with the missing times for both women that day. I hope they are lovers, in love, and that there was a long term plan to take the kids and run away and raise them. That would mean that Kyron is alive and maybe another devoted person out there somewhere has him right now.

 

[Aedrys]

I also wonder about something else. I wonder if TH in particular wanted to keep this relationship quiet. I know there is a lot more acceptance of homosexuality today, but I think that if the school got wind of a possible homosexual relationship between Terri and Dede, that might affect her chances of getting a teaching job even more. You still see in the news people getting fired from teaching jobs when it comes out that they are gay. I wonder if TH didn't want to be pegged with this label, especially if it was going to make it even harder for her to get a teaching job. Maybe Kyron saw them together, and she was afraid he would tell someone at school more than him saying anything to his dad. It seems like she values her reputation over her marriage, and I'm not sure she wanted the reputation of being homosexual, especially when she uses sex with so many men to get her way. It might cut off her money supply if it gets around that she's gay and no man wants to have anything to do with her anymore. I can see as a serious risk to her social and romantic life, something I think she would kill for to keep secret.

 

[Susan10]

I still can't get over DeDe using a fire extinguisher to protect her and TH - oh the symbolism and innuendos that I can't scrub from my over-active imagination.

Whoa, I missed this one? What happened?

 

[scandi]

This all makes perfect sense to me...and to take it a step further, maybe the purpose of the sexting was to throw everyone off that might have suspected her to have an affair with Dede......to show that she only has interest in men.

I so agree Angeleleven, I have thought the same thing. Portland has a very free and accepted attitude to the gay lifestyle, probably only second to that of San Francisco IMO. They own some of the best restaurants in town, are established in the media with their speaking voice from the Oregonian, run the city thru the mayor's office and are welcomed and pronounced in the entertainment industry in Portland with the ballet theater and also their most famous stake to claim, Pink Martini {who are IMO an astounding talent}, now gone international and on tour in Eastern Europe as we speak.

She need not have worried ever about her inclination except she was in a heterosexual commitment, that is if what I think is truly is the case. It might have been 'the nub' that told the story about her. If she wasn't true to herself and texted to create a further alibi of sorts, shame on her {unless she is bi}. I could say let her rot in you know where for not being truthful when it comes to her life and that of an innocent little boy and for thinking of her own benefit above the life of anyone else, to serve herself. I have read too much.

 

[SurfieTX]

Whoa, I missed this one? What happened?

It's in the interview People did with DeDe. DeDe said they were receiving death threats, and went on to say she slept downstairs near the door with the fire extinguisher while Terri slept upstairs.

 

[sleuthy sleutherson]

I'm going to share part of my life here to illustrate what I think of Dede and TH's relationship. I really think that they have a deep friendship, so deep it may seem like it could be sexual, and for all we know is.

I had two friends, well, I knew two people that I thought were my friends. I've had trouble making friends my whole life, and all I ever wanted to was have that one best friend that everyone else seemed to have but me. I did have some friends over time, but not that soulmate best friend that some people seemed to have. When I was getting my Master's degree, I met a girl that said everything I wanted to hear. At the time, I was still naive and a lot more gullible than I am now. I really thought she was my best friend, and I enjoyed being so close to her, like I was in some sort of secret circle that other people weren't allowed to be in, at least that's what she let me think. I watched how she treated other people, and we even shared laughter at the things she would do. Sometimes she'd ask me to lie about something or not say anything about something. It was like we had secrets from other people, or I'd help her get what she wanted from other people, all the while thinking how great this was, and how fun some of the risks were. But I didn't care as long as I thought she was my best friend, that friend I had always been looking for. When I think about it, I don't know how far I would have gone for her because I was so thankful and happy that I had finally found that best friend I had always been looking for that I can tell you I would have done anything to make sure she was still my best friend. I even charged up a credit card to help what I thought was "us" start a business on Ebay selling clothes and suits. I trusted her with paying monthly rent that I gave her for our apartment. I took care of a dog that she brought into our house but didn't take care of herself. I did so many things for her because I was convinced of what a great best friend she was.

It was all a lie, though. She lied about a lot things, only had the dog to make me think she liked dogs as much as I did, had no real respect for me, had lied about me to other people, and not only didn't pay me back for helping her start a business, but I found out she scamming the landlord on the rent. She would pretend to mail it from her work and then act like it got lost in the mail when she was really spending the money on herself. She also broke my car window, stole my purse, tried to cash a check using my license, and worst of all, called the police over to lecture me after I tripped during an argument and almost fell into her. She twisted it into assault and I was lucky she didn't charge me and that I didn't get jail time. I felt like the world's biggest idiot. I didn't realize that I should have paid attention to how she treated other people because why wouldn't she treat me any better? I had totally been scammed, had to pay back rent and had to help my parents help me with my credit card, and felt totally used and discarded. It was one of the worst times in my life after she left and after what she did to me.

She did call me once after that, complaining that someone had broken into her new place, a place she really couldn't afford to live in anyway, and I stupidly offered to let her store some stuff with me, but she said no and hung up the phone. I honestly think that she was seeing if there was anything else she could get out of me, and realized that there wasn't and just moved on, thank GOD.

There was another best friend at a later time that, well let's say it was the only experiment in my life, and she turned out to be a liar and user as well, only was much more obvious about it. I was so scared about being thrown out in the street in a city where I knew nobody that I was constantly trying to make up with her. Thankfully, I met my husband and moved in with him, and haven't look back since. I almost agreed to cosign on a car loan with her, but thank GOD I said no. She was terrible with money and I would have been the one responsible for it at some point.

The whole point here is, I was so desperate for a best friend that I did stupid things and believed everything these people were telling me. There's no telling how far I would have gone for the first one, and that scares me. But it tells me that sometimes people's lives can be missing one thing so much that they are willing to do anything to keep what they think they can't live without.

I think Dede is someone that doesn't make a whole lot of friends, especially close ones. Then she meets cool TH, a much more sexually aggressive and all around fun, risky person than Dede ever could be. She gets close to her, gets into TH's inner circle, and is willing to do what it takes to keep TH her friend. And TH is just a user, not close to anyone, willing to rope in the most gullible person and use them to her advantage until there's nothing left to gain from them. I think she might have even used sex here to get Dede to do what she wants. I wouldn't be surprised of that at all. I fear that she will turn on Dede and might even try to blame this whole thing on her just because that's what Dede is there for, to be her gofer and patsy. But Dede is so blinded by friendship, and maybe even love, that she's not seeing the real TH but the TH she wants to see, and thinks TH wouldn't ever throw her under the bus to get out of trouble. Who knows what these two have done and NOT been caught for until now.

I think that's why Dede keeps sending these reassuring messages, almost like see, I'm not talking, I'm not throwing you under the bus, I'm being your best friend still. Maybe she thinks TH won't do the same to her. But I don't think TH is as good of a best friend as Dede is, and I think she is totally using Dede to her advantage, and that probably will, at some point, include throwing Dede under the bus for this crime IF they are guilty of it. I doubt they are going stay friends after this, at least Dede might, but I figure TH will move on and find someone else to use and discard.

So I do believe it's a very close friendship, I think Dede thinks she's found her best friend or even soulmate here, and TH is definitely not on the same page. There's been no reassuring messages from her, no signal or anything except that she's not talking to suggest that Dede is safe. I won't be surprised to see her offer Dede up on a silver platter should she be arrested. I just hope Dede is prepared to do the right thing instead of going down for what she thinks is her best friend or soulmate.

And I agree that some deep friendships do not have a sexual component, but it's so deep it mirrors a romantic relationship. I don't think that's the case here. I think Dede THINKS it's a deep friendship while TH is just exploiting it, even sexually, to get what she wants. When you've found someone, whether lover or friend, that you can't live without, you find you're willing to do all sorts of things to keep them, even bad things. Luckily, I escaped from two false friendships without jailtime or doing something I would deeply regret later. I guess we'll wait and see how deep their friendship really is should they ever be arrested. As it stands now, it does seem that there's more than just a friendship there to Dede, at the very least a deep, almost romantic one that Dede seems to willing to keep no matter what while TH is willing to just keep using Dede until she can discard her and move on.

Sorry this was so long, and all is MOO.

I appreciate your post, it is easy for people to want to believe that TH & DS are just being made targets here because I know most people want to believe in and see the good in people and do not want to accuse someone they don't know of crimes or lies or deceit. Then there are those of us that have had to deal with certain types of people and we see it right away in situations like this.

It doesn't mean that they 100% guilty as we do not have the hard evidence yet, however I feel they are guilty of something. I also can see them as having a sexual relationship even if they are not gay. You don't have to be gay to have a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex, seen it happen many times before. And I have seen, especially with woman that their emotions get very tied up in any sort of sexual relationship that is why sex is so powerful. Not everyone is the same, some people don't care but there are people that really want or feel that bond after sex and I can see that if they did have a sexual relationship that may have happened here.

Of course they may just have been friends, I can see that too, I think it is good to explore the possibility they may have as it could play a huge role in what DS did or says. I see Terri as a out for herself person, I see her as someone who does not care whose feelings she hurts as long as she is getting what she wants...JMO.

 

[human]

It's in the interview People did with DeDe. DeDe said they were receiving death threats, and went on to say she slept downstairs near the door with the fire extinguisher while Terri slept upstairs.

I can believe that they were receiving death threats.

But how were they receiving them? In the snail mail, I can believe.

Otherwise, LE could investigate any threats made and find the perp, unless the person went to a pay phone.

I wonder where pay phones are nowadays? I can't think of any where I live.

 

[human]

I'm going to share part of my life here to illustrate what I think of Dede and TH's relationship. I really think that they have a deep friendship, so deep it may seem like it could be sexual, and for all we know is.

I had two friends, well, I knew two people that I thought were my friends. I've had trouble making friends my whole life, and all I ever wanted to was have that one best friend that everyone else seemed to have but me. I did have some friends over time, but not that soulmate best friend that some people seemed to have. When I was getting my Master's degree, I met a girl that said everything I wanted to hear. At the time, I was still naive and a lot more gullible than I am now. I really thought she was my best friend, and I enjoyed being so close to her, like I was in some sort of secret circle that other people weren't allowed to be in, at least that's what she let me think. I watched how she treated other people, and we even shared laughter at the things she would do. Sometimes she'd ask me to lie about something or not say anything about something. It was like we had secrets from other people, or I'd help her get what she wanted from other people, all the while thinking how great this was, and how fun some of the risks were. But I didn't care as long as I thought she was my best friend, that friend I had always been looking for. When I think about it, I don't know how far I would have gone for her because I was so thankful and happy that I had finally found that best friend I had always been looking for that I can tell you I would have done anything to make sure she was still my best friend. I even charged up a credit card to help what I thought was "us" start a business on Ebay selling clothes and suits. I trusted her with paying monthly rent that I gave her for our apartment. I took care of a dog that she brought into our house but didn't take care of herself. I did so many things for her because I was convinced of what a great best friend she was.

It was all a lie, though. She lied about a lot things, only had the dog to make me think she liked dogs as much as I did, had no real respect for me, had lied about me to other people, and not only didn't pay me back for helping her start a business, but I found out she scamming the landlord on the rent. She would pretend to mail it from her work and then act like it got lost in the mail when she was really spending the money on herself. She also broke my car window, stole my purse, tried to cash a check using my license, and worst of all, called the police over to lecture me after I tripped during an argument and almost fell into her. She twisted it into assault and I was lucky she didn't charge me and that I didn't get jail time. I felt like the world's biggest idiot. I didn't realize that I should have paid attention to how she treated other people because why wouldn't she treat me any better? I had totally been scammed, had to pay back rent and had to help my parents help me with my credit card, and felt totally used and discarded. It was one of the worst times in my life after she left and after what she did to me.

She did call me once after that, complaining that someone had broken into her new place, a place she really couldn't afford to live in anyway, and I stupidly offered to let her store some stuff with me, but she said no and hung up the phone. I honestly think that she was seeing if there was anything else she could get out of me, and realized that there wasn't and just moved on, thank GOD.

There was another best friend at a later time that, well let's say it was the only experiment in my life, and she turned out to be a liar and user as well, only was much more obvious about it. I was so scared about being thrown out in the street in a city where I knew nobody that I was constantly trying to make up with her. Thankfully, I met my husband and moved in with him, and haven't look back since. I almost agreed to cosign on a car loan with her, but thank GOD I said no. She was terrible with money and I would have been the one responsible for it at some point.

The whole point here is, I was so desperate for a best friend that I did stupid things and believed everything these people were telling me. There's no telling how far I would have gone for the first one, and that scares me. But it tells me that sometimes people's lives can be missing one thing so much that they are willing to do anything to keep what they think they can't live without.

I think Dede is someone that doesn't make a whole lot of friends, especially close ones. Then she meets cool TH, a much more sexually aggressive and all around fun, risky person than Dede ever could be. She gets close to her, gets into TH's inner circle, and is willing to do what it takes to keep TH her friend. And TH is just a user, not close to anyone, willing to rope in the most gullible person and use them to her advantage until there's nothing left to gain from them. I think she might have even used sex here to get Dede to do what she wants. I wouldn't be surprised of that at all. I fear that she will turn on Dede and might even try to blame this whole thing on her just because that's what Dede is there for, to be her gofer and patsy. But Dede is so blinded by friendship, and maybe even love, that she's not seeing the real TH but the TH she wants to see, and thinks TH wouldn't ever throw her under the bus to get out of trouble. Who knows what these two have done and NOT been caught for until now.

I think that's why Dede keeps sending these reassuring messages, almost like see, I'm not talking, I'm not throwing you under the bus, I'm being your best friend still. Maybe she thinks TH won't do the same to her. But I don't think TH is as good of a best friend as Dede is, and I think she is totally using Dede to her advantage, and that probably will, at some point, include throwing Dede under the bus for this crime IF they are guilty of it. I doubt they are going stay friends after this, at least Dede might, but I figure TH will move on and find someone else to use and discard.

So I do believe it's a very close friendship, I think Dede thinks she's found her best friend or even soulmate here, and TH is definitely not on the same page. There's been no reassuring messages from her, no signal or anything except that she's not talking to suggest that Dede is safe. I won't be surprised to see her offer Dede up on a silver platter should she be arrested. I just hope Dede is prepared to do the right thing instead of going down for what she thinks is her best friend or soulmate.

And I agree that some deep friendships do not have a sexual component, but it's so deep it mirrors a romantic relationship. I don't think that's the case here. I think Dede THINKS it's a deep friendship while TH is just exploiting it, even sexually, to get what she wants. When you've found someone, whether lover or friend, that you can't live without, you find you're willing to do all sorts of things to keep them, even bad things. Luckily, I escaped from two false friendships without jailtime or doing something I would deeply regret later. I guess we'll wait and see how deep their friendship really is should they ever be arrested. As it stands now, it does seem that there's more than just a friendship there to Dede, at the very least a deep, almost romantic one that Dede seems to willing to keep no matter what while TH is willing to just keep using Dede until she can discard her and move on.

Sorry this was so long, and all is MOO.

What a great post! But I think Dede is a user herself. So maybe a mutual user, with TH as the leader?

I think of the Hillside Stranglers who were cousins. One was the dominant, but obviously they were both ugly.

And then someone gave the example of the pair of women who took a child (step or bio?) from school and the mother strangled him in the car.

 

[passionflower]

I have 2 best friends and we are really close.
BUT my husband, children, other people all know!
My friends are here at my house, we shop together.
Our husbands are friends also, but not as close as us.
I would never dream of keeping them 'secret'..........
why would you keep a great friend a 'secret'?????

 

[Donjeta]

[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]

OMG! That's what I was thinking too!

Here's how my theory goes:
Terri tried the MFH plot against Kaine by trying to seduce the LS, but that failed. A few months later, DDS comes into the picture. Terri realizes DDS is interested in her romantically and takes advantage of the situation.

The only motive I can think of for Kyron to need to disappear is *if* Kaine had a life insurance policy. Terri was no longer interested in being with her husband but he's the sole provider and makes a nice income. She's living in a house that she likes, afterall she is the one who found the house!

Terri decides that she wants all of the money from the life insurance policy and doesn't want to have to split it with Kyron. So she needs him out of the picture. (Somehow DDS helped, but to what extent I'm not sure).

Once Kyron is gone, all that is left to do is eliminate Kaine. Kaine is so distraught over losing Kyron that "he committs suicide" or there is an "accident".

This is JMO and all speculative.

What's the law about it? Wouldn't Kyron still count as a beneficiary of Kaine's life insurance and inheritance (unless Kaine has ruled him out by naming other people) as long as he's not been found deceased or been declared legally dead? It might take a while for the legally dead thing, in the absence of any evidence of death, so IMO if the plan was to cut him out of Kaine's inheritance it was not a very good plan to have him disappear for long and he should be somewhere where he'll be found eventually.

BBM I have no idea how we can jump from them being good friends to lovers. I have to even question the "good" friend aspect. Kaine stated that he didn't know Dede well but that she had helped plan a 40th birthday party for Terri. Dede's Ex BF states that he had never met Kaine or Terri. Dede's Ex BF said that she was a very caring person and thoughtful. I have not heard any accounts that these 2 woman were close recently (ie working out, visiting etc).

I wonder if Dede just read about Terri in the newspaper and offered her assistance. Dede has no ties and probably it was easy for her to go and stay with Terri after Terri's parents left. I really don't think these 2 had an ongoing relationship daily after they stopped working out together.

If someone has a link to support that they were hanging out with each other before this happened I would like to see it because I haven't read that.

I think what has gotten Dede in trouble is that she stayed with Terri, purchased a "bat" phone and probably gave her advice that those who feel she is guilty didn't like. All IMO

JMO but I find it rather unlikely that someone who was never close to Terri would have helped her plan a birthday party and dropped everything to help her after reading from the news that she was in trouble. It wouldn't surprise me if Kaine wasn't aware of all his wife's friends. And of course if there was more than friendship Terri mightn't tell him anything.

Dede herself says she and Terri have been friends for several years and implies they know each other well.

"I just really don't. In my heart, I really don't. In all of these years [as her friend], I have not seen anything that would lead me to believe that she is capable or motivated in any way to do something like this."
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/08/dede_spicher_to_people_magazin.html

It's in the interview People did with DeDe. DeDe said they were receiving death threats, and went on to say she slept downstairs near the door with the fire extinguisher while Terri slept upstairs.

This quote was one of the things that made me wonder if they might have had a closet relationship, the fact that DS thought it necessary to point out that they weren't sleeping together, not even on the same floor. It had never occurred to me to wonder where everyone slept.